Good popularity is what everyone expects, so how to expand their social circle in the social arena and how to win the love and support of the majority of friends is indeed a problem that we should think about.

In daily life, some people are witty and talented, but their interpersonal relationships are very ordinary; And some people have ordinary skills, but in the end they can achieve great success in their careers. Why is that? The reason is that the former is always arrogant and ignores others, thus losing his popularity, which is equivalent to losing half of his career; However, the latter is completely different, and his ability to be empathetic, make friends, and have good social relationships has laid the foundation for his success.

In this world, there are many things that are interactive between people, no matter what happens, you should consider it from the other party's standpoint, at this time you may find that you have become a roundworm in someone else's stomach, and his thoughts, likes and taboos, it is easy to enter your sight. Look at the problem from the other side's point of view, which is actually what all those who want to have good popularity must do.

In many cases, it is very easy to overlook this when we are reasoning with others. In fact, if you want to build a successful relationship with someone, then you should take into account their feelings. As Paul Paccar said, "Emotion is more successful than reason in communicating with people." "There was a beautiful lady who walked into a shoe store to buy shoes. A male clerk at the shoe store was very nice and went out of his way to find the right size for her, and finally he said, "It seems that I can't find the right shoe for you, you have one foot bigger than the other." ”

As a result, the young lady was very angry and stood up to leave. At this time, the manager of the shoe store overheard the conversation between the two and asked the lady to stay and choose shoes for her personally. It didn't take long for the male clerk to see that a pair of shoes was sold.

After the lady left, the clerk asked the manager, "How did you get this business?" I said the same thing you meant, but she was angry. ”

The manager explained, "It's different, I told her that one foot is smaller than the other. The manager's words told the truth to the beautiful young lady. But the manager also took into account her feelings, spoke skillfully, with respect, and saw things from the young lady's point of view, so in the end he succeeded.

It is very necessary to respect the feelings of others. As the novelist Joseph Conrad said, "Give me the right words, the right tone, and I can move the earth forward." ”

Only when we take into account the emotions of others and take care of them, can we be accepted when we ask others to do things, and we will not be rejected by others. We need to know how others are feeling and be able to take this into account when dealing with our own affairs, because not doing so is actually acting rashly and making others look down on you.

In life, we always complain about the coldness of others, but in fact, the reason may be in ourselves. From a different perspective, you might get a very different result. If we don't look at it from a different perspective, if we don't reflect on our own behavior and think from the other person's point of view, everything will get worse.

There's a famous saying, "Pause for a minute." Kenneth Coudy said in his book How to Ennoble People: "Pause for a minute and compare your high interest in your own things with your indifference to other things." Then you will understand that the rest of the world also has this attitude! This is what it means to be successful when it comes to getting along with people, and whether you can consider other people's feelings and understand their perspectives. ”

"True success in life has little to do with career success, real success is about being a person. I already have the former, and I will learn the latter for life. Konosuke Matsushita once said the same.

A person puts himself in the other person's shoes and considers the problem, which is the basic way to understand the other person. A person who sticks to his own opinions and can't understand others will not be recognized by others, and it will naturally be difficult to achieve great things!

So, how do we be an empathetic person?

First, it's important to remember that everyone can make mistakes, but he himself doesn't think it's his fault, don't say anything about it, stupid people do it, and smart people always try to understand others instead of blaming them.

Second, each person must have their own reasons for doing this, and we need to reveal their inner reasons and look for the keys that can help us judge their behavior and its nature.

Third, put yourself in the shoes of the problem. We might as well ask ourselves: What would I do if I were in his position now? In this way, we can save a lot of time and be at peace because we notice why things are happening and are more considerate of others. In addition to this, we can also learn a lot about communication.

All in all, when you want to complain about someone, think calmly for a minute. Ask yourself the question: Why is he doing this? Why is this happening? Only in this way will you gradually become an empathetic person.