Cowardice is the mother of cruelty. Cowardice is only a means of maintaining so-called security, but it not only curtails our ability to defend ourselves, but even drives us to the precipice of destruction, exposing us to calamities that we have never intended to offend us.

Fear stems from your ignorance of the world

This world is not terrifying, what is terrifying is the mustard in your heart, and human beings have always held a fear of the unknown that is close to awe. For example, ghost stories and ghost movies that we all feel afraid of, all of which have a characteristic of creating an atmosphere of absurdity and incomprehension. And what really scares us is not that ghosts hurt people, nor how ugly ghosts are, but precisely that kind of absurdity and incomprehension. Essentially, it's all about the unknown. Because you don't know what's going on, what's going to happen, you're in an unknown situation, and at this time, the fear comes very simply and directly, even if we know that we are safe at this moment, and we are not attacked and disturbed by any outside people or things, and the unknown of everything around us will make us afraid.

Near the school, Hai Yao met a rural lady standing under a tree selling cloth bags, a rectangular cotton shopping bag with a pattern on one side, which was quite cheap, only 1 yuan. So she bought 5 in one go.

The cloth bag was taken back to the dormitory, and the roommates asked where they had picked up the treasures, and they were eager to try to buy a few back. Unexpectedly, a careful classmate suddenly exclaimed: "Why is there a 'death' word on it!" "Look closely, the pattern of the cloth bag is surrounded by a circle of foreign languages, a few long words I don't know, there is no dictionary, but the middle of a "die" is shocking! If you look at the pattern itself, you can see that a few simple and strangely shaped color blocks are put together, and no one can tell what it is.

"I said it was so cheap!" "It must be the totem of the cult!" "Witch!" "Spell!" The roommates yelled.

Hai Yao was a little scared, no matter what bad luck happened next, the roommates would blame Hai Yao for buying that "unlucky thing", and Hai Yao was also very worried in her heart, for fear that one day she would fly into trouble. It wasn't until a year later, when she met a friend from the School of Foreign Languages, that the knot in Hai Yao's heart was untied, and the mystery of the "spell" was revealed: it turned out that the strange foreign language was actually German. "die" is a very common article in German, pronounced "earth", which is used in the equivalent of the English "the", which is used to modify feminine nouns, and the full sentence of "mantra" means "to protect the world's environment".

Looking back at the mysterious pattern, it turned out to be the plate of the seven continents of the world! has been nervous about this for so long, it really makes Hai Yao cry and laugh!

The reason why we are so afraid is often because we are afraid of ourselves, because we have imprisoned ourselves in fantasy. In fact, there are not so many horrors in this world, but we forced it out.

Of course, fear is an innate emotional experience. Wood in What Are You Afraid of? "Our first experience of the world is likely to be one of fear. We are forced to leave our mother's ** – a world of softness, warmth, tranquility, comfort – and enter this world – which is like a nightmare of light, noise, cold, pain. When a baby is born, its body tightens with fear, its face twists in pain, and its eyes are closed. Perhaps, the first emotion we have after breaking away from our mother is fear, and our first reaction is to avoid. "From birth, people are inevitably exposed to fears. In his book Learning to Deal with Fear, Ingres states: "We live in fear of all kinds. We are afraid of abandonment, of failure, of pain, of death. Our fear of God is fiction, our fear that life is nothing but a farce. We are afraid of strangeness, of getting pregnant, of getting old, of falling into helplessness, of being robbed, of being hurt, of seeing people hurt, of going bankrupt, of the stock market crash. Fear of not being loved, and fear of loving others too much; Fear of attention, but also fear of being ignored. Fear of strangers, fear of elevators, fear of making mistakes, fear of street ruffians, fear of rats, fear of earthquakes, fear of blood, fear of people coming to collect debts. ”

Fear is justified to a certain extent, and sometimes escape is also necessary, and for the sake of safety and survival, people can reasonably and necessarily choose to stay away from things that make them feel threatened, but the object of fear should be clear and real. If your fears are not really connected to the world, you are not very aware of what you are afraid of, and you are not very clear about where you are running away, then your fears are illusory, and the goal you are avoiding is contrary to the purpose of preserving life, which can be dangerous to life.

