When the love is intense, Bai Ruyan will suddenly scream, like a kitten screaming in pain when it is suddenly hurt and torn.

There is sweetness and tenderness in the pain.

Qin Wuji suddenly said, let's get married.

Bai Ruyan looked up at him with a plain white face, his eyes were bright and slightly surprised. Then she smiled softly, no kidding.

That year, Qin Wuji was thirty-five years old, had worked for ten years, and had a wife who was about to leave and a child by his side. They are alumni of the same class in the university, they have been married for eight years, and they have been divided and reconciled, but they still haven't come together.

But at this time, he met Bai Ruyan, a seventeen-year-old girl, who had just graduated from a medical secondary school, like a freshly opened flower, charming and shy blooming with pure white petals, fragrant and attractive.

She looked so innocent in the past, Qin Wuji said, I want to take good care of you.

But what will you do to take care of me? Bai Ruyan asked him with a smile.

I'll take my love.

Hehe, she laughed again, seemed happy, and didn't seem to believe his words.

Three years from now, when you are twenty years old, I will definitely fulfill my vows, like smoke, please wait for me.

Six months later, their affairs were finally known to his wife, and Qin Wuji and his wife began to argue again. They occasionally argued, and although they always ended up being reconciled, this time he suddenly felt a fear, a fear that they were going to break up and not be able to stay together.

He said, like smoke, I really don't know what to do, maybe it's until I'm about to lose it that I don't know how to cherish it.

If you say this to me, it means that you already have the answer. Ruyan tried to calm her expression.

He went on to say, "Like smoke, my wife and I have been together for eight years, and although responsibility has replaced affection, we may still have to divorce in the future."

I know, then you can figure it out yourself. Ruyan nodded sensibly. Please take good care of me and don't leave me.

Like smoke, I actually really want to take care of you for the rest of my life. He suddenly pulled Bai Ruyan into his arms and hugged him tightly.

If you can't do it, don't give promises randomly, I want it, you can't afford it. She gently pushed him away, I'm going to leave you.

Don't, like smoke. He went to hug her again. She struggled only slightly, and then snuggled meekly into his chest.

In the morning, Qin Wuji was suddenly awakened by a nightmare, and reached out to touch it, only to find that there was nothing around him.

The clothes were drying on the balcony.

Millet porridge and fried eggs were placed on the table, and they were steaming.

The wooden floor is freshly wiped from a rag.

There were also cigarette butts she had extinguished last night in the ashtray on the floor.

The smell of her perfume lingered in the room. Her body temperature was rare on the bed. But Bai Ruyan's whereabouts are unknown.

He called her on his cell phone and turned it off.

Then it was found that there was an unopened message, and the number was hers.

"The concubine is rootless grass, lingering and supporting the body. Knowing the gentleman less rain and dew, and tears are self-irrigating. ”

Tears welled up in his eyes.

Of course, this did not change any of Qin Wuji's decisions. Although he has been trying to contact Bai Ruyan, she does not give him any messages, and the mobile phone is turned off for a long time and does not reply to messages. Or, she has changed her mobile phone number, or she is no longer in the city.

The spring of the second year finally came, there was a gradually warm spring breeze in the air, looking at the crowd around her, the happy crowd in love, Mrs. finally agreed to reconcile with Qin Wuji. After several years of relationship, both of them have too much reluctance and concern. Qin Wuji also began to save money, preparing to settle down with his wife in this peaceful and atmospheric city in the future, and his life began to have a purpose.

The two originally decided to prepare for a second child on May Day. One day at the end of April, Qin Wuji asked his wife why he married me.

Because I was tired and wanted to get married, Mrs. couldn't hide her worldly eyes with a tired face, and it happened to be appropriate to know you for so long.

You don't love me? He was surprised.

Don't ask such sentimental words. She withdrew her gaze faintly.

A few days later he decided to leave his wife, the woman with whom he had decided to spend his life.

You are a man who is too weak and escapist. At the time of the divorce, Mrs. said that there was no sadness in her eyes, but she just said casually, I saw the wrong person, then I will marry someone else, who do you love?

Yes, he is indeed a cowardly man who escapes reality and cannot face his life and feelings head-on.

Qin Wuji stuffed himself in his room all day long, smoking, drinking beer, cooking instant noodles and eating biscuits, and didn't shave for several days. By that time he had quit his job, had nothing to do, and lost his soul.

This was true all summer long.

When he was bored, he took his mobile phone to check the phone book, looking for women who had any previous ambiguous relationships, and he dialed them one by one with a few numbers.

His first words were, "I don't have anything now, would you like to come back to me?"

There was a man who said, "Who are you?" The second said: Neuropathy! Another person was stunned and said: I am about to become a mother of children. The other didn't say anything. Without exception, they all quickly hung up.

In the end, he flipped to Bai Ruyan's number, and when he dialed it, he thought she wouldn't be there, but he didn't expect it to be turned on, and she answered the phone after ringing twice. Hello. She said.

Finally dialed the phone, but I don't know where to start, he was silent for a while before saying, I don't have anything now, would you like to return to me?

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while, and then Qin Wuji heard Bai Ruyan say, I have never forgotten the three-year covenant between us.

White as smoke has always been in another corner of the city.

Now she's back with him.

