twenty-nine

There is a large lotus pond outside the small village, the lotus flowers are in full bloom, just after a light rain, the lotus leaves are dripping with water droplets, and the white lotus flowers are even more refreshing. The weather is also cooler, giving a feeling of relaxation.

The lotus pond built a trestle bridge from the shore, stretched into the lotus pond, and connected the trestle bridge in the lotus pond, built a pavilion, and the pavilion was surrounded by mud and planted with a few gourds and loofahs. Song Yu sat on the chair at the bottom of the pavilion, his eyes in a daze and sad. She was only twenty-one years old, a three-year-old girl and a boy who had just turned one. When she got married, she did not have a marriage certificate because she was not of the legal age for marriage. They still haven't registered for a marriage certificate. She and her husband have incompatible personalities and often quarrel. Her husband was thin and didn't go out to work, but just farmed and managed the lotus pond. She wanted to go out to work, but her children were too young to get out. She and her mother-in-law were at odds and had several fights.

She was mediocre and slightly chubby. Although she only has a beginner level of Chinese, she likes literature, especially ancient poetry. She herself often writes vernacular poems, and she also writes novels, which have also been published on the Internet. But she hasn't earned a penny in literature so far, so her husband has quarreled with her a lot, and her mother-in-law has also said that she is restless and not honest to live at home.

She looked at this lotus pond, the weather was gloomy and the cool breeze made her feel better.

But there was one thing that made her anxious, insomnia and boredom. The family planning staff in the village visited her family many times and asked her and her husband to have one of them sterilized. She didn't want to do it, she wanted her husband to do it. She thought that now she and her husband have not registered for the certificate, and her mother-in-law has been saying all day long outside that she will divorce her son and find a daughter-in-law again. If she is sterilized, she will not be able to find her in-laws' family in the future. However, her mother-in-law insisted that she go for sterilization, saying that her son was thin and could not withstand the operation.

Therefore, in recent days, because of this incident, there has been a lot of quarrel. Her mother's family, especially her mother, did not agree with her to have sterilization, saying that she would not do it even if she was divorced, otherwise it would be difficult to marry in the future.

She firmly believed that her mother's words were right, and she was determined not to go for sterilization.

Looking at the lotus pond, she remembered Zhu Ziqing's essay "Moonlight on the Lotus Pond", thinking that if it was in the moonlight, it must be a beautiful place.

She carefully observed the lotus pond, where there were still fish, and the fish were scurrying among the lotus leaves. She thought, why do people have so many troubles? How nice it would be if people were like fish, without worries, carefree, and enjoying this beautiful scenery to the fullest. Alas! She sighed, and the thought that she was not as comfortable as a fish made her sad again.

She only cared about her thoughts, but she didn't find that someone came to her side, it was her bosom friend Zhang Xiaoyan, who was the same age as her. Zhang Xiaoyan came to her side and said, "What are you doing here?" Something big is wrong. ”

She looked up and saw Zhang Xiaoyan, "What's wrong?" ”

"Your mother-in-law went to the village committee and asked the family planning people to forcibly drag you to be sterilized."

"They dare!" Suddenly she had courage.

"Oh, my stupid sister, there are many people who are forcibly pulled to be sterilized, why don't they dare?"

Song Yu was a little scared. "What then?" Zhang Xiaoyan said: "Run, there is no other way"

"But, I'm gone, what about the two children?"

"With your mother-in-law, you can starve them to death. You go home and get your ID card and bring a few changes of clothes. No, let's go to Linhe City to hide first. I'll take you to the East Station on a motorized tricycle. Hurry up, don't hesitate. ”

"That's good."

"You go home and pack your things, I'll go home and drive a tricycle to take you to the station, remember to be fast, don't forget your ID card."

thirty

Sitting on the bus leading to Linhe, Song Yu was in a nervous mood and escaped by luck, which made her still have palpitations. She hated her mother-in-law, the vicious old woman, who seemed to be her enemy all along.

Where to go to the river? She has no relatives in Linhe, so she goes to work? But she doesn't really have the mood to work now, she is bored, and she doesn't know where to go.

She closed her eyes, dazed, and suddenly, she seemed to think of something, yes, go to the dojo. She had been there twice before, and she still remembered that the mage was called He Hui, so yes, she went to find her.

