There are many ways to care, and the focus is on the spiritual level. A person, especially when he is old, is the same as a lay monk and a great practitioner, and as the entire "Big Four" weakens, his mind will be more inclined towards children. Just as children need to be coaxed, the elderly also need to be coaxed. The premise is that the caregiver must have a kind heart, and always use words to make him understand that you care about him, not just give materially. We often have spiritual communication with our parents, and we will not lose much if we say a few nice words, or we can also express our care by buying some intimate gifts. However, many people just can't do it. In the case of the elderly, material food and clothing do not need to be spent too much, and spiritual care is very important. If you just stuff some money into your parents from time to time, but let them live alone, and no one will take care of them when they are facing illness in the end, this is not a real concern. Although he does not say what you have done, he will leave this world with a grudge against you.

Therefore, hospice care should be extended throughout a person's life, because what they do to their elders now will become an example for their children and grandchildren. If you don't do well now, the children will learn to treat themselves by their own actions in the future, and then you can't blame the child for being unfilial, because he sees that you treat the elders like this - how can you blame them for not having a good example for him to learn? When relatives and friends are alive, we should pay more attention to them, especially when they are about to enter the final process of this life, and do not stimulate their mentality or behavior. Many people think that when a patient is suffering from an incurable disease, it may be helpful to tell him the truth earlier. Many doctors share this notion as well. However, from my experience with patients, I have learned that many people have a strong hope that they will live, and if we tell them that the pain will take their life early, although there is nothing wrong with it, it will discourage their strong desire to live. So it takes a lot of skill.

The most important thing is that it is not a matter of saying that we care and love others and that they recognize our compassion from within. When they have faith, it is time to reason in order for them to understand how to make trade-offs.

Especially a person who is close to death is really helpless, because he knows that he cannot take away all the possessions of this life, and he also knows that all this is meaningless to him, but he can't let go of this attachment. When he is attached to his relatives and friends, including you in front of you, you must reassure him and tell him about his family's concern: on the one hand, I hope that he will be able to recover his health, and on the other hand, let him rest assured that everything at home is at home. When his eyes are blurry, his ears begin to hallucinate, or he can't hear your voice clearly, he will believe that he is really going to die. At that time, you can tell him the truth and ask him to let go of everything at home, because the attachment to his family, relatives and friends, and the real world has no meaning for him now, and the only thing that is meaningful is his spiritual faith. If he believes in Buddhism, then he should remember the Buddha. If there are other helpers, hopefully they will be able to combine their good thoughts with the blessings of the helpers. At this time, we should continue to enlighten him, so that he can let go of his attachments.

Many times, although the dying person knows that he is going to die, he cannot let go of all the belongings of the family and the child. I have seen a paralyzed mother lying in bed, still obsessed with her son not yet married. This kind of attachment doesn't mean anything to them, but they just can't let go, and we have to do our best to get them to let go. In the process, he will have a strong sense of disappointment and even despair in his spirit. His eyes can no longer see you for what you really are, and the rows of people standing in front of you are useless; The hearing of the ear is gone, and you comfort him with words, but he can't hear clearly...... At this time, family members or relatives and friends are next to him, and they should touch his body with their hands, touch his hands, or touch his forehead to make him feel that you are next to him, to help him through this most lonely process - this is a very important procedure.

Let's not face the dead with a very irritable mindset. When many people see their loved ones dying, they cry, or shout, grab the deceased, and so on. These are all actions to avoid.

Why? Because the deceased has a sense of uncertainty about what their future holds. Don't say that the deceased will be reborn in another realm, we will go from the country where we grew up to another country, and when we are not familiar with the language and environment there, we will feel uneasy and fearful before getting on the plane. If this fear exists in the world and in a different place of residence, then it will be even stronger when facing the end of this life and the beginning of the next life. When he is in that kind of fear, if you trigger his attachment in this life and let him reminisce, of course he will be more reluctant to let go, and he will inevitably suffer more and more. Many times, it is difficult to give up on him because of our filial piety or love for him, but at this time, we must hold back our grief and hope that the whole process of his death will go smoothly. The only thing that can help him is spiritual giving. Yelling doesn't mean anything to him and only hurts him more; Because distracting thoughts will form attachments, which will have a very bad effect on the process of passing away. Many people are faced with the imminent death of a person, and they can't let go of this life, and they grab their own body with their hands, or they want to grab someone else. We must not do that.

When practicing the Dharma of Rebirth for the Dying, there is a description of the transformation of the consciousness of appeasing as follows: "Now that the bardo has come to me at the end of my life, I will give up all attachments, desires, and attachments, and enter into the clear awareness of the teachings without any distraction, and project my consciousness into the void of rigpa; When I leave the flesh and blood body, I will know that it is a fleeting apparition."

It is important to care for the dying person at the end of life and pay attention to the changes in his or her state of mind, because the ordinary mind is affected by habits, and the consciousness of the heart will be active at any time under any influence of habits. At the time of death, habits that have long been familiar will be expressed naturally and guide the direction of regeneration. The last thoughts and emotions before death can have an extremely powerful and decisive impact on the future of the deceased. That's why we say that it's extremely important to stop evil and cultivate good in our current practice, because when we face the moment of death, if we want to control our mind and consciousness, it is all based on our usual spiritual skills.