Chapter 2: The Depths of the Soul
Before today's conference, which was both a puzzle and a "game", the fourteen or fifteen-year-old crazy girl in Xiazhuang felt like a frightened deer, trapped in a miscellaneous forest in the wild: not far from her was lying a "male wolf" with a broken leg, and even more terrifying, another "female wolf" was lurking in the "black hole" beside her—no one knew—but she knew!
When she heard the director of the peace at the assembly say that the unkempt and sloppy man was a "demon" with a strong demonic spirit and deep demonic poison, she was immediately stunned. Next, the old director's speech made her feel strongly shocked. Thinking about what she had seen and heard at the conference, and thinking about the situation she was facing, she was overwhelmed. I originally thought that the man who looked like a dog was just a pervert with a human face and a beast's heart, and she hated him and was afraid of him in her heart. God, who would have thought that he would still be a "demon" - a scheming and evil "demon" like the legend? The crazy girl used to think that whoever was stuck to the pervert would cause a fuss, but now she thinks that the "demon" is more terrible than the "pervert"!
What's even more unclear to the crazy girl is when her own mother was glued to "him"? When was it that I was stunned by that "demonic energy...... Later, I didn't know what I did in that "black hole......
Didn't Mo Ergou say that the demonic aura on his body was very deep, ouch, it seems that the sins he committed outside must be very heavy. It's not right, if that's the case, you should have pulled him to rob him, why did you send him back to his hometown? The more the crazy girl thought about it, the more confused she became, alas, that's the government's business, it's the business of the top, and she can't manage it so much, so let's think about how to deal with the dog men and women who are both "wolves" and "demons". The crazy girl thought for a while: Alas, this side is the mother, and the other side is the ...... For a moment, she felt helpless—she wanted to pull away and run away from them, but how could she escape.
By the time the meeting was adjourned, it was time for lunch every day. Men, women, and children scattered from the brigade headquarters in all directions hurried to their respective homes.
The mad girl shuffled back with heavy steps as if she had lost her soul. In front of her eyes, the "demon" that was "knocked out of its original form" appeared again and again—and then flashed out of the "black hole"—and flashed out of her mother's figure...... In her ears, from time to time, the old director's repeated words resounded: "If your parents have a problem......
When she thought of her mother, she couldn't help but be taken aback even by herself: "Could it be that my mother has really become a "banshee" with demonic energy?" But my mother is not the kind of "white bone spirit" who hides her bad intentions and wants to harm people. My mother is a little ruthless and fierce to the bad guys, and some people call her 'Little Pepper' behind her back. But my mother is good to good people. Putting aside this "good" and "bad", let's talk about the life of my mother and ordinary people: whether it is relatives, friends or neighbors, whether it is the elderly or children, almost no one can say what my mother is not. Alas, who would have thought that she would hook up with the "demon" who had only been home for a long time...... Alas, how many single men are there in this world, why is my mother blind-isn't it really that the bad man has cast some magic or released some demonic energy and stunned his soul?
The more crazy girls think about it, the more scared they become, the more they think about it, the more they resent, and the more they think about it, the more they resent.
The madgirl didn't want to go home even if she thought about it—she was afraid of her own home, and she was even afraid that people would see her. She turned into the sorghum field by the side of the road and lay down on her side, tears dripping down the sorghum leaves and sliding into the dirt. She casually pulled down a green leaf and put it in her mouth—she felt like she had accumulated a lot of dry firewood in her heart, and it was very hot, as if it was about to catch fire—the sorghum leaf should have a "cool" taste, but how did it become bitter when chewing in her mouth? Her eyes were obviously looking at the green of the sorghum, but what flashed in front of her eyes was still the face of a "demon......
Next, the minx thought of herself—
Oh, it seems that my mother is now inseparable from that "demon" - what about herself? You yourself said that you and your mother did not "live together", who would believe it? As the saying goes, "mother and daughter are connected", what kind of mother there is, what kind of girl there is - this can be wronged to death, although my mother and I are "mother and daughter", there has never been a "heart" - especially in the treatment of the "demon": she is such a heart, I am such a heart. This is probably the difference in "thinking" that the old director said at the conference. Perhaps, my mother's mind has long been problematic, and it's a big problem - but I don't have a problem. But "thoughts" are hidden in the brain, how can others see and see clearly? How can I let people see clearly, how can I let people know that my mother's "thoughts" are fundamentally different? There is only one way: take the "match" that the old director has already struck, and put it on the "dry firewood" in my heart - "pop" on the ground - the fire is soaring: it illuminates my and my mother's hearts brightly!
- If that's really the case, then my mother's face will be embarrassed, in case she can't think about it, I can't live without my mother! My mother is different from other people's mothers. Because my father is a fool, it's not all my mother's worry about big and small things outside the house. When the foolish father didn't leave us, he had the strength, he could work, and he did heavy physical work, and his mother just had to say something. But after the death of my stupid father, my mother worked even harder, she was alone in charge of the big and small things outside the home, and the hard work was carried by her thin shoulders.
Alas, why do you worry about your mother when you think of lighting that fire? It seems that there is something wrong with my thinking. At the root of this problem, it is still the "theory of human nature" that is being criticized......
