I used all my strength to cry out in front of the queen mother's couch. Come and go, and there are only a few words - the queen mother! Queen mother! The crane is back! The crane is back to the queen mother! Mother, open your eyes and look at me, I am a crane, a crane.

I wanted to ask her why she didn't wait a little longer. I want to tell her that I'm back soon. But...... I don't have a face! I don't have a face!

Back then, it was me who didn't say goodbye, and I was the one who cruelly avoided her for so many years. From birth to now, there has never been a moment for her to reassure me.

So......

How could I blame her for not waiting for me?

If I had come back a few years earlier, if I had not been so selfish and not so timid, at least the Queen Mother would have taken me by the hand, touched my face, and said, "My crane has grown up."

If I could not worry so much, I could come back a little earlier with warmth and smell and desperation. Perhaps, the queen mother will be quite satisfied with the daughter-in-law of Leng Nuan. And Wen'er can also eat the candy given by his imperial grandmother.

If I come back, even if I can't get the mother's forgiveness, at least, I won't leave a lifelong regret.

I watched as the queen mother's eyes were closed, and there was no longer any anger in her body. Although there were two lines of frozen tears on his cheeks, there was a smile on the corner of his mouth. Suddenly, all kinds of flavors came to my heart.

She...... It's happy, right?

A delicate girl who grew up in Jiangmen's mansion, but she has carried a burden that does not belong to her for so long. Now Heaven has finally taken pity on her and wants to take her away. While resting the burden, you can also get together with your father under the nine springs. I think...... She must be happy.

But the queen mother ...... Son, I really don't want you to go at all.

Over the years, even though my son knows that you will be vulnerable, he always feels that you have the ability to turn the tide and can handle everything properly. So, of course, it has been wayward for so long. Also rightfully stubborn, and self-righteous for so long.

But today, when I see you, who used to be peerless, lying here motionless, I suddenly regret it.

Queen Mother, the son is wrong!

If I could turn back the clock, my son would have appeared early. Even if you beat me or scold me, I won't let you die, and I'm still worried about me, an unfilial son.

I knelt down in front of my mother and took her hand. Her hand is not as smooth and delicate as it used to be, but when I use it to caress my cheeks, I can still feel the warmth in them.

The people kneeling behind me were Brother Yan, Yi'er, their children, and Uncle Russell.

From the moment I popped up until now, I know that everyone has a lot of doubts in their hearts. But seeing me so sad, I couldn't bear to ask.

So, that's it. Everyone accompanied me to kneel in front of the queen mother's dragon couch until the queen mother's hands and feet were cold and stiff.

……

According to the rules of the palace, the descendants must guard in front of the coffin of the queen mother until the first seven years later, and then enter the imperial tomb.

So, a few of the older nephews and nephews accompanied us to the vigil, and the younger ones were sent back to the house.

For seven days, Brother Yan, and Yi'er did not leave their mother. The three of them knelt like this in the order of the eldest and youngest, from day to night, and then from night to dawn.

I thought the two of them would have a lot to ask me, and I was a little apprehensive. Yes, if they ask me why I have refused to come back after all these years, how should I respond in front of my mother?

But who knows......

A day passed...... Two days passed......

Until the body of the queen mother was sent to the imperial tomb, they did not say a word to me. He didn't even call me a royal brother.

I know they're going to blame me after all. Blame me for making the queen mother so worried, blame me for refusing to come back to see them.

They won't forgive me, never will.

It's okay, that's fine.

The queen mother has passed the crown prince to Brother Yan, and he is in this Tanglin country, I can rest assured. And I, after all, am the one who is leaving. In this case, it is better to go without worry.

If you don't ask, I don't have to answer. Anyway, I don't know how to answer.

……

When the queen mother entered the imperial mausoleum, I kowtowed to her nine times.

Three, is for me.

Three, is for the cold and warm.

Three, for Wen'er.

Queen Mother, if you have a spirit in heaven, may you rest in peace.

My son is not filial and didn't come back to see you early. Failing to bring your daughter-in-law and grandson back to give you filial piety is not the son's fault. Now, on behalf of your daughter-in-law and grandson, I will kowtow to you. May you be able to reunite with your father without regrets.

……

Coming out of the imperial mausoleum, he accidentally met Uncle Russell's eyes.

