Yu Zipei plans to write the story of her and Mo Ren into a script. She knew that when she wrote these words, her girlhood would be over forever. But she doesn't regret it at all. She thought it should have ended a long time ago, she had been a girl for too long, and at the age of twenty-five, she was still called a "young girl" by Qin Wuji. These youthful and childish memories have been stranded in her body, allowing her to maintain the appearance of a child, leaving that confused, uneasy and stubborn look on her face, and as long as this expression remains, she has been living in the cracks of time, no longer young and unable to grow old.

It's time to get rid of this expression, and let the lines of time climb up her cheeks with peace of mind, Yu Zipei feels that she will become firm, calm, and serene, and whether it is Mo Ren or Qin Wuji, she will no longer love. She is free to grow old, and she will be free from your gaze and free from the erosion of time.

After she saw Lin Mu when she was eighteen years old, he was fixed from her life, and it was of course many years before he reappeared. In the meantime, her life was occupied by Qin Wuji and Mo Ren, and for a while she couldn't even imagine that she would have another life.

Of course, now everyone already knows, and later she and Mo Ren broke up. When it comes to breaking up, both parties do a lot of cruel things – cruel, and humiliating.

She had a new boyfriend and slept with him without hesitation, which she herself declared to the public. Mo Ren was mad at this. He first took all the love letters he had written, then numbered them, and together with hers, sealed them one by one in a new envelope, wrote the address of the television station, and sent them to the director at a rate of ten a day, for more than twenty days in one go.

These huge number of love letters flew like snowflakes, the director was inexplicable at first, and then when he understood the truth of the matter, he held a meeting to ask everyone to try to keep a low profile, not to publicize Xiaoyu's affairs, to protect Xiaoyu, but what is the difference between this and the story of him holding a loudspeaker and selling Yu Zipei on the street? Everyone looked at her with strange eyes, and Yu Zipei was ashamed and annoyed when she received these coded letters from her colleagues every day. Later, when the letters finally stopped, she thought it was Mo Ren's men showing mercy, until the leader of the TV station doorman called her over.

The short, fat, fierce-looking security team leader looked at Yu Zipei from top to bottom for a while, and said, "You are Yu Zipei?" He probably took it as a punishment for letting Yu Zipei stand there, and it took him a moment to get up and take down a large bundle of numbered letters from the top of the cabinet, which he had withheld. The team leader fiercely threatened that if this kind of disturbance of the normal postal order in Taili did not stop, he would hand over these things to the police station and hand them over to the police. The thought of the police officers coming together after work, reading Mo Ren's love letters that he called himself a bear biscuit, Yu Zipei almost fainted on the spot. In order not to make this happen, she tried her best to admit her mistake and plead, swore an oath, saying that these letters were just serialized novels, in order to improve her literary accomplishment, and promised to use other methods in the future to ensure that it would not happen again, and he finally handed the letter to Yu Zipei full of suspicion.

In fact, at this time, Yu Zipei had no other men at all. She just wanted to use this method to make herself and Mo Ren break off a little more completely. But things turned out not what he could have predicted. After the bombardment of love letters, she still couldn't feel at ease, and at that time she didn't know that the last thing she could tolerate as an Aquarius was inappropriate behavior, and this was exactly what Mo Ren was good at.

Really.

One day at noon, when she came back from lunch, she saw a stack of letters on the table in her apartment, both her own and someone else's. She flipped through it casually, and suddenly a familiar font on the envelope jumped out - it was written by Mo Ren to Meng Tian! Absolutely yes, no matter how much Mo Ren disguised it, Yu Zipei could recognize his font, not to mention that he wrote neatly and did not mean to hide it at all. Yu Zipei's face was swollen and red—what was he going to do? What tricks is he going to play? It's not enough for him to make himself embarrassed in Taiwan, but also to make trouble renting housing? Just when Yu Zipei was hesitating, not knowing whether to eat it or burn it, Meng Tian came in with a newly bought garment. Yu Zipei clutched the letter tightly in her hand, and made up her mind that she would never give it to her.

"Meng Tian, it was written by Mo Ren! - I didn't want him to trouble you with a letter from you, so I took it. ”

Yu Zipei finished speaking incoherently, and ran away with the letter without waiting for her reaction.

