In many cases, we can be relieved of our enemies, and we will repay them quickly.

There is an old Chinese saying called

"It is better to settle the grievances than to settle them", which is what it means. A few years ago, I heard a story about a place in a certain rural area, after the responsible fields were distributed to each household, because of the problem of water use, which caused a fight between two surnames in the village.

At that time, because a certain surname was a small surname in this village and there were few people, he suffered a loss and was injured. Unconvinced, they went to the neighboring township to bring reinforcements, preparing to avenge the wounded brothers with the same surname.

At this time, a demobilized soldier saw this situation and knew that if this development continued, it would be time for revenge to be revenged, so he boldly stood up and persuaded the villagers with the same surname to be restrained

"Forbearance". He analyzed the causes of this fight in detail, described the various evil consequences that might occur if it developed, and the disadvantages to the villagers with his own surname.

After his patient persuasion, as well as the mediation of other aspects of the township, the villagers with a certain surname finally ...

"Withheld" so that an imminent bloodshed could be averted. Obviously, such a kind

"Resolving revenge" is actually trying to reconcile the two sides at the cost of one's own sacrifice. Unleash your enmity and turn your enemies into friends.

In modern society, varying degrees

"Hatred" often arises due to improper regulation and handling of various contradictions and relationships. And because of these various

"Hatred" is a factor that causes social instability and puts individuals in an extremely bad external and psychological environment.

Therefore, although the release of revenge must come at the cost of some kind of sacrifice of one's own, the personal benefit in exchange for it is greater.

This is too

The value of "forbearance". Self-denial and forbearance is also the intention of restraining oneself and forbearance with others. In social interactions, people will inevitably have all kinds of contradictions and conflicts, and in this case, if they do not tolerate each other, they will inevitably intensify the contradictions, escalate the conflicts, and aggravate the confrontation between the two sides.

Even if one side relies on power or force to overwhelm the other, it can only lead to a situation of overwhelm or convincing.

And the smart way should be self-denial and forbearance, be polite to the other party, and let the facts come

"Confess" yourself, once you do this, your high style will inevitably arouse the other party's shame, and sincerely admire your measurement from the bottom of your heart, so that you will be able to turn hostility into jade silk, turn enemies into friends, and you will not only not lose your reputation, but also gain sincere supporters.

Colleagues inevitably help each other, but some people tend to be very utilitarian when interacting with others.

You are useful to him, you can help him solve problems, or you have certain relationships that he can take advantage of, and so on, so that he relates with you.

When we know that a colleague has this motive in our dealings with us to try to take advantage of ourselves, should we still associate with him?

Generally speaking, you don't have to break off your relationship with someone because you notice this motive. Because, you can't demand interaction and mutual relationship between colleagues by the standard of a friend.

Co-workers are always limited and can't be too close. It cannot be based on common interests, aspirations, and mutual trust, as friends do, nor can it be absolutely pure.

So, you can't expect too much from this kind of relationship, and don't expect too much of a friend's affection in it.

Therefore, even if you find out that someone is trying to take advantage of you in their dealings with you, you don't have to be angry, you don't have to cut off your relationship, you just need to properly grasp the degree and proportion of that relationship.

Of course, we should also distinguish between the purpose and nature of such use. Some people deliberately get close to themselves and pull relationships, often in order to form gangs and factions, or to achieve dishonorable goals.

In such cases, they should be rejected and resisted in a timely manner. Don't be used as a gun by someone.

If someone simply wants to use some of your strengths and connections to solve some practical difficulties for him, you can naturally maintain normal dealings with them.

Cherish friendship and make our life path smoother.