The latest chapter of "The Ball at Your Feet"...

Zhang Yuan hesitated, when he inquired with people, he heard that the content of psychological counseling could not be asked casually. However, he couldn't help but be curious, so he still spoke, "That psychological counseling, do you think it's helpful to yourself?" ”

This topic made Zhao Yaning silent, Zhang Yuan saw that his expression was wrong, and wanted to divert the topic, but Zhao Yaning spoke at this time, "Brother Zhang, do you think I am a particularly hypocritical person?" ”

"Hypocrisy? Where does this begin? You kid has a lot of problems, but basically it has nothing to do with hypocrisy, right? Zhang Yuan said a little strangely.

"But after talking to Mr. Loyle, I felt that way. There were a lot of things that I hadn't noticed myself, but he dug them all out for me. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like I'm being so hypocritical. ”

"What's there, let's hear it." Zhang Yuan also became interested.

"You remember, I've always wanted to help the national team make some achievements," Zhao Yaning told his experience, "I think I can be regarded as a patriot no matter what, but Mr. Loyle said that I am not patriotic at all, and he said that I have nothing to do with patriotism." ”

"This grandson is farting." Zhang Yuan immediately made his own answer, "If you want to say that you have other problems, I may believe it." But patriotism is still questionable? If you kid is like this, if you are unpatriotic, then I am like this, will I just pull it out, and I will be shocked by treason? If you fart. ”

Zhang Yuan waved his hand, trying to dispel the non-existent stench in the air, in this regard, he had never doubted Zhao Yaning's character. If Zhao Yaning has other problems, Zhang Yuan still believes it, but on the issue of patriotism, Zhang Yuan can't wait to smoke Zhao Yaning, how can anyone still say that he is not patriotic?

Zhang Yuan's emotions made Zhao Yaning smile helplessly, but he continued to speak.

"The reason why I have always wanted to achieve something in the national team is not because I am patriotic, but because I lack a sense of identity," said Mr. Loyle. Zhao Yaning said about his psychological counseling, "He said, I have always longed for recognition from others, especially those who once looked down on me, so I will work hard when I play in the national team game, and I especially want to achieve results." He said that I did this because I had never been recognized by others, and since I was a child, I have always dreamed of being in the national team, but I have always been brushed down, so I have always lacked recognition from this aspect. Now, I have this opportunity, but I always refuse to be satisfied, and I refuse to stop until I do my best. He said that this is the same as the kind of person who didn't have enough to eat when he was a child and grew up hungry. ”

"Will this grandson be an analogy? Can't we just find a better example? Zhang Yuan scolded, "Do you think what he said makes sense?" ”

"I don't know. Some of the things he said were hurtful and made me feel like I was so selfish. Zhao Yaning said with a wry smile, "He said that the reason why I want the national team to perform is because I am excluded by the national team, and on the other hand, because the various criticisms and discrimination I received when I lived in Europe made me want to raise my eyebrows, I want to become famous, become known to everyone, respect me, and let everyone in society agree with me." He also said that the reason why I want to get ahead in the national team is because I was rejected by the national team in the past, expelled from the sports school, and abandoned by the entire Chinese football community, so I always want to trample them all under my feet in order to satisfy my desire to be recognized. ”

"I think he has a point." Zhang Yuan nodded and said, "You are not a saint, but you are so stubborn in this matter, it would be strange to say that you are unselfish." If you want to trample those people under your feet, not only do you have this thought, but I also have it. Not only do I want to step on it, but I also want to grind it a few more times and crush him. What he said also has some truth, a bit of a doorway. What else did he say? ”

He also said that the reason why I was extremely restrained in playing football, and even in life, was because of the psychological shadow caused by the harsh training environment of the sports school when I was a child. He said that the reason why I played this habit was because when I was in sports school, I was afraid of being expelled, and when I played football, I always pursued perfection too much, and pursued not to make mistakes. He said that my idea of not seeking merit, but seeking no fault, was cultivated at that time. ”

