The black night soothes the homeless souls, making them no longer look as lonely as daytime, accepting the blame of the world and the cold eyes of people. Liu Zhixi huddled alone in the corner of the dark room, crying bitterly. This is the fourth time she has cried bitterly, the first time is when her parents died in a car accident, the second time is when her grandmother leaves, and the third time is when Lao Lei died, and this time, her pain is so fierce and urgent, like walking into a dead end with no way out, forgetting her starting point, just falling into a dead cycle of confusion and grief. Liu Zhixi went back to Chencheng to attend Zeng Xiao's funeral.

She never knew that he was so sick, and when they went to visit Lao Lei together, he had actually been diagnosed with a malignant tumor during the physical examination, but he took everything alone and didn't tell anyone. Zeng Shengli and Pan Jing got together again after separation, but on such an occasion, they regretted it, and the doctor said that the long-term poor mood also greatly affected Zeng Xiao's condition.

The great-father and great-mother regretted it and collapsed on the spot, but they were powerless to return to the sky. They accompanied Zeng Xiao in his last days, it was the early morning of August, the fragrance of nightshade had not yet dissipated, the foggy sky was a little bright, Zeng Xiao did not moan in pain as usual. He seemed to be in a better state than a while ago, he had a deep dream, and after waking up comfortably, he said to Pan Jing that he wanted to eat osmanthus cake. The osmanthus cake was bought, but his breathing stopped forever.

On the day of the funeral, the weather was cold in early autumn, Liu Zhixi was wearing a thin dress, feeling extremely cold in the wind, and her heart was like being placed in an ice cellar. Tears have become the most useless and powerless weapon to vent sorrow, it has been evaporated by time, leaving only a shocking white solid.

She walked to his coffin, his face was bloodless, his body was cold and stiff, as if he had completely changed into a person. She fantasized in her heart, yes, this is another person, this is not Zeng Xiao. When he was carried up to the hearse in the crematorium, she realized that from now on, in her long life, there would be no more his participation, no more his voice and smile, he was just a dream in the cold moonlight, just a symbol in the mark of youth that would not be filled in again. In this life and this life, there is already a separation between yin and yang.

Liu Zhixi chased the car hysterically, the rain stained her shoes and socks, and the mud stained her white skirt, but it was only in vain, and it was useless. In her hand, it was a letterhead written to her by Pan Jing and Zeng Xiao in her last days. The white letter paper, with a faint fragrance, is the handwriting that used to be free and elegant-

"Zhixi, today I have chemotherapy, the process is very painful, but I am not afraid, because it can allow me to survive in this world as long as possible. Because of this, I can think of you one more day, and every day I love you is a gift from God to me. ”

"Zhixi, in fact, I really want to study in college with you in the same city, but I am destined not to have you, so I can only carry the dream of loving you and go further, so that I can imagine that I am in the company of your love, and I have traveled all over the great rivers and mountains of the motherland."

"Zhixi, you tell me that you have a friend you have never met, named Nuan Yang. You know, when you tell me, how I wish I could be the warm sunshine of your life. It's a pity that in our world, you are not a tree that needs sunlight, you are a free fish in the deep sea. ”

"Zhixi, when you were a freshman in high school, you should never open the gift I gave you, just treat it as a secret. In life, there must always be some unknown riddles, it will be more exciting, may my appearance have added a touch of color to your life. ”

"Zhixi, I know that I am about to leave, I miss you so much, but I don't want to see you. I don't want you to see me like this, I hope that in your memory, I will always be the lively and energetic Zeng Xiao. ”

"Zhixi, I love you, I don't have the strength to write more, but my love is unfinished."

Liu Zhixi flipped through the pages of the letter, and her heart hurt so much that it became difficult to breathe, as if the air she inhaled contained a large amount of sulfur dioxide, and once she encountered tears, it turned into acid rain that corroded everything.

“Hello, everyone, today our topic is‘my family’.” Ye Zi wore a sleeveless bohemian dress that just accentuated her perfect body proportions and looked slim and tall. Her eyebrows are meticulously trimmed, and her two thin lips are smeared with dazzling lipstick for a natural and sophisticated look. She opened her lips slightly and said to everyone in a soft and sweet voice.

The students sat in a circle, and some people were already raising their hands and talking enthusiastically, but no one noticed that a trace of panic flashed in Liu Zhixi's eyes, and there were ripples of sadness in her eyes. No, not everyone didn't pay attention, there was one person who kept a close eye on her expressions and movements.

“Felice, please join us, talk about your family.” Luo Run's smile, like a torch, showed Liu Zhixi's uneasiness and apprehension at a glance, "Don't be afraid!" Luo Run continued to cheer her up, she looked at him hesitantly, but she couldn't read the meaning in his eyes.

She suddenly felt lonely and helpless, Su Huai was not by her side, no one gave her deep understanding, Leng Jiang was thousands of miles away, no one guarded her like a treasure, at this moment, everyone gathered together, but she was a duckweed without roots, swaying around, envious of the roses in the garden that were carefully cared for.

