Chapter 21: The Child Without a Home

For a long time, I stopped my grief.

Sun Shangxiang bowed down and held my face with both hands: "Let me take a good look, I haven't seen you for a few years, Adou has grown taller, and my mother is afraid that it will take some effort to throw you into the sky again." In the past few years, you have been doing well, how did you come here? ”

My heart was gloomy, my throat choked, and I couldn't speak.

Sun Shangxiang asked, "But did your father ask you to pick me up?" ”

I shook my head blankly.

Sun Shangxiang stood up and said, "So, your father is married again, is it true that the Wu family is the princess of Hanzhong?" ”

I never thought that she would know about it, and I didn't know how to answer, but I heard her already laugh, and the laughter was cold and poignant: "Yes! That's nice! What a Liu Xuande! You are dozens of years older than me, and I don't dislike you; I don't blame you for being out of the army for many years and not coming home; For you to return to Jingzhou, I showed my head and angrily reprimanded Xu Sheng Ding Feng, keep you safe, you are away from home, I will take care of your young son and guard the city. But when I go back to Soochow, you don't send someone to welcome you back, and now you have stopped marrying another wife, and I will take a few breaks, and what face will I have in the world! ”

I was at a loss, and as soon as the tent door opened, a person had already broken in: "County Lord, what happened?" "It's Zhou Shan.

Sun Shangxiang turned to Zhou Shan and said, "Zhou Shan, haven't you always liked me?" Didn't you swear to protect me all your life from a young age? Now I decide, marry you! ”

I felt like a thunderbolt, my hands and feet were cold, and I was overwhelmed by the sudden change. I looked at Sun Shangxiang in disbelief: "Mother, what are you doing?" ”

"What to do? He did the first year of junior high school, I did fifteen, I want to be grandly Sun Shangxiang, after Sun Wu, my father is the world-famous Changsha Taishou, my mother is today's Guotai, the eldest brother is the world-famous Jiangdong Xiaobawang, the second brother is the commander of Jiangdong, the male side, the smart and benevolent purple-haired general, which point is not worthy of your father? ”

"Mother, don't say that, my father is wrong, but how can Zhou Shan be worthy of you?"

"Whether he deserves it or not, it's not your turn to interject."

"Mother? Don't say that, Adou is sad to hear, don't you want Adou to do it? ”

Sun Shangxiang's lips trembled, and the resentment, pain, and pity in her eyes changed back and forth, and finally turned into iron-like coldness: "Who is your mother?" I forgot, General Liu, you just came to tell me that your father was married, right? Thank you for your kindness, do you want to stay and drink a glass of wine from my Sun Shangxiang? ”

Enough, I don't want to listen to it anymore, this cruel reality made me break my liver and intestines, and my tears fell like broken threads, I covered my ears with my hands and cried: "Don't say it, I can't think of it, my father doesn't want me anymore, you don't want me anymore, I won't rely on anyone in the future, only on myself, I'm Adou, I don't rely on anyone!" ”

I ran and cried, and my voice was hoarse, which made the little female soldiers look at me and snicker. They treat me like a teenager who doesn't know anything, and they don't know what kind of sadness the person who is crying in front of them has it.

When I found Zhuge Qiao and the others, I only said: "Go back." And he fainted. When he woke up, he was being questioned at the city gate, and suddenly Zhou Shan came on horseback. I know that I can't escape this time, Sun Shangxiang has broken off with me and refuses to ask me, so arrest me, kill me, I don't want to move.

However, the city gate was opened, and the soldiers let us out of the city, and then Zhou Shan took us all the way to the river, and led a document from the Eastern Wu to Zhuge Qiao.

In the meantime, he doesn't look at me, and I don't look at him, although we have known each other for a long time, I am not as strange.

The boat went upstream, the Yangtze River was surging, the waves were rushing to the sky, the wind was howling, the bones were cold, I wrapped my clothes tightly, but my teeth were still chattering.

Zhuge Qiao and the three of them took turns to ask me worriedly: "What's wrong, what's wrong, you are talking, even if you don't speak, you can cry, what happened?" ”

I choked in my throat, and I moved, and moved, and gradually forced out a shrill hiss like autumn insects, and I finally cried.

I looked at the Yangtze River and cried loudly: "I have no home!" I don't have a home anymore! ”

The cold apes on both sides of the strait wailed in unison.

Because my health was too poor, I had a high fever on the boat, so I got off the boat in Jingzhou, didn't dare to enter the city, and went directly to Mr. Shuijing's village. After half a month, my body gradually recovered. But I never mentioned what happened in Koto, and I didn't care about the outside world, so I just pulled Mr. Shuijing all day long and asked him to give me a lecture.

Confucius, Mencius, Han Feizi, Confucian Legalist, Zonghengjia, as long as he speaks in the heavens and on the earth, I will listen. He was tired of talking, so I lay on the table and drew a map of Dayu Dingding that Cui Zhouping taught me, although this map is not exhaustive, and it cannot be used for combat and killing, but it allows me to understand the world. Sometimes Jiang Wei and a few people pulled me out, and I would fight with them, whether they wanted to fight or not, I would rush up like crazy, even if I was beaten to the point of bleeding from the mouth and nose.

