Chapter 1228: Bond (57)

Hedgehog Love: The Bond (Varu Alan)

（57）

At night, I saw the online name "Tiansha Lone Star", but I didn't say hello to show my concern. In his "last diary", he said that he was going to go to the hospital for a test and get a health report, so as not to be called mentally ill after death. I left a message: "Suicide is mentally ill, so you don't need to be tested. Your mother is so pathetic, raising an idiot. ”

I decided to show up online and not refuse to chat, hoping that people with grievances can find someone who complains.

However, I won't talk to strangers if I have grievances, even confidants can't empathize, let alone strangers?

When I have grievances, I look for books to read, and sometimes I just open an outdated magazine, and there will be articles that can be comforted.

It is said that people who want to commit suicide do not listen to advice, and they always find time to carry out their suicide plans when they are not prepared, and they will not give up until they are dying. And the practice of announcing the world before committing suicide is actually not subconsciously really wanting to die, but wanting to attract attention, right?

Ordinary people are afraid of death, but the old man doesn't want to die whenever he has a breath, and he doesn't have the strength to commit suicide when he really wants to die. I feel that suicide is mostly an impulse. Sometimes when pain and grievances strike together, I also have the idea of dying, but I am not ready, and I forget about the pain when it disappears. If the pain doesn't go away, I can't prepare properly, I don't have the strength to die if I am seriously injured and it won't be more painful?

I feel that finding ways to reduce my stress and pain is the right way to go. Many people take refuge in Buddhism when they are terminally ill to seek liberation, if they take precautions when they are healthy, let go of their attachment to chasing fame and fortune, eat and sleep well, how can they come to the desperate situation of suicide?

When the moon is full in the Mid-Autumn Festival of another year, my mother may feel that I can't be reunited with my eldest daughter, but strangely, I still don't have any sad feelings.

I've even been glad that my mother is far away, and I don't have to worry about her off and getting slapped by her. Maybe she'll remember all the good things I had when I was at home when I was a kid?

For many years, I spent the Mid-Autumn Festival with my son, and my husband was only at home during the May 1st, 11th and Spring Festival holidays, and I was not sad. The festival is no different from the usual weekend, as usual, I take the child out to play and eat a meal he ordered. When he was a child, he mostly went to McDonald's or KFC first, mainly to play with unknown charm, and then to eat Chengdu snacks to fill his stomach.

In the past four or five years since my husband returned to Beijing to work, I have eaten Chinese food with him. On the eve of the Mid-Autumn Festival, I finally ordered a blue and white porcelain grilled fish package (original price 138 yuan, group purchase price 59 yuan) on the Aibang group buying network.

This is a huge change for me, and it means that I am giving up shopping as a physical exercise.

My husband returned early in 4 of the 5 working days this week, and the rest arrived home at 18 o'clock. Although there are excuses to go home early such as meetings, gifts, etc., it is obvious that it is a trick to "catch the adulterer", and it is hard to imagine how he would have been lost if I had been hanging out in the mall instead of being at home at the time.