A philosopher once asked the question: How would a person view their past self?

More than 50% of the respondents answered the same question.

- Disgust.

The person who knows himself best is himself.

No matter what you have achieved in the past, the deep impressions left in your memory are not actually the joy of success, but the frustration, guilt, and unwillingness caused by failure.

Most of the traces left on the soul are remorse.

It's everyone's black history.

In his own eyes, it is the crystallization of unforgivable stupidity and arrogance.

……

The sun is shining and the sun is just right.

Tao Rushu's quilt was lifted, the sunlight shone on her face, and she suddenly felt too dazzling, and the quilt covered her head, like a vampire princess trying to escape the sun.

Until the quilt was completely lifted, a loud voice sounded.

Syllable!

She clutched her ass and turned over, blushing and gritting her teeth to look at the presumptuous comer, her face full of resentment.

"Get up, when are you going to sleep, sister."

Another smiling girl stood by the window and sighed into her palms: "If I don't get up again, I will come again." ”

Tao Rushu said helplessly: "I don't want to get up." ”

"That's not good, I have something to go out today." My sister shook her head and sighed, "Get up quickly." ”

“…… I dress. ”

"You're sleeping naked again?"

"Hmm."

My sister opened the wardrobe and found a good-looking match: "Hurry up and change it, and then go downstairs to wash, sure enough, my sister can't do without me." ”

Tao Rushu opened the bed, sat up, and felt slightly strange the next moment, as if someone was shaking his shoulder to speak.

She looked around, and there was no one.

"Sister?"

"Nothing ......"

"You're having nightmares again, they've all said you're under too much mental pressure." My sister muttered: "There's no need to be so stressed, it's not that the family can't afford to support you." ”

The sister walked downstairs.

Tao Rushu didn't take what had just happened to heart either.

Yes, she has always been under a lot of mental stress, occasionally having nightmares and dreaming of some messy things, such as another world or something...... Although I can't remember anything in my dreams, it can also affect my life, so I take medicine every day.

After washing, she came to the living room, where breakfast was placed on the table, an old couple was sitting at the table, the husband was holding a newspaper in his hand and wearing reading glasses, and the wife was serving a meal.

"Dad, Mom......" Tao Rushu shouted, for some reason, after shouting these two times, her nose was a little sour.

"You didn't sleep yesterday, and I heard you talk in your sleep in the middle of the night." Mom took a few steps closer and rubbed her face: "Remember to take your medicine well." ”

"There's no need to rush into higher education." Dad's voice was kind, he took off his reading glasses, and comforted: "If you are in a bad mood, stay at home more." ”

"Thank you."

"You kid, what kind of family is polite."

Tao Rushu sat down and ate breakfast silently.

She and her sister are twins, raised by an elderly couple, and although they are more than forty years apart, they have never felt alienated.

After Tao Rushu finished breakfast, her sister ran to the hall, picked up the rice bowl and drank the porridge, then picked up a cucumber and put it in her mouth, and immediately wiped her mouth: "Dad, Mom, I took my sister to the hospital." ”

"You kid, what are you doing in such a hurry, let's talk about it after eating."

"I'm full!"

"Eat the cucumber before you go out, it's too uneducated to hold that one!"

In the shouting, Tao Rushu was pushed out of the door by her sister.

The weather was very good, she looked at the blue sky and white clouds, and felt that it was just a trance and the scenery changed.

In front of her was an old-fashioned old doctor holding a flashlight to her eyelids, which made her shrink back in fright.

"Who are you?"

The old doctor touched his chin and asked, "Amnesia again?" ”

"Sister...... Are you distracted again? My sister was worried.

"I'm ......" Tao Rushu looked around, this is the office of a hospital, and the department is a psychiatric department.

The old-fashioned old doctor's badge with the words 'Zhao Moumou' written on it is the chief of the psychiatric department and the attending doctor here.