“Felice, you are wanted outside.” Xin Chenxi, who is also a teaching assistant at this institution, knocked on the door of the classroom and told Liu Zhixi. Liu Zhixi seemed to be stuck in the mud, and suddenly someone threw down a rope to save her, and she immediately grabbed it and went up. She hurried out of the classroom, but she told herself in her heart to be calm and calm, not to look like she had run away.

She walked to the door and saw Su Huai standing at the elevator entrance with a smile on his face waiting for her. "Zhixi! Are you free tonight? Su Huai's eyes were full of anticipation, "Uh, we have to study at night, but it's okay, I'll take a leave." Liu Zhixi tilted her head and thought for a moment. Oh, then we'll see you tonight at the Golden Horn Restaurant. Su Huai felt a little embarrassed, his face was slightly red, and his voice weakened, but when he heard Liu Zhixi's affirmative reply, he still showed a childlike happy smile.

"Zhixi, is that your boyfriend? He's so handsome! Yang Yufang, who was from the same school, happened to go out to pick up hot water, and she asked Liu Zhixi excitedly. Uh, this", Liu Zhixi felt that this sentence was so familiar, as if someone had mentioned it in her ear yesterday, but when she thought about it, it was a long time ago.

Nowadays, the world is impermanent, things are not people, time is a very strange thing, it is like a white horse passing through the gap, unconsciously, the world has changed, as if the world is separated, but we look back in the long memory, everything that was once is still as clear as yesterday.

"No, it's not, he's my cousin." Liu Zhixi's smile is like a mountain lily swaying in the wind, and her eyes are sincere and sincere. "Where did he go to school? Can you introduce me to me? Yang Yufang's eyes were bright, but her eyes were nervous. Yes, it's just that he's married and has three children. Liu Zhixi replied seriously, and Yang Yufang looked regretful.

In the past, in Chencheng, Su Huai liked to go to the Golden Horn Western Restaurant, Liu Zhixi followed him and Lin Sujin a few times, and he was very patient and meticulous to correct Liu Zhixi's posture of using knives and forks. Now that she and Su Huai are sitting facing each other, Su Huai deliberately changed into clean and decent clothes, cut her hair, shaved her beard, and cleaned her face with facial cleanser.

Liu Zhixi looked at him, with mixed feelings in her heart, when she saw him for the first time, he was still the sunny boy who was favored by fate, how eager she was at that time, to experience the scene at this moment, his eyes, gentle and quiet, all her shadows. However, after her grandmother passed away in a car accident, her life changed dramatically, she used to have hatred in her heart, she was only stabbed by roses, but ignored its beauty and richness.

Later, although time gradually caressed the scars in her heart, her feelings also passed away, leaving only pure friendship, because Leng Jiang had filled the gap in her heart. And now, the cycle of fate, they stared at each other, the distance is a stone's throw away, but they can no longer cross the ravine of time, although one step closer, it is not a cliff, but there is no way out.

"Zhixi, today is my birthday." Su Huai whispered, Liu Zhixi nodded, and she motioned for him to turn on the phone. Su Huai was unexpectedly delighted, "Zhixi, are you still keeping?" In his WeChat, there is a birthday card made by Liu Zhixi, and the background of the greeting card is a photo of them and Zeng Xiao and Lin Sujin on New Year's Day that year. Have the rhetoric of that time been realized? And the touching sentence "Definitely! We are friends forever", still ringing in my ears for a long time.

"Su Huai, do you know? Zeng Xiao, he left because of cancer. Liu Zhixi turned her face away, but the tears in her eyes were particularly obvious under the gorgeous chandelier. Bang", the knife and fork in Su Huai's hand unconsciously touched the porcelain plate. His eyes overflowed with infinite sadness, like a little beast trapped by a hunter's trap and unable to do anything, "When did it happen?" His voice was trying to keep his emotions calm. It was last month", Liu Zhixi looked at him in a low voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" Despite his efforts to calm down, Liu Zhixi could hear the excitement and dissatisfaction in his tone. "He didn't want anyone to know that I was the only one who went to his funeral except his parents."

"Why?" Su Huai's eyes turned red. "What, why?" Liu Zhixi asked sadly. "Why is it that only you know and none of us know? Aren't we good friends with Zeng Xiao? Su Huai's tone was indifferent, but he could feel the grief and struggle in his heart, "Is it because he has special feelings for you that go beyond friendship?" ”

"Su Huai......" Liu Zhixi didn't know how to answer, and called him in a low voice. Zhixi", Su Huai's eyes flashed, "When, you can also look at me, I regard you as the dearest person, the best friend." You know my feelings very well, but you put me in a dispensable position, such a big thing, why don't you tell me. You ask your heart, what am I really about? A wretched creature who just needs to be given alms? ”

Liu Zhixi's heart was like being scorched by fire, like thousands of termites gnawing at her heart. There is no doubt that she loves Su Huai, but she knows that it is impossible for her to fall in love with him again in her life. She did hurt him, but she couldn't make up for it, because she only had so much soil in her heart, and if she filled this piece, that piece would be vacant. Su Huai looked at her steadily, she explained apologetically, "Su Huai, I'm really sorry...... but her apology made even her feel pale and powerless. "Zhixi", Su Huai shook his head helplessly, "You're sorry, it's not me." And the most you can't live up to is yourself. “