So, how do you alleviate your fears until you face them? The famous American psychologist Hawke advised: "When you are trying to overcome your fear, don't rush forward and let yourself face everything at once; It's bad to do so, and the results often backfire on what you envisioned, making your original fear suddenly increase tenfold. The best thing to do is to keep a little distance from the object of your fear, step by step, step by step. In this way, you will become more and more comfortable with the situation you are afraid of. ”

Fear will let the opportunity slip away

Opportunities always come with certain risks or difficulties, and if you are always afraid, you will definitely miss out on opportunities, so let go of your fear mentality so that you can seize opportunities.

There was a man who met God one night. God told him that something big was going to happen to him, that he had the opportunity to get a lot of wealth, that he would become a great man and that he would gain a prominent position in society, and that he would marry a beautiful wife.

This man waited all his life for this promise to be fulfilled, but in the end nothing happened.

The man spent his life destitute and died alone.

When he went to heaven and saw God again, he said to God in great anger, "You said you would give me wealth, a high social status, and a beautiful wife, but I waited all my life and got nothing, and you are deliberately deceiving me!" ”

God replied to him: "I have not said anything like that, I have only promised you the opportunity to get rich, a respectable social position, and a beautiful wife, but you have allowed these opportunities to slip away from you." ”

The man was confused, and he said, "I don't understand what you mean? ”

God replied, "Do you remember a time when you had a great idea, but you didn't do it because you were afraid to fail?" ”

The man nodded.

God continued, "Because you didn't choose, the idea was given to another person a few years later, and that person did it without any fear, and you may remember that man, who later became the richest man in the country." Also, when there was a great earthquake in the city, most of the houses in the city were destroyed, and thousands of people were trapped in the collapsed houses, you had the opportunity to help save those who survived, but you were afraid that thieves would come to your house to rob and steal things while you were not at home? ”

The man nodded sheepishly.

God said, "That is your chance to save hundreds, and that opportunity will give you great respect and glory throughout the nation!" ”

God continued: "Once you met a beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, and you were so attracted to her that you have never liked a woman so much, and you have never met a woman as good as her since. But you don't think she's going to like you, and you're not going to agree to marry you, because you're afraid of rejection, and you're watching her slip away from you. ”

The man nodded again, but this time he shed tears.

Finally, God said, "O my friend! It was her, she was supposed to be your wife, and you would have several beautiful little children; And with her, you will have a lot of fun in your life. ”

The man was speechless and annoyed.

There are so many opportunities around us every day, including opportunities for love. But we are often like the person in the story, who always stops because of fear, and the opportunity just slips away. Only those who seize the opportunity in time can achieve success in life; And in the eyes of those who are prepared, seize the opportunity to work hard to change themselves, and more opportunities will appear in front of them.

Opportunities belong to people with courage, and we often dare not try because we are afraid of failure, because we are afraid of rejection, because we are afraid of being ridiculed, because we are afraid of being ridiculed, because we are afraid of the pain of loss, we are afraid to make commitments to others.

Whether you can grasp the opportunity is really the key to determining whether you can succeed in life and whether you want to be happy. With a positive attitude towards life, our lives will be enhanced. Opportunity waits for no one, and don't let it slip through your fingers, or you'll get nowhere.

Fear prevents you from succeeding

Today, in terms of market capitalization, Apple Computer has become a super enterprise. For a long time, everyone only knew that the late Mr. Jobs was the founder of Apple, in fact, more than 30 years ago, he started a business with two friends, one of whom was named Huien's partner, who was called "the most discerning partner" by Americans.

