Have you walked through the ghost gate?

Have you ever faced the threat of death?

Frankly, I've faced it. That is, in an instant, I don't know anything...... Didn't think about it. It's too late to think about anything. Later, I recalled countless times how I felt when I faced death, and it felt like I didn't feel anything. To tell the truth, at that moment, I was stunned and saw a big truck rushing towards me on the opposite side...... I was stunned for a second, about a second, and I only heard "Boom!" With a loud bang, I don't know anything.

When I woke up, my face was covered in blood, broken glass, and pain...... That's when I felt it. My feeling was: Oh, alive.

At that time, I slowly climbed out of the car and stood at an intersection of National Highway 302, a bloody man!

Have you ever drunk your own blood?

I've drunk it and it's a bit salty. Slightly salty.

Later, when I was put on the operating table, I was still stunned, how did I get into a car accident?

I remember hearing the news of the camel jumping off the building, I wanted to find an exit as soon as possible, get off the highway first, and then turn south. Anyway, we've been through it together...... But when I turned around, I turned on National Highway 301 and came to an intersection, and I didn't know anything about it, and I saw a big truck full of goods, rumbling, rushing towards me.

At that time, I climbed out of the car, and I was standing at the intersection, and the sky was all red, and the sun looked like a pool of red thorns. I just stood at the junction, covered in blood, like a red waterfall, flowing down my head and face, and when I couldn't do it, I drank it. At that moment, I was red all over my body, like a "flag...... I remember that when I reached out to stop the car, four small cars drove past me. They hide from me, the Bloody Man, like from the plague...... At that time, I was on the verge of despair. When people are desperate, they are courageous. Later, when a police car drove by, I made the bravest decision of my life, I staggered to the middle of the road, stretched out a bloody hand, and shouted: Stop!

Later, it was this passing police car...... Saved me.

I should say that I chose a life. I thought maybe this was God's punishment for me, or a warning...... After I was admitted to the hospital, I went to two operating tables. One is surgical. One is ophthalmic. The surgery is simple, just doing some suturing of the trauma...... The surgeon said, "You have two broken arteries." It seems that the most serious thing you hurt is your eye. So, I was transferred to the ophthalmology department. On the operating table in ophthalmology, the ophthalmologist said something even more terrifying. He said, "Sign it." I said, "What's wrong?" He said, "The cornea of your left eye is broken, the iris is broken, the lens is broken, and the vitreous is also flowing out...... In addition, if you are infected, it may affect your right eye and risk blindness...... He seemed to say a lot of things. Every sentence is like a knife stuck in the heart. At this time, I was desperate again. Very desperate. After the car accident, when I was standing at the intersection, I didn't notice my eyes. At that time, it seemed that the sky was still blue...... But it's about to get dark.

Finally, the doctor said, "Do you sign it?"

I said, "Sign." I signed.

At this moment, my face was full of tears...... At this moment, I sent out a poignant call in my heart. I blurted out. Do you know what I'm shouting? A sudden sound came out of my throat: Mom, Mom. - But I don't have a "mother" for a long time.

As I lay on the operating table, a burning spotlight shone on my eyes, and the needles with threads passed through my eyes one by one, and I felt that the threads that were pulled out were very long, and the pain was also long, long, long...... The pain is like a comma after one, without a period; And then another stitch, long, long...... It's like embroidering on your eyes. You don't understand what it's like to embroider on your eyes, do you? That's just a matter of despair. That is, life is better than death. That is a fine pain, pulse by pulse pain, although the needle is on the eye, but the whole body is full of needles. For up to three hours, all you have is the feeling of a needle.

After the operation, when I was lying on the hospital bed blindfolded, the pores on my body looked like thorns, very sensitive and piercing...... I was so angry that I had three fights with the nurse who was sticking needles and infusions in one day! I don't know the color of the sky, I can't see the movement around me, and I go to the bathroom with help...... The needle is cold, the wind is hot, there is no difference between day and night, time stops. All I had left in my mind were memories, as if only the memories were real.

I'm very discouraged. In front of me, I always play back the past days piece by piece, like a slow-motion film, and use the replay of the old time to suppress the pain in my heart...... At this time, I always see camels. I saw the camel coming towards me with its sleeves flailing, and the camel sang "Flowers" as it went: I have never beaten the horses on the top of the city, but I have passed in the void. There was blood on the tip of the knife, and our thoughts went up...... Often, after a while, the corners of my eyes are cold. I know, I still have tears.

I was jealous of the trees outside the window, I was jealous of the laughter of healthy people, I was jealous of the wind that came and went freely, I would even be jealous of the sparrows that fell on the windowsill, I could not see them, but I heard the "chirping" of the sparrows and the jumping steps, and the sound of flapping their wings, and I cursed the sparrows viciously in my heart: Fuck you...... I still often hear the bells, the bells that come out of my heart, and the bells tick in and out, as if calculating the speed at which I am falling into the dark abyss.