The dojo is on the twenty-first floor of a building. She still remembered Master He Hui's room, and she walked straight in.

The room was empty, except for a female master in her forties, sitting cross-legged along the wall. She closed her eyes, bald her head, and wore a hundred gowns. It is said that the clothes are made of 100 patches, and they come in a variety of colors, but they are all plain. It is said that she is practicing the Dan, that is, she meditates every day, and she does not even go to bed, but sits cross-legged.

Song Yu approached her and called softly, "Master." He Hui opened her eyes and saw that it was Song Yu, she was very surprised, and said, "Song Yu, why are you here?" ”

Song Yu fell to his knees in front of He Hui. "Master, I have no way out."

Then Song Yu told what happened to her.

After listening to her story, He Hui said slowly: "Song Yu, everything is cause and effect, there is a cause and effect, this is the karma you created in your previous life, so you will pay it back in this life." I think you'd better take refuge. ”

"I'll listen to your master."

"Alright, you come with me to the hall."

The two came to the hall. There are many Buddha statues in the hall, and the Buddha statues are full of fruits, snacks, and incense.

"Come", He Hui said: "Song Yu, kneel down and kowtow to the Buddha." ”

Song Yu knelt down, kowtowed, and still knelt in place. He Hui said: "Get up, Song Yu, I will give you a legal name, and you will be called He Yu." Even though you have taken refuge, you are still a lay disciple. Now, you live in the dojo, and there will be people in this hall in a moment. ”

The house where Song Yu lived was not large, with three iron beds with bunk beds, and Song Yu lived in an empty upper bunk.

"You can rest here for a while, and you will be looking for me if you have something." Master He Hui walked out after speaking.

Song Yu made the bed and sat on the bed thinking about it all. Fate is really magical, I was still at home in the morning, and I suddenly came to such a strange environment.

"You're Senior Brother He Yu, right?" A girl in her early twenties said as she stood in front of the bed. Song Yu saw him and nodded. "Yes."

"My name is Huiming, Master He Hui said, let me take care of you, your master has told me, you can live here with peace of mind, you can tell me anything, the senior brothers here are all fine."

"Senior brother?" Song Yu asked, "Why do you call me Senior Brother?" "Ah, you don't know yet, except for the master, we all call us senior brothers, even my mother also calls me senior brother."

"Your mother calls you Senior Brother?" Song Yu felt inexplicable.

"You'll find out later." The little girl sat down on a stool and said, "Master Pingze will come to the river in a few days." ”

"Master Pingze?"

"Yes, Master Pingze is amazing, he was born in six or eight years, and graduated from the physics department of the university. He taught the Fa very well, and he had to teach the Fa at half past seven every night. He has many dojos in the country, there are two in Linhe alone, there are also in Suzhou, there are also in Wuxi, anyway, there are many places. This dojo was bought by a wealthy businessman in Linhe for millions of dollars and given to Master Pingze. He also has two temples. ”

"So, isn't Master Pingze a billionaire?"

"Shhhh The little girl looked at the time on her phone. "It's time for lunch, let's go eat."

"Do you want to pay for the meal?"

"Don't, you can give it if you want anyway, ten yuan, five yuan is fine, it's okay not to give it, whatever."

"Then I'll give ten yuan." Song Yu took out ten yuan from her bag, stuffed it into her trouser pocket, and went to eat with the little girl.

thirty-one

Song Yu has lived in the dojo for a while. However, not eating at noon made her suffer. Insomnia at night, tossing and turning and unable to sleep, and hungry and howling. Although she had snacks and fruits to pay tribute, she had a bad stomach, and her stomach was sour when she ate sweets, and only some of the fruits were rotten, and the good ones were taken away.

At night, I kept getting out of bed to drink water and go to the bathroom, and the sound was inevitable. The people in the dormitory were not satisfied and had a lot of opinions about her. One day, she finally moved her luggage to the utility room, and she couldn't help it. However, there is only one bed in the utility room, and she lives alone, and there is no sunlight, dampness, and darkness all year round.

Master He Hui also went to Suzhou, and she had no one to complain about, so she could only endure it. She thought that after the Mid-Autumn Festival, the weather would be cooler, so she would leave here and find a place to work.