Huien and Steve Jobs are neighbors, and both of them have loved to play with computers since childhood. Later, they teamed up with another friend to make microcomputers for sale. It's a business that's both lucrative and fun. So the three of them were very involved and succeeded in building the "Apple One" computer. In the process of preparation, they used a lot of money. The three young men came from lower-middle-class families and had no capital to speak of, so they borrowed money from everywhere and asked friends for help. Of the three, Grace was the most stingy, raising only one-tenth of the total fundraising of the three people. However, Jobs did not say anything, and still established Apple Computer, and Wynne also became a minority shareholder, owning one-tenth of Apple's shares.

Apple One was a hit when it first launched, selling nearly $100,000 and earning $48,000 after deducting costs and debt. Although it was reasonable for Hui En to get only $4,800 at the time of the distribution, it was already a huge return at the time. However, Wynne did not receive the dividend, but only took a symbolic $500 as a salary, not even a tenth of the shares, and rushed to quit Apple.

Of course, Hui Yan would not have imagined that Apple would later develop into a mega-enterprise. Otherwise, even if Wynne had done nothing back then and continued to hold that tenth of the shares, he would have been worth enough to reach $1 billion by now.

So, why was Hui En willing to give up all this back then? It turned out that he was very worried about Jobs, because the other party was too ambitious, and he was afraid that Jobs would be too eager for quick success, which would cause the company to bear huge debts, thus burdening himself.

At the same time that Hui En gave up his responsibilities, he also declared that he had passed by success and wealth.

In fact, there are not a few people who always want to escape like Hui En, and in today's society, "fear of things" seems to have become a disease of the times. In the face of responsibility, many people are "hiding and seeking". In the face of social pressure, many people are bent in the spine, and this behavior is also psychologically abnormal. Many experts who study mental health agree that people who adjust well, or who are mentally healthy, face challenges with a "problem-solving" mindset and behavior, rather than running away from problems and complaining.

From the perspective of successology, if a person does not dare to challenge the difficult life, he is drawing a prison for his potential. In this way, one's unlimited potential will not be realized, and it will be wasted. At this time, no matter how talented you are, it is difficult to make a breakthrough at work, and it is not new to encounter setbacks in the workplace.

From a psychological point of view, the feeling of waiting to be beaten is negative, and the process of waiting and the result of being beaten are frustrating. A person in the worst state of psychological condition either goes to collapse or to hope and light. The reason why some people have unsatisfactory experiences is largely due to the fact that their personal subjective consciousness plays a decisive role, and they choose to escape. If we can be kind to ourselves, accept ourselves, and constantly overcome our own flaws and avoidance, then we can have a more perfect life.

Defeat the devil in your heart

Fear is a devil from within, it will poison you, kill your faith, courage, and turn you into a complete coward, a loser. Therefore, you have to destroy it so that you can live an easy and happy life.

If you think you're really done, you've lost the chance to stand forever.

The two crossed the desert together, ran out of water, and one of them fell ill from heat stroke and was unable to move. The remaining healthy and hungry man said to his companions: "Well, you wait here, I'll go look for water." He put the pistol in his companion's hand and said: "There are five bullets in the gun, remember, after three hours, every hour there is a shot in the air, and the sound of the gun guides me; I will find the right direction and then meet with you. ”

The two parted, one confidently looking for water, the other lying in the desert waiting suspiciously. He looked at his watch and fired his gun on time. He had a hard time believing that anyone but himself could hear the gunshots. His fear deepened, and he thought that his companion had failed to find water, and had died of thirst along the way. Soon he felt that his companion had found water, and abandoned him, never to return.

When it was time to fire the fifth shot, the man thought sadly: "This is the last bullet, and my partner has long since lost hearing my shot, and when this bullet is used up, what will I have to rely on?" I just have to wait for death. And, while I was still breathing, the vultures would peck at my eyes, and how painful it would be, ......" So, for the fifth time, he aimed the muzzle of his gun at his temple.