I spent the whole summer blindfolded in a hospital bed...... I stayed up day by day. Often, only the sound of cicadas outside the window is proof that I am still alive. At night, my ears are so sensitive that I can hear even a leaf falling. Sometimes, I recite "the heart is calm and cool". This is the five-character rule I created. I memorized it over and over again, but my heart was not still. A person who is about to go to darkness cannot calm his heart.

I'm telling you, I'm already rich by this time. I have a lot of money. The stock of Magnolia Hall once rose to a very high ...... It's hard to figure out what it's like to have money when a person has it. I'll tell you how I feel. The first is fear. With so much money, where should I put it? One possibility is investment, and investment is afraid of losing money...... You don't know what to do. Yes, money can be kept in the bank. But it's not safe to store in the bank, what if the bank account is stolen? It's a state of mind. For a while, I was nervous...... Later, I even consulted a computer expert. This expert gave me a trick, saying that in today's world, there is a new method of secrecy, called "cloud preservation". To put it simply, this requires setting up a series of passwords, which are stored in a virtual space and float in the atmosphere...... I asked him, there must be somewhere, right? He said: Theoretically, there is a place. I'm still confused, asking: Where? He said: All the data of the world's computers, the final place of storage, is in a cave in the United States...... I'm still stunned. How did my money end up in the "cave of the United States" one day? You say, what the is this?

yes, I'm rich. I was lying in a hospital bed with my eyes covered...... What's the use of asking for money? One by one, the thoughts that come one after another, force people to want to go crazy!

Finally, one day, a small hand passed me. A small, soft hand. And the little hand came to me, and gave it to me, and said, "Rustling."

It's a little girl. At first, the little girl was just standing in the doorway, and the footsteps were a little farther away...... Then she came closer, walked to my bed, and handed me her little hand. At this time, I realized that she was only five years old, and she always liked to say one sentence in her mouth: rustling.

This was the first little girl who brought me joy and made me shift from pain. For a long time, I didn't understand what "Ma Sha Sha" meant. I tasted a little jelly bean in my childhood, and I always smacked the word "Ma Sha Sha" in my heart. Guess again and again, what does it mean?

Later, I called her "Martha". As soon as I heard the sound of small footsteps, I said, "Martha, come here."

"Martha" came over. She was very well-behaved and handed me her little hand and asked me to hold it for a while...... Her hands were small and soft, and her fingers were bare, fleshy, like a piece of nephrite. I couldn't see it, so I thought, this little girl must be beautiful. Then she lay down in front of my face, looked at it for a while, and said, "Rustling."

As soon as she said that, I laughed.

Sometimes, little "Martha" walks in the aisle, "bang", and then "wow" and cries...... I knew she was hitting the wall again. Tears welled up in my heart......

It wasn't until two months later that I removed the stitches for the second time, removing the gauze from my eye and revealing one eye...... I realized that this little girl was as beautiful as a flower. She was wearing a pink children's dress, white socks, red leather shoes, two bright eyes, and a small face like apples, just like a little princess who came out of a fairy tale, and looked very, very healthy...... is such an innocent little girl, but she has a small tumor in her head. The small tumor in her head was pressing on her optic nerve, and she couldn't see, and everything she could see was blurry. Often, if you are not careful, you will hit the wall. Her mother looked sad and said: The doctor said that the child is too young to have a craniotomy, so it can only be treated conservatively...... When she grows up, she doesn't know what to do.

yes, such a young child, who do you say she recruited and provoked? At this time, I realized that "Ma Sha Sha" is a child's accurate expression of what is in front of him.

Then, every time she walked past my hospital bed, I would call out: Martha.

"Martha's" little face turned around, smiled, like a sunflower, and said: rustling.

I also said: rustling.

"Martha" said, "Uncle, have you had a craniomy?"

I said, "What about you?"

"Martha" said: Dr. Huang said, nine years old. I had a craniotomy at the age of nine.

I felt a chill in the corner of my eye, and I didn't know what to say. It was the child who told me that there was hope.

Later, the first surgery was unsuccessful and I had a second operation.

When I try to see people with one eye, guess what I see?

I thought there was no difference between one eye and two eyes. At first, I didn't feel the difference. After getting out of the hospital bed and uncovering the gauze in one eye, the sky was still blue...... It was only later that I realized that I was missing something called "cross-perspective". That is to say, what is lacking is a kind of self-correction and balance of vision, the light is double shadow, the sun is two, and wherever there is light, it is double, double shadow...... And the boundless fear. Because the doctor told me one word. He said in an accentuated tone: "Cross-infection", do you understand? Once "cross-infected", both of your eyes are gone.

To be honest, I was afraid of "cross-infection". At that time, I was most afraid of these four words, and I was very afraid. I don't know when the doom of "cross-infection" will befall me......