Zhao Yaning's words made Zhang Yuan fall into silence, and after a long while, he nodded and spoke, "It's just that you can't let go of playing football." You're obviously very strong, but when you play football, you always look like you're tied up, so what if you shoot a few shots? What happened to Langchuan? You're at that age, don't just think about how to be safe. ”

But this is easier said than done, and Zhang Yuan himself knows in his heart how impossible it is for Zhao Yaning to get rid of the habits he has developed since childhood. From childhood to adulthood, because he had no money to take care of the relationship with the coach, Zhao Yaning always had to pay more hard work and fatigue than others when he played, and in the game, he must also be more careful and hard-working, except for the slightest mistake, he may be excused to take out the main position. Growing up in such a situation, how could he have the courage to try all kinds of moves, shoot in games, or always pursue beautiful through balls?

What is more difficult to change than your skills is your personality.

"He also said I was an ostrich." Zhao Yaning remembered the psychiatrist's words, "He said, my mentality is the ostrich mentality. I've been playing abroad for a long time, I know how to play real professional football, and I know that many of the problems in China are not simply the problems of one person, or can be easily changed by myself. But I know a lot of the dark side of society, but I always want everything to be as pure and transparent as I hope. I know that a lot of the shady things are there, but I'd rather turn a blind eye and just stick to my opinion. I know I can't change the world on my own, but I always want to try......"

"You tell him everything." Zhang Yuan couldn't help but say.

"Mr. Loyle is a professional counselor, and he guided me to speak up before I knew it. You should go to him when you have time, it's good for you. ”

"I don't have that spare money, let alone that idle time." Zhang Yuan immediately refused, "And what's the big deal?" Young people, who are new to society, always feel that everything is very beautiful, even if they are knowledgeable, it is possible that their brains will not turn for a while. You're a tough seed, and it's inevitable that you'll be like this. But it's good to realize it, and it's not too late to change it now. ”

"I don't want to change." Zhao Yaning responded lightly.

"Horns again?" Zhang Yuan smiled bitterly.

"No, there are some things that I do have to change." Zhao Yaning shook his head, "What he said is indeed not wrong, a lot of dark things are there, no matter how much I am an ostrich, it is useless to pretend not to know." But after thinking about it, what I need is not to close my eyes and pretend that the sky is blue, the grass is green, and everything is beautiful. But what I'm going to do is not to completely follow the darkness and become darker than them, as bastard and shameless as them. ”

"What I want to do is to recognize this darkness, and in the darkness, keep myself clean. It's like there's mud on the ground, and I used to step on it and pretend I didn't know, but what I have to do now is not to jump into it and make myself covered in mud. I'm going to find a way around them. As long as I keep my eyes open, I can go far in the dark, even to the point when dawn comes. ”

Zhang Yuan listened to his words until he finished speaking, and then sighed, "Since you are willing to tell me, then I will also tell you what I think of you." Brother, you're a nice guy, really good. But you're silly and cute sometimes. I'm sometimes anxious for you, you have such a temper, if you live alone in society, what can you do? If God didn't reward you for your skills, how would you survive? ”

"I don't know, and I haven't thought about it." Zhao Yaning told the truth, "Mr. Loyle said that my thoughts are sick. I think everything in this world is too dark, because I've been treated unfairly, so I always feel that other people treat me badly. Because I felt that society was dark, I ran away from it and hid. I like to train, I like to play because when I'm on the pitch, it's hard to get the dirty stuff in, and I'm in a clean environment. ”

That's not necessarily, Zhang Yuan said in his heart, but he didn't refute it. He knew that Zhao Yaning didn't like to compromise on this issue.

"I thought about it a lot after the counseling last night, and I even cried once." Zhao Yaning said softly, "I never realized before that I was actually a very hypocritical and timid person. I wanted a lot of things, honor, victories, fame, and, of course, preferably money, but I never dared to admit it. I said I wanted to contribute on the football pitch, in my life, in all aspects, for my parents, for the team, for football, but in reality, I didn't do anything. ”

"It's good to have that heart." Zhang Yuan could only say a word of comfort.

"No, not enough." Zhao Yaning shook his head, "The path I chose by myself will be taken by myself." I don't want to complain about any powerlessness, I need to grow on my own and have enough strength to carry everything. ”