Dr. Zhao said, "Your condition is still not good, let you come for a review once a week, you have to delay." ”

My sister asked cautiously, "Director, is my sister okay?" ”

"It's hard to say, if it goes on like this, it's not impossible to develop autism...... Has she been getting more and more reluctant to go out lately? The old-fashioned doctor sighed: "Many autistic people are like this, constructing a world in their own minds, which is enough to justify themselves in their own opinion. ”

Tao Rushu lowered his head.

The younger sister held her palm and said worriedly, "My sister has also been dreaming and trance a lot lately. ”

"This is the current situation of mental instability, we have to try to keep her away from those places that will cause mental stress, and it is best to stay in a safe scene." Doctor Zhao subconsciously touched his bald head: "For you, you should stay at home to recuperate." ”

"But, but I still have ......" Tao Rushu subconsciously wanted to deny it, she always felt as if she had something to do.

"Heal the sick with the disease!" Dr. Zhao snorted.

"Priority in cure!" My sister also insisted: "It's a big deal, I'll go outside to deliver food to support you!" ”

Looking at the girl who was exactly the same as herself, Tao Rushu smiled silently.

She also felt as if there was nothing to hold onto, and it was good to stay at home.

has a warm quilt and cares about her family, why should she care about that ethereal dream?

"This is medicine, remember to take it after meals, two meals a day, one at a time, and one more if the situation is aggravated." Dr. Zhao prescribes a drug to stabilize his mind.

The two sisters left the hospital.

Halfway through, Tao Rushu looked at the roadside scenery while walking, and his mood improved a little.

My sister met an acquaintance walking the dog halfway, so she ran up to pet the dog, and I don't know which group friend reincarnated as a dog licking her palms and calves, making people laugh.

The three of them and one dog came to a café and sat down, and my sister and friends went to order a drink.

Tao Rushu was alone for a while, and while she rubbed the dog's head, she suddenly thought...... Do you have no friends?

"Woo ——!"

The dog barked.

Tao Rushu lowered his head, and then saw the dog head in his hand, and he didn't know when it turned into a human face.

The scene in front of her changed abruptly, and she was in a bloody spot, surrounded by a group of wandering corpses.

She held a head in her hands, sat on the pile of bones, and embraced it in her arms, silently crying blood.

"Sister, sister?!"

"Huh?" Tao Rusu came back to her senses, let go of her hand, and the dog broke away from her hand.

She looked at her sister, "I'm distracted again?" ”

"Sister, take a pill." My sister opened the pill box and poured out a blue pill: "It will feel better to eat it." ”

Tao Rushu hesitated for a second, but seeing her sister's insistent expression, she took the blue pill and took it.

Suddenly, the tinnitus that surrounded my ears was far away, and the illusory feeling disappeared.

The surroundings are still beautiful, no longer a terrifying scene with blood rain.

Tao Rushu breathed a sigh of relief, and his conversation became natural.

"You sisters have a good relationship."

"Of course, we're twins, sisters."

"But no matter how good it is, it may be separated in the future." The friend held his cheeks: "After all, we will also start a separate family in the future." ”

My sister puffed out her cheeks: "I won't be too far away from my sister, and I'm not willing to hand my sister over to a bad man." ”

My friend laughed and said, "If you always want to get married, so do you...... Speaking of which, do you have anyone you like? ”

The younger sister immediately crossed her hands: "No." ”

Tao Rushu took a sip of coffee and said to himself, "Probably, yes?" ”

"Sister??" My sister's voice raised an octave: "Why didn't I know there was such a thing?" ”

My friend was also immediately interested, and came up to ask, "Who is who, who is who?" ”

Tao Rushu dodged back: "That's it, him." ”

"Him?"

"Hmm......" Tao Rushu rubbed his eyebrows, he couldn't think of it for a while, and he didn't know if it was because he had taken medicine, so it was extremely difficult to recall.

