This article was written by Mr. Elder Carter in South America and sent back to London on letterhead, edited and corrected, and published anonymously in the first half of the January 1832 issue of The British.

Because of the large number of controversial words and phrases used in the article, it was fiercely criticized by Wordsworth, Sausset, and other Blackwood-resident poets of the Lakeside School as soon as it was published.

Robert Sausser bluntly said: "The sordid of this poem is comparable to the sewage outlet of the Thames, and the publication of this poem is tantamount to a terrorist attack for the British classical literary world." This is not only a defilement of the entire British literary scene, but also a desecration of traditional and beautiful Christian morality. The poet who wrote this poem was an immoral, blasphemous poet, Dante of the Fallen Age, and he wrote it with the intention of sending everyone to hell. ”

For this reason, Alfred Dinney, the romantic literature editor of the newspaper "British", publicly apologized in the second half of the second half of the "British" in January 1832, and said that he would withdraw the manuscript and increase the review and inspection of the manuscript in the future.

In early March, the Book and Publication Committee of the House of Commons of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland sent a note to the Metropolitan Police Department of Greater London, adding this series of poems and books such as "The Red and the Black" to the new issue of the list of bad books and newspapers on the charge of 'leading a bad social atmosphere and corrupting Christian morality', and the work of banning and controlling them was entrusted to Arthur Hastings, Assistant Inspector General of Police of the Metropolitan Police of Greater London.

Lethe

Cruel and merciless soul, hold to my chest,

You indifferent monster, beloved tiger girl.

My trembling fingers may it last a long time

Sink into the centre of your thick hair.

There's fragrance under your petticoat,

I want to hide my sore head,

Like a withered flower,

Smell the turbid fragrance of the love of the past.

I want to sleep! More than the desire to live!

Dead sleeps in sweet dreams,

Kiss without complaint and regret all over you

Bronze smooth and beautiful body.

To swallow the sobbing that has just calmed down,

All things are no as good as the flower beds of your abyss;

Mighty oblivion perched on your lips,

Lethe flows in your kisses.

I accepted my fate, and from then on I was happy and peaceful,

It is like the soul is finally redeemed and liberated;

Tame sacrifices, innocent prisoners,

The madness will stir up the fire of his pain,

To dispel the grudge, I sipped

Forget the elixir of the dew and the poison hemlock,

Your sharp and charming xx,

I can't help but yearn for it.

Although the collection has been put on a ban list, it is still widely read due to the rampant activity in London's underground publishing market.

After the collection was attacked by Blackwood, Alexandre Dumas, the famous fashion writer of The British, wrote an article against it, and Mr. Dumas satirized Robert Sauseda.

"After the publication of the "Lethe" series of poems, I discovered a strange phenomenon. The righteous indignation of the gentlemen and ladies who usually profess themselves to be the most virtuous, the most perfect, and the noblest have expressed their righteous indignation, while the most immoral, the most crippled, and the most philistine petty burghers react not so strongly. This phenomenon really makes me wonder why the townspeople react so differently from the gentlemen and ladies.

With this in mind, I asked a butcher who sold chops what he thought of the controversial poems, and the gentleman with a big waist wiped his hands on his greasy and reflective apron and said to me with a smile: 'Sir, what do I have to be angry about?' It's not my ugly thing. ’”

The escalating debate between Alexandre Dumas and Robert Sausse revealed that the British's editorial offices were just one block away from Fleet Street, according to The Times.

The editorial office of the London Morning Post, sandwiched between the two of them, quipped: "Every day when I go to work, I can smell the smell of gunpowder in the air." But we are not surprised by this, for many people in Fleet Street know that Monsieur Dumas had been a good gun and a good gun before he came to London. On this point, Monsieur Clark, editor of the Daily Illustrated Magazine, who dueled with Mr. Dumas, and Madame Garland, who starred in The Count of Monte Cristo, can testify. The only regret is that Mr. Dumas usually chooses different guns for men and women. ”

……

This article was published in the second half of November 1831 in the second half of November 1831 by His Excellency Agareth, the legendary Red Devil Agareth, a retired leading cadre of the executive deputy demon king of hell, who once controlled 31 demon legions, and the guide of King Solomon, the ruler of Jerusalem.