I refused to let myself be idle, even for a moment, I was afraid that I would not be able to support it. But I can't fall, I have too many unfulfilled wishes, I'm Adou, but I'm a Adou who wants to stand up on my own!

I even felt like I had gone crazy. Jiang Wei, Zhuge Qiao, and Wang Rui looked at me like a madman.

One day, Mr. Shui Jing took me out of the village. Next to the villa was a small hill, and we slowly climbed up it. The gentleman looked in the northwest direction, where the mountains stretched.

"On the other side of the mountain, there is the border of Hanzhong." His voice was faint. My eyes jumped. "There is a person in Hanning, named Zhang Lu, there is a sect in his family, called Tianshi Dao, because he is paid for joining the sect and five buckets of rice, so it is also called five buckets of rice. Speaking of Zhang Lu, he is actually not a genius, and it can even be said that he is unfortunate that his father died when he was very young, and only he and his mother are there. His mother looks good and knows some magic, so she is loved by Liu Yan, the Taishou of Yizhou, and even sometimes, they are happy in front of Zhang Lu. Zhang Lu stayed in Shu in this way, and suffered the ridicule and cold eyes of the Liu family. And in this sect, there is a person named Zhang Xiu, who claims to be the orthodox master of heaven, teaches the law everywhere, and ridicules Zhang Lu for being useless, relying on his mother's relationship to have a foothold. At that time, Zhang Lu called the heavens unacceptable, the earth unspiritual, and the hardship, he had told me several times that he only wanted to die at that time, but he couldn't, because he still had the Heavenly Master Tao to pass on. In the end, he succeeded, he developed the Heavenly Master Dao to an unprecedented peak, and he ruled Hanzhong for almost thirty years! The sky is like a round cover, the land is like a chess game, the world is black and white, and they are fighting for honor and disgrace! How can there be smooth sailing. The Son of Heaven is the head of all the people and rules all directions, but now he is just sitting in the palace city, and the day is not safe; Cao Mengde attacked all the eight tables of Weizhen, but there were also Puyang attacking Lu Bu, Wancheng fighting Zhang Xiu, Chibi meeting Zhou Lang, and Tongguan meeting Ma Chao. What's more, you are a child, more than ten years old, you will move Jingzhou, and take Hanzhong lightly, it is already a very good situation, so why lament. ”

I listened quietly, and then I almost smiled bitterly, what is the name of Jingzhou, what is the light of Hanzhong, which part of the force is made by me, and which thing brings me real benefits. Thinking about what Mr. Shuijing said about Zhang Lu, and then thinking about how he supported me to go to Hanzhong, and Zhang Lu gave up Hanzhong so easily, my heart suddenly flashed: "Sir, Zhang Lu in Hanzhong is your ......"

"No, no, it has nothing to do with me, remember, all this is your work, although your father does not recognize it, but everyone else is blind?"

"Blind people are not blind, I have become the situation in front of me." After a pause, I suddenly said, "Sir, it was you who persuaded Zhang Lu, so did you think that he would have such an ending?" ”

"Of course I thought of it, and I also told Zhang Lu about this possibility, more than others, it is all due to chance, you can seize the opportunity to block Cao Cao, he can put down his burden and hand over Hanzhong, this is all due to chance, personal choice, and it has nothing to do with others. Whatever you choose, bear it. Everything in the world is like this, there is no absolute right or wrong, only the gains and losses in the depths of your heart, just look at what you gain and what you lose! ”

"What is gained and what is lost? I have always thought that the most important thing in heaven and earth is family affection, but when I was born in this family, I no longer felt any family affection. I wanted to change the world, but I moved farther away from the center of power. Zhang Lu has the Heavenly Master Dao as a pillar, so he refuses to give up, and what goal do I have that I can't give up? ”

"The people of the world! For the sake of the people of the world, how can you give up? ”

"The people of the world!" I remembered the four ink-drenched characters that Zhang Lu wrote to me, and smiled bitterly, "The people of the world? Liu Adou has been busy in his life, he doesn't know everything, he is not knowledgeable, and he can't even match the posture of a Chinese person, how dare he set up such a grand ambition? ”

Shui Jing smiled: "Yes, you are just a middle-aged person, thesis, you are not as good as Zhuge Qiao, on martial arts, you are not as good as Jiang Boyo, on being smart and penetrating, you are far from Wang Rui." But is this the reason why you don't dare to make up your mind? ”

"Are these the reasons why you don't dare to make up your mind?" I chewed on this sentence and smiled slowly, "Sir, thank you for your enlightenment, no matter what happens to me in the future, I will keep your words in mind, I can be stupid, I can be stupid, but I can't give up my ambition." Adou has no home, but he can't lose his ambition, in this life, whether I can change the world or not, I will stick to this goal and go on! ”