At first, Ou Suying was in good shape, but at the beginning of the second course of treatment, Ou Suying's reaction to the drug became very violent. Nausea, vomiting, anorexia, mouth ulcers, dry and flaky skin. After stopping the drug for 13 days, Ou Suying finally had the strength to get up from the bed and struggled to go to the bathroom by herself.

Looking at the ghost-like person in the mirror, Ou Suying once again asked herself, "Is it really good to be alive?" ”

For as long as I can remember, I don't know who my parents are. Living with a group of children in the Changshui Orphanage, many of whom had no one to adopt because of their physical disabilities or intellectual problems. He and Qingqing are 'better quality' children, Qingqing was adopted, and I heard that he went to Sichuan. But I was returned to the orphanage twice. I don't know why new parents don't like me, I'm obviously very well-behaved and obedient.

Later, I was reluctant to be adopted again, and the director, Hu Changshui, was a kind grandfather, who obeyed my wishes and did not let me leave the orphanage again. It wasn't until I grew up that I was admitted to the Sichuan ** Drama Academy, graduated from work-study, and came to Shanghai. Life has only gotten better, but only for a few months.

I've been tormented for three months, and if my treatment is good, there will be about half a year of treatment, but the way I am now, the doctor doesn't say, I also know that my treatment is not good.

Ou Suying spat blood out, and the nurse handed over mouthwash, "Eat more vegetables, mouth ulcers will be fine." ”

With a sore throat, Ou Suying didn't want to reply.

Qingqing hasn't come to see me for more than a month, Brother He never replies to my messages, and Grandpa Hu's phone can't get through. Ou Suying thought about this, and her heart became even more sad.

"Xiao Ou, you are not an abandoned child, you are the little angel sent to me by God, bringing me happiness. In the future, when you grow up, you will become an archangel and bring help and happiness to many people. Ou Suying recalled what the dean's grandfather said to him when he was a child.

At that time, Ou Suying didn't know what an angel was, only that her adoptive parents didn't want her anymore, she was abandoned again, and she was a child who was not liked.

Grandpa Dean comforted Ou Suying, "You have to grow up quickly, you can take care of yourself when you grow up, you don't need others, and you won't be so sad." Little puppet, what are you going to do when you grow up? ”

"I, I, I, I want to be Grandpa Hu when I grow up, I want to be the boss of our orphanage."

"Oh! It's great, you want to take care of many, many little angels like me, don't you? ”

"I want to eat a big plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes by myself." Xiao Ou Suying thought of her favorite tomato scrambled eggs made in the cafeteria every Tuesday, and Aunt Ma only served one spoonful for herself, but the dean's grandfather was a plate of tomato scrambled eggs. Every time the dean's grandfather eats, it is a plate of dishes, and the children need to eat on the plate, a spoonful of vegetarian dishes, a spoonful of vegetables with meat, a spoonful of rice, if they don't finish eating, they will be punished, and even Aunt Liu will pinch the meat on the child's waist to punish, which is very painful.

Dean Hu Changshui heard this, and laughed, Ou Suying ate a plate of tomato scrambled eggs that day.

"Aunt nurse, let's scramble some tomato scrambled eggs later." Ou Suying said hoarsely.

"Okay," the nurse agreed.

The nurse went to the kitchen to get busy, and Ou Suying walked a few steps in the room alone, and then sat down weakly to rest. The phone next to the pillow was black, and there was still no reply.

Ou Suying took her mobile phone, sat on the balcony to bask in the sun, and turned on the live broadcast.

【Untitled】

On the first floor, I was the first.

Hurry up, the little puppet has started the live broadcast.

Who is this? What about the puppets?

This person's makeup is so ugly!

I haven't seen a puppet for three or four months.

The little puppet comes out quickly~

This hat is too tasteless, isn't it?

What kind of lipstick is this? DIOR #781 Enigmatic?

It's funny upstairs, this is the worst time Dior has been hacked

······

Although it is not as popular as before, there are hundreds of people watching it, and the comment area is very lively.

Ou Suying looked at the scrolling comment area, endured the pain and said hoarsely, "I'm a little puppet." ”

Devil!

Ugly!

Die!

Monster!

······

The bad comments drove Ou Suying crazy. Ou Suying turned off the live broadcast and cried, but she couldn't cry loudly, her throat would hurt. Snot flowed incessantly, and tissues were thrown all over the balcony.

