My childhood was depressing.

The town of Heilong was without power most of the time, and after dark, the dotted oil lamps came on. At that time, my friends and I were playing vigorously in the dirt outside, sweating profusely, when we heard my mother's shrill cry: "Dongzi! ---Go to bed! ---"

Thinking of that distant scene, happy, and sad.

When I got home, the house was dark, and in order to prevent mosquitoes from flying in, the family blew out the lamp early, of course, the main reason was to save lamp oil.

The long darkness has nurtured my imagination.

I lay in the dark and listened quietly.

The chickens in the nest are huddled together, and they sleep standing up. It was as if someone had stepped on whose foot, with the occasional muttered mutter.

Lazy pigs "snort" in the pen.

A listless dog barks.

The water in the sauerkraut jar bubbled.

What insects flutter their wings on the window.

The purlin seemed to be overwhelmed, "squeak", **.

A clear snoring sound came from a neighbor's house.

A distant man shouted something......

When I was 7 years old, one night I dug out a lot of old photos in a box at home and looked at them under an oil lamp.

The oil lamp blinked wearily in the darkness, and the smell of oil was pungent.

Most of them are old black and white photos, yellowed, and I don't know anyone on them. The era, place, people, clothes, expressions in the photo...... It's very old.

"This is your grandfather." My mom said.

The old man in the photo is wearing a black shirt and black pants, sitting in a precarious position, with a rigid face.

"This is not my grandfather?"

My mom thought about it and didn't seem to know what to say to me. My dad interjected and said, "This is your own grandfather." "

I didn't seem to understand, so I kept scrolling.

My mom pointed to another photo and said, "This is your grandfather and your grandmother." "

The grandfather and grandmother in the photo are also wearing black clothes and black pants, with stern and cold expressions, as if I have done something wrong, or my parents have done something wrong.

They've been dead for many, many years, and I haven't seen a single one.

I'm scared of their eyes.

Is that how they look when they get married? I thought so at the time.

"Who is this?"

I pointed to a picture and asked my mom. The photo shows an old lady who looks and looks a bit like her grandmother.

"It's ...... Your grandfather's cousin. After my mother finished speaking, she turned her head and asked my father, "What should Dongzi call her?" "

My dad thought about it and said uncertainly, "Call Grandma, right?" "

The people in Heilong Town do not move, they are either blood relatives or in-laws, relatives near and far are like the roots of a tree, and relatives like aunts are actually as light as water.

The reason why my family has pictures of my aunt is because the countrymen have the habit of collecting photos, relatives, friends, and neighbors, densely covered with a photo frame, hanging on the wall, as an ornament.

I looked at my aunt in the photo, and suddenly I felt that this old lady was a little familiar, as if I had seen her somewhere......

There was an old lady who once gave me a popsicle at the door of the supply and marketing cooperative. At that time, her popsicles were not sold out, but it was raining, and it was impossible for anyone to buy her popsicles...... Not her.

During the Chinese New Year, the people who came to run the dry boat, and the gongs and drums beat happily. I burrowed into the crowd and accidentally bumped into an old lady who turned around and glared at me viciously...... Not her.

I had a fever, and in the middle of the night my dad carried me to the health center for injections, and when I walked down the dark corridor, passing by the door of a ward, I saw an old lady lying on the dirty bed, with a pale face and eyes full of despair and sadness. The nurse said she was going to die...... Not her.

I tried to think about it, but finally I didn't remember.

It must have been a long memory, she used to flash before my eyes. There were thousands of such shots in my 7 years of life that I couldn't capture her......

"Where is Grandma now?" I asked.

"She's dead."

"But, I've seen her!"

My mom was stunned for a moment and said, "Where have you seen her?" "

"I can't remember. I've definitely seen her, though. "

My mom looked at my dad, then at me, and said, "Don't talk nonsense, kids. "

At night, I heard my mom and dad whispering something in the dark. They thought I was asleep.

I was dazed, and I felt that their voices were extremely secretive. I could hear that they seemed to be talking about me.

In the distance, there was a child crying faintly, very slowly, extremely miserable, certainly not just a matter of not being able to find a home.

As mentioned earlier, I was born at noon, and the sunflowers were golden and open.

About half an hour before I was born, my mother was screaming on the kang when someone sat in front of my house and cried.

He's a madman, I don't know where he came from.

He was in his mid-30s and had a dusty face. He wore a tattered padded jacket and trousers, which were empty and did not even have a vest. Barefoot, with scabies on his feet.

He cried very miserably, as if a great tragedy was about to be staged.

Three or two passers-by stood next to him and watched the bustle.

The midwife whispered to my dad that this matter was a bit unlucky.

My dad didn't care: "A madman, ignore him." "

There was a teenager in the neighborhood who let the dog bite the madman.

The dog was a snob, and a dog rushed up, and the dogs of the neighborhood rushed up, and the people who saw the bustle fled in terror, while the madman continued to howl and not even open his eyes.

Strangely, the dogs did not pay attention to the madmen, but pounced on the few who had escaped. It wasn't until the men ran away that they turned back and surrounded the madman.

You bite the padded jacket, I bite the padded pants, and the madman is dragged to the ground, raising a cloud of dust.