I remember that when I returned to the capital a few years ago, Uncle Russell was still very young. Now, after only a few years, he has also aged a lot.

Especially when the queen mother was gone, he became more and more emaciated.

Uncle Russell looked at me with a very indifferent look, no surprise, no doubt, no love, and no curiosity. It's like looking at an old friend who is just nodding his head, cold and indifferent.

Brother Yan saw that the elders were there, so he took the initiative to speak and said that he wanted to return the throne to me. I wouldn't say yes to that.

- I have married a wife and had children abroad, and your imperial sister-in-law is an isolated person who does not like to be exposed to red dust. The child was also very indifferent with her. Still looking forward to ...... Brother Yan is complete, don't force me anymore.

I know that this sentence is really hurtful and selfish. But so what? Ever since I decided to leave the capital, I have been inseparable from selfishness.

In that case, let me be selfish to the end.

……

When I ruthlessly refused Brother Yan to leave, Yi'er chased him out of it.

"Brother Huang!"

It was the first time she called me in so many days.

I listened to Yi'er's crying voice, but finally stopped.

She ran towards me from behind, hugged my back, and clasped her hands very tightly, "Brother Huang, don't go...... Don't you go...... I beg you, don't go. ”

I closed my eyes, and my pretended chic posture was finally replaced by tears, "Yi'er, don't make trouble." ”

"No, I didn't make a fuss! Brother Royal...... Even if you don't want to be the emperor and don't want to take over this country, please don't leave. I have no mother, and I can no longer live without you. Brother Royal...... Yi'er, please, please......"

I tried to break Yi'er's hand, but Yi'er refused to let go of "Brother Huang...... Don't you go, will you? ”

"Yi'er, you're already an adult." I was ruthless and said, "Brother Huang is already very satisfied when he sees that you have become his own son and that your husband is gentle and considerate to you." There is no feast in the world that will not be dispersed, you must be obedient. ”

"Nope! You see that I am happy and satisfied, but I don't want to be left with regrets for the rest of my life. Yi'er shook her head desperately, "Brother Huang, I promised the queen mother." If you come back, be sure to take care of you. I can't let you go...... Can't ......"

"Fool, you are a sister, how can you take care of me?"

I felt slightly funny, and I also understood the hard work of the queen mother. She must be afraid that after Brother Yan ascends the throne, there will be no place for me in the world. That's why I will explain Yi'er and let her take care of me. But the queen mother, glory and wealth really don't matter to me at all.

"Why not?" Yi'er sobbed and asked, "Take care of it, regardless of respect or inferiority." We are a family, relatives whose blood is thicker than water. It's each other's responsibility to take care of and support each other, isn't it? ”

"Brother Huang is doing well, you don't have to worry." When I heard this, I finally turned around and wiped the tears from my face for Yi'er, "Yi'er, you're right. As a family, we should take care of and support each other.

Now that you are married and have your own husband and children, you should put more thought into your own small family. And the royal brother has also become married. I should go back and take care of your sister-in-law and your nephew. ”

"Where are they?" Yi'er opened her eyes wide and asked me, "I'll send someone to fetch them back!" ”

"Yi'er, be good." I touched Yi'er's head, "Everyone has their own pursuit and happiness ......"

"You talk nonsense!" Seeing that my attitude was so resolute, Yi'er finally took a few steps back, "Brother Huang! Isn't it good for a family to live together? Why you have to go!

Even if you don't want to be the emperor, it doesn't matter. With Yan'er here, he will govern the country well. You can live in the capital, as long as you want, you can live in your grandfather's general's mansion!

Our brothers and sisters are all in the capital, and we can bring our children to gather when we are free. Wouldn't it be nice if there are any difficulties that can be carried together? You bring your sister-in-law and nephew, and our family will not be separated for the rest of our lives......"

"I'm used to the ...... outside"

"Impossible!" Yi'er shook her head desperately, refusing to listen to my explanation, "You can't get used to life outside, and you can't get used to it!" For so many years, we have been looking for you for a lot of hardship, waiting for you to wait for a lot of hardship, do you know?

When I was a child, you just walked away, completely ignoring the feelings of the people who stayed. Now, do you want to do it again? Brother Huang, you said you would protect me for the rest of my life, you can't lie to me! ”

I listened to Yi'er's words, and my heart was very difficult.