The younger sister suddenly said: "Oh, my sister's childhood sweetheart, I used to go to Hawaii for a while, and then I was playing with my sister in the playground that day, and suddenly disappeared." ”

"Isn't that the childhood sweetheart of the two of you?" The friend longed: "It's good that the two little ones have no guesses, I also want this kind of young taming." ”

"He's not that good, and a couple of girls are not clear, huh!" My sister spit on me: "I hate scumbags!" ”

"Do you have a picture?"

"How could I keep a photo of him, the flower carrot should be sentenced to no wife!"

"Don't say that." Tao Rushu tugged at his sister's ear: "Others are very good." ”

"It's my sister, my elbow is always turned out." My sister was upset.

My friend smiled and asked, "It would be nice if we could see each other once, otherwise, it would be better to hit the sun another day?" ”

My sister pouted: "My sister is still recuperating, what are you doing by calling him over to increase mental pressure?" ”

Tao Rusu took the initiative to change the topic.

She still couldn't remember who he was, what his name was, and only regarded it as a side effect after taking the drug.

After drinking coffee with my sister and friends, I went home.

After having lunch with my parents, my sister fell asleep on the sofa, and she also went back to her room, feeling as if she had nothing to do for a while.

As soon as I walked to the bedside, I felt a wave of sleepiness.

Unable to resist the desire to sleep, she collapsed on the bed and soon fell into a deep sleep.

She had nightmares again.

No, it's not so much a nightmare as a strange dream.

It was as if she had dreamed of a date, a date that made her heart and soul immersed, visiting the old town, rowing across the lake, having a candlelit dinner, and when she was about to kiss him under the witness of the fireworks, she caught a glimpse of the reflection in his eyes.

The face reflected in those dark eyes was not herself, but another face.

Tao Rushu sat up, once again awakened by fright, she touched her cheek, walked to the front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror, and confirmed that she was still her.

She smiled suddenly: "It's just a dream." ”

She was about to leave, when suddenly the mirror shattered, and a hand reached out of it, grabbed her palm, and dragged half of her body with great difficulty.

White bones can be seen in the wound on the palm of her hand, Tao Rushu's head suddenly became clear because of the severe pain, she stared at the young man who came out of the mirror, and she didn't know what to say for a while.

The moment the young man saw her, he showed a bloody smile: "I've kept you waiting." ”

"You are ......" Tao Rushu subconsciously wanted to call out his name.

"Hold my hand, I'll take you out!" He said.

Just as the boy finished saying this.

The door was pushed open.

It was like the projector was overturned, and the boy disappeared directly, the broken mirror and the wound on the palm of his hand completely disappeared, and the pain lingered faintly.

But what happened just now was an illusion.

"Sister!" My sister rushed in and hugged her: "Are you okay?" Is it another nightmare? ”

Tao Rushu looked at the disappearing scene in bewilderment, her head ached violently, and she took a few steps back.

My sister carefully helped her to the side of the bed, and whispered, "If you don't feel well, just rest well, I'll sleep with you tonight, okay?" ”

"That's right," she poured a glass of water, opened the pill box and took out two blue pills, "take some medicine, and you won't have nightmares again." ”

Tao Rushu looked at this blue pill, and suddenly felt an inexplicable resistance in his heart.

"What's the matter, don't you want to eat?"

"Bitter ......" Tao Rushu found a reason.

"Afraid of bitterness? My sister is so big and afraid of hardship. My sister said helplessly and dotingly, "I'll pour you some honey water." ”

After saying that, he ran downstairs in his pajamas.

Tao Rushu sat on the edge of the bed, sweating profusely at some point.

Everything just now didn't seem like an illusion at all.

It's too real.

She clutched her head, trying to remember who the young man was.

No, I can't remember.

She slapped her head, hating only that her memory was not clear.

At that moment, something slipped from her clenched right hand and landed right in front of her line of sight.

It was one, a red pill.

(End of chapter)