Li Tifu still couldn't get rid of the inner investigation, even if he tried his best to explain to himself that what he did was right, and tried his best to comfort himself, but he still couldn't completely get rid of the inner condemnation. Self-recognition at the beginning, to self-doubt, self-denial, doubting one's own practices, doubting one's own mentality, to doubting one's own personality.

In his past life, in order to maintain the relationship between his classmates, Li Tifu knew that others deliberately provoked trouble, deliberately picked bones from eggs to target himself, Li Tifu would treat it with a smile even if he knew, and he would try his best to find the problem in his body, he wanted to hide his emotions as much as possible, even if something very unpleasant happened, he also hoped to deepen the relationship between his classmates. For example, it's the wrong way you speak! For example, it may be that I was a little louder just now, and it is my fault! For example, maybe it's wrong to do it yourself! And so on and so forth. But in the end, instead of being forgiven, sheltered, or paid attention to by the classmates, these self-confessed behaviors made the classmates more reckless and targeted at Li Tifu. Although Li Tifu finally figured it out and decided that he would never sacrifice his kindness to cater to them again, the original behavior still had a very bad impact on Li Tifu's character. Many times I don't dare to admit myself, I don't dare to recognize myself. Li Tifu didn't dare to open up when talking to others, and even when communicating with his parents, Li Tifu didn't dare to make some healthy jokes between parents and children. Li Tifu also became self-doubting, unconfident, nervous, and anxious for a while.

Now Li Tifu has also begun to deny himself and doubt himself. Even if I have made a lot of mental preparation for myself and comforted myself for a long, long time, I still have that kind of mentality.

Li Tifu felt that he had done nothing wrong to think about himself from any angle. A drunk who goes to bully his favorite person, and it's his own mother, doesn't stand idly by, but stands up. Li Tifu is still very proud of this. It's just that the more I comfort myself in this way, the stronger my worries and self-denial will be.

Li Tifu also thought about it from his own perspective for a long time, but he was still indifferent and still couldn't get rid of that kind of self-condemnation. Li Tifu thought that there was no reason to pity a father who didn't even care about his own son, let alone care, and what was even more excessive and most unexpected was that on a happy day like today, the father would do that, and he would oppress his mother, which will never be forgiven.

Li Tifu felt that he had done nothing wrong in any way, but he just couldn't sleep, and a voice kept persuading Li Tifu. The voice told him "You shouldn't be like this, he's your own father!" You should care about him, understand him, love him, understand him, understand why he drinks, you are doing a little too much, you should not push him, you should visit your father, to comfort him with his condition, to communicate with him more, now is a good opportunity for you to establish a good relationship with your father" This voice kept silently reading next to Li Tifu's ear, Li Tifu finally couldn't stand the voice, and began to talk to this voice.

"You shouldn't talk to me like that, I don't think there's any need to understand him, and I don't think there's any need to ask him why he was drinking, or even have a negligible relationship with him! There's no need to visit him in the hospital, and he doesn't have the qualifications for me to visit, he's doing it on his own, and besides, he needs a reason to drink!? This man has nothing but work and drinking in his eyes. He didn't even attend his own son's parent-teacher conference. Do you know how my classmates laugh at me? They say I'm a 'giant baby, mother', can you feel this feeling of being sexually humiliated and sexually ridiculed? To tell you the truth, I didn't ask too much of him, I just wanted him to hold my hand and attend a parent-teacher meeting held by our class, so that those who laughed at me could see that I also have a father, and I don't always have the kind of boy who can't live without my mother. In the end, it was this so-called father who wiped me out with a single chance. Do you say I'm still going to follow this person? Li Tifu replied to the voice.

"You should think carefully about who your father is not able to spare time for, and for whom he is busy every day," the voice added.

"Don't tell me that he is for me, for me he can be absent from my parent-teacher conference, for me he will drink, for me he will drink and then abuse my mother, you know that there is no more important person to me than my mother now, he will do that kind of thing for the person who will be the most important to me!? You tell me that to be honest, I don't expect much from him, and I don't object to him going to drink, and that I've been looking at him as my father since he didn't come to my parent-teacher conference, and he's really unforgivable. Li Tifu said to the voice.

"I know, this is not the truest voice in your heart, nor is it the real you, you are actually very eager to be recognized by your father, and you want to have a deep hug with your father," the voice said to him again.

"Don't be so naïve, okay? I've made it clear, I don't need to," Li Tifu said excitedly.

"Then tell me, why did your father's greeting that morning make you happy like that, and why is it your father who you want to share your results with," Li Tifu told the voice.

"I..." Li Tifu hesitated, did not continue the conversation, did not know how to deal with that voice, and did not know how to explain those moments of happiness and longing.

Li Tifu began to waver, and the confidence that had been built, the self-recognition that had been established, seemed to have become less indestructible.

Li Tifu began to think about the joy brought by the greeting that voice said, why he was the person he wanted to share with after getting the results, and why he had that kind of desire for him, longing for his recognition, and longing for his attention. Li Tifu began to focus on finding the root cause, but the more he thought about it, the more confused he became, and the more he thought about it, the more he didn't understand why.

Li Tifu began to reflect, began to review one scene after another, recalled one detail after another, and wanted to find confidence in these memories, and find the good explanation that he thought he had done right.

There were several knocks on the door before Li Tifu heard clearly, opened his eyes suddenly, and woke up from the "dialogue" and "reflection" just now. Go and open the door, it's Bahar.

Li Tifu was stunned at first, but he didn't see who it was, and it was Bahar who was dressed. Just looking at the faces, it's like two people. The face is yellow and thin, and the person who looks like he is going to the hospital is not Wumaier, but more like Bahar. The swollen eyelids looked like there were two light bulbs hanging on them, and they didn't cry much when they saw it, and their faces were pale, without any blood at all, as if they had drawn ten kilograms of blood, and the already blue face for some reason made people even more suspicious of whether it was me in front of them.

