I wrote this book because of regret.

Today is the 1,621st day we have known each other, and it is the 890th day since she left the magic capital.

After thinking about it for a long time, how to write my story starts with my acquaintance with her.

The real familiarity should be Chinese New Year's Eve in 2018, when I had just joined the company and was still a budding newcomer. She's been working for a year now, and she's just nodding her head on weekdays. That night, she was released by a friend, and saw the circle of friends I posted on Chinese New Year's Eve that I was watching the New Year's Eve concert at home, so I left a message below: Do you want to watch a New Year's Eve movie together?

Lonely I happily went, maybe it was fate in the dark, she chose the movie - "The Last Night on Earth", a very boring literary film, so my friends would rather chat outside than watch it, so this movie is only me and her.

The mentality of that movie is impossible to verify, but probably because of her, because of this movie, she has a good impression of Huang Jue, an actor.

Later, she told me that she thought I wouldn't come because I don't like to talk and think I'm cold. Actually, I'm just wooden and can't express it.

Maybe it's really strange between people, it's really like what the movie says, it's useless for some people to see it three hundred times, and it's enough for some people to see it three times. Obviously, we just watched a movie, but we inexplicably began to get acquainted.

I don't know when it started, she often called me to eat together, every day when I got off work, my WeChat would keep flashing, I knew it must be her, because only she would like to post a few words quickly, and there would definitely be three exclamation points, and go alone.

I tend to say, "Okay."

The first time I was invited to her house was around the Mid-Autumn Festival in '19, she asked me what I like to eat, I said I like sweets, and then she made sweet and sour pork ribs.

I went to the vegetable market with her that day, and she was in front of her to buy vegetables, and I was responsible for carrying them. We went back together, it was very sunny that day, and she took a picture of my back carrying vegetables, and my shadow was very long.

Later, she told me that she wasn't really good at making sweet and sour pork ribs, and that she had asked her mother the night before, but I thought it was delicious.

Soon after this meal, she seemed to suddenly awaken her hobby of visiting the vegetable market, and almost every weekend she would take a taxi to the vicinity of my community and let me accompany her to visit the vegetable market, but I didn't realize at that time that there was a vegetable market near her house......

Maybe my compliment to her cooking skills made her a little bit more upset, and she decided to invite her friends to her house on National Day. After deciding what to cook in advance, she found that there was no steamer for making tamales at home.

So, we skipped work, to be precise, and asked for leave......

I still remember that the weather was really nice on the day of skipping, there was a light breeze, we rode our bikes on the road together, I felt that every strand of hair she flew up was full of freedom, my heart was so happy, we seemed to be going to buy a steamer, but it didn't seem to be to buy a steamer......

On the day of the party, the two of us went grocery shopping in the morning and waited for our friends to arrive in the afternoon. What I remember the most is that every time I sneak out of the kitchen to chat with my friends, she will call my name, and one moment the oil will be very hot, and the next time I will help prepare the vegetables and chop the garlic, and then I will not be able to find the dishes, obviously this is her own home, and then I will simply work with her in the kitchen. When the meeting was over, a friend said to me, "You two seem to be two people......

On the day of the winter solstice, we had a party, at eleven o'clock in the evening, after the dinner, I walked home with her, we walked and walked suddenly it snowed, the sky was full of snowflakes, she was wearing a white down jacket, bouncing in front, like a cute little penguin. At one point, I wanted to say something, but I didn't. So I wrote in the book that Su Ye and Jiang Baizhi met in the first snow, and he was thinking, the same snow is now the same as the white head. No, I was thinking.

On Chinese New Year's Eve of 19, she knew that I liked crosstalk and asked me if I wanted to watch Guo Degang's crosstalk tour together. But it happened that my high school friend got married, so I didn't say yes and chose to attend my friend's wedding. The day after I returned to the city, I heard the bad news that my father had passed away unexpectedly, so I returned to my hometown again to deal with the funeral, and then the illness began......

I stayed in my hometown for three months, and she stayed in Rongcheng for three months, and during this time, one night she asked me a question: should I stay in my hometown Rongcheng or in the magic capital?

I said, let her follow her heart.

Soon after, due to work and other factors, she decided to resign and return to Rongcheng.

So I asked Su Ye to also face a problem: guess whether Jiang Baizhi likes the part of drama and the part of the Peach Blossom Spring, Su Ye answered correctly.

I never thought we'd be separated, I thought we'd be having dinner together for a long, long time, and that separation was a very distant topic for me, but she was leaving.

That's why I wrote: Separation is not all ten miles of causeway, willow shore dawn wind and waning moon, just at a time when it is time to separate.

She told me more than three months in advance that she was leaving, and only told me. She said that as long as we had enough time to say goodbye, we would not be so sad when we left.