The somewhat fierce master arranged for Song Yu to cook in the kitchen again. She got up at five o'clock in the morning every morning to make breakfast, and then she had to make lunch, plus insomnia, poor rest, yawning, either forgetting this or that. The people in the kitchen were also dissatisfied with her and talked about her from time to time. It only increased her intention to get out of here. She thought, it seems that there is no paradise in the world, and this dojo is also open and secret, just like the world. The sense of relaxation when I first arrived, and the sense of friendship with my brothers are gone.

Leave here after the Mid-Autumn Festival, it's better to find a place to work than here. She made up her mind.

The Mid-Autumn Festival has finally arrived, and on this day, the brothers and sisters have gone home for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Several masters from other places also left, and she was left alone in the dojo. She didn't eat from morning to noon, and there was no one in the kitchen and no one was cooking. Originally, there were many people who offered fruit snacks on August 15, but when they left, they all took them with them, leaving only a little rotten fruit.

Song Yu had no choice, and the sadness also made her have no appetite. At noon, she cut off the rotten fruit with a knife, ate some fruit, felt that she was not hungry, and sat alone in the hall to meditate.

However, her heart couldn't calm down after all, and on the day of the reunion of ten thousand families, she was alone, hiding in the dojo alone, and she didn't know what happened to the two children? Especially the boy who just turned one year old, named Yangyang, how is he? You won't be hungry, will you? Thinking of this, sorrow came from her heart, she couldn't bear it anymore, she cried bitterly, tears flowed down her cheeks, she cried for a long time, but there was no one in the dojo except her. So, she wiped her tears, stood up, and sat on the stool in a daze. What the hell should I do? Am I just going to hide forever?

In the afternoon, she thought, let's go out and buy something to eat. She went downstairs, and she bought a pig's trotter at a meat seller—something she had wanted to eat for a long time but hadn't bought. She only eats vegetarian food in the dojo, and she naturally likes to eat meat, although she converts, she doesn't care about it at this time.

She bought a box of mooncakes and a bottle of liquor for six yuan at a small store. Yes, Mid-Autumn Festival, congratulations.

It was only a few hundred meters away from the Mei River, and in a moment she came to the bank of the Mei River. The cool river breeze made her feel more comfortable. She was so hungry that she washed her hands in the river, tore open the pig's trotters and ate them. She poured a full bottle of wine and drank it alone, yes, she should drink a little during the Mid-Autumn Festival. She usually drinks a little wine sometimes, but this time she drank half a bottle of white wine, and the pig's trotters were all gone. She went to the river again to wash her hands, took out the mooncakes, and began to eat them.

The sun has set. It's the Mid-Autumn Festival, the weather is still so hot, looking at the cool river, she really wants to jump in and take a bath. Although she couldn't swim, she wanted to go down.

She came to a beach, took off her coat, and walked slowly into the river, a chill coming from her feet, it was really pleasant. She ignored it and walked straight into the deep water.

The beach in this area used to be a place for sand fishing, and there were pits under the water. However, Song Yu didn't know this, she only cared about being cool and moving forward. Suddenly, she fell into a pit with an "ahhhh

Just then, a woman ran over and reached out and pulled her up. "What are you going to do? Are you going to kill yourself? The woman asked dissatisfied.

When the two of them came to the shore, they were all wet and wet. Only then did Song Yu see the person who saved her, who was beautiful, wearing a white shirt, and even more like a fairy.

"I didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to take a shower and cool off."

The woman caught a glimpse of half a bottle of liquor. "Mid-Autumn Festival, if you don't go home, what are you drinking by the river?"

When Song Yu heard this, she couldn't bear it anymore, and cried "wow".

thirty-two

After Song Yu finished crying and told her experience, the woman said, "My name is Zhang Mei, call me Sister Mei." I also believe in Buddhism, so come and live in my house. Poor boy, don't go to that dojo, that dojo is not good, the atmosphere is not right. If you want to study Buddhism, I will take you to a good ashram. Zhang Mei said, pointing to a white Skoda sedan in front of her. Let's get in the car, take a shower at my house, and change into dry clothes. Song Yu saw Zhang Mei's charitable look, so she no longer doubted and got into the car.