In the quiet little garden at noon, she read the letters, and then tore them to shreds. She and Mo Ren always made an appointment to meet outside, he and Meng Tian were not familiar with each other, of course he knew that the names of everyone in the apartment and their stories were told by Yu Zipei himself. In that letter, Mo Ren was ready to play the role of a seducer, seducing a girl in my room, and he even wrote a poem! Yu Zipei couldn't think of a more clumsy, annoying way than this—if he wanted to turn himself back.

Yu Zipei and Meng Tian never mentioned this matter again, and neither did Meng Tian. Yu Zipei is ashamed, and he doesn't know what Meng Tian is for.

Later, Mo Ren finally declared the end of the war between them, and returned all the things Yu Zipei had left with him in one go, and among the old movie tickets, birthday cards, and teddy bears that had been written, Yu Zipei found Meng Tian's letter to Mo Ren. In the letter, Meng Tian said that Yu Zipei had no right to take the letter written to her by Mo Ren, which was a violation of her human rights, and she was very unhappy about it. Yu Zipei thought that she and Meng Tian had always been good friends, and that was the first time she understood how people and people lacked understanding.

"At that time, I will work harder, and I will hook up with that Tian Tian in your dormitory." Ten years later, Mo Ren remembered this one day.

"Don't worry, there's no drama at all, she's ten times more sophisticated than you."

"Maybe you're right."

In the end, he is still better than he was ten years ago.

Yu Zipei forgot to say that Mo Ren was born in spring, Pisces, ruled by Neptune, surrounded by love and fantasy. There are many qualities in him that I have never been able to comprehend, because he is water and he is earth.

Mo Ren majored in engineering at Jula University, and after two years of unsuccessful attempts to transfer to the Chinese department, he sneaked into the college's printing workshop at the end of each semester to steal test papers, and so mixed up until graduation. This earned him a reputation as a genius at school – he was absent from school for a long time, and by the end of the semester his books were still new, but he had passed all the exams. His home computer is on all day, but it serves the same role as Yu Zipei's - for writing. He was the most diligent writer Yu Zipei had ever met.

For a while after graduating from college, he developed a huge passion for money, no less than he did for literature. He never tired of talking about money, about the life of the rich as he heard about it, about the infinite charm of material things, and began to buy clothes only in famous stores. People who meet for the first time will have the impression of him as a philistine when they hear the tone of his period, and Yu Zipei almost thinks that this guy is finished. But over the years she had developed the habit of not taking his words seriously, and his money was as much a shining dream as his love and his literature. He lays out a number of plans for the road to riches, each with detailed details and steps to implement it, all of which sound believable and enticing. In fact, this is the same as when he was in college, he once wanted to form a band called "Silly Kid", and once he wanted to cheat his father out of money to make a movie.

For two or three years, Mo Ren was torn between becoming a writer or a business elite, comparing only the difference between the most successful writer and the most successful business elite, without considering the difference between the unsuccessful writer and the unsuccessful business elite, and the difference between himself and the two, Yu Zipei thought that he was full of prejudice against himself and his life! Unable to make up his mind, he decided to study for an MBA, write at the same time, buy a suit, and buy jeans at the stall. He consulted Yu Zipei several times on this matter, but turned a deaf ear to her opinion.

Of course he has talent, but certainly not genius. His MBA was not read, and the opportunity for teenage fame was lost. If Mo Ren hadn't become a writer later, Yu Zipei once asked herself, would she have been disappointed? The answer is yes, it's not prejudice to her, it's common sense. She often thought he was incredible—what else was there to consider? What else is there to hesitate about? He was born destined to do this—writing was the only way to make his fantasies meaningful, to be tangible. In other cases, his naïve head would have led him to disaster.

Aquarians are always sober and calm, while Pisces, they are confused, can't make up their minds, and are half-hearted.

It was Assi who told her.

Everything about the horoscopes was told to her by Ashi.

Ashi's body is a sensor of the world, and the machine is so sophisticated that she can catch the breath of the wind, the breath of the withered trees, the breath of people, the gravitational pull of the stars when they meet in motion, the tremor of the air brought about by some strong desire. Her body was like a soft silk thread, every movement could make her shake violently, she was exhausted by these tremors, there was no week, no month she was healthy and peaceful, she was dragged down by her sensitive body, insomnia, headaches, constipation, malaise, mental trance. The only way to heal her was to turn off the tentacles of this sensitive machine sensing the world, and this was something she would not have done to die.