The Moral Decline of Britain as a Result of the Decline in Average Intelligence

"Alas! You young people of the new century, you young ones, are really becoming more and more indulgent and frivolous! When I was younger, people admired humility and solemnity, and knew how to respect the guidance of the wise. And what about the kids now? They behave without restraint and don't even know what politeness is.

You never know that true wisdom comes from inner cultivation and reverence for the outside world, and not from following trends at will, without the constraints of tradition and the foundation of morality, you are nothing. You are good at making claims, and you think you are wise, but do you think that you are as wise as King Solomon? ”

An old gentleman with silver hair sat on a park bench with a cane, and gave a painful lecture to two young men with umbrellas passing by.

The two of them looked dressed like rich gentlemen or scavengers, and looking at their stupid gazes, oh, these were two nerds studying at the University of London.

The young man who walked behind listened to the old gentleman's kind reprimand, not only did not thank him at all, but spat at the ground, and shamelessly said to the old gentleman: "Old fellow, if it rains without an umbrella, so much water is splashed on your body, and your head is still hot?" ”

After that, he stepped forward again and patted the shoulder of the young man walking in front of him: "Arthur, it's raining so hard, why don't you go faster?" ”

The young man walking in front looked a little mentally disabled, and even spoke slowly: "What's the hurry, isn't it raining ahead?" ”

The young man named Arthur turned his head to stare at his companion's pocket and asked, "I forgot to bring the money, how much do you have on me?" I'm a little hungry when I watch the play. ”

The young man in the back put his hand into his pocket: "I have two shillings in my left trouser pocket and six pence in my right trouser pocket. ”

The young man named Arthur was really mentally handicapped, he didn't know how to convert, but said impatiently: "Elder I don't care about your left and right pockets, I just want to know how much money you have." This week's oil and water are too bland, and I want to eat something good now. ”

The young man named Elder spread his hands: "I'm sorry, I don't have a penny. ”

The young man with intellectual disabilities was stunned for a long time: "Aren't your left and right pockets rich?" ”

Elder pursed his lips, and he shrugged his shoulders, "I know, but these pants are not mine." ”

Arthur took a closer look at his companion's pants: "You lie, I remember you were wearing these beige pants today." Held, it's just a meal, are you there? ”

"Arthur, I'm not going to get caught up in that. I'm wearing beige pants today, yes, but I'm pretty sure the one isn't mine. ”

"Why?"

"First, because I have two pounds in my pocket to-day, not two shillings and sixpence! Second, and most importantly, I wear these pants with a crotch, and I'm not that small! ”

Arthur, an intellectually disabled young man, seemed unable to handle such a large amount of information, and he was silent for a long time before asking, "What about your pants?" ”

The flirtatious young Elder whistled: "God knows! I must have left it in the small room of the theater. The police had just burst into the theater and I was so scared that I grabbed a pair of pants and ran away. I've been glad I didn't get caught, but it wasn't until now that I felt like I was wearing the wrong pants. ”

At this, Elder suddenly sensed that something was wrong, and he first frowned, then pinched his chin in a pensive look. Unfortunately, this kid also seems to be an intellectually disabled person.

Elder raised his head and asked his mentally retarded companion, "Why is there still a pair of pants in the room?" Arthur, did I call that bitch a liar? ”

"What do you say?"

The young man named Arthur suddenly had the upper hand in terms of intelligence, and it was evident that he was still very unaccustomed to it.

He politely took off his hat and asked, "Mr. Carter, do you need me to call the police for you?" ”

After the publication of this article, the University of London Alumni Association received strong attention, and the editorial office of the Brit received letters from the police stations in the West End of Scotland Yard, where theatres were gathered, on the night of its release.