Ding Ding Ding ~

I received a message from Qingqing on WeChat, "Little puppet, I am inspecting Lugu Lake, the scenery here is very beautiful, and our company plans to build a resort here." When you're recovered, we'll come over and play together. ”

"This is the marriage bridge of the Mosuo people"

"This goddess mountain, you don't look like a woman lying down, this is the head, this chest."

"This pasture is beautiful, now in winter, these wild ducks flew from Siberia to spend the winter, amazing, so far away."

Ou Suying looked at the pictures sent by Qingqing, the long bridge of black wood, the water and the grass growing, the green and yellow grassland, the wild ducks playing, the undulating mountains, the blue sky and white clouds.

"It's so good-looking" Ou Suying replied and threw the phone away.

Squinted and glimpsed that the phone was lit up, and I hadn't heard the call ringing for a long time, He Han.

Does he know I watched the live stream? Ou Suying imagined He Han's irritable appearance, and he didn't want to hear He Han's voice at this time.

The next day, the fourth course of treatment began. Ou Suying sat on the bed in a hospital gown. The nurse came to start the medication around 6 p.m. and is now refilling.

"The director of Sichuan Changshui Orphanage passed away"

Ou Suying saw the news push message popping up on her mobile phone, and started the news in a blank space in her mind.

Grandpa Hu, Grandpa Hu, gone?

I didn't even see him.

Ou Suying was stunned, numb and walking slowly.

Although it is the southernmost city in China, it is still a little cool in winter. Ou Suying, who was crying in the wind on the top floor, shivered and came to his senses.

This is the roof, the 50th floor, and the people downstairs look like ants.

He Chunhong on the overpass is so beautiful.

A thought popped into my head.

Ou Suying started the live broadcast.

【Jump or not】

In just two minutes, 20,000 people watched the live broadcast.

Scold!

I'm still so popular.

Monsters like me.

"I'm a puppet. Oh, I can see you scolding me. There are so many people who hate me. Look here, the rooftop, the 50th floor, jump here and you'll die. I start a vote, jump or not, if there are more people who let me jump, I will jump, if more people want me to live, then I will endure it a little longer, maybe I really live? ”

After several months of treatment, Ou Suying no longer had the initial firmness, but became more and more afraid, afraid of drugs, afraid of loneliness, afraid of living.

This remark blew up the Internet.

Lie!

Have the courage to jump?

put on a show, and when I was hospitalized, I put on a show.

Oh, little puppet, don't think about it, go back to the ward, how cold is the roof?

Little puppet, I'll brush you a big yacht, you jump.

······

"Why did you all let me jump? If I jump, you guys are murderers. ”

"Ten minutes, voting closes." Ou Suying smiled weirdly, sat on the edge, and put her feet on it.

The live broadcast quickly alarmed the hospital and the police, and the live broadcast was blocked. Downstairs gathered a dense crowd of do-gooders. The firefighters came to the roof of the building and slowly tried to get closer to Ou Suying.

"Ahem, ahem, don't come here."

"Miss Ou, listen to me, don't look down, sit there and don't move, I'll pull you over."

"Oh, you're afraid I'm going to jump, aren't you? I haven't seen the results of the vote yet. ”

"Miss Ou, you are still young, you are an excellent artist, you are very promising, you don't have to think about it at all. Miss Ou, I am a fan of yours and I like you very much. I hope you'll be stronger. The firefighter earnestly admonished Ou Suying, who was sitting on the side.

"I haven't figured it out yet, don't come here." Ou Suying was disheartened and looked at the vacant feet with some despair.

Jump or not，Jump or not，Jump or not。

Ahhhh

Ou Suying just wanted to stand up, his feet slipped, and the whole person fell out, and when he saw the firefighter's empty hand, Ou Suying closed his eyes.

So be it!

And so it ends!

Just stop everything!

If there is an afterlife, I wish I also had my own home and was with the people who loved me.

The wind in my ears blew fiercely for a long time.

The imaginary pain never came.

When jumping down, time slows down. Ou Suying has been bungee jumping, but when she is bungee jumping, she is nervous and excited, and at this time she gives up.

Suddenly numb all over his body, Ou Suying instinctively broke open his eyes, and he seemed to have fallen into a huge circle of light.

Suddenly, it was as if I had bumped into something soft.

Before he came to his senses, he was planted in the water, choking on his mouth and nose. Out of survival instinct, Ou Suying struggled, as if someone had fallen into the water with him. Is this a human hand?

Where did you get so much water downstairs?

Ou Suying fluttered for a moment, losing consciousness in the water.