In June of 02, Yu Zijin found a job on night duty at a 24-hour supermarket on Xishui Street. As is customary, girls are not allowed to work night shifts, and she lied to the person in charge that her home lives upstairs from the supermarket, which is very close. What's more, this area of West Water Street is a residential area. It's good to say that I agreed. Since then, he has been working from 11 o'clock at night to 8 o'clock the next day. During this period, he took turns sleeping in the duty room with Ola, who was on the same duty, and he slept in the first half and Yu Zijin in the second half. At half past nine, she was going to work as a receptionist at another company, and when no one was around, she took a nap.

These 24-hour supermarkets are not very large, at most two living rooms combined. The variety of goods is also very limited, mainly snacks. Plus two rows of daily necessities. In the display case behind Yu Zijin are thirteen different brands of cigarettes, two of which are Ola's favorite cigarettes. Camels and three-five. In addition, there are some beauty and skin care products, as well as inexplicable items. The overall structure is so imaginative that it can even be summed up as a metaphor for numbers in ancient Greek culture.

From 11:30 to 1 o'clock, there is a peak period for passenger traffic. At 12 o'clock, the "Willow Leaf" Internet café at the east end closed on time, and within half an hour, there were people who pushed open the glass door in twos and threes, and took their needs from the shelves to the front of the counter to settle the bill. Basically, they are half-grown children, all of them come to the gas station to replenish their energy as if they had run the same way. Cigarettes and instant noodles, biscuits and drinks, to name a few. It's been a long time, and you don't have to think about it to know who will want what flavor of instant noodles today.

Ola is more close to them, and often talks about online games across the counter. Yu Zijin didn't understand much, and he wasn't very interested, so he only smiled and watched their young faces vividly approaching old age. Sometimes, Ola takes out change from his pocket and throws it into the cash drawer, snorting a cold beer in the freezer, leaning on the slightly cool counter and taking a sip, which is very enjoyable. The speakers at the top of the freezer are silently playing pop songs. Hong Kong singer Faye Wong's "Passing Year" or Lin Yilian's "Lonely Meteor Group". Aura loved these two pieces as sincerely as she loved the taste of camels and Sango, and she never got tired of listening to them.

Yu Zijin doesn't play games. She'd tried since she needed to hide in the city, but she couldn't learn. I sometimes played war games such as "Return to Wolfenstein", but I quickly lost interest because I couldn't get through it. Repeatedly picking up treasures in the same location, replenishing ammo, and killing the same number of enemies is infuriating. She hated this seemingly random immutability. Maybe it's still making excuses for bad performance. Who knows.

After two o'clock, Ora entered the duty room. The hall suddenly opened up because there was one less person's share. The wine in his hand is almost at the bottom. The air-conditioning unit emits a slight roar, and fluorescent lamps block the silent night from the door. Yu Zijin pressed the repeat button and began to listen to Taiwanese singer Qi Yu's "YOU CAN'T SAY" REPEATEDLY. I have been hearing indifferently in front of the glass door indifferently looking at the night outside, and I have been hearing Uncle Kui pushing the door in.

YOU CAN SAY ALL THINGS MUST END ......

BUT YOU CAN’T SAY YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE

Qi Yu's voice is actually not very mellow in the depths. After listening to it for a long time, I came to this conclusion. But this did not prevent her from singing this last sentence, and when she sang it, Yu Zijin had the urge to light the thirteen brands of cigarettes behind her and burn them clean. viciously copied the last sentence "BUT YOU CAN'T SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE" IN HIS HEART, IN ORDER TO DISPEL THE SUDDEN IMPULSE AND CALM THE INDESCRIBABLE IRRITABILITY. This move has been tried and tested, and in the end, like an inexplicable disgust for the relationship itself after the climax, the quality of the voice is not considered.