Although the Brit has repeatedly clarified that this article is a fictional work of the author, the police stations still insist in the letter that the editorial office should provide the address of the theater mentioned in the article.

……

This article was published in the second half of June 1831 in the second half of June 1831 by Charles Darwin, a distinguished British scholar selected by the Linnaean Society, a naturalist and chaplain of HMS Beagle of the Royal Navy, a well-known alumnus of Cambridge University, and a man who single-handedly supported the field of British's naturalism.

"Two or Three Interesting Facts about South America"

Although I have come to accept that South America is different from Britain, it is amusing to hear the inhabitants talk about the fossilized shells I have collected.

Their language is almost the same as that of Europeans a century ago, whether the Baker fossils were "born that way." My geological expedition to the region amazed the Chileans, who preferred to believe that I was here for gold or silver than for fossils.

It's a troubling situation at times, and I've found that the best way to explain my work is to ask them, "Why aren't you interested in earthquakes and volcanoes?" Why are some springs hot and others cold? Why does Chile have mountains, while Argentina doesn't even have hills?

Most people were quickly convinced and speechless by these straightforward questions, but there were always some, like those who could be found in England who were like a hundred years behind, who thought it useless and ungodly for me to explore these questions, and that it was enough to know that the mountains were created by God.

One night we stayed in a small secluded cottage. I soon discovered that the two or three things I had brought with me, especially the pocket compass, surprised the local farmers. Every house asked me to show my compass and use it to point out the direction of various places on the map.

Obviously, they were indifferent to my work just now, but just a compass made them admire me. Because they think it's amazing that a stranger like me can actually know the way when he comes to a strange place.

A young woman who was sick in bed also invited me to come over and let her see my compass. They thought I was strange, but I was even more surprised that these people, with thousands of cows and "big estates", were so ignorant.

The only explanation for this problem is that this remote area should be visited by very few outsiders. They asked me if the earth or the sun would turn, whether it was hotter or colder in the north, where Spain was, who was next door to the United States, and so on.

When I told them that I was British, most of the inhabitants had only a vague assumption that England, London, and North America were just different names for the same place. Those with a little knowledge think that London is an independent country next to North America, and England is the largest city of London!

Of course, they also have their strengths. For example, they use the technique of Lazoso or Meteor Cord, which allows them to ride their horses at full speed and suddenly turn around, while still holding Lazoso or Meteor Cord firmly on their heads, and they can also aim.

One day, while I was amusing myself to practice rounding the Meteor cord over my head at a gallop, the spinning ball accidentally hit a bush, and it immediately stopped spinning, fell to the ground, and suddenly, like a trick, got caught around my horse's hind legs.

The other ball was quickly pulled out of my hand, and the horse was tied. Luckily, this is an experienced old horse who knows what it all is and doesn't keep kicking and throwing himself down. The gauchos laughed at my embarrassed appearance, and they shouted that they had seen cattle and horses, but they had never seen anyone catch themselves.

Even though they are a little lacking in knowledge, they are a group of enthusiastic and honest guys. The gauchos say one is one, and two is two, which is better than England. Because here, you'll never find a farce like London Zoo.

I'm sure many of you in the Linnaeus Society know that the London Zoo had two lions, but they only fed meat to one and the other with only a bag of nuts and two bananas a day. Ha? Why is that, you ask? That's because they only have a lion budget, so the other one has a monkey spot.

This article was published in the wake of an outcry from the London Zoo, a group of gentlemen who solemnly declared that Darwin's account of the two lions was completely false. After verifying the situation, Alexander Dumas, the fashion editor of British, issued an apology in the next issue of the magazine, saying that the London Zoo mentioned by Charles Darwin was not the one in Regent's Park, but the one with its office in the Palace of Westminster.

(End of chapter)