Chu Yang originally thought that he would no longer waste his life for that little thing under his buttocks, and he could face the world with a normal mentality.

But.

Even the trivial matter of taking materials is very disgusting, and Huang Weixing's face is still stimulated to Chu Yang's heart.

My cultivation will never reach the realm where my heart is like stopping water, and my heart still has a kind of blazing fire for this right, and this desire cannot be suppressed, which makes me very moved.

That's what I used to be.

I grass.

Chu Yang had a deeper understanding of himself again, and he thought that he didn't care much, but it seemed that he was not wronged by this fall.

Young and frivolous, floating a little.

It is very comfortable to be comfortable in the plane class, arrange flowers, drink tea and flirt with Li Xiaomei, it is very suitable for the elderly, but Chu Yang is only 26 years old, and the level of seven times a night, just one Li Xiaomei on the plane flight is enough to stuff his teeth.

So it feels like a bit of a waste here.

And Chu Yang was disheartened, and he didn't want to work hard for Mr. Xie anymore.

The incident of the hydropower station shows that he himself acquiesced, but he deliberately ignored it and brought out the mess.

He actually regarded himself as a chess piece, so he didn't think about any monarchy and courtiers, Chu Yang had to think of Uncle Huang's words, since he had no way to go in Butai, then he should also leave this sad place and go to the city.

Chu Yang should have gone a long time ago, he didn't agree to Zhiying at the beginning, many times because of his weakness, he didn't want to get out of his comfort zone, but now that his comfort zone is gone, he has to go out.

But how to get there, this one is a big question.

Yesterday Saturday, in fact, Chu Yang also went to Uncle Huang's house for dinner, and the whole process was still the same, Huang Ling's girl grew up a lot, and the study pressure of the second year of high school did not crush her development.

But I didn't have the courage to tell Uncle Huang what was going on with me now.

I don't know what I'm hesitating about, what I'm afraid of, and I can't understand it anyway.

This may be the weakness of men.

On Sunday morning, while she was still sleeping in her dormitory, Zhiying called and said she had arrived downstairs in her dormitory.

Chu Yang was a little surprised, he didn't expect her to come, and after struggling for a long time, he still chose to see her very sloppily.

Zhiying wore her best-looking pink dress, with a white belt around her waist, and the white belt wrapped around her waist was like the golden ratio line of her body, dividing her upper and lower parts.

The upper body is round and full, and the lower body is tall and slender.

From a distance, it looks like a fairy, slim and elegant.

Chu Yang got closer, only to find that her eyes were red and her delicate body was trembling.

"Why are you here?"

Chu Yang wanted to touch her head, but he couldn't help it, not knowing why the two had a sense of distance.

"Chu Yang, are you okay?"

Zhiying was a little sad, because Chu Yang didn't hug her, and Chu Yang pounced on her as soon as he saw her before.

"I'm fine, don't worry." Chu Yang finally touched her hand.

"He said he was okay, come with me." Zhiying came over and grabbed Chu Yang's hand and leaned her body against Chu Yang.

Chu Yang smelled the breath on her body, he was very intoxicated, and at first he was in pain, thinking of the group of people behind her Li family, it was very uncomfortable.

The two walked together to a nearby park and sat on a small bench.

The bench is cool and the ass is comfortable.

"Chu Yang, I really don't care what position you have."

"But I care, my mother cares, your father cares, your cousin cares, your aunt cares, don't I." Chu Yang replied in one breath.

"They're not me."

"But you can't live without them."

"So you're going to break up with me?" Zhiying's eyes were red.

"It's been three years, I haven't done it, it's my problem." Chu Yang doesn't know what to do, is letting go also called love?

"Chu Yang, what kind of person am I in your heart." Zhi Ying looked at Chu Yang deadly, and there was a pain in her heart.

"Immaculate girl, good-looking, intellectual, good conditions at home, everything is fine." Chu Yang blurted out.

"I'm not perfect, I'm like any other little girl, I think about each other, I have gains and losses, and I'm fragile and just want a sweet love." Li Zhiying has always been too cautious about love.

"Zhiying, I'm sorry, I disappointed you, I thought I could meet your parents' request, but it's still too true."

"Chu Yang, are you willing to come to the city company, are you okay to come, I'll beg my mother."

"I don't need your mother to pity me." Chu Yang was going to the city company, but he couldn't go through her mother.

Men's self-esteem does not allow themselves to do this.

Zhiying left, with disappointment.

Chu Yang eaten, did not go back to the dormitory, and did not want to go back, for fear of loneliness, but kept walking on the streets, without purpose, just hanging out, in the time when he was the director of the office, he rarely had such leisure.