"Mom!?" Li Tifu's eyes were full of pity and he whispered.

Bahar looked at Li Tifu's face as if he understood something, and reluctantly smiled and teased, "Your mother doesn't know you anymore" Bahar's originally yellow and thin face became even more embarrassed by such a smile.

"Why is it so cold outside now! Just stood for a moment, and made me cold and shiver," Bahar continued

Li Tifu didn't say anything, just smiled briefly. It's July, it's a hot summer, and it's impossible for my mother to catch a cold outside. Besides, if you catch a cold, it won't be like this, and it won't be like this. Li Tifu knew that his mother was making excuses for herself.

The two of them were silent for a long time, looking at each other. No one broke the silence. "I am," Bahar spoke first.

Li Tifu looked at Bahar curiously, as if the voice just now was not coming from his mother.

"I'm coming back to get some bedding and pillows," Bahar said, but there was silence. Li Tifu still stood and didn't speak, after a while.

"Oh! Okay, I'll bring it to you, Mom, you go into the house and rest at home for a while" Li Tifu said and wanted to take Bahar's hand and let him into the house.

"It's better to go into the house! I'm going to hurry over! Bahar said.

Hearing this, Li Tifu was immediately angry and angry, but he didn't show it too prominently. After saying "yes", he turned around and walked back to the back room.

"I don't want to be too thick, just the thin red futon on top of my closet," Bahar shouted to Richford.

Li Tifu did not answer, and continued to walk to the back room.

After entering the house, he sat in Bahar's bedroom for about five minutes, until Bahar shouted Richford's name, and then he stood up.

In less than two minutes, Li Tifu came out of the back room with a red futon and pillow.

"Come to me," Bahar said, holding out his hand.

Li Tifu thought of something else in his mind, and subconsciously stretched out the futon in his hand, Bahar stretched out his hand and was about to catch it, Li Tifu saw Bahar reach out and quickly put away the futon that had been stretched out and said, "I'm coming, Mom!" ”。

"Mom, you're at the door, at least sit for a while before leaving!" Li Tifu's eyes were full of pity.

"I'd better be free, I'd better go back! Your dad still needs someone around him," Bahar said, looking at Lee's face, giving him a nonchalant and somewhat annoying look. Bahar wasn't surprised, she expected it to be like this.

Bahar had thought of explaining to Li Tifu what had happened and why the whole thing had happened, and it was his father's good intentions at that time, but he did not expect such a consequence to brew. Bahar tried to speak, but stopped. Bahar felt that there was no need, and besides, it had developed like this, and now how to explain that all this was a misunderstanding, who would believe it, not even himself, it would be better not to say it. Even if Li Tifu believed it, Bahar felt that it was even more unnecessary, she felt that with Li Tifu's character, if he knew the truth of the matter, he would definitely collapse, and he would definitely blame himself and feel guilty, which Bahar did not want to see.

"Alright! Then I'll send you, Mom," Leetifu said, walking in front of Bahar.

Bahar did not speak, but followed quietly after him, and without saying a word to each other, he walked quietly down the street.

As the saying goes, everything is silent, and one does not speak because there is no need to say it. Everything has happened, now go and explain what happened. Explain it as a misunderstanding, a big misunderstanding, how ridiculous, how ridiculous. Although it is true, it is purely accidental that there is no debate. The other one is even more unnecessary to say, and I don't want to say it. Because he felt that he was right, the accidents that occurred were all caused by Umar. Who made him drink, who made him not care about me, offended the most important people, went to bully the favorite people. Why explain, why understand. The fault is on him, and he is self-inflicted.

One didn't speak, and the other didn't ask. A joke, what a big joke. Whose fault is it? Obviously, none of them are at fault, no one is at fault. Maybe it's just some coincidences, some results that have been piled up by time, some specific places, or a scene that no one thought of without a forethought, or a misunderstanding slowly formed by time, who knows! Everyone's perspective is correct, but the perspective of the angle brings some deviations, brings different information to people from different perspectives, brings different understandings, and finally brings different effects, and finally derives different consequences.

Li Tifu stopped a taxi on the street, put the futon in his hand in the trunk, and after saying goodbye to his mother affectionately, he did not immediately turn around and go home, but stood there and watched the taxi go away until the taillights disappeared.

Now Li Tifu is really extremely angry and extremely annoyed. Seeing my mother's appearance just now, I was extremely angry.

On the way home, Li Tifu began to take the initiative to talk to the voice.

Is there anything else you want to tell me? You also saw how embarrassed your mother was just now. I may not have answered your questions positively, but now you see that I have found the answers. You don't need to explain it, you can see it! You see what I did was not wronged at all, how hateful that man was, how annoying he was. He usually bullied my mother, but now he is still torturing my mother in his way while lying in the hospital. Look at what I have done, how noble. If you ask me why I'm so happy for a greeting and can't wait to share my results with him, I may still not be able to answer your questions, which may be a human instinct. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment!

Obviously, this time the voice did not come out again to continue to defend, to explain, to ask questions. That voice is starting to feel unnecessary! The voice may have thought that Li Tifu was right, and disappeared, and the voice disappeared completely.

Today's Li Tifu is really tired, he hasn't slept all night, he can't sleep. A series of questions are being pursued, and I am hesitating, but now they are all gone. Without the tormenting voices, without the questions, those are gone. Now Li Tifu has his own unique understanding of those problems, has a very clear understanding of his own practices, and has also been resolutely recognized and affirmed by himself.

Li Tifu fell asleep not long after he went to bed.