Lin Yueru was shocked by his question.

After a pause, she looked at the person opposite.

"Is this a serious problem?"

"Important, please also ask the girl to solve your doubts."

"What if I don't want to?"

Song Huaili smiled lightly: "If the girl wants to ask me something, she should give me something, right?" ”

Lin Yueru was patient and thought seriously for a while.

She seriously recalled her feelings when she saw Han Yanqing outside the gate of Jishitang.

Thinking back to the feeling of leaving in a negative mood and being alone in Jiangdu.

and my own state of mind at the moment.

After a long time, she shook her head slowly.

A burst of light suddenly rose in Song Huaili's eyes.

His hands trembled slightly, and he had to clench his fists and put them under him.

He hid his excitement, tried his best to keep his voice calm, and asked cautiously:

"What does that mean dislike?"

Lin Yueru shook her head again.

"I don't know."

"There's been so much between us, and we've been through so much together."

When she first came to this world, she faced the humiliation of bandits.

The first person she saw at that time, and the person who saved her from the bandits without hesitation, was Han Yanqing.

At that time he was a little fool with a bad brain.

But he rushed forward so recklessly, and used his body to block the bandit for her.

Regardless of her own safety, she kept shouting for her to run.

Lin Yueru thought of the picture at that time, and the corners of her mouth couldn't help but raise a smile.

"Shopkeeper Song, I won't tell you. I've lived so long before, and I've never had any extravagant feelings. I don't expect anyone to be nice to me, or to bear anything for me. ”

She knew that she was alone in this world, and she had no way out or to rely on.

But Han Yanqing appeared.

He kept himself firmly behind him from beginning to end.

Shelter her from the elements.

Even a mouthful of water and a mouthful of sweet potatoes on the way to escape from the desert had to rush to her mouth.

Seeing a trace of nostalgia and tenderness in Lin Yueru's eyes, the impulse that Song Huaili had just sprung up slowly dissipated.

But he was still unwilling after all.

"But he lied to you. On that day in Jishitang, you should have also seen the girl surnamed Sun, they ......"

Lin Yueru looked at him lightly.

"In the matter of recovering my memory, Han Yanqing really lied to me. I don't know why he didn't tell me, but I was willing to believe that he had a hard time all along. If not, then I, Lin Yueru, can't blame others for not knowing people clearly. ”

"If so, then I'm willing to suffer all the consequences. As for the girl surnamed Sun......"

She chuckled, but didn't pay attention to it.

Maybe once in the capital, during the time when Lin Yueru had not yet come, the two of them had something.

But that's old days.

If that girl was really so sure of Han Yanqing, she wouldn't run in front of her recklessly to show off her might, as if she was afraid that she would go back and pester Han Yanqing.

The problem between her and Han Yanqing is not in others, but in themselves.

Song Huaili also understood.

He smiled bitterly, "So you stayed in Jiangdu just waiting for him to come back to you?" ”

Lin Yueru thought about it and shook her head.

"Not necessarily."

"I left with all the preparations. Whether he comes to me or not, I will live well. It's not that I can't live without him Han Yanqing. ”

"I admit that I was indeed waiting for him to come to me one day and explain everything to me, but at the same time, I was also looking for myself."

"Looking for yourself?" Song Huaili twisted his eyebrows and repeated.

"Yes, find yourself." Lin Yueru's eyes looked out the window into the distance, as if she was muttering to herself unconsciously.

"I've never lived for myself, and I want to try what it's like to live for myself without caring for anyone or doing things for anyone."

Song Huaili's chest trembled violently.

Some of the deepest things in his heart were awakened by Lin Yueru's words.

He finally understood why he couldn't help but want to get close to her even though he knew he couldn't do it.

It's a natural desire for one's own kind.

Song Huaili smiled helplessly but relievedly.

"Miss Lin's thoughts and thoughts coincide with those below."

Lin Yueru looked at him.

Song Huaili seemed to fall into memory, and only slowly spoke after a while.

"You may have heard that my father still has some status in the capital. And I am the eldest son in the family. ”

"As a result, I was born with the burden of my family on my shoulders. I have arrangements for what exercises I practice, what I eat, and what books I read every day. ”

"Father, they did everything they could to make me what I should be. My existence is not for myself, but for the rise and fall of the Song family, and for the continuation of the Song family. ”

"They pushed me down the road without asking me if I wanted to."

Through his narration, Lin Yueru seemed to see a little teenager.

He was even just a child who had just reached the knees of adults, and he was already forcibly pressed to practice martial arts and study.

He was pushed step by step.

can't have his own preferences, nor can he have his own pursuits, his existence is for the rise and fall of the Song family.

This is the sorrow unique to the extended family.

When she looked at Song Huaili again, there was a sense of compassion in her eyes.

Through Song Huaili, I feel compassion for the countless men and women who have been destroyed in their self-will in this era.

Song Huaili sneered, "But my father never expected that the eldest son he gave birth to would be such a disobedient child. ”

"Ever since I was a teenager, I was tired of studying in my study. I tried every way to sneak out, ride a horse to see the flowers, and Keju to hunt...... Whenever there are people playing in the capital, I am bound to go in and insert a foot. ”

Lin Yueru frowned slightly.

The cost of such a rebellion must be very high.

Sure enough, Song Huaili immediately said: "Of course, I have also suffered a lot for this. ”

"My father thinks that I am the future head of the Song family, and those outrageous actions are all discrediting and embarrassing him."

So every time I escaped, he would catch me and beat me severely. I remember the most angry time he was when he broke my skin and left me in the snow for most of the day in the winter. ”

"If it weren't for my mother crying and begging him that time, I'm afraid I would have frozen into ice sculptures and died in the courtyard."

He had a self-deprecating smile on his face.

In Lin Yueru's eyes, it was very unbearable.

In her opinion, he was even a little self-defeating.

Song Huaili glanced at her, as if guessing what she was thinking.

"You don't understand, you don't think it's worth it for me to do this, do you?"

After hesitating, Lin Yueru nodded.

Song Huaili chuckled lightly and leaned back in his chair.

"I don't know why I'm going to suffer so much. Probably because, I found that those younger brothers were obviously talented and more suitable than me to inherit the Song family, but because of my status as the eldest son, everything could not be done, I couldn't bear it. ”

Song Huaili looked at the ceiling, and his eyes gradually lost focus.

He just didn't understand and wasn't convinced.

He didn't look down on the position of the head of the Song family at all.

He didn't even care how high he stood in the court.

He just likes to ride his horse and live happily, whether he has money today or where he eats tomorrow.

As for those who fight with me, it should be left to those who are willing to do it.

Lin Yueru thought for a while and said softly, "Then why are you here, why did you meet him?" ”