Uncle Kui couldn't help but ask her what she was doing every day from mid-June to early July. Yu Zijin didn't bother to answer, Uncle Kui came to the store in pinstriped pajamas to buy hot mocha and ham bread, and asked for a pack of cigarettes before leaving. Sometimes I come to Shangri-La. At the checkout, his index and middle fingers can be seen to have a thick crust with a light smoky yellow.

You don't want to play the same song all the time. This is the one I hear every time I come here.

It's fifteen pieces of six. Yu Zijin ignored his words.

Really, I keep humming this tune whenever I'm free now. I always hum no, I don't know what's wrong, I can't pick it up, I keep thinking, it's always uncomfortable if I don't pick it up.

Which paragraph?

Now it will. I've been listening to it for almost a month, can it?

That's good.

But don't always put this one! Aren't you tired?

Not tired at the moment.

It's weird! Whoever is tired of this has long been tired.

Uncle Kui was in a hurry to hand me the ticket with a hundred baht in his hand, so he just kept talking in pieces. Good is good, but any song, repeated and repeated, will become as monotonous and boring as mechanical sound, nothing less than noise, you know?

Yu Zijin lowered his head and took out four baht and four corners of change from the cash cabinet, lined up in front of him and said: Find your change.

After nearly a month of stalemate, in the end, there was no longer any action to persuade her. It is no exaggeration to say that Qi Yu is simply ignored. calmly chatted with Yu Zijin in front of the counter without a word, no matter how many days "YOU CAN'T SAY" was repeated and how many times.

Habit is actually the result of a mechanical movement. During the chat, Yu Zijin looked at Uncle Kui and thought to himself. Everyone is a mechanical animal. For example, Uncle Kui doesn't come to the store until three o'clock every day to buy mocha and ham bread, which is actually a mechanical movement. Over time, it evolves into a habit. To him and to himself. Once Uncle Kui stops this routine, maybe Yu Zijin will not get used to it at first. Because she had begun to habitually take the mocha and ham bread out of the shelves around 3 o'clock every day, and then put them back in. until this mechanical movement stops running. He will be accustomed to gazing indifferently at the night at Qi Yu's singing around three o'clock. This is known as a habit.

But she didn't say it to Uncle Kui. She felt that he might not understand it. On the contrary, it may cause ambiguity. Yu Zijin wasn't very interested in him, so he couldn't make him think. As long as you don't get used to this habit of having him at three o'clock. There's nothing wrong with small talk, especially at this time.

At the end of September, Yu Zijin said goodbye to Uncle Kui. CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM FOR BEING FREED FROM LISTENING TO QIYU'S "YOU CAN'T SAY" COUNTLESS TIMES AT 3 AM.

I won't be coming to work tomorrow. I'm in for a treat today.

I don't do it well. It's not that you don't want to see me.

Where the words!

There's a reason for that!

Go far away. No leave here.

Not coming in the future?

It's possible.

I'll miss you.

So will I.

Can't you go without going? Do you have to go?

Oh, yes. It's an important thing, so I have to go.

Where to go?

Payao.

Haven't heard of it.

It's a small place, few people know about it.

Have friends there. Going to that place doesn't feel like going on a tour.

Right.

Very good? Otherwise, I wouldn't even want to work.

Would you like some beer? Yu Zijin asked him. It is unbelievable that a person is still chattering at three o'clock in the morning. The beer was cold and somewhat over-iced. When I drank it, my throat and eyes felt like I had been burned with fire. It takes a few words to alleviate it.

It's hard to talk about. But I like it very much.

Very much? What a concept?

It's twice as much as the sum of the likes you plus the camels and the three or five plus the likes of Qi Yu plus the likes of anything else.

Oh~~~ Uncle Kui dragged out his voice and nodded to show that he understood. However, Yu Zijin guessed that he didn't necessarily really understand. This explanation is like explaining the difference between black and white to a blind person. How did you meet? So far away. Colleague or classmate?

Yu Zijin smiled. Stretched out his hand and made a keyboard tapping motion. Because I held the beer can, I still had water stains in my hands. When I do that, my hands are like tears.

