Although the order in which the four immeasurables are generally mentioned is "compassion, compassion, joy, and giving," one must start with the practice of egalitarian giving. Because compassion is very important in the whole practice, and the immeasurable mind of equal giving is the most skilful way to get us into true undifferentiated compassion.

Paranoia about the separation of relatives and enemies is the biggest obstacle to the practice of Mahayana Buddhists who practice "saving all living beings." When we meet someone we don't like, we often forget that we are Mahayana Buddhists and that we must be responsible for all sentient beings, so it is difficult to have the idea of hoping that the other person will become a Buddha, which leads to a conflict between ideals and reality. Whether it is attachment to family affection or enemy relationships, it will cause us to have selective compassion based on our emotional preferences. This is the compassion of distinction, not the compassion of true equality.

Whenever our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body come into contact with the external senses, sounds, fragrances, and touches, we will "like" the objects that are pleasing to us, and we will "dislike" the objects that are not pleasant. Because the main consciousness makes a distinction between the external environment through the five roots, there is a distinction between "liking" and "disliking" the touches of color, sound, fragrance, and touch. If we first apply "compassion" and "compassion" to our own minds, we can easily fall into the paranoia of "pleasure" and "displeasure" because of the habit of separation.

What is the way we can balance our attachments to likes and dislikes to truly unbiased compassion? It is "equal giving", that is, "may all sentient beings live in equality away from love and hatred". "Renunciation" is to let go, let go of the attachment to the good and the bad, and treat anyone, thing, and thing equally. However, treating all sentient beings as equals does not mean abandoning our relatives and friends, but learning from our hearts not to cling to them and learning to let go.

For the establishment of equanimity, we must also start by recognizing the transformation of kinship and enmity in impermanence, otherwise it will be difficult to truly develop a bodhichitta without paranoia. Because it is not difficult to be alone in front of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and vow to become a Buddha for the benefit of all sentient beings in the world; But when you encounter setbacks or have to face reality, it's not easy. The immeasurable mind of equanimity is to let us first understand and strengthen the concept that the world is inherently impermanent. Because of impermanence, everything is changing, and the relationship between relatives and enemies is not constant. You can't be sure if a person will always be your enemy, loved one, or friend.

What we dislike the most is the enemy, but some people are not necessarily the real enemy, and we also feel disgusted, why? Because we, as ordinary people, tend to look for the shortcomings of others rather than examine our own faults, there are always some people or things or things that make us feel unpleasant and unpleasant. Everyone usually has this mentality to a greater or lesser extent: for someone we don't like, if someone gives happiness, we will jointly dislike the person who gives happiness; If he is in pain and someone comes to help, we will also be unhappy with the person who reaches out. When he is sick or hurt by someone else, we rejoice in the person who has hurt him but has nothing to do with him. In other words, as long as the target is someone we don't like, if someone hurts his body or satirizes him with words, we will rejoice in these unkind deeds. On the other hand, when someone supports, assists, or praises, we have negative emotions. On the other hand, we will develop a special attachment to certain objects that we like, such as relatives, family, friends, and even people, things, and things around us that are more desirable to us, and thus we will have all kinds of emotions—these emotions are completely opposite to the emotions we have when facing people we don't like.

The relationship between family affection and enemies often changes due to differences in time and space.

Master Kajayan was one of the ten disciples of Shakyamuni Buddha. One day, while he was taking the alms, he saw a woman nursing a child in her arms, and she was eating the cooked fish she had caught by the stream. When she had finished eating, she threw the bones out, and a female dog tried to eat the bones, and the woman threw a stone at her. When Master Kajayan saw this, he couldn't help but laugh.

The disciple wondered why the master laughed, and Master Kajayan said, "Why is the world so ridiculous? The child in the woman's arms was the great enemy she had killed in her previous life, and because of this karma, she was now reincarnated as her child to collect debts. And her father was a fisherman in his previous life, and after his death, he was reincarnated as a fish, and was caught by his daughter to roast and eat; After her mother died, she was reincarnated as a and went to bite her husband's bones. Of course, the woman did not know the cause, so she took the child of her enemy's reincarnation, roasted the fish of her father's reincarnation, and stoned her mother's reincarnated dog. It was the latter two that should have been honored, but one was roasted and eaten by her, and the other was stoned by her, and the one who should be hated has now become the treasure she needs to pay the most love.

The Buddhist scriptures say: "The mind is free from obstacles, without obstacles, without fear, and away from upside-down dreams." "The reason why ordinary people have a lot of love and hatred is because we have too many attachments and upside-down dreams in our hearts. This kind of attachment, whether it is for people or things, will make us feel that we are suffering from gains and losses. When our hearts are swayed by upside-down dreams, there are many discriminating thoughts that create changes in our mood such as likes and dislikes. In fact, it's just that our ignorance hinders our own wisdom in our hearts, because there has never been a gathering and separation in the world for no reason, and we don't know whether our fate was friend or foe, and blindly judging and choosing only according to our own preferences is just a manifestation of ignorance. Buddhism teaches us that when we come to this world, we need karma. Treat all encounters with a normal heart and a grateful attitude, because it is all due to fate.