First of all, the third-grade sister's ghostwriting is just a joke, don't take it seriously. If you take it seriously, give me a chance and I'll be reincarnated as a third-grade elementary school student right away, so as to end my humorous life of stating that I can do a non-laughing challenge on TV.

Also, I really didn't ask for a ghostwriter, and the reason for the split writing before and after the resurrection was because I just wanted to end it quickly and end this time in prison. But in the end, I felt that it was a sloppy thing to write anything in such a state. So instead of continuing to mess around irresponsibly, it is better to extend the battle line, that is, to delay the completion of this novel to a later date.

When the time comes, you will either come back and finish it, or you can simply restart the novel.

So it seems that the eunuch has finished the book, but in fact, I haven't completely surrendered in my heart, thirty years in Hedong, thirty years in Hexi, one day this book will win the resurrection and change its name and surname to reappear in the rivers and lakes, and then it will not be called "Mythical Dreamer" This kind of name at a glance, many imitation elements added on a whim for the sake of popularity will also be passed.

Although the plot of this book has been almost forgotten, it will be reviewed a little.

The main reason why I can't write this book is that I didn't think about it properly when I opened the book.,At that time, I read the history of the grievances between Jin He Zai and Mr. Jiangnan.,For a while, I had a brain fever.,I wanted to write something related to Wukong's biography and the style of the dragon family.。

It's a completely impromptu idea. The character design is also moved from the previous book. There is no outline. I opened this book with confidence, thinking that I could still be as unprepared, unforeshadowed, and logical as I wrote "The Old Chess Player", and rushed to the end in one breath just by relying on momentum.

Then I found a serious problem.,I was able to finish writing the last book with momentum because the last book itself didn't use much brains to supply the hot-blooded teenager comic style.,And this book I tried to change the style.。

So if the content is too rough, it will seem very fragmented, and it is baating only by momentum, so I began to follow this rough beginning and the world view to grope for the way forward, and found that it was really walking on thin ice, and in the end there were still a lot of rough places.

The mood during that time was mixed. This casual novel has refreshed my historical record, and at 250,000 words, 6,000 have already been booked to the line of big masterpieces. As a newcomer, the second novel can be regarded as a gradual progress, and the editor also said that there is a chance to keep the plot in ten thousand times.

But because I am too demanding of myself, all kinds of facts always remind me that this book is a bad work on a whim, is it really meaningful to continue writing just for money, this number gave birth to such a work, it is better to change the number and restart, and so on and so on and so

I once wanted to finish each book with a tenacity like my idol "Deedaloth", but I was also judged by the spiritual mentor "Little Notes" who was drunk and fanned, and I wanted to finish this novel.

(Here Amway's "Original Hunter" by the teacher of "One Shot Drunken Soul", and his postmodernist abstraction after his rebirth, the very philosophical and spicy satirical masterpiece "Black Sails", the difference between the two books can't help but make people sigh: Genshin Impact changed the trajectory of a person's life)

But in the end, I chose to put down my pen in a dilapidated state, so as not to continue to leave words that I didn't even want to see, which would be the real catastrophe.

At this time, I was reading Deeda Rose's only "unfinished" novel "Listen to the Ice Girl", and remembered his famous quote "Wait for me Lv5 to restart the Ice Girl", so I started the road I never imagined, Plan B, and chose to temporarily dust this novel and restart it in the future. (From his current "Who made him play Go!") Judging from this book, lv5 is already a sure thing, presumably the ice girl is expected to restart)

Of course, I was extremely anxious during this time. I was thinking about whether not writing for a long time would make me lose the ability to continue writing, so in order to maintain my writing ability, I rushed to the shelves of several works, all of which died at the speed of light (sad), and I pit the Meteor Editor and Canaan Editor before and after, and finally my mentality exploded, I started the autistic mode from childhood to adulthood, deleted all my friends and even the editors I knew, and disappeared for a period of time in self-isolation, and even thought that maybe writing was not for me.

I thought that if I hadn't dropped out of school due to auditory hallucinations and schizophrenia, I might have gotten a relatively sound personality. Because every time I went to a crowded place, I wanted to cover my ears, and when I was a child, I didn't even dare to go to the cafeteria in the boarding school, and I still remember the experience of being hungry all the time, and finally chose to drop out of school and lock myself up. At that time, I was researching a career that could survive even if I didn't have to go out, and then I felt that writing online articles should be suitable, anyway, it's a big deal that such a life ends early, at least I don't have to worry about others, so I embarked on the road of passion and chasing dreams without any scruples.