After removing the gauze from one eye, I often sat alone by the flower bed outside the ward, looking up at the starry sky. I thought to myself, maybe one day, I won't see it again. In the night sky of the city, the sky is gray, the stars are far away, hidden in the ashes, you have to look for it, look for it with your heart. I looked at the night sky, looking for the stars in the sky one by one. Find one, find another...... Every time I find one, I feel a surge of love in my heart. How nice, stars. I can't find all the Big Dipper. Sometimes, I finally found the "spoon", but I couldn't find all the "handles".

During the day, I often sit there alone in a daze. At this time, I looked to the east, and to the east was the internal medicine ward, and the patients who came out of it were either yellow and thin, with yellow skin and bulging bellies. Either you have a special plastic cloth bag hanging from your waist, which is for feces, and from afar, you will smell a smell, a terrible, almost death-like smell; Looking back, looking at the west again, there is the cardiovascular and cerebrovascular department, most of the patients in it are pushed out of wheelchairs, and some are walking crookedly, with their hands sloppy, grinning, dripping with saliva and struggling. The hospital is full of sick people, and what people here crave most is health...... Sometimes, I sit late and late. When the night is cold, the heart is also cold.

Sometimes, I try to imagine what it feels like for a camel to stand on an eighteen-story building and jump down...... What was he thinking? I can't imagine. The camel is such a proud person, why did he jump down his heart. Camels are people who have suffered a lot. He only had one arm, but he lived with tenacity. Every time he drives with one hand, it is also the time when he is most relaxed and proud. In recent years, his hobbies have also changed. He likes good cars and has changed several cars in succession. The last car that the camel bought was an Italian-made Lamborghini (said to mean "crazy bull"), worth 4.87 million! But he never sat in it once, and he still parked it in the garage...... In front of him, it was as if all difficulties were not difficulties. One of his most common sayings was: "You must take it!"

But why did he have to jump? He settled so many things. This time, how could he ...... I really can't figure it out. Sometimes, I even feel that I am not as good as him. Death, for him, is the end. But as for me, the road still has to go on, and I may face the darkness of a lifetime.

…… My mind was always wandering.

Sometimes, I still think about those times in my childhood. Scene by scene of that day flashed before my eyes...... Often, in my sleep, I always feel like someone is calling me. Night after night, I heard someone shouting, "Son, come back." Come back, boy.

I miss the drizzle in my hometown. It's the dense, thick, silent, cow-hair-like drizzle. When it is pricked on the body, it is soft. If it is more precise, it is not rooted in the body, it is a moisturizer, a trace of moisturization. As people say, there is no sound, there is a little bit of coolness, a little chill, a little bit of "silk" contained in the fog. When you are running in the field, the rain weaves and weaves and covers you stitch by stitch, and after a long time, it will be a little itchy, really, when it falls on your face, there is a little bit of wetness, coolness, and a very childish itch. Then, little by little, the moisture slowly soaks into your body, slowly heavier. When you run back to the hut, when you stand under the eaves, turn around, and you will find that under the reflection of the skylight, the rain has begun to slant and shine.

I miss the dripping water on the tile. At the beginning of the rain, the water on the tile drip down one by one, first it was dense and beady, and then it eased, crystal clear, bright, and beep. First, it's like white grape juice, small and thick. When it dripped down, it was short and short, dripping small round pits one by one on the yellow earth in front of the house. The loess on the ground is smashed into a round sand nest shape, and the small round pits are arranged one by one under the edge of the house, first "Ben'er, Ben'er", then "pop" sound, and then "chirp" sound, the sound is piano-like.

I miss the sound of dog bites in the middle of the night in my hometown. I even miss the fear of walking at night. In the boundless darkness of the night, the night air is flowing, ink by ink. Especially on a starless night, you can hear your own heartbeat. There is boundless darkness in front of you, and there is also boundless darkness behind you, the black is very densely woven, it seems to be so thick that it can't be dissolved, you can't see the direction, there is no direction, you only have one foot high and one foot low, you are a little afraid, the more you go, the more afraid you are, maybe there are one or two stars of "ghost fire" in the distance, you are even more afraid...... However, suddenly I heard the sound of a dog biting, a dog bite. The voice was not violent, but just continuous, broken, warm, and family-like warmth. In the dark, when I heard the sound of a dog biting, my footsteps slowed down, and my heart relaxed. It's as if to greet you, saying, "Son, I'm home."

I miss the cough or greeting hidden in the night of the plains: the cough is a distant greeting, an insurance and identification, if it can be said to be a kind of dignity, perhaps mixed with care for the younger generation. In the darkness of the night, the greeting was very brief: - who? - Hmm. - What? - Yay. Maybe it's something else...... Short, distant, and distinguishing people by voice, simple, straightforward, and unadorned, it is subconsciously coughed up with phlegm, and it also contains inquiring vigilance. The sound comes and goes, but there is family affection, sophistication, and the familiarity and thorough understanding of several generations.

