Memories are like a wolf, pulling buried bones out of the snow and chewing them carefully in the bitter winter.

In fact, Liu Yiyi knows that no matter how many tears and flesh and blood those memories are in her heart, it is almost a cliché to say it, no one wants to listen to it, not even friends, it's too common. Chewing on memories is lonely. Countless people, women, like themselves, are chewing in silence, chewing carefully. Memory, like death, belongs to the individual.

At that time, Liu Yiyi was still studying at the University of Finance and Economics, and she was admitted to this prestigious school in the provincial capital from a remote county. When she was in middle school, she was the leader of the class, and the head teacher, Ms. Liao, said to her several times: "Yiyi, you have to go out, go to a big place, and do a career." Her demeanor at that time left a deep impression on Liu Yiyi. Liu Yiyi feels that this is her ideal, and only when she realizes it can she be worthy of Teacher Liao, her parents, and herself. The teacher's attention gave her a layer of luster among her classmates and also gave her a sense of self-confidence. Sure enough, she was admitted to the University of Finance and Economics, which means everything to a girl in a remote county. The classmates were all envious of her, and her mother was so happy that she went crazy, and when she met someone, she asked each other's children where they were doing, and then the topic changed, talking about Liu Yiyi and the University of Finance and Economics. Liu Yiyi is everyone's pride, and she is also the treasure of the treasures. After a year in college, her confidence was frustrated, and she went from standing out from a flock to a flock. There are many smart people in the world, let's just say that Miao Xiaohui, who is in her lower bunk, loves to dress up, loves to socialize, and is a little foxy, but she can do it in the exam. Liu Yiyi originally looked down on her with a hum in her heart, but after a year, she obeyed her, and she gradually got used to that little bit of fox, and became a close friend. In her sophomore year, Liu Yiyi saw herself through and was not a person who did big things! You can't do big things, you still have to do small things. The little thing is to find a good job, a good man, a house, and a child. Thinking of this, she smiled inwardly, and her face was a little hot. This is giving up and fighting, she has a deeper understanding of herself as a woman, and even a little bit of self-awareness. What else, woman.

She did not suffer from giving up her lofty ideals, but felt relieved and relieved. After relaxing, she painted a male image more and more clearly in her mind, but when she wanted to concretize that image and find the prototype around her, she fell into confusion and confusion. It's not like, it's not like. Unconsciously, she has a new ideal, a new obsession. With a new ideal, she is not in a hurry to realize it immediately, she is not yet twenty years old, it is still early, it is still early. It's not good to be as impetuous and hurried as Miao Xiaohui, as if she is racing against time. Life is like the sea, you only need a scoop of water, as long as a scoop. She felt that it was also a kind of happiness to put the uncertain image of a boy in her heart and carefully depict it, slowly savor it, and gradually become clear. Youth promises expectation, but also promises self-confidence and pride. This youth is not illusory, but it has weight in the hand, like gold. She experienced the romance of the golden years.

During the winter vacation of her sophomore year, Liu Yiyi was tired and tired of staying at home, no matter how her parents kept her, she still went to school in advance, planning to take a good look at her English and compete with other students in the fourth-level exam. In the morning, her mother sent her to take a long-distance bus, and she coquettishly said, "Dad, people want you to go too!" As he spoke, he hit his father with his shoulder. Dad said something was wrong, she stuffed the bag into Dad's hand, and Dad went out with her. On the way, my father said, "Yiyi, my parents are just your daughter, do you know?" Yiyi pursed her lips and said, "Really? Don't you say I don't know yet! Dad smiled and said seriously, "Do you know, do you understand?" Liu Yiyi thought that her father was afraid that she would not work hard and be unproductive, so she came to knock her, so she said: "Dad, do you think that Caida is the No. 1 middle school in our county, and there are only a few bodhisattvas?" If I finish my course on time, I will be worthy of you. Dad said, "You are a girl, I don't expect you to fly into the sky, but don't plant yourself on the ground, do you understand?" Don't make your mom and me sad. Liu Yiyi didn't understand, she seemed to understand a little more, but the more she understood, the more she didn't want to understand, so she simply didn't make a sound. Dad sent her to the station and went back, Mom went to buy a ticket, returned to her and sat down and said: "Your dad has a heart, he sees that you are going to dress up when you come back this time, you are really a big girl, I am afraid that you are not strong enough, I can't hold my breath, I want me to send you, tell you, and say it thoroughly." Liu Yiyi twisted her body, twisted her head to the side, covered her ears with her hands and said, "Mom, what are you doing?" Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen! Mom took her hand off, put it on her lap and said, "It's good to understand, and remember." Remember. Don't make your dad sad, and me. Liu Yiyi twisted her body desperately and said, "Hey, hey, hey, yes, it's annoying!" Mom touched her hand, didn't make a sound, and said to herself as if she was sneaking up for a long time: "All the consequences are borne by the woman." Then he turned to her, "You pity your father, and me, huh?" He clasped her hand tightly and shook it.