During those three months, she traveled back and forth between the magic capital and Rongcheng, and every time she flew back, we would eat together, and she said that one meal would be one less.

When she told me I was leaving, I was going to write her a letter, just reminiscing about the bits and pieces we were going to give to her when she left.

I wrote this letter for more than three months, but I didn't write a single word, but I thought about her for three months, and it wasn't until the eve of the day she left that I wrote a long letter of thousands of words.

The day she officially left her job was 10.16, and the day I joined was 10.16, and I felt as if everything was doomed.

To go to the airport, she asked me to send it.

At the airport security checkpoint, we waved goodbye, but I didn't leave, and I wanted to wait until I couldn't see her back before leaving. It was she who told me that when sending girls, you must send them out of sight before you can leave.

When she was about to enter the security checkpoint, she ran back and said, "Let's take a group photo."

I said, "Okay."

After the shooting, she said that I was laughing worse than crying.

This was our first and last group photo.

When I estimated that the flight had already taken off, I sent her the electronic version of the letter, thinking that she would only see it after she landed, and I still didn't have the courage to send her the handwritten letter.

A few minutes later, she messaged: You made me cry, I'm crying so badly at the airport right now.

At that time, my heart leaked, and she didn't go?

But the reality is not a film and television drama, she finally left, and it was just a flight delay at that time......

I wrote in the book: When parting, you must look at each other twice, because goodbye is really hard. Because of this illness, we never saw each other again......

My plane flew away and never flew back.

So I asked Jiang Baizhi to tell Su Ye in the book: The plane will fly back when it flies away, which is a consolation for myself.

When she left, I began to think about her, about the bits and pieces we had, so I wrote in the book: longing is the punishment for not saying something.

It was at this moment that I realized that I had already liked her. To be honest, I like girls with a cold temperament, and she's cute. So, I write: love is the sinking of free will. I used to like quiet girls, but now I like lively ......

So I went to the places we used to go to, the restaurants we ate at, and pretended to send it to her casually, so we could have a conversation together......

The third Chinese New Year's Eve we knew.

She asked: Do you want to fly to Rongcheng for New Year's Eve?

Just like when she asked me if I wanted to accompany her to Disney, I refused.

The reason for the refusal was simple, she told me that Disney must go with someone she likes.

I remembered this phrase and I thought, I'm going to go with the girl I like.

Now, I refuse to fly past the New Year's Eve because of my heart knot. She has a good family background, a car, a house and a stable job in Rongcheng, I can buy a plane ticket to go there, and then what?

I told myself that I would go back when I was a little better, because I didn't want to go as a good friend.

So I buried my heart in the bottom of my heart, but to some extent I was ready to move, so I said on Chinese New Year's Eve: I hope you will win everything.

On the day of the New Year, I said: New Year's progress, smooth sailing, good luck.

On the afternoon of the first day of the 21st Lunar New Year, I went to the cinema to watch a movie. She suddenly asked me what I was doing, and I said I was watching a movie, and she said that she was also watching a movie, and we were thousands of miles apart, in different spaces, at the same time, and we were actually watching the same movie.

She was excited, and I wasn't much better, and at that moment, I had the illusion of our fateful fate.

About a year ago, she got a cat.

While she was still there, we were shopping one night, and while passing by a mall, someone was advertising the voluntary adoption of kittens.

She loved the kittens, and I asked her if she wanted to adopt one.

She reluctantly said goodbye and said that she would have a cat when her life was stable.

I think her life must have settled down, and I still can't achieve anything......

Therefore, I write about the divergent path of life in the north and south, Jun to Xiaoxiang and Qin ......

Later, she told me that the women in Rongcheng were very gentle and caring for their families, and asked me if I wanted to find a daughter-in-law in Sichuan.

Later, I asked her why she didn't hear you say it in front of me when it was said on the Internet that the female baby in Rongcheng was very fond of talking about Lao Zishu Daoshan, and she said that she didn't need it in front of me at all.

Later, no one held my arm when I walked, and no one would lean on my shoulder when I was tired from waiting in line for hot pot...... So, when I can't help it, I will take pictures of the sunset to show her, and I miss her a little bit.

Later, when she had something on her mind, we would talk until two or three in the morning.

Later, she would send me some boys' clothes when I was shopping, saying that it was especially suitable for me.

Later, I would wonder if she still wears light-colored clothes to eat hot pot every time, and at this time, someone will bring a tissue with her and hand it to her when she needs it.

Later, I was a northerner who ate hot pot and fell in love with oil dishes, and I no longer liked sesame sauce.

Later, in the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, in the midst of the crowd, in the fireworks, and at the zero o'clock when the bell rang, she wished me a happy new year.