I miss the crickets. Whenever the night is quiet, the cricket will come to speak to you, a long and a short, always the attitude of never giving up, always the kind of low and not low whisper, when you feel lonely, when you have something in your heart, you sigh and sigh, you murmur it also murmurs, just accompany you, comfort you, until dawn. As soon as the morning dawned, it fell silent.

I miss the old cow who was foaming at the foam. Lying in front of the trough, a wind lamp, two bull's eyes, a mouth of foam, that peace, peaceful. I even miss the smell of cow dung. At dusk, in the twilight filled with cooking smoke, the smell of cow dung and cooking smoke wafted over the village, smoky, choking, with a hint of the fishy smell of the day and the smell of grass, as well as the fermented smell of the old cow regurgitating after chewing, stinky, there is a fishy smell of life...... It wandered behind a low wall, warm and glowing, it was an aura mixed with all kinds of cyan plants. In such an aura, you will be free, self-deprecating, and have a low mentality, and no matter why, you will be much more peaceful and indifferent. Occasionally, when you raise your head, you will hear the old cow "moo", as if you want to fix the day.

I miss the old cow's hoof prints lost on the loess road in winter. On snowy days, the hoof prints froze on the loess road, like a transparent inkstone, an inkstone that could not be picked up. Occasionally, there will be ink in the inkstone, which is the mud that the old cow struggled to step on, dipped in a little black wetness. In the summer, it is like a moon cake made of soil, a concave moon cake, the impression is very clear, but you can't pick it up. You catch it one by one, and when you catch it, it is pink and broken, and it is the best soil toy of childhood...... That's the only thing that can be reproduced after erasing it.

I miss the quiet yard and the haystacks one by one. On autumn evenings with a big moon, I miss the days when I sat on the haystacks, maybe round stacks, maybe square stacks. At that time, a moon in the sky, shining brightly, shone on you, as if it were for you alone. You hold your chin and think quietly about something, but you don't think about anything, you just think about it...... How nice. Occasionally, you will go into the haystack and pick up a hot nest, or dig a long cellar in the stack, dig a table, hide a few tomatoes, and wait for the tomatoes to soften, hide yourself and eat them secretly. Sometimes, when it rains outside, you will sleep inside, with a bundle of straw on your pillow, holding a bundle of straw, and sleeping yourself as a bundle of straw.

I miss the wooden pegs nailed to the yellow mud walls. The wooden pegs were wedged against the wall, the kind that had been rubbed by sweaty hands, and had turned black and shiny over the years. There are sets of leather ropes, leather ties, and cow cage mouths for livestock hanging on the top; There are sickles, mulberry forks, hoes, and straw hats that are only used in summer; There are red pepper skewers, yellow corn skewers, and blackened sweet potato leaves after drying; Dusty children's hoods and old cigarette pouches forgotten by adults hang on top...... If the hole in the wall is too large, and there are clumps of women's hair stuffed next to the wooden pegs (waiting to be replaced), maybe a packet of long-forgotten yellowed rapeseed or rat poison or something. It was a kind of obsolescence that dared to be forgotten, a day that hung out and basked in the sun.

I miss the simple, four-legged little stool. The little stool was everywhere, and it was left on the village street or in someone's yard, and it didn't matter whose house it was, and it sat down. The little stool was often swept around, from one house to another, and then back again, and the surface of each stool was black and dirty. In the summer, flies land on it; In the winter, the snow buries it, and when it does, it buries it, and no one cares. When you sit on it, you feel very stable and grounded. That posture is also the lowest. When you sit up, no one pushes you or wants to replace you.

I miss the sound of the doorman. At night, when you come back from outside, or walk out of the house, there will be a knock on the door, and the sound will "bang", swing out and back, dull, like a very private response, or inquiry. At this time, you can't help but look back, the door is still dangling, shaken off, the same as the days...... Crumbs, Enron.

I even miss the windy days back home. Yellow Wind. When you bend over and puff in your mouth, you see the wind whirling in the distance, spinning the dead grass and dry branches into the air, swinging, handsome, like a hula pulling up a yellow flag. When you drill your head out of the corn field, when you come out of the wind, when the wind stops, you suddenly feel that the sky is wide and the earth is wide, and the sweat that comes out of it will immediately dry, and the wind that has gone away has disappeared without a trace. At this point, you want to follow the trend. At this moment, you think how nice it would be if you could follow the wind.

But when I woke up, I was looking around and my face was full of tears. I had to say to myself: there is no one at home. Really, not a single loved one!

But I know there's someone behind me.

Later, people kept asking me: Is there someone behind you?

I replied, "Yes."

For a while, I always called little Martha to come over. With Martha, my heart is quieter. She looked at me, I looked at her, no need to speak. She's also human, a little person.