Go, it's a must. If not, wouldn't it be a good idea to live up to the warmth and coldness?

Although I didn't know why Leng Nuan refused to leave at first, the more time I got to it, the clearer it became in my heart. The reason why Leng Nuan didn't come was because he knew that I didn't want to stay in the capital anymore. So, I left an excuse for me to go back.

However, Yi'er had already cried into tears at this time, and refused to listen to my explanation at all. How is this good?

"Brother Huang......" Xu Shiyi'er saw that I hadn't spoken for a long time, so she called me again, "Brother Huang, are you not leaving?" You tell me where my sister-in-law is, and I'll send someone to pick it up! I'll arrange a mansion for you...... Otherwise, if you want to live in the palace, you will become ......."

"Yi'er" I was afraid that Yi'er would become more and more addicted to the fantasies I would leave behind, so I had to interrupt, "We have all grown up and become parents. A lot of things, really can't be forced. ”

"Can't force it?" I admit that Yi'er's stubbornness is very similar to that of the queen mother. At this time, she stared at me with a pair of red and swollen eyes, and asked, "Have you forgotten what you promised when you were a child?" You said that you would protect the queen mother and protect me for the rest of your life!

You didn't protect the queen mother! You let her provoke the whole world by herself, and let her stay up all night worrying about you.

We can forgive you if you don't say goodbye. You haven't been there for years, and we don't blame you. But now, now that you're back, shouldn't you keep your promise to protect me, my only sister! ”

"You now have a brother and a husband......

"But I just want you!" Yi'er shouted at me, "You are my brother, you promised to protect my sister." I just want you to protect me...... As long as you ......"

When I heard this, I closed my eyes in despair, "But, when I was a child, I couldn't do anything." ”

When I was a child, I couldn't count.

Just this sentence completely pushed Yi'er into the abyss.

"What do you say? Scold...... Can't count? Yi'er's body seemed to be evacuated, and the whole person wilted, "You who loved me so much when I was a child, and now you actually say such hurtful words in order to leave!" Brother Royal...... You're ruthless! ”

After that, Yi'er asked again, "You're leaving, aren't you?" I ask you, if I tell you, don't come back if you're gone! After leaving, there will be no more sister like me, no brother like Yan'er, and you will have to leave too, right! ”

"Yes......" I replied slowly.

Even if you have nothing to do with me, I will still go.

Ever since I made the decision to leave, I never thought about coming back alive. To be back now is just an accident for me.

Since so many years have been missing from each other, what should have been estranged has long since been estranged. As...... Then they cut off contact completely.

"Good!" Yi'er bit her lip and nodded, "You go!" There you go! After leaving, don't come back for the rest of your life! Even if I have the fate to see you again in the future, I won't call you Brother Huang again! Every Chinese New Year, Qingming, you will never be allowed to worship the queen mother! ”

Even though, I know that Yi'er is just talking angry. But I still smiled and nodded, and said, "Cherish." ”

When I turned to leave, my steps were heavy.

Yi'er behind her was like crazy and began to cry and shout. Her husband tried his best to hold her and coax her, but he couldn't calm her down.

I listened to her heart-rending cry, and I was very distressed.

Can......

I have lost the right to coax her.

I walked step by step, and there was silence around me. I suddenly tasted loneliness, and I suddenly felt a deep helplessness.

Since then, I really don't have a home in the capital.

The father and the queen are gone, and the queen mother is gone. Uncle Russell treated me like a stranger, and Brother Yan and Yi'er would hate me for the rest of their lives......

This is what I should be! I'm so selfish, I deserve to be hated.

But what can be done?

When I didn't want to come back, I was afraid that my mother would throw the country to me, so I ran to find my father. Later, he was reluctant to come back because he felt ashamed of his family. Now I don't want to stay because of my cold and warm identity.

She is a demon, not a human.

The capital is so prosperous, which is extremely unfavorable to her.

We are just looking for a quiet place to live behind closed doors. Like Yi'er's fantasy, helping and supporting each other, it is impossible to get together with children when you are free.

Besides, Wen'er is still young, and I don't know what she will look like when she grows up, and I can't let my wife and children take such risks!