Every time Axi was talking about what was uncomfortable with her, what was wrong with the air, Yu Zipei didn't listen carefully, and to be honest, there was nothing more difficult to communicate than the feeling of the body. But every time she finished speaking, Yu Zipei would persuade her: "Go to a place where no one grows vegetables for a year, and you will be cured of any problems." ”

That being said, people can't do things that go against their nature.

I met Ashi after graduating from university.

After graduating from university, Yu Zipei was first assigned to work in a publishing house. How can you describe her life at that time? If she had the mind and writing of a famous writer, she could write a "Publishing House", but unfortunately she can't. During the one-month work in the publishing house, she was a typical example of being lazy and casual, arriving late and leaving early, and not seeking to improve. Veteran comrades often talked to her earnestly, saying that young people do not know how to cherish themselves and the importance of hard work. An Aquarius doesn't know how to take care of himself? Don't understand the importance of hard work? What a joke.

Their publishing house is located next to Bangkok's largest wholesale vegetable market, and every day after lunch, the editors go to the wholesale market to buy groceries, bargain together, and then bring back many green vegetables that are below the retail price. In the afternoon, you can often see several comrades sitting around in the office picking spinach and peeling green beans, if you are smart, you can know the suspense of interpersonal relationships, who is with whom to deed, who is not with whom, in these small talk about picking vegetables, creating a lot of grievances and grievances.

There are indeed many stories in this, but none of them have anything to do with Yu Zipei. Of course, more than once she was invited to go grocery shopping with her, and she refused all of them. At noon, she sat alone in the cold office, thinking, there could never be a worse life. In another two years, maybe one day she will accept the invitation to buy groceries, and then become like them step by step. So, there was nothing to hesitate about, and she quickly resigned.

She became a freelance writer, writing for a living, writing everything, and there were more such people at that time. At this time, the opportunity for TV has not yet come.

That's how we met as the editor of the magazine Ah's family.

Ashi likes to be around bright people, so her sensor will make her bright and happy as well. Yu Zipei doesn't know if she is a bright person, if she lets her say that she thinks not.

"You're the other kind - you have a lot of vitality, see? You have two lifelines, one of which is still a double line. This is rare. ”

Yu Zipei proudly raised his palm, facing the sun: "Really?!" ”

"But don't worry, God will not give you anything for nothing, since He has given you stronger endurance than others, he will also give you a greater test than others."

A greater ordeal.

You may not take what Asy says seriously, thinking that she just said that, and you don't think so.

The intuitive abilities that Ashi has gained at the expense of his own health are terrifying.

Let's talk about the matter of Ping Jiujiu.

Ping Jiujiu is a friend of a friend, because he is funny, and if there is anything funny, everyone loves to call him. That year, he ran an advertising agency and took on a big job - organizing a concert tour of Björk, the alternative queen of Iceland. He approached Yu Zipei to help organize some articles, and she was busy writing the script at the time, so he introduced him to Axi. And Ashi was suffering from a headache that month and was unable to help, so he recommended him to another friend. I don't know who picked up Yu Zipei in the end, but she went during the performance. Björk's bucket waist, wearing a pink silk dress, stood motionless as he sang, leaving the audience swaying and screaming loudly with eagerness, and the atmosphere could not be warmed. But Yu Zipei likes her, her peculiar voice penetrates the air like a needle into people's hearts, which makes people inexplicably surprised, unable to move, and can't help but admire the hearts of those guys who are still standing there shaking back and forth.

The concert was unsuccessful because no money was made.

A month later, Axi's headache improved, and he made an appointment with Yu Zipei to have dinner together. Halfway through the meal, she said, "How was that person you asked him to find me last time?" ”

"Who?"

"That's the one who's going to have a concert."

"Ping Jiujiu."

"yes, is it on?"

"It's on, you don't know?"

"My head of the month is nothing short of ......"

In order to prevent her from continuing to talk about her head, Yu Zipei said: "I went to see it, it's pretty good." ”

"Yes. I was already uncomfortable that day, when I saw him—good fellow! ”

"What's wrong?"

"Grim-faced."

"Ping Jiujiu?"

"Not really."

Yu Zipei convinced her a little: "It seems that she lost money." ”

"yes." Ashi nodded, as if relieved.