Little Martha is nice and sensible. Her little hands, which I hold onto, always give me a lot of comfort. Her little face is flushed, her eyes are big, and she is looking at you like that, pointing at you one by one: her nose is here. Mouth, mouth here. Occasionally, she said, "Do you see?" There are thorns in the lamp. She said: There are thorns in the water, too. She said, "Far away, the flowers are clicking...... I asked: How close? She said, "It's near, rustling."

The child's words are vocal, accurate, and tasteful. But when I think about it, it's a little sour.

Later, little Martha was discharged from the hospital. She will have to "numb" for many years, and when she grows older, she will come for surgery...... After Martha left, I was depressed for a long time. At that moment, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I would like to sit alone in silence. The ancients had a saying: Be cautious. I'm careless, it's the heart alone.

One morning, I was sitting silently on the stone steps by the flower bed, when I suddenly heard a familiar voice. The voice said, "Uncle."

A sweet voice shouted, "Hello uncle." - I was so excited that I thought it was little Martha who was back.

I turned around and saw Wei Lili, wearing a black gauze on her arm...... Wei Lili has lost weight all over, she is a little deformed, her face has become narrow, and there is a circle of black around the corners of her eyes, as well as wrinkles. Once a woman has wrinkles, she looks particularly haggard. It seems that the camel jumped off the building, and the blow to her was too great! There is also the matter in the company, and the people from the procuratorate are checking the accounts...... But she survived. She was holding a seven-year-old child, the son of a camel.

I didn't tell anyone about my car accident, and I didn't want anyone to know...... But Wei Lili still came. She was the first to visit me. Not far behind her stood the company's driver, who was holding flowers and gifts.

Wei Lili said: Your mobile phone is turned off. I'm asking everywhere about you...... Just found out that you were in a car accident.

Looking at Wei Lili, my heart was sour, and I said: People, send it away?

Wei Lili nodded silently and said: Send it away. I was sent back to my hometown.

I said, "Old man, are you all right?"

Wei Lili said: It's okay.

I muttered: I wanted to give him a ride, but something happened...... Let's settle in the ground.

Wei Lili said: In Guodong's heart, you have always been the person he values the most. The most intimate friend. He's been looking forward to your return to the company.

I was silent, with mixed feelings......

Wei Lili stood there, thin and thin, holding a child in one hand...... People can't help but feel sorry for her. I said, "You're going to hold on."

At this time, Wei Lili glanced at me, as if she had any questions. I looked at her frankly too......

Wei Lili said: There is a sentence, I want to ask you.

I said, "You say."

Wei Lili said: Everyone in the company is spreading that there is someone behind you, Mr. Wu. There are experts to guide you...... Behind you, is there anyone?

I hesitated for a moment, and said: - Someone. However, it's not a master.

Yes, there are people behind me. But I can't explain it, I don't need to explain it, and I can't explain it clearly...... Now that the matter has come to this, I will not plead any more, but I have persuaded the camels. Thinking about it, it's still a little ashamed.

Wei Lili said: I understand.

Next, Wei Lili suddenly said: Do you know why the two of us separated?

I'm still silent. There is also only silence. At a time like this, I don't want to mention Little Joe again......

Wei Lili said...... Gordon suffers from depression. Very severe, insomnia every night. Sometimes, when he was particularly agitated, he slammed his head against the wall, and it banged loudly. He was afraid that I wouldn't sleep well, and he was afraid that he would scare the child, and the child wouldn't sleep well. He proposed to separate for the sake of his children.

I said, "Yes?" - Camels don't sleep well, I know. But it's the first time I've heard of him having depression.

Wei Lili said: He didn't let me tell anyone. At first, he also took Valium, and when he ate four tablets, I didn't let him eat any more. At one point, we had a fight. Alas, I shouldn't have let him sleep alone......

I understand. The camel's blues are caused by chronic anxiety. In the past ten years, the camel has been carrying the word "rob" in his heart, he is always ready, preparing day by day, his strings are too tight, like a bow all day long, and people will have problems when the days are long. I remember that there was a time when the camel always held a large teacup and drank water without stopping...... That's when he has a fire in his heart. Now I understand that he can't sleep every night, his liver is so hot that he has burned out.

Later, Wei Lili also told me that before the camel accident, she had returned home and met her. It was a Sunday, and he came home and spent the morning with his son. He didn't say anything, but spent the whole morning making a "leather cow" for his son[note 1], of jujube wood. In the past, he also brought toys for his children, all electric toys, cars or airplanes. But this time, he brought back a piece of jujube wood from somewhere, and he used that piece of jujube wood to spin a "leather cow" for his son one by one. After the "leather cow" was done, a steel ball was nailed to the bottom, and a whip was made, a whip made of cowhide rope...... The two of them were fighting in the yard. At noon, Wei Lili asked him what he was eating? He said: Beef noodles. It was the first time they had eaten together since they separated. During the meal, he didn't say anything. Wei Lili asked him: Is it delicious? He said, "It's delicious." Then, after lunch, he touched his son's head, put his bag and left.