Uncle Kui looked at her in surprise. She shrugged at him. Reach for the beer can on the table and hold it in your hand. There was a tingling in the palms of my hands. It's so cool, this wine. It's unbelievable.

Ever seen?

Not. Damn it~~ Uncle Kui couldn't help shaking his head, he didn't even want to work like this!

Originally, I was looking for this to save money for the journey.

What if you don't like it? Come back. It's as if you've never been there, there's no such thing. Forget everything you can forget.

Terrible! What if you like him?

I'll stay for a week and come back.

What about later?

What's next?

You like him! There should be a future! At least have a plan for the future.

So what?

What is it called and what? Uncle Kui scratched his hair.

It's over, what else can I do. Yu Zijin felt that he was really a little stupid.

How can you do that? It's so inauthentic!

Benevolence and righteousness have been exhausted, what do you want me to do?

How can I say it....... Uncle Kui can't think of an ugly person.

It's just online dating, just a pastime. The best games on the web are no different. That's it, why are you so nervous. Yu Zijin had become very slippery, and smiled at him.

You're a scumbag. He reciprocated Yu Zijin's smile with disdain.

Possible.

I can't really see it.

It's all the same! Man. Drink alcohol to dissipate your gas. You're all red.

If you like him, you should be with him. This is the real online dating.

Nerves, full of support.

You're such a scumbag!

Yu Zijin was very unbearable. I really don't know how to get rid of him: he'll get tired. You've also said that no matter how good a song is, you will feel monotonous and boring if you listen to it countless times over and over again. At first, it sounded good, and I liked it. From time to time, I put it out and listen to it a few times, and I think the orchestration, lyrics, timbre, and melody are all exquisite. I can't listen to it forever. But after listening to it for a long time, I will say, ah~ here it is again. Old. I'm annoyed and feel bored. As soon as a new tune came along, I hurriedly put this one aside and listened to that one. Isn't this a common thing? Nothing to fuss about.

That's pop, we're talking about people, people! It's nothing else. NO, smoke, NO, wine, NO, Qiyu, NO, other ANYTHING.

Matter! Yu Zijin waved impatiently to cut off his words. If a man nags, it's really unbearable. The pinstripes on his pajamas diffracted in the fluorescent lamp, and those who watched were distraught. Yu Zijin hates to be entangled with a person about something that can never be explained, and it is not a big deal of right and wrong. I don't think he deserves to drink a cold beer with him.

In the first place, you shouldn't like people.

You don't understand. There will always be someone in this world that you like inexplicably. Because he has good fingers, because he has a good voice, or because he walks like Donald Duck.

I haven't heard of anyone who would like Donald Duck men.

So Uncle Kui is not a man worth drinking with. He couldn't even understand a word that meant something. Yu Zijin almost wanted to coax him out of the door, and the farther away the better. But the cold beer still irritated her throat, and she had to go on uncomfortably.

You don't see what I mean. It's not that anyone would like a man like Donald Duck. Just say who you would like because of some of these traits. The network is a filter that filters out some large areas of ordinary, leaving only some exquisite wonderful. I can't help but be moved. Yu Zijin sighed, and then said: In the middle of the night, someone sent you a nice document. Sadness and tranquility can easily give people the illusion. It's as if you can hear him singing. It was very warm and warm. You can even see his hands, see his hands touching your soul. And his face, as handsome as Takeshi Kaneshiro's, suited to black and white tones. How can you resist it? How can you not like him! How can you not listen to a song countless times at midnight and make the night a gentle mess. Everything was perfect as if God had orchestrated it.

When he said this, Yu Zijin suddenly became sad. Remembering the excitement of receiving the order to return to Payao in May, she decided to find a part-time job to save money for the journey. After a few months, I was able to calmly face the next day's long journey. The documents he passed over were engraved by Yu Zi Jinyang and listened to them every night. Maybe it's because I've listened to it so much that I can't find the feeling I first heard it. THAT NIGHT, YU ZIJIN "BANG" IN EACH LETTER OF "YOU CAN'T SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE".