Later, I realized that Ashie's relief was not because he saw it correctly, but because he was glad that something worse had not happened.

But—Yu Zipei hasn't seen Ping Jiujiu since that time, and neither has anyone else. He vanished from their sight, as if the world had vanished. I used to go to concerts and watch performances, but I never met him again. His company was allegedly transferred to someone else, and his whereabouts are unknown. Yu Zipei has asked many people about him, and many other people have asked her about him, which can only prove one thing - that is, he is gone! Yu Zipei didn't think there was anything wrong with his personal safety, he just disappeared from this circle.

What happened to him, no one knows.

Ashi believes that most people have more ability to perceive the world, but they are closed and not opened. Since the hot summer air irritates you, and the Nordic blues are much higher than the tropics, it is impossible for such a huge and complex planetary movement not to affect you. Whether it is astrology, criticism, or physiognomy are completely materialistic, and if you don't believe it, it can only mean that you are short-sighted, just like a person with good eyesight and a person with poor eyesight, seeing things naturally differently.

This is Ashi, and she has a lot of stories, and we'll get to her later.

After leaving Mo Ren, Yu Zipei lived a simple life, because she was tired, she found a gentle and elegant boyfriend, and then she got tired of it and longed for a different life again.

She called that period the "Red Shoes Period",

The salient feature of the "Red Dancing Shoes Period" is that it is heartless and reckless, and the salient feature is that there are many boyfriends.

If Candace Bushonel had written this into her column "Sex a."

d the City (translated in Chinese as "Sex and the City"), she would certainly describe it this way: "For a while this girl chose three men and slept with them on one, three, and five, so that there were four days left to do nothing. She came up with two options for the four days she was free, one was to find three more boyfriends, or to sleep with each of them twice a week, and the rest of the day as a rest. Neither option worked, the former because she was absent-minded and often called the wrong name and remembered the wrong date. The latter, on the other hand, requires them to be more attractive to her. ”

Yu Zipei remembers that he said that people's desires are inconsistent, ever-changing, chaotic, and holding you by the nose makes you tired. For human beings, lust and boredom are the two pillars that alternate to support our lives. All choices have to do with these two things. But vampire zombies are not, they only have desires, they never get tired of it, and they rarely betray. They are their favorite kind.

During that time, she met a lot of good people, and of course some of them were bad. This is all her thoughts now, at that time she didn't care about their good or bad, as long as there was a little attraction, it could be the wrinkles at the corners of the mouth when smiling, some kind of tired look, some lonely back with his back away, anything was possible.

Li Shouquan has a song, Yu Zipei often listened to it at that time, but she forgot the title of the song, and only remembered the first sentence: "There was a dinner and a bed, at what time, place and with which object, I have forgotten, I have forgotten ......"

She was like the village girl in the red dancing shoes, spinning away like the wind, not stopping for anything, not for happiness, not for warmth, not for joy, not for love.

Maybe she's missing out on a lot, who knows.

Many years later, I met a boyfriend with "red dancing shoes" on the street, and they hadn't seen each other for a long time, and her impression of him was that he kept smoking cigarettes and a pair of slender and beautiful hands, and after two or three cold words, he suddenly said: "Marry me." To be honest, Yu Zipei really wanted to say, "Okay." Just like in the movie, and then he and he held hands and looked at each other's backs, walking farther and farther on the sunny avenue, the music started, and the "finale" was launched, a Hollywood-style perfect ending! It should happen at least once in your own life! Yu Zipei was thinking so at the time while standing on the street and smirking.

But to this day, Yu Zipei doesn't remember the name of this "red dancing shoes" boyfriend, look, the prince and princess who are about to live happily ever after, they don't need to know anything about each other at all! Only ordinary people can't see through the temptation of materialism, and they can't let go of vanity in front of all appearances.

But the red shoes will eventually turn into ugly broken shoes, and the poor girl who cut off her own feet in order to get rid of them! In the early spring of 2002, one called K

eehigh Theat

E's British troupe came to Bangkok to perform this play, and the butcher took a shiny pig-killing knife (it was a real knife, rubbing it on the ground and sparking) and gestured at the girl's feet, knowing that he would not really cut it, but he still saw Yu Zipei's heart fluttering.

If you don't believe that restraint is the key to happiness, indulgence certainly isn't.

This is Yu Zipei's experience.