Generally, he either followed Mr. Xie to socialize, or worked overtime in the office to review the manuscript.

Today is a rare day.

When I first came to Butai City, I still felt that this place had few industries and a small place, but the air was good and the people were kind.

Now it seems to have changed, there are more people, more cars, more hotels, and more bars, and there is a slightly drunken smell in the air, some people say that this is fireworks, but in Chu Yang's eyes now, this is the smell of rot.

Every progress of civilization is indeed an expansion of desire, which may have been just food and clothing before, but now it has reached sex and desire.

The world is changing all the time.

Time is the biggest driving force for everything.

Women are one of the biggest factors in everything that changes.

Unconsciously, it changes everything, changes the city, and changes people, what they couldn't achieve in their previous life, is it still the same fate in this life, is life already predestined?

Unknowingly, Chu Yang walked to a small alley, this side was surprisingly quiet, there were a few people, looked around left and right, saw a few crosses, and what words like "Allah", and a few abstract Western oil paintings.

After a closer look, I finally found that this side was still a Christian church.

Something.

Chu Yang really didn't expect that there would be such a place in this small city, it could be seen that this church had declined, the facilities were dilapidated, and he didn't know how to maintain it, Chu Yang was a little curious, so he walked in and saw a woman wearing a black headscarf praying with her hands folded.

I don't know if it's the owner of this church.

She was very religious, and her mouth was full of words: "O God, please give me peace of mind, accept what I cannot change, give me courage to do what I can change, give me wisdom, discern the difference between the two, do not worry about tomorrow, enjoy every moment, see suffering as the only way to success, and use frustration as a whetstone to hone your will."

Just such a passage is a bit like chicken soup, but Chu Yang is fascinated by it.

If you think of suffering as the only way to success, and frustration as a whetstone to hone your will, if you are very philosophical, you can't imagine that this Christianity can say such profound words.

Although I don't believe it.

After a while, the woman put down her headscarf and walked out, it turned out to be a bald head, her face was very white, and she was very good-looking, her expression was very calm and peaceful, she saw Chu Yang, and spit out softly: "Are you also here to ask the Lord?" ”

Chu Yang hurriedly waved his hand and replied, "No, I'm passing by." ”

The woman showed a calming smile: "If there is anything, you can tell the Lord, and the Lord will take care of you." ”

Chu Yang has only one faith in his heart, which is unshakable, but he will not say that he has any contempt for other beliefs, and the last time he went to Buddhism with Uncle Huang, he also felt a little gained, so he still replied very respectfully: "I am not a faithful believer." ”

The woman didn't care, and said: "You have come here, which means that you have a fate with the Lord." ”

"I don't believe in fate." Chu Yang felt ridiculous in his heart, do you still want to influence me?

The woman was not in a hurry: "Are you unhappy?" ”

Chu Yang: "Everyone is unhappy. ”

The woman looked up at the Lord: "In fact, all people are miserable, and they all need a myth, in which people will be invincible and can defeat all evil, and this myth is the Lord." ”

Chu Yang didn't expect that she really wanted to develop herself into a believer, and she didn't know if this guy had a task, so she could only answer: "A person lives in this world, he is his own master, and he is the only source of meaning." ”

Unexpectedly, Chu Yang would also discuss philosophy with a Christian believer.

Chu Yang didn't expect that he would say this sentence that he didn't even believe.

The woman was still not in a hurry: "If people can really dominate themselves, then there will not be so many people who die unexpectedly, live in pain, people are too fragile, it is so fragile that it is difficult to guarantee their own survival, people need to go to the space outside their own existence to find the basis for living, and the Lord is our basis in this world." ”

"You're poisonous." This woman's voice had a kind of magic, and a few words made a mess of Chu Yang's firm Dao heart, Chu Yang couldn't stand it, so he quickly ran away, and ran out of the entire alley.

But this voice is like coming from my own heart, and it has never been able to be eliminated or verified.

Chu Yang ran a few steps and turned back, but found that even the lights on Christianity had been extinguished.

The woman was never found again.

As if it never existed.

Chu Yang was glad that he ran fast, otherwise he might have stayed in it forever.

To live in pity and pathos, in vanity and emptiness.

I have to make an effective connection to reality.

It can't go on like this.

So Chu Yang decided to kill all his past selves, to lower his head again, to start all over again, and to give a slap in the face to those who looked down on him.

The goal is also clear.

The first step is to go to the city, go there to occupy a pit, only in the city, can you make a comeback.

PS: Christians, don't have a strong sense of substitution, all.

(End of chapter)