Soon after, the companion carrying a pot full of water led a caravan of camels to follow the sound, but found a corpse.

It is undeniable that everyone has feared, and no one has never been afraid since childhood. But some people have walked through a hurdle, climbed a mountain, and finally learned to be brave, and some people have walked through a hurdle, but it is difficult to cross a mountain, because they have learned to be more afraid, so they only face tragedy.

A recent graduate of a large company was recruiting staff and was anxious while waiting for the offer of employment after an interview. After waiting for a long time, the letter from the company was sent to him, but when he opened it, he was not hired. The news was simply too much for him to bear, and he lost confidence in his own abilities, thinking that if he tried another company, he would fail again, so he committed suicide by taking drugs.

Fortunately, he did not die, he had just been rescued, and received a letter of apology and an offer from the company, it turned out that something had gone wrong with the computer, and he was on the list. This made him very surprised, and hurried to the company to report.

The first thing the company director said when he saw him was:

"You've been fired."

"Why? I obviously have an offer for the job. ”

"Yes, but we just learned that you committed suicide because you received a notice that you were not hired, and our company doesn't need people who can't stand even the slightest setback, and even if you have the ability, we don't plan to hire you. Because the company may have a crisis in the future, we need employees to be able to survive and die with the company without fear of difficulties, if the employees themselves can't overcome the fear, how can the company also turn the crisis into safety? ”

What is the reason why this candidate has completely lost his job? Obviously, it is because he does not have a correct evaluation of his own abilities, and when he occasionally receives a blow, he despises himself and cowers, and has no hope for the future, which is a sign of extreme psychological vulnerability. He didn't think that he lost his job, not because he was lost in the strict and demanding examination questions of the company manager, nor because he lost to a strong competitor, but because it was his own fear that blocked the development path he dreamed of.

Fear is the enemy of success in life, it will consume your energy, torture your body and mind, shorten your lifespan, make you lose confidence, prevent you from getting all the good things in life, overcome it so that you can give yourself a chance to succeed, if you are not willing to fail, act immediately to challenge fear, the road of life is very long, if you have not been able to face this devil in your heart, it will be too late to regret in the end.

It's better to be brave than to avoid it

Running away is a sign of cowardice, and it doesn't solve the problem, it only makes things worse. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to face reality head-on and be brave enough to solve the problems that arise.

Jun A is the manager of a company, once, one of his assistants made a mistake and caused losses to the company, and the assistant of the six gods found Jun A and said that he wanted to resign. At this time, Mr. A told him a secret that had been hidden in his heart for a long time: "Eight years ago, I was employed as a salesman in a construction company, and because of my hard work and ability, a large amount of arrears were continuously recovered, and the company's declining scene was quite different. The boss also appreciated me and invited me to his house for dinner several times. It was then that his only daughter fell quietly in love with me and often sent me beautiful knick-knacks. I didn't dare to accept it at first, but then I had to accept it because of the embarrassment. Two years passed like this, and when one day I told her that I couldn't give her much more, she was angry and short-sighted.

Her three brothers roared and threatened to pay for my life. At that time, I had a lot of savings, and many people persuaded me to leave. I didn't do that, I had only one thought in my mind: since the cause was mine, I had to go back and face it all, dead or alive - it didn't matter.

"When I walked into her house, a crowd rushed at me, but her father, my boss, waved his hand to the others, came up and held my hand, and said slowly for a long time: 'A woman who is willing to die for you shows that you are an extraordinary person; If you dare to face all this, it shows that you are a person of flesh and blood. ’”

Mr. A's words touched his assistant so much that he decided to stay and accept the board's ruling. As a result, the board of directors decided that he dared to face the problem and only deducted his bonus for two months.

In the story, Mr. A knew that the boss's house was waiting for him in a storm, but he did not leave because of this, but bravely faced it, and this spirit is worth learning from each of us. In life, when something difficult or painful happens, many people are accustomed to running away from it, but the fact is the fact, and what has happened cannot be changed. Running away and not daring to face it is actually self-deception, which will only make people more miserable. And once avoidance becomes a habit, people will become depressed, stop being aggressive, and end up with nothing.

