Although in order to prevent the people from enjoying the feast without noticing the passage of time, it is customary to delay the curfew on the Double Ninth Day over the years, so that no matter the nobles, they can return happily, and even like the king of Nanyang and the Xie and Liu clans who originally built villas in Leyou, it is even more common to stay overnight, but like Lu Li and He Zhan, the two officials who need to enter the palace early the next day, they must return to the house early in order not to miss the right job.

The sunset of the golden autumn has not yet sunk into the mountains, the happy crowd is everywhere in the Leyou Plain, Lu Li is ready to return home, such a season has not come to the bleak wind and cold rain, but in the morning and evening, Lu Li is already a little difficult to withstand the cold, he can't even ride, so he has to rely on the car and travel, and he also needs to put on a green coat to keep out the cold, even so, the maid who takes care of the living is still not very relieved, and closes the car window carefully, so the beautiful scenery outside the window is completely isolated, and he can only faintly hear the chat, laughter and songs along the way, as if from another world.

The carriage and horses did not move, but Lu was gradually melancholy, the fatigue and soreness oozing from his muscles and bones made him inevitably depressed, but his eyebrows and eyes were still calm, and he couldn't see any emotion.

is not yet the age of aging, but he is far away from the years of traveling on horseback, what helplessness and envy, only alone in this dull space, quietly get used to it.

The light of the sky faintly filtered through the window paper, making the quiet side face even paler.

His thoughts drifted away, and he didn't pay attention to the conversation outside the car, but the curtain was lifted, and a person bent down to enter, but it was He Zhan.

"Today I want to take advantage of the Gorgeous Garden to rest for one night, and tomorrow I will enter the palace with you." Suddenly entering the dim car, Shishiro didn't notice that Lu Li seemed to be tired, and after he said this with his head down, he sat still, and didn't say much along the way, looking more preoccupied than Lu Li.

The car and gradually entered the market, the noisy and noisy gradually calmed down, Lu Li was intolerant of the wind and cold, and instructed to prepare food in the study, the absent-minded He Zhan did not pay attention to these trivial details at all, and for a long time he sat silently and drank alone, until he woke up, but he saw that Lu Li had leaned lightly, slightly closed his eyelids as if he had fallen asleep.

"Ayayuki." Only then did He Zhan realize that something was wrong, and reached out to shake his friend's shoulder twice: "But you feel unwell?" ”

Lu Li didn't sleep, just closed his eyes to recuperate, his eyes were still clear as usual, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he couldn't help coughing a few times, in the end, he supported his forehead with one hand, and sighed and smiled bitterly: "There is no big problem, it's just an old disease, and there will inevitably be some symptoms in the cold season." ”

Intentionally changing the topic, Lu Li followed up and asked: "Chengtai has a lot of worries today, but what troubles are there?" ”

These words immediately touched He Zhan's melancholy mood, and he quickly and in detail repeated today's conversation with Eleven Niang.

Lu Li has been reclining a few times, such an action makes his shoulder blades more prominent, and when Shishilang's voice is behind, he sits up slightly, his eyes look at the wine cup held by Shishilang, but he holds his bowl of medicinal soup and takes a sip, he can't even replace wine with tea at this time, so he has to borrow bitter medicine to accompany him.

"It's finally this day, in fact, you and I may not be unprepared, but care is chaotic, whether it was expected or not, and it is inevitable to worry when it comes to it." But it is such a sentence, as if a compromise has been accepted.

So He Zhanda was anxious: "So far, does Xuanzhi still have to look forward and backward?" Hugh said that perfunctory words, I won't believe a word, and don't repeat those words for the overall situation, Xuanzhi, I have long seen that you are not only a confidant to the fifth sister, you love her, from the past to the present, never stopped, but the fifth sister is a fan of the authorities, thinking that you are just a friendship with her, but I can see that she is not ordinary to you, Xuanzhi, now only you can stop her! ”

Speaking of this, he drank a glass of wine again, and paused heavily: "In the past, you had no choice but to miss it, do you still want to see the fifth sister repeat the same mistakes?" What kind of revenge Zhaoxue, Li Min Cangsheng, that is you and I should be responsible as men, and we can't let a woman like the fifth sister sacrifice happiness, Xuanzhi, I never thought that you were a cowardly and cowardly, you should give the fifth sister happiness. ”

Lu Li clearly saw that the fingers he was holding on to the food table tightened uncontrollably, and even the surging emotions in his chest, the obscure sourness in his eyes, at this time, also hit him very clearly and violently, so that his lips and tongue were stiff and numb, and his bones ached, he couldn't speak for a long time, and he couldn't calm down anymore, so although he closed his eyes, he finally couldn't help it, and a tear soaked the corners of his eyes.