The car drove into a luxury complex and came to a stop in front of a villa.

Song Yu took a bath, changed into the clean clothes Zhang Mei gave her, sat on the sofa and drank tea, and then looked at the furnishings in the living room. This is the most luxurious living room Song Yu has ever seen in his life, the TV wall is light-colored wallpaper, and the TV is concave and convex. There are a lot of flowers, there are junzi orchid, osmanthus, and the spider plant is full of square meters after unfolding. On the top of the sofa hung four paintings of Meilan bamboo chrysanthemum, each of which was inscribed with a poem. Song Yu vaguely felt that this was not an ordinary family.

Zhang Mei also changed into pajamas, sat on the sofa, and said to Song Yu with a smile: "Little girl, there is still a long way to go in life, don't you look for a short view?" ”

"Sister Mei, I'm really not looking for a short-sightedness, I drank too much wine at the time, so I wanted to take a cold shower, cool and cool."

"Alright then, I trust you. I believe in Buddhism, so it is my creation to live alone. In this way, you can live in my house, help me with some housework, and regulate my mood. She said, running her long hair back.

She took a box of blueberries and handed it to Song Yu. "Let's have a bit. You watch TV, I'll prepare dinner, and let's celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival together today. ”

thirty-three

Song Yu lived in Zhang Mei's house. Song Yu went back to the dojo and brought her luggage. After she finished her housework, she also went to the store to help. There is also a smile on his face, and the person is also fat.

One afternoon, when it was time to cook dinner, Song Yu came home and Mei Yu was watching TV with the air conditioner on. When Mei Yu saw Song Yu coming in, she was busy cooking, and said, "Let's take a break, it's very hot, cool and cool and do it again." ”

"Not tired." Song Yu said with a smile: "The Mid-Autumn Festival has passed, and the sky is still so hot. She said and sat down on the couch.

After dinner, Mei Yu went out to smoke, play cards, and play chess, and tonight it was drizzling, so he went out to smoke a few cigarettes, and sat on the sofa to watch TV.

Song Yu cleaned up the housework and also came over to watch TV. Meiyu only watched the news, and also watched some hundred pulpits, and at this time was reading ancient love poems.

Song Yu said, "Do you believe in Buddhism? ”

"I don't believe it." Meiyu shook her head.

"Then why did you convert?"

"I'm here to learn qigong." He glanced at her.

"Why don't you believe in Buddhism?"

"Buddha, Buddha is emptiness, before learning Buddhism is emptiness, and after learning it is also emptiness. Do you believe in Buddhism? He asked her.

Song Yu shook his head. "I can't say it, I came to the dojo when I was looking for a place to stay. However, I think what the Buddha is talking about is good deeds, doing good deeds with others, and accumulating virtue by doing good deeds. ”

"Not really." Meiyu shook her head. "Buddhism is too backward now, the six realms of reincarnation. Do you believe in the six realms of reincarnation? ”

"I didn't think about it, they all said that, probably yes."

"Haha." Meiyu laughed. "What six realms of reincarnation, it's all deceitful nonsense." He paused for a moment, seemed to think of something, and said with emotion: "Let me tell you about the history of Buddhism, during the period of five dynasties and ten kingdoms. At this point, he stopped.

"Which dynasty is the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms?" Song Yu asked.

Mei Yu lowered the sound of the TV, became interested, and said: "The Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms are in the middle of the Tang Dynasty and the Song Dynasty. At that time, especially in the south, there were many men and women, and there were many people who believed in Buddhism. There are poems as evidence: 480 temples in the Southern Dynasty, how many buildings are in the smoke and rain. Later, there were too many people who believed in Buddhism, and several emperors saw that this was not good, so they began to destroy Buddhism. At that time, Buddhism was divided into two schools, one that preached the scriptures and meditated, and the other did not teach the scriptures but only meditated. After the extermination of Buddhism, the school of preaching became extinct, and only the school of meditation remained. ”

"You read so many books, no wonder Sister Mei said you were a nerd."

"Alas!" Meiyu sighed. "Your sister Mei can't see me reading, and often laughs at me, but in my opinion, it's still good to read more."