I asked: Did Guodong leave anything behind before leaving?

Wei Lili shook her head.

I said: Not a word?

Wei Lili was silent for a while and said: No.

- No will. That is to say, Wei Lili and his children are the first legal heirs of the company. Such a big mess completely fell on Wei Lili's shoulders.

I looked at her and to my surprise was that it was only such an incident (of course, it was not a small matter, her husband jumped off the building!). In just over two months, an unexpected event not only matured a woman's intelligence, but also completed a woman's bearing. Wei Lili never mentioned Xiao Qiao again. She didn't say a word about Little Joe. She didn't even say anything about Xia Xiaoyu...... She stood there, holding the child in one hand, but there was a kind of determination in her eyes.

Before leaving, Wei Lili said: Mr. Wu, I have checked the accounts. At present, the company's other investments are negative. There is only one company that makes a profit, Magnolia Hall. Gordon has been digging the east wall to make up the west wall...... Now, on paper, you have become the largest shareholder of Hopu Tang.

I was a little surprised and said, "Really?"

Wei Lili nodded solemnly. Then he said, "Take care." In this paragraph, the company is a little messy. There is also some aftermath...... I'll come back to see you. Everyone is still waiting for you to come back. I think Gordon must want to hand over this stall to you.

I looked up, looked at her, and said, "You made me think about it."

In the eye ward, I finally found a way to deal with the pain.

I take two diazepam tablets a night so that I can sleep for four hours...... During these four hours, I could forget myself and everything I had ever experienced.

Dawn is the hardest time. Every dawn, when you wake up, you are still lying in the hospital bed, there is a hint of wind blowing in front of your gauze eyes, just a little cool, but your "thoughts" have already acted. It's walking, and as soon as it's gone, it's going far, far away...... It used to chase the big truck, like a movie film, and play it back again and again, and he didn't know what was going on with the big truck. Along this line, it will chase after some things from the past...... How nice it would be if time could go back.

After three months in a hospital bed, do you know what I want to do the most? I want to speak. Talk to strangers. In those days after that, I walked around the ophthalmology ward every day blindfolded...... At that time, I first met Nine Beds. Then I got to know Eleven Beds.

The nine-bed guy is older than me. His surname is Xu, and people call him Lao Xu. Lao Xu is chubby, often wearing a blue tunic suit, no matter what the weather is, every button of his is neatly buttoned. When he came out to fetch water, he walked very slowly, and sometimes he carried it to fetch water for people, and when he put the water bottle, he was cautious, giving people a very stable feeling. But I, every time I see Lao Xu, I feel weird. I can't tell where the blame is.

One day, Lao Xu stopped me in the corridor of the hospital: Brother, you come. Here you come.

So, I walked into Lao Xu's hospital room. Lao Xu is a very particular person. On the hospital bed, the quilts were neatly folded, and the teacups and medicine bottles on the small cabinet were also placed in a standardized manner. When he saw me come in, Lao Xu moved a chair and said, "Sit." Then he sat cross-legged on the hospital bed and asked, "Brother, I heard about your eyes......

I said: car accident.

Then, Lao Xu pulled one of his eyes out of the socket and said, "Glass."

I was stunned for a moment and said, "Glass?

He said: imported, plexiglass.

I was amazed, Lao Xu is really a smart person. He actually saw my doubts......

Lao Xu studied Chinese medicine. He attended the College of Traditional Chinese Medicine for five years. After graduating, he was assigned to a county-level hospital as a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine, and at that time he was still very ambitious, and he could recite the entire paragraph of the "Compendium of Materia Medica...... Later, one of his classmates became the dean, and the dean valued him very much and promoted him to be the director of the office of the college. (Lao Xu asked me: Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing?) A good thing, of course. You can't say it's a bad thing if someone values you, right? Lao Xu has been the director of the office for twenty-five years. When he is the director of the office, he is in charge of logistics, writing and reporting materials. Sometimes, people come from above, and they also accompany the reception, drinking...... In this way, day by day, the business is wasted. In the past 20 years, the hospital has changed several directors, some of them are short-tempered, some are cautious, because he is reliable, not possessive or greedy, and they have all coped with the past. The dean who was transferred later was more domineering, took care of everything, and didn't let him take care of things...... He thought, I'll be retired in a few years, so I don't let it go. So, for a while, he went to work just to get a bottle of water, make a cup of tea, read the newspaper, and do tai chi after work...... There has been no problem. Last year, last fall, he sat in his office and watched the leaves in the yard fall, and the ground was full of yellow leaves, golden. He closed the newspaper (perhaps there was nothing to read in the news that day), and he was stunned for a while, then he got up, went behind the door, took a broom, and went out into the yard to sweep the floor...... He is the director of the office of the hospital, and there is a handyman in charge of cleaning in the hospital, so he does not have to sweep the floor. It should be said that he had not carried a broom for more than ten years, but that day he picked up the broom and went to the yard to sweep the leaves. Originally, he swept it and swept it, and he put the leaves in a pile, and someone would clean them up tomorrow morning. But he did it again, and he was afraid that if there was a wind, the leaves would be blown away. So, he thought about it again, and simply lit a fire, thinking that he would simply burn the leaves. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to burn through, but when he picked up a branch, lowered his head, and pulled it...... At this time, there was a whirlwind, only to hear a "boom", a medicine bottle in the pile of leaves exploded, and a very small thin-necked eye medicine bottle blew up one of his eyes.

