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Yesterday was a day off, the day before yesterday was owed, the day before yesterday was still owed, there was nothing to argue, the book was almost over, no money was made, and there was a lack of passion. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

From the middle of last month to the end of this month, I know exactly what the state of update is.

This month's update, I don't know if there are 150,000 words, compared with the first month when it was put on the shelves, nearly 700,000 updates, it's simply ironic.

I remember that at the beginning, I always promised, there will be a few more tomorrow, and then with a promise, I will work hard towards the promise and fight, two ten watches, I stayed up until the early hours of the morning with red eyes, and it was also during that time that my eyes began to astigmatize.

Later, during the time when the wedding dress was filmed, I was very busy, and I didn't have time to complete the promise of several preparations, and I was scolded so much that I was bloody, even if I promised six more, completed three more, and completed three more than five more, even if the actual amount of updates exploded the general author, I was still sprayed as a dog.

So, I forgot when I started to stop committing, I didn't commit at the beginning, I could still convince myself to insist on three more, and then I found out that two more can also be, no one cares, no one sprays, and the last one is ...... From the occasional ten watches to three shifts, to two shifts, and finally up to a month, one shift, hehe, a thousand miles!

Looking at today's poor update every day, I have also felt uneasy and guilty in my heart, thinking about how many changes I will make up for tomorrow, how to break out, a blockbuster, a surprise, but there is no motivation the next day, it is still the same, and it is a change, and the cycle repeats, and it is a month.

Looking back at this month, I was so confused that I almost didn't know myself.

Back then, I could grit my teeth and break out a hundred watches, I could work hard for ten watches a day, and I could still write with blurred eyes, but now I am decadent like something.

Is life getting better and better, so you lack the motivation to work hard like before?

I remember a message from a book friend, hoping that I would not forget my original intention, but now it seems that I have completely forgotten it.

Today should be safe code words, but you can flip through this month's update, inexplicably self-deprecating.

After pondering for a long time, I always felt that if I continued to be decadent, maybe I really wanted to be a eunuch as some people said.

Baigen to eunuchs, this irony is too deep!

I want to cheer up, just for an ending, just to regain my original intention, just for myself who worked hard back then.

Therefore, when I promise ten more, but only five more, when I promise again and again unfulfilled, don't be sarcastic, don't ridicule, I promise, I want to forge ahead, I want to work hard, I want to find a goal for myself, and I don't want to be decadent.

Whew, these words have been held in my heart for a long time, and I can finally say them in one breath.

Perhaps, there will be people who are sneering, and there will be people who keep spraying, blacking, and scolding.

But, after all, I still say it, and I just have to think about it.

In the next two days, I slowly found my form, hoping to get back to my former self as soon as possible. r1152