At this time, an ancient poem was playing on the TV: The flowers are similar every year, but the people are different every year. Mei Yu said: "Do you know the origin of this ancient poem? ”

Song Yu shook his head. "I don't know."

This ancient poem also led to a murder, in the Tang Dynasty, there was a poet named Liu Xiyi. He wrote a poem, which contained these two lines, and he was very proud, so he took it to his uncle Song Zhiwen to read. Song Zhiwen is also a poet, and he was full of praise for these two lines, so he asked Liu Xiyi to give him these two lines of poetry, Liu Xiyi disagreed, and then went home. The next day, Song Zhiwen sent him a pot of poisoned wine to drink, and as a result, Liu Xiyi was poisoned to death. Song Zhi asked these two poems. ”

Song Yu was greatly surprised. "Just two lines of poetry, my uncle poisoned my nephew?"

Mei Yu said: "Look at how much the people of the Tang Dynasty liked poetry. There is also a poem that is even more interesting. Cui Hu, a poet of the Tang Dynasty, went to the suburbs for a spring outing one spring, was thirsty, and went to a family to ask for a bowl of water to drink. It was a young girl who opened the door, so she let him go to the living room to drink tea. In the second year, Cui Hu went to this area for a spring outing, came to the girl's house again, knocked on the door, but did not see the girl from last year to open the door. So, I inscribed a poem on the Zhu Gate: In this door last year, the peach blossom people were red. The face of the person does not know where to go, and the peach blossoms are still smiling in the spring breeze. When he finished writing, he was just about to leave, when an old man opened the door and grabbed him and said, 'It turned out to be you, you have made my young lady miserable.' It turned out that after Cui Hu left last year, the young lady liked Cui Hu, so she became sick day and night, but the day before yesterday passed away, and now the coffin is still parked in the yard. Cui Hu listened, rubbed his feet and sighed, saying that he was going to worship. When he came to the mourning hall, he knelt down and kowtowed, crying and saying, 'Oh, miss, I don't know you are so infatuated, and I am also infatuated with her. I knew that Miss had this intention, and I decided to ask the media to kiss. Alas! Unexpectedly, the heavens did not fulfill people's wishes, and I was separated from the young lady. It didn't matter if he cried, the young lady opened her eyes and sat up. The young lady turned out to be well, and the two became husband and wife, and they achieved a hundred years of goodness. ”

Song Yu was surprised when he heard this: "There are such infatuated people in the world. Ay! I've read two lines of poetry before, and I've never figured out what it means, so tell me about it. These two lines of poetry are: Thousands of sails pass by the side of the sunken boat, and ten thousand trees spring before the sick tree withers. ”

Mei Yu said: "These two poems talk about your situation, although you are in a difficult situation now, but a great future is tomorrow." ”

Song Yu blinked, as if he understood.

thirty-four

Most of the Fengyang Road in Linhe City sells clothing, especially women's clothing. Most of the bosses are women, and most of the people who go shopping are women, so they are called women's streets. There is a relatively large shop in the middle of the women's market, which is Zhang Mei's shop.

It is Liu Yan and Wang Xiao who go to work today. Wang Xiao is in his forties, medium height, and fair-skinned. Her family is not short of money, and her family has a cement factory, which is run by her husband. Originally, she also worked in a cement factory, but she thought that her husband always criticized him, and she was a very independent woman, so she stopped working with her husband and opened a clothing store by herself. They only have one daughter, who went to college, so she also has time. The house where she opened a clothing store was planned to be demolished, so she disposed of the clothes, and when she was bored at home, she went to work in the Jinxin cloth store, in order to be in a good mood and pass the time.

After Song Yu walked into the store to introduce herself, Liu Yan said "ahhh "You're here, I've tired me and Sister Wang to death these days, it's good for you to come." Liu Yan was close to the age of thirty, and her hair was combed back all over, revealing her forehead.

Song Yu said: "Okay, I will learn from the two of you in the future, and you will teach me more." Liu Yan said: "Zhang Wei asked me to buy sales watches, ballpoint pens and other things today, and it happened that Song Yu came, so I went to buy them now." ”

Liu Yan walked out as she spoke, humming a little song.

"She's optimistic." Song Yu said.