Oh, looking back, if I hadn't lit that fire, outsiders wouldn't have known about my mother, at least not yet, and I wouldn't have been implicated. No, no, even if outsiders don't know, but now I know. Oh, the "mind" thing is really weird: if you don't realize something "special", you will live with a normal state of mind, but once you realize something, the mind will never settle down. I just thought that my mother was an "indecent woman", and I could tolerate "immodest women". But now I realize that the mother's problem is much more serious than that of "unserious women": one is a problem of life style, and the other is a problem of class position! If I knew that my mother had a very serious problem, but I deliberately pretended to be confused to hide it, or even cover it up...... Then there is something really wrong with my mind. In the words of the old director, it is "tied" with the parents in question - the old director emphasizes "binding", oops, this is terrible! Besides, if I still turn a blind eye now, then my mother and that sinful "demon" will really fall deeper and deeper. If you make a decision now and fight hard with your mother, maybe you can still make her stop at the precipice. Yes, I can't take it anymore - I can't take it anymore, but I'm not going to light that fire for now, I have to go back - go back and fight the "lurking" "Banshee" to the death! Then, take a look at her attitude and performance, and then ......
The mad girl came home and saw no trace of her mother—the meal was ready. Where can she go at noon—this big day, ......? The mad girl walked into the sheepfold, and the two sheep were grazing, and they didn't notice anything unusual. Now when she looks at this sheepfold and this yard, she feels as if it is different from before, and the whole family is different from the past - now it has suddenly become a ghost den of the lurking "banshee", and she even feels that there is a "ghost spirit" in her mother recently: doing ghost things at home, and going out seems to be doing ghost things again.
After the crazy girl ate, she and the other two young women in Xiazhuang went to the brigade headquarters to rehearse the theatrical program. After she returned from school, she had already joined the brigade's literary and artistic propaganda team.
When it gets dark, the madgirl comes home. My mother is grinding in the east room. From the momentum of the grinding disc and the strength of the mother's waist twisting, the crazy girl understood in her heart: "The mother is guilty of another crime."
Mothers are different from other people's mothers: other people's mothers encounter grievances, difficulties, or hurdles that cannot be overcome, and nine times out of ten they are crying, or wailing, or sobbing. Most of the crazy girl's mothers blocked the cry in their hearts - tears still flowed silently. Even in tears, she admonished herself: "Don't fall!" She gritted her teeth and devoted almost all of her strength to farm tools or other tools necessary for "eating" - with the belief that "you must live" to support the bitter and even sad strength.
The crazy girl used to admire her mother in her heart, and she felt that although her mother was a woman, she was more manly than some men. But at this moment, in the eyes of the crazy girl, the mother's original strength has become obsessive, and even stubborn. Because she knew in her heart that the thing her mother committed in her heart was not because of her mother herself, nor because of her daughter, but for the evil man. She must have thought of his pitiful appearance at the assembly with his head bowed and bent over to catch his breath, and her heart was sad.
When the mother saw that her daughter was back, she stopped grinding, and shouted while picking up and down the ground: "Resist".
"Resist" is the name of the Mad Minx. Originally, it was named "Anti-American". Later, my mother felt that she had to fight not only against US imperialism, but also against other bad guys, so she changed her name to "resistance". In fact, the name of "resistance" also implies another layer of hope for the mother: the daughter will grow up in the future and be like a boy - because she only has such a daughter.
The crazy girl didn't respond, she rushed into the east room angrily, grabbed the kitchen knife on the stove, and slashed down on the dining table behind her mother......
The mother turned around in surprise and saw that the knife and her daughter's eyes were staring at her. She was frightened by her daughter's sudden move, and her face changed, and the words she said also changed her tone: "Child...... You...... What's wrong with you......"
"Don't pretend to be confused, I ask you, do you want that sinful wild man, or do you want me!"
"Don't get excited, kid, what's wrong with you?"
The mother's heart is really confused: a few days ago, the girl said that she didn't care about her mother's business, why did she suddenly become like this now? Could it be that he went to a meeting in the morning and knew that ...... "he" was a "demon"? What about the "demon", why does she care so much? Maybe I was scared by the old director's speech, but I was a child.
"Don't ask me, ask yourself first. Tell me, if you want him, I'll leave now, and I'll never come back!" If you want me, you're going to cut him off – it's broken!" ”
The mother was stunned.
"Looks like you can't go back, okay, then I'll go......"
The mother grabbed her angry daughter, "Child...... My mother wants you, my mother wants you...... Mother can't live without you, mother can't lose her daughter......" Mother burst into tears.
"If you let go of your hand, will you be able to catch me? I'll put the ugly words in front first, from today on, as long as I get caught once, I will leave this house immediately, leave this haunted house, you will cry to death, and I will not come back! ”
The mother was speechless, just nodded her head indiscriminately.
The crazy girl thought for a while and said, "From today onwards, no matter what clothes you wear, including underwear and underwear, you can't take it to wash it." And the hair......"
The mother was stunned again, but looking at her daughter's eyes, she still nodded.
"Where have you been at noon?"
"Yesterday someone brought me a message saying that your second aunt was sick, very sick and hospitalized. I didn't go yesterday, and I have to go to a meeting again this morning, noon...... I'll just take the time to see her......"
The mad girl was skeptical.
The mad girl had dinner and went to the brigade headquarters to rehearse the show—and didn't come back until after ten o'clock every night.
Despite this, the mother still sweated in her palms: she is clearly guarding herself now, who knows if she will come back early? If you happen to go out by yourself, then ...... She might be able to do something. Alas, this is the daughter--mother can't lose her heart; It's "him" over there - how can you leave "him" behind your eyes...... If you say it's broken, it's "broken......
The mother and daughter of Xiazhuang are the same as many mothers and daughters in the world: the mother-daughter relationship is deep! But they are different from other mothers and daughters: in the daughter's heart, the mother's soul has been "demonized" by that man; In the mother's heart, the daughter's heart has been deeply pierced into the "wedge" that others don't know......
Are mother and daughter still connected? - Each of them is tormenting himself in the depths of his soul......