Years of self-isolation have made me mean, but I don't use this as an excuse to run away from everything. In fact, it's very likely that I didn't inherit my grandfather's high auditory hallucinations and schizophrenia, and growing up in a normal atmosphere, I still have a high probability of becoming a geek, so it's just a bad character.

These illnesses are a part of the daily routine, and since they have long been taken for granted, they are no excuse. The vast majority of the reasons for poor writing are just lack of ability, and using various external factors to cover up the essence of lack of ability is in essence a very sad and cowardly behavior.

I don't like to make excuses for myself, but I've made a lot of excuses for myself before, but I've basically deleted those individual chapters, so in the eyes of some readers, it seems that the book seems to be broken and inexplicable, and there is no explanation at all.

The shame and self-expression that I tried my best to cover up at that time, and the self-expression that came with losing control of my emotions, now seem to be irrelevant, so I can retell it calmly.

First of all, I quarreled with my relatives at my grandfather's funeral, ran away from home, and broke off all family ties and came to a strange city to rent a house, and it was really a time of anxiety, after all, as a person who has been locked in his room because of auditory hallucinations, I have never run out so far alone, and the lack of life ability has allowed me to adapt to it for a long time.

I don't think anyone in my family can really understand the pain of me and my grandfather, who was pushed around by adults because of schizophrenia, and I basically went wrong with normal people's lives because of schizophrenia, and had an extremely painful childhood.

So I don't think that any relative or family member has the slightest meaning in educating me except him, and to me whoever tries to educate me in this situation is a pure miscellaneous, a fool without self-knowledge, a self-righteous idiot. If I had the chance, I would love to let these smiling so-called relatives also experience the pain that my grandfather and I experienced, the pain that we never had to choose, but had to endure.

But when I came home during the Chinese New Year this year, I found that my mood was much calmer, and I felt that everything didn't matter.

I once wondered why I was the only one in the family who inherited my grandfather's mental illness, but then I thought that maybe all this was predestined and inescapable, and the only choice I could have was to accept it instead of feeling sorry for myself.

I'm a person who hates exposing myself, and that only makes me feel uneasy, so all the act of venting my emotions and exposing myself and confiding in me is weak and disgusting to me.

I don't think these are excuses, really strong people can do what they want to do no matter what kind of environment they are in, and the so-called chasing dreams is not a temporary dilemma, or a natural defect can be hindered.

It's been a bit of time since I started writing, and I've never thought about what the point of writing is. At first, I just wanted to make money to support myself, after all, people like me who are not well educated, paranoid and ignorant exist in this world, and most of them can only produce some assembly line works that have no meaning and cannot exist meaning, and it is very stupid to think about meaning.

But after I solved the problem of food and clothing by writing, I slowly began to feel that maybe I should have a meaning, a meaning to support myself to continue writing.

Since I don't like to be educated, and I don't have sufficient cultural literacy, then of course I shouldn't use words to express any self-righteous truths, so I probably won't, and I can't, bring anyone any meaningful thinking through my works. But that doesn't mean you can't inspire others.

So when I figured this out, I realized that the point of my writing was just to encourage people who are also flawed, and that pursuing their dreams is something that can be achieved no matter what. Speaking of which, I was only 19 years old when I wrote the book "Old Chess Players". Although it was a shoddy work that compromised a lot in order to sign a contract, it was naïve, criticized, and scolded very badly, but at that time, I had a manuscript fee of nearly 20,000 yuan a month because of this book.

So those annoying relatives who used to preach to me no longer preach to me. It's better to say that they are no longer qualified, and the qualifications that they should not have in the beginning have finally disappeared completely. Those disgusting faces that made me want to vomit gradually disappeared from my life. Everything was taken for granted, and I even wondered if my life was a big single-player game, they were just NPCs, and the meaning of their appearance was just to make me look forward with resentment.

Then again, during this time of self-isolation, I felt like my mindset had shifted.

I understand that I am only 20 years old, and I can write for the next 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, and my career as an online writer has just begun. Rather than giving up on oneself, every step forward is progress. It's not so difficult to admit a momentary failure, but being too sensitive will only make it difficult for you to move.

So I'm going to take every step of the way with a better mindset and quietly, even though I know that I may fail many, many times.

Maybe I won't be writing on this anymore, but I'll keep going.

This article is just an explanation of yourself.