At that time, it was already the dry season, and the fallen leaves of the sycamore trees in the streets and alleys were flying all over the sky, and her appearance looked a little vicissitudes in the past, and her face was even paler. She cooks for him, helps him reorganize his life, and tells him to go back to work.

He finally began to become less decadent, he said, Ruyan, I'm sorry I was wrong before, I want to take you back to my hometown, live with my mother, we get married, and live a peaceful and happy life, okay?

Ruyan looked at him with a smile, without any superfluous words, she just looked at him with a smile.

Before the rainy season came, Qin Wuji returned to his hometown with Ruyan, and his savings and his mother's financial support were enough to buy a house in the urban area of a small city. They live together.

A marriage in substance.

He goes out to work, where the consumption level is not high, and she can rest assured that she does housework at home without going out to work.

If you feel bored or lonely, you can write, read a book, or surf the Internet. He said, I just want to take good care of you.

But Bai Ruyan insisted on going out to work, she found a job in the train station, working during the day, very leisurely, mainly responsible for accepting refunds and exchanges from passengers. She can read a book in the office or go to the platform when she's not busy to watch people come and go. They looked hurried, she leaned against the pillar and smoked, sometimes bursting into tears for no apparent reason.

Bai Ruyan didn't believe in her relationship with Qin Wuji so much at that time, although she still had a trace of love for him. She still doesn't seem to be free, she still seems to be lonely.

This year's Spring Festival was spent at Qin Wuji's parents' house.

Bai Ruyan is a very docile and well-behaved girl, with gentle and indifferent eyes when she smiles at people. Qin Wuji's mother didn't know why she was very polite to her, but she didn't feel close. There seemed to be too much hidden behind the girl's smile for them to know.

It's like she never told Qin Wuji what she had experienced in the year she left him, and she never asked him what he had done in the year. She gave him as much space as she asked for him.

She didn't have any questions about Qin Wuji sometimes going home in the middle of the night on weekdays. She always woke up by him and said, "You're back, it's midnight."

Yes, Qin Wuji began to return late at some times. Although he didn't do anything deviant. But he began to linger outside, sometimes singing with friends, sometimes drinking in bars. I wanted to make up some excuses, but I didn't expect Ruyan to ask him, at most, to help him cover the quilt and tell him not to drink so much in the future.

Bai Ruyan smoked very hard all the time, one after another, so he coughed very badly, and his teeth were yellow, and his voice was hoarse. But she never wanted Qin Wuji to care. It's my own business, she said.

Qin Wuji almost felt disappointed, didn't Bai Ruyan love himself? Or do you love yourself too much and don't dare to care about yourself?

Qin Wuji went home after getting drunk again. The house was empty.

Like smoke, like smoke, smoke...... He called, and slowly fell asleep.

…… In the fog, someone covered himself with a quilt, and the gentle movements, the familiar figure, were like smoke. Qin Wuji woke up and grabbed her, where did you go just now, why did you come back so late, like smoke, don't run around in the future, I can't see that you will be worried.

Then I don't worry if I can't see you. She smiled softly, her face still distressingly pale.

I'm sorry, I know I was wrong, forgive me. But you've been with me for two years, and you know I'm going to marry you in the future. We agreed to get married after three years together.

I know. Her calm smile was calm, without any deliberate inhibition.

Qin Wuji went home every day after work, and he could always see Bai Ruyan busy in the kitchen.

He crept over and suddenly hugged her from behind, kissing her on the lips and hair fervently......

Sometimes he refuses to let go of her even when the vegetables are pasted, such a gentle girl who has been with him for so long is still wholeheartedly good to him.

How could he not love her? How can you not hurt her?

He was ready to get married, and he thought it would be true this time. His colleagues congratulated him, but his buddies told him that marriage was not free, and it was better to be single. Qin Wuji's determination had already been made, so he just smiled and didn't say much.

The buddies also said that they would have fun while they were not married, and they would not be so comfortable at night when they got married in the future, and they couldn't go out to play often. Qin Wuji thought that what he said made sense, so he occasionally went out to clubbing at night.

Of course, every time he goes out now, he will explain his whereabouts to Ruyan.

That day, Qin Wuji went to the bar alone, listening to the sometimes sad and sometimes happy singing, looking at the handsome guys and beauties coming and going, they had bright appearances and empty and lonely souls.

Suddenly, he saw a woman at the bar.

She sat there alone, her long hair hanging over her shoulders, a cigarette between her fingers, and from the side of her face she had a proud white face, plain without any makeup. She's alone, she's like smoke.

He almost escaped from the bar room in a hurry.

Qin Wuji and Bai Ruyan returned home with their front and back feet. The light in the living room didn't turn on, and he stopped her.

How? She looked at him.

I saw you at the bar today.

I know.

Did you see me too? He was slightly surprised.

Yes.

You're alone.

You're also alone.

In the dark room, they looked at each other, their eyes were the same bright, their words were the same confession, and their breathing was the same rapid.

Even loneliness is the same.

I truly love you. Qin Wuji's voice lowered, and he stretched out his hand to hug Bai Ruyan.

But she broke free, and I was in despair. She chuckled at him calmly, a look of disdain. Because my feelings are crippled.

At the beginning, he said to the seventeen-year-old, "Let's get married." She loved him very much.

Later, he said to the eighteen-year-old and said, "Will you come back to me?" She still has a little like him.

Now he said to the nineteen-year-old, I really love you. Her love is gone.

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