"Optimistic?" Wang Xiao said: "She has a psychological problem, she is divorced, she lives alone, and she lives in the back storeroom. ”

"Then she didn't find another husband?"

"What's so suitable?"

"Alas!" Song Yu sighed. "A poor man, too."

After a while, Liu Yan came back. There were no customers, Liu Yan hummed a little song, held the shelves with both hands, and said on the ground: "It was so good at that time, the peach trees in the garden, I can pick whichever one I want to eat." I picked a melon, washed it in the creek, ate it and walked, and it was so sweet. ”

"Were you married then?" Wang Xiao asked from time to time.

"I'm married, and my children are two years old."

"Do you miss your son now? How old is he? ”

"I don't want to, it's all eleven or two. What do you want him to do, how happy and free a person is, eat whatever he wants, and play wherever he wants. ”

thirty-five

One day after dinner, Mei Yu watched TV and chatted with Song Yu, and they talked about marriage. Song Yu said: "I read an article that said that marriage is against human nature. ”

"There are different opinions on this issue. It depends on the situation, if the marriage is happy, it is a situation; If the marriage is unhappy, or a marriage without love, then it is another situation. ”

"People used to say that marriage is the grave of love, is this really the case?"

"It's hard to say."

"So what do I do now, in your opinion? I can't just keep hiding, can I? ”

"Well, we have to analyze it specifically. Do you feel happy in your previous life? ”

"I'm not happy, I quarrel all day long, I quarrel with my husband, I quarrel with my mother-in-law, I don't have a day of peace, I don't want to live a day like that."

"You don't have love?"

"I don't know, and I can't tell. However, divorced like Liu Yan is not happy. Have you seen Jane Eyre? I think I'm much more unfortunate than that Miss Jane, at least she ended well, and I don't know what the ending will be? ”

"You're going to get better, things are always changing."

They talked about other issues for a while, and Song Yu went back to his room to read.

However, she couldn't stand it. Recently, she doesn't know why, she always likes to talk to Meiyu, always wants to see him, and her heart is full of joy and hope. But she also felt that she should have less contact with Meiyu, which made her feel conflicted. She thought that maybe she should leave here, Sister Mei was her savior, and she couldn't do anything to be sorry for Sister Mei no matter what.

thirty-six

Song Yu got on the train to Shanghai, and she was conflicted. She told a white lie, she said that her cousin in Shanghai asked her to help with the business. In fact, she found that she liked Meiyu very much, and she was afraid that if it continued to develop like this, it would cause bad consequences and destroy Sister Mei's family. She didn't want to be ungrateful.

However, she only knew what love was, and she understood that there was no love in her original family. Although she misses those two children very much, she never wants to return to the family that has caused her endless pain. She thought, leaving the original family, she didn't know what the road ahead would be. But no matter what, she was going to go out and find her own piece of the sky. Let that beautiful love stay in your heart forever. After all, she knew what love was, and she finally loved once, although it was short-lived, and it ended immediately. This might be the best ending, she thought. She withdrew in time and did not hurt Sister Mei, so that her conscience would be quiet. No matter what happens to you in the future, you will have a clear conscience.

She looked out the window at the scenery and slowly fell asleep.

Mei Yu and Zhang Mei sat in the office of the wholesale department. Zhang Mei said: "Zhang Wei is going to have a baby, what should I do at the retail store?" Mei Yu said: "The wholesale department can't do without you, I don't have anything to do recently, I'll go to the retail store and see who is suitable to choose a store manager." ”

Zhang Mei said: "Let's just decide." It's getting harder and harder to do business now. Hey, now the price of the villa has risen a lot, 121 square meters, no, let's sell two? ”

Mei Yu said: "I think it's better not to sell, wait a minute, now the house price is still rising." ”

Zhang Mei yawned and said, "Then listen to you, but let's not be too greedy, things must be reversed, let's stop in moderation." ”

Mei Yu said, "I know, madam, trust your husband's judgment. Besides, now that the foreign debts have been paid off, there is no urgent need for money, so let's wait and see. ”

Zhang Mei said: "Okay, Zhang Wei won't go to work tomorrow, you can go to the retail store tomorrow." ”

Meiyu said, "Okay. ”