The hand holding the jug was wet, and the beach was like a tearful face. Yu Zijin rubbed them dry on his pants, tears were worthless, and a face full of tears was shameful.

Uncle Kui said: It's just crazy.

Yu Zijin shook his hand and wanted to laugh. No! She actually knew it in her heart. She knew it was a delusion. She now has only a task in her heart, only revenge! It's all with him, who knew he was so detailed!

And what about you?

There should be an end. It can't go on like this. Like to like, but not to indulge. It's not good for anyone, and it affects health. I can't eat, and I can't sleep well. I'm aging much faster than anyone else.

Why bother? In the end, it's a dead move.

It's not because of loneliness. Yu Zijin spread his hands and pretended to be helpless.

Loneliness is a specialty of this chaotic labyrinth. Once you are in it, it is inevitable that you will not be branded. In every unchanging life, loneliness follows like a shadow. gnawing at the fragile bones, making it unable to bear the feeling of being tired and monotonous with a system-like routine. Eating and sleeping, having sex and even cheating on a regular basis are all punctual and punctual.

Either numbness or boredom, or both. No matter how much you struggle, it is difficult to get rid of it. In the end, it is nothing more than falling from one routine to another. What about liking someone? Sooner or later, we will get tired of each other. If it really comes to an end, wouldn't it be a wonderful irony to look back at the beginning? Maybe it's wise to end it in time while you still like each other. At the very least, it leaves a way back for the future and has the courage to reminisce about the past.

Is this the ultimate in loneliness? What if it's not a person who likes it, but revenge?

Yu Zijin couldn't think clearly, and he didn't want to think about it more. Just drank the beer with his head down, secretly hoping that he would see Uncle Kui walk out of the store before the last sip. And glad it was the last night I saw him. In a few hours, she was lying on a bunk on a train and heading to a strange city to deal with a group of strangers. She didn't want Uncle Kui to ruin her good interest. At least for now, don't be disturbed by his unwarranted seriousness.

Payao? What kind of place is it? I'd love to know. If you find someone to drink with there, it will be much more freehand than now. I wish he could have a pair of black and white eyes, as clear as night and day. Uncle Kui chattered.

But he finally left. He could be heard singing Qi Yu's song from afar. The voice was rustling, like a piece of sandpaper polishing the lonely edges and corners. So that it is no longer sharp, so that people have nowhere to hide.

The wine in his hand has bottomed out.

In Payao, I stayed for nearly a week. After connecting with someone, he was sent to Koh Samui, and then was chased and killed by a woman in the Wanhua Hall of the Sheraton Hotel, and almost died. The staff who showed up by chance saved her life, and during her recuperation, she became so chatty that for a while even she thought she had gone mad. But it didn't. After recovering from her injuries, she often walked and stopped along a creek with a lot of pebbles. Sometimes it's daytime, sometimes it's night. Sometimes talking, sometimes kissing the river, sometimes drinking, sometimes lying in the water and fantasizing that you are a fish.

In retrospect, it's not quite true. Yu Zijin fled there at the speed of light after his body was completely healed. Now she couldn't remember the staff member's eyes, including his face.

After returning from Koh Samui, Yu Zijin felt as if he had been erased by the world. For three weeks in a row, she didn't meet a single person to talk to. Until one day, she met someone online who could tell a lot of jokes. Yu Zijin asked him if he had heard Qi Yu's songs. He snorted casually. The duplex sound quality of the software is not very good, there are many noises, and the speed of the network is also fast and slow, and his voice is also intermittent, but I can hear the tune he hums.

Yu Zijin sat there in a daze, and couldn't help but want to smoke the cigarettes in his pocket one after another, as Ola did.

At the end of the year, Yu Zijin went to another strange place, but did not find this person. I had to catch the train back that day.

Last week, I suddenly received a call from the director.

I'm coming back.

Very good. Congratulations.

Are you okay?

In online dating.