He said that for the first time in 25 years, he cared about leaves, he blew up one eye.

In the eye ward, everyone is afraid of mirrors, but everyone is a "mirror".

It is precisely because we cover our eyes that we look at each other in the "mirror" by feeling, and feeling is the width of our cognition. We all walked cautiously, knocking on the bowl when eating, distinguishing people by sound, and using our ears as eyes. Although they sympathize with each other, they can't help but ask each other about the more serious patients to comfort themselves...... Eleven Beds came to know later.

One night, I couldn't sleep with a sore eye, I was irritable, and I ran into the hallway to steal a cigarette...... At this time, I saw the eleventh bed of Lao Yu. I heard that Lao Yu came from the countryside and was a professional fruit tree household. Lao Yu looked like he was in his forties, habitually curling a trouser leg, lying on the glass door, moving from left to right, and from right to left...... I'm looking out. I've heard people say that the old remnant suffers from "retinal detachment...... Lao Yu actually can't see anything, Lao Yu is looking at it with his "heart".

I said: Lao Yu, smoke a cigarette?

Lao Yu said: Thank you, don't smoke. Lao Yu's face was pressed against the glass, his body moved, still lying on the glass door and looking out......

I said, "Lao Yu, what are you looking at?"

Lao Yu said: Mosquitoes. There is a lot of grass outside, and there must be mosquitoes.

I was surprised. I don't know why Lao Yu looks at mosquitoes? There is a rule in the ward that the door is locked at twelve o'clock at night, and the door is locked. What does the mosquito outside the ward have to do with him? At this time, Lao Yu said: Brother, can you help me take a look? Over there, vaguely ...... Is it a shadow?

I went up to me and said, "What are you looking for?"

Lao Yu said: My son. There are no escorts in the ward, and my son is outside......

It was late at night. I leaned on the glass door and looked out for a while, but I saw only the street lamps, the dim street lamps, and some flowers and plants, but I didn't see anything.

Lao Yu said: Have you seen my son?

I shook my head and said, "Nothing."

Lao Yu slipped out of the ground and sat down by the glass door. muttered...... After talking about the beginning of autumn, I put a mat and a blanket, don't freeze.

Going down, Lao Yu told me that there were 100 peach trees, 100 pear trees, and 100 apple trees planted on the land he had contracted, all of which were bearing fruit. It was planted for his son. He said that this year's fruit was particularly abundant and thick. The fruits are covered with plastic bags, and each fruit is wrapped in a bag, which is more elaborate than waiting for a woman...... He said that the harvest is good, but he is also afraid that the fruit will have worms, so he has to take medicine every ten days and a half months, and the "dimethoate" is matched, which is proportional. He said he had shot 97 apple trees that day, leaving three un...... He was really tired that day, and he wanted to finish it. But while fighting, my head was dizzy, and I couldn't see. You say, "Okay, it's out of sight." I hurried to the hospital, and the county hospital couldn't see it, so I came to the province to check it, and said that it was "retinal detachment", what is this disease called?

Next, Lao Yu said: These fruit trees are planted for his son. My son is in his third year of college this year and will graduate next year. He wanted to go to graduate school......

I said, "That's a good thing."

Lao Yu said: My son works very hard, and if he doesn't go home during the holidays, he will definitely be able to pass the exam. I said, just keep reading up, get a PhD. You say, can our Yu family have a doctorate?

I comforted him and said, "Yes." Definitely.

Lao Yu said: Three hundred fruit trees, sending a doctor, is also worth it.

Just then, the west door opened, and a group of people came in, shouting and pushing a medical cart with a stretcher...... It was another emergency patient coming in.

At this time, Lao Yu heard the voice of the person, knew that the door was open, and hurriedly got up...... But he didn't stand up a few times, I stepped forward to help him, and he muttered: Waist, look at my waist...... After standing up, he didn't finish his words, but he supported his waist with one hand and the wall with the other, and walked to the west...... He went looking for his son.