Later, she said that if she gets married in the future, the circle of friends will send a marriage certificate, which proves that she is not with the person she loves.

Later, in a joke, she asked me if I wanted to go to Rongcheng to marry her, and I snorted, how dare I mistake the beauty with a breeze on my sleeves.

Later, my friend asked me why I liked Rongcheng so much, and I laughed and didn't say anything.

Later, she said that if we don't get married in the future, let's take our parents to live in a small city together.

Later, our contact gradually decreased......

Later, the biggest regret in retrospect was that at one o'clock in the morning one night, in the group of several of our good friends, she said that she was hungry and wanted to eat hot pot, but in the end she didn't make the trip. Speaking of it afterwards, she said that she was waiting for me to say whether she wanted to go or not. I said that when I saw this message from her, I had already gotten up and dressed and waited for her to say a word......

To be honest, I'm quite cowardly, so what if I really say it? Can't you just ask for the day?

I write in the book whether it is more regrettable to have lost or never to have. I felt that I had lost it, and I bought a ticket to Rongcheng, but I didn't know the future, so I simply didn't start.

The rings of the days continue to move forward, I seem to be relieved, this year's birthday, she doesn't know how many times she asked me if I could accompany her to Disney, I agreed, but unfortunately it didn't work out in the end.

In the book I wrote that some people hate to meet early, some people hate to meet late, and her, I don't know. Regrets? How can I not regret it, but I have a lot of regrets in my life, and I am not bad for this one, maybe we will eventually start a new life, like two parallel lines, there will be no intersection again, she will always occupy a special place in my heart, and that's it.

But not long ago, she sent me a message, saying that she had a dream, the dream was a scene of us walking together at night a few years ago, in the dream she asked me how long we would have such happy days, I said, some people will disperse when they walk, just cherish the moment.

I've seen a saying that when you dream of someone you haven't seen for a long time, it means that your subconscious mind is forgetting about him.

At that moment, I had the urge to write this book, and I thought, even if we can't be together, I can't forget it.

I wrote everything I wanted to say through Su Ye's mouth, and asked Su Ye to have a dream for me.

Then the book was good, and I told her about it, and I wanted her to know that there was someone who knew her for only a few hundred days and nights, and that the time they really spent together might be shorter, but they liked her for a long, long time......

There is a high probability that we will not be together, and I just want not to regret it.

If you want to tell her about the boutique, it's an inexplicable insistence on me. She may not care how many people read this book, but this is an inexplicable knot in my heart, a sense of ritual, as if three thousand people know my story with her, is a special testimony, I can't quite describe this feeling, in a sense this may be a confrontation with myself? Or a rebellion against fate?

I have always thought that books, music, movies, and all other conscious things are a very subjective thing, and those who love them regard them as treasures, and those who don't love them abandon them.

But I didn't expect the grades to be so bad, and the number of subscribers might be around five or six hundred. At a certain moment, I was depressed and desperate in my heart, sad not for the grades, but for this is the answer that fate gave me?

Even the heavens are telling you that there are some things that you don't need to say.

It is with an indescribable feeling that I write to this day, both desperate and joyful. Despair is that I have been sentenced to death by fate, and I am happy that there are book friends who like it warmly, and a book friend also said that because this book is re-examining the relationship with my girlfriend, I feel the joy of leaving a lingering fragrance in my hand.

Writing this, I thought of Chinese New Year's Eve in 18, which was our only New Year's Eve, and perhaps the end of the story was predestined at that time, and the beginning was also the beginning of the end.

I thought of another day in winter, when she was wearing a white down jacket and a red scarf, smiling at me in the wind. I said, we're very much like a scene in a goblin right now. She asked me what it was, and I said it was in Canada, where the ghost bride stood on the street, tilted her head, looked bright, and said to the ghost: "Hey, sama."

I've confessed it, right......

Finally, a book friend said that my pen name is very good, in fact, this sentence is from a poem written by Ma Dongjiu when he was studying in Australia and fell out of love, the full text is: The injury is the most cold day in the evening, and the haggard people are unspeakable. Invite wine to destroy the intestines and get drunk three cups, and find the fragrance and dream five cold. The hairpin head and phoenix have tears, and I have no chance to spend it. Xiaolou is lonely and lonely, and it is difficult to be as difficult as a hook and difficult to round.

I think it's quite in line with my frustration......

Seeing this, you don't have to worry, this book may be slow, it may not be long, but it will not be unfinished, and I will not ruin my dream.

In addition, the song list has been sorted out, and book friends can search for a good time beautiful in W Yiyun, and then there is a song list with the name "Regret" at the top of the song, you can listen to it, I can't be the only one who is sad.

Okay, it's a joke, book friends, I hope you all have a good time with each other. Above~