He suddenly remembered that year, when he heard the news of Wodan's death, he woke up from a nightmare, and saw his sister lying on his couch crying, and how he envied his sister at that time for crying loudly.

From that moment on, there was no hope in his life, and his only reason for living was for revenge and Zhaoxue.

Otherwise, how can we endure the despair and regret of these long years, and we can't face this empty and desolate life without her anymore.

Adoring her did start a long time ago, and it has never stopped.

But Pei Wudan and Xue Luli, maybe the footnotes have already been engraved on the Sansheng Stone, but they missed the two words.

"Chengtai, if I could really give her happiness, I wouldn't be silent until now." He finally spoke, and the voice was so unfamiliar that he was a little surprised.

"I think the most wrong thing I did in my life was that I didn't confess my heart to her at the beginning, if it weren't for the fact that I thought I knew her well, I might not have let go easily, when she got married, I still thought that I could succumb to fate and live as she wanted, I was the most sorry person, in addition to her, there was Banniang, a sister she cherished so much......"

"It's all in the past!"

"Yes, these are in the past, but Chengtai, now I can't give her happiness, I was hunted down by the new Turks, I was highly poisoned, I couldn't be relieved in time, and afterwards I fell seriously ill due to many blows, although I barely left my life, I can no longer enjoy the number of permanent life." Lu Li raised his eyes to look at He Zhan, but his sight was empty: "I have ten years at most, and ten years have passed, and now Wudan is still in his youth." ”

But he was nearing the end of his life.

How could she be lonely?

He could no longer accompany her to grow old together, and he could not irresponsibly plunge her into a long grief after giving her hope.

"So the only thing I can do is to do my best for the last ten years to help her get her wish."

And ten years later, Lu Li can no longer accompany Wodan's future.

"Chengtai, the burden on her shoulders is too heavy, don't tell her about this, in fact, I'm really glad that she can ...... like this" finally knocked on the lamp and smiled bitterly, and the residual black juice seemed to seep into the eyes: "Facing love and hate so indifferently, as long as Pei Zheng's grievances are snowed, there will be no regrets." ”

Back then, when they were childhood sweethearts, when they didn't guess for a little while, once, Wu Dan, who had a lot of alcohol, was half drunk, and Lu Li listened to her and regretted it.

- Brother Lu, is the word love really so pestering? Even if the aunt is free and easy like Yingyang, it is inevitable that she will be hurt for half her life because of the loss of her beloved, if the aunt had reservations back then, she would not be so desperate at this time, it seems that if you want to be arbitrary, you should control it as soon as possible, after all, in this world, regardless of life and death, how many people who originally knew each other's hearts and swore to each other, and then it was difficult to go through many obstacles of the years and customs, and there were those who were cold-hearted, and those who were subservient were inseparable from the word resentment. Therefore, life is short, and it is fortunate that it is not arbitrary, but if there is no luck, you should also cherish yourself.

At that time, she was just like the age of cardamom now, without the current burden, more free and bold - I thought that the love of men and women, indulged in luck, must not and do not have to be angry, everything that people have experienced in their lives, can not be satisfied, compared to the love of men and women, blood kinship, friendship seems to be more solid, so it should be cherished. It's good that you and I are like me, born in the world, growing up in wealth, but often envy the freedom of the people in cloth, but I don't know how many civilians are also envying us? It can be seen that man's misfortune lies in demand, while man's pleasure lies in self-sufficiency.

——The so-called life has a confidant without regrets, let alone many relatives and friends around you?

In my memory, the woman's smiling face, her cheeks reddened by alcohol, and her eyebrows and eyes flying when she was half-drunk, everything was as she was in front of her.

- Brother Lu, I am very glad to know you and know you, so although due to the limitations of the boudoir, I can't travel north and south as you in the future, as long as you tell the truth what you have heard and seen, it is just like what I have experienced, even if I can't help myself, I won't be heartbroken.

Wotan, I really hope that you are still the same as at the beginning, even if one day, I have to die first, you will not be sad about the impermanence of life and death, at least we know each other, at least you can fulfill your wishes, you will not be sad in the long life, there is this and a half unsatisfactory.

In this way, I will be able to be less ashamed and wait to see you again in the next samsara.