Bring sand to the beach. Liu Yiyi was sulking all the way, her parents' worries were really too much, what did they think of themselves? I think it's ridiculous, I don't have any confidence in my daughter? You have to calm down, you have to have concentration, what are you talking about! The more Liu Yiyi thought about it, the more aggrieved she became, and decided that she would make a phone call home when she arrived at school and vomit out all the grievances in her stomach. When I arrived at the school, the campus was empty, and not only did I not see a few students, but I also couldn't see the teachers. When I got to the bedroom, I took out the key and couldn't open the door, and the lock was put on top from the inside. Liu Yiyi was so happy that she had a companion, and shouted excitedly: "Who is inside?" Open the door, I'm Yiyi! After stopping for a while, there was no movement, she thought that she might be asleep, and shook the door desperately: "I'm Yiyi, I'm Yiyi!" Someone inside said, "Wait a minute." It was Miao Xiaohui's voice. Liu Yiyi was even more excited: "Xiaohui, hurry up, hurry up, I'm Yiyi!" Hurry up! I'm Yiyi! And he pushed the door louder. After a little more waiting, the door opened. In addition to Miao Xiaohui, there is also a boy. Both of them looked at her and smiled, looking a little strange. Liu Yiyi seemed to sense something, but she couldn't believe it. Looking at the boy again, I couldn't see anything, looking at Miao Xiaohui, with two cloth slippers of different colors under his feet, a man and a woman. She put her bag on her bed, but her eyes glanced at Miao Xiaohui's bed, and she couldn't see anything, the quilt was folded well, and the blanket was not messy. The boy said to her, "Come with us to dinner." Miao Xiaohui said: "Do you think Yiyi can be invited casually?" I want to ask you to give her a few drops of blood next time. As he spoke, he put his arm around Liu Yiyi's shoulders and went out with the boy. walked to the door, turned around, put the index finger of his right hand to his lips, and gently shushed Liu Yiyi. Liu Yiyi nodded hurriedly.

Liu Yiyi was still suspicious and confused in her heart, but Miao Xiaohui sighed like this, but she suddenly felt enlightened. They? She didn't expect Miao Xiaohui to dare to do things that way, and she was so bold, in the dormitory! What if today you don't bump into yourself, but into someone else? She was really anxious for Miao Xiaohui, thinking of where to find her back, and give her a little advice from her friends, even if she was unhappy. Only in this way can you be a real good friend. Liu Yiyi was a little excited about her sincerity in friendship, and immediately ran downstairs, standing in front of the dormitory building, looking around, there was no one. The wind whirled the leaves and swirled at her feet. She shouted "Xiaohui" and ran around the campus for a while, but she didn't find it. Back in the dormitory, Liu Yiyi was very depressed, and she didn't have the heart to eat, so she grabbed a handful of things in her bag and ate them, climbed to the top bunk, hugged the quilt and sat down, and took out English books to read. She held the book in her hand, staring at the lines of words, but her heart was scattered, thinking about things that were not boundary, but her eyes refused to leave the book, as if she was angry with herself, and as if she was deceiving herself.

Liu Yiyi didn't know how many times she had turned in her heart, but she still came back to Miao Xiaohui, and she couldn't think about it if she was angry. This inner stubbornness surprised herself, as if her mind were not her own. Her eyes were staring at the door, and her ears were also very sensitive, looking forward to Miao Xiaohui coming back, so that she would be out of danger, and she had more than a hundred questions to ask her, such as, what should my parents do if they know? What should I do if I get pregnant? If your future husband is not him, how do you pass the test? What if you don't like him anymore? What if he doesn't like you anymore? Many, much, much. The small alarm clock ticked and was very real, and the small sound accentuated the silence of the room. This silence made her feel irritable, and she hated in her heart, Miao Xiaohui, this girl, she hasn't come back yet!

At ten o'clock, she was desperate, turned off the lights and went into the bed. In the darkness she opened her eyes, as if she wanted to see through what was behind the darkness. She was still worried about Miao Xiaohui, it was so late, she was still outside, and she didn't know what state she was in now. Thinking of the word "state", a vague picture flashed in Liu Yiyi's heart, and her whole body trembled. This tremor gave Liu Yiyi a sense of self-reflection, was she worried about her, or was she jealous? She didn't dare to face this problem, was she really so nasty? After asking this a few times, she seemed to give herself a kind of acquiescence, indulging herself to recall the appearance of the boy, indeed, he could be regarded as a sunny boy. Liu Yiyi conjured up a lot of uncertain figures of the sunny boy in her heart, one hand shyly groped on her body, hesitantly, she still reached into her underwear, groped gently, and inadvertently stayed in those special places. She felt a dampness in her heart, a dampness tinged with narcissism, and suddenly, in the darkness, she chuckled a few times secretly.

At past eleven o'clock, Miao Xiaohui hadn't come back yet, and Liu Yiyi finally made up her mind not to wait. She got out of bed and went to the water room to relieve herself. Walking to the door, she felt that the dampness was well-founded. She stepped out of the door with one foot, paused there for a moment, and stuck out her tongue a little ashamedly.

Liu Yiyi didn't sleep well that night and suffered from insomnia. She thought about what her parents said to her in the morning, she knew about Miao Xiaohui in the afternoon, and she was so uncertain at night, is there any mysterious connection between them? The small alarm clock was ticking, and she felt the rhythm of time in this soft sound, and another curtain of life quietly opened in this rhythm.