A month later, a cloth bag of apples was placed in the hallway of the ward...... It is said that this bag of fruit was carried by Lao Yu's wife from more than 100 miles away on Lao Yu's orders. She carried a cloth bag of "fallen fruits", saying that it was for doctors and nurses. But the nurses didn't want it, probably because they had been drugged, or "fallen fruit" (the good fruit still grows on the tree, and Lao Yu is reluctant to give it), so they put it in the aisle, and anyone can eat it......

In the ophthalmology ward, some old patients have lived for a long time and are familiar with the doctors and nurses, so they can talk casually. On this day, Xiao Zhang, a nurse who came to get the injection, said: Lao Yu's son is too unreasonable.

I asked: What's wrong?

Xiao Zhang said: Lao Yu planted 300 fruit trees, but he never ate a good apple. If you think about it, even what is sent to the hospital is a "falling fruit". The good fruit was sold for money, and it was used by his son to go to school. But his son is not angry, and he plays games in the Internet café opposite the hospital every day. Fight all night, shake it during the day, and don't care about the old ...... at all Lao Yu didn't know, Lao Yu still praised him.

I said, "Didn't he cook for Lao Yu?" I met him once.

Xiao Zhang said: Just hit a meal. Never again.

I said: Didn't Lao Yu say that his son is studying very well and wants to provide a doctorate?

Xiao Zhang said: Doctor is a fart. The head nurse's lover is from that university. I inquired early and said that this student named Yu Xinkuan ...... I'm a senior, I failed several subjects, and I play games every day.

I said: Lao Yu...... I don't know?

Xiao Zhang said: No one dared to tell him. Lao Yu is still dreaming of being a doctor. It's a pity for his three hundred fruit trees.

Lao Yu suffers from "retinal detachment", has just undergone surgery, his eyes are blindfolded, he touches and walks every day, and only eats steamed buns and pickles...... But he was happy. When he met people, he said: The Yu family is going to have a doctor.

People also pandered to him, saying, "Yes." How nice.

Little Joe saw that I was coming.

Little Joe never imagined that Little Joe would come to see me.

On this day, Little Joe was dressed very plainly. This has never been done before in Xiao Qiao. Xiao Qiao was wearing a sky-blue professional suit, a formal suit, which was a very standardized skirt. She wrapped herself tightly, neither bare her breasts nor burst breasts, and her hair was changed to the kind of student head with bangs. Her nails were washed cleanly and not painted with any color. She also lost a lot of weight, and she looked a little haggard...... Holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand, she stood in front of my hospital bed and called softly: Mr. Wu.

I turned around, looked at her in surprise, and said, "Little Joe, you ...... How did it come?

Xiao Qiao said: After working under you for so many years, come to see you, shouldn't you?

For a moment, my heart was warm, and I didn't know what to say. I said, "Thank you." Thank you.

At this time, tears welled up in Xiao Qiao's eyes, and Xiao Qiao said: Mr. Wu, as soon as I heard that you had a car accident, my scalp exploded. Why are you so unlucky? I'm scared to death...... You must have suffered a lot.

I said: Nothing. It's all gone.

Little Joe said: Yes. If you don't die in a great calamity, you will have a blessing in the future. Mr. Wu, the whole company is praising you.

I smiled, shook my head, and said, "I've been away for so long...... What are you praising me?

Xiao Qiao said: Praise you for being a master. Win without a fight. Now you are the largest shareholder of Hoputang Pharmaceutical.

What does it mean to "win without a fight"? It's like I've got some kind of conspiracy. I know, Joe is talking about stocks, and I don't want to say anything more about that......

Xiao Qiao's eyes blinked, and the cleverness came up again, and said: Everyone knows that you are a good person. You are being squeezed out. At the beginning, you made great contributions to the company...... But you left when you said you left, and you didn't complain at all. Now, everyone understands that you are a real person who does not show up and is generous. There must be someone to guide you! The man behind you is a ...... High-ranking officials, right?

I just smiled. I said it, I don't explain.

Xiao Qiao said: A few days ago, some people said that if Mr. Wu didn't leave, the company would never have such a mess, and the chairman would not ...... But only I know that in Beijing that year, I can see that Wu is always superior. It's just the right time to go. Otherwise, you will be implicated.

I hurriedly said: Words cannot be said like this. Now that the matter has come out, don't ...... it again Right?

At this time, Xiao Qiao said: Mr. Wu, there are some things that I can't tell anyone, and no one believes them. I can only tell you...... When something happened to the company, I was the first to be implicated. I received it on behalf of the company. Mr. Wu, you don't know, it's really not human for me to suffer that sin inside. All day long, a large light bulb shines on the ...... You say I'm a weak woman, who did you provoke? But the first one to be taken away was me. At that time, I was still in Beijing, and as soon as I went out, I was handcuffed and killed...... I was locked up for more than a month, and I managed to survive. You can inquire, I was inside, tight-lipped and didn't say a word "no" to the