The late Booth Tarkington always said, "I can face anything that life throws at me, except for one thing, which is blindness." That's something I'll never be able to take anymore. ”

But this misfortune struck, and in his 60s, he found that when he saw things, the colors were completely blurred. He went to an ophthalmologist and confirmed the unfortunate truth: his vision was declining, he was almost completely blind in one eye, and not much better in the other. What he feared the most finally happened.

How did Tarkington react to such an "intolerable" catastrophe? Does he think "this is over, my life is over here"? No, he himself didn't expect him to be so happy that he could even use his humor. Before, he was saddened by the floating shadows, which swam in front of his eyes and obscured his vision, but now, when the biggest shadows dangled before his eyes, he would say, "Hey, the shadows are coming, I don't know where it's going to go with such good weather today." ”

When Tarkington was completely blind, he said, "I found myself as a person who could withstand weakened eyesight, just as one can withstand anything else." If all five of my senses are lost, I know that I will be able to continue to live in my mind, because we can only see in our minds, and we can only live in our minds, whether we know this or not. ”

To restore his eyesight, Tarkington underwent 12 surgeries in one year, performed on him by a local ophthalmologist. He wasn't afraid, he knew it was necessary, he knew he couldn't escape it, so the only way to alleviate his pain was to accept it with pleasure. He refused to use a private room in the hospital, but lived in a big room, with other patients, he tried to make everyone happy, and when he had to undergo several surgeries—and he knew exactly what was going on in his eye—he always tried to make himself think about how lucky he was. "How wonderful," he said, "that science has now advanced to the point where it is possible to operate on something as delicate as the human eye." ”

If the average person goes through more than 12 surgeries and does not see the light of day, I am afraid that they will go crazy. But Tarkington said, "I don't want to trade this experience for something happier." This taught him to face things that don't go his way, as he said, "It's not sad to be blind, it's sad that you can't face the fact." ”

In life, we often encounter failure, failure is like this, you run away from it, it chases you desperately, you face it, it stops. Therefore, failure is not terrible, and not daring to face it is even more terrible.

Konosuke Matsushita, a major Japanese entrepreneur, best described this concept most thoroughly, saying: "If you fall, you must get up, and you must move forward." If you fall and stand up, you are only half a person, and after standing up, you are a complete person when you go forward. ”

Seiichi Ishito, a consultant at Japan's Sanyo Electric Company, was a factory director at Matsushita Electric Corporation, and Konosuke Matsushita gave him the best educational opportunity at that time. On one occasion, Japan was hit by the most violent typhoon on record, and although there were no casualties, factories were nearly completely destroyed. Shi Teng thought to himself: I finally moved to a new factory, and when I wanted to go all out to produce and do a lot of work, but I was hit by this, and the boss must be very depressed psychologically!

Matsushita arrived at the factory just before the typhoon was about to stop, but Mrs. Matsushita was also unwell and hospitalized.

"Boss, it's not good, the factory has suffered a great change and suffered heavy losses, I'll be the guide, please inspect the factory!"

"No need, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter."

"......" (speechless to each other)

The boss held the paper fan in his hand and looked at it carefully, looking sideways and vertically, with an unusually calm expression.

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. There is nothing great about failure, you should get up if you fall. Babies will never learn to walk if they don't fall. Children too, if you fall, you should get up immediately, crying is useless, isn't it? ”

After Matsushita finished speaking, he turned around and left, leaving quickly without panic about the disaster at the factory.

Victory and defeat are common things in soldiers, and it is important to dare to face defeat, regroup, and open up another battlefield in life.

People who escape from the unhappiness of the real world will never be successful. There will always be setbacks of one kind or another in life, and only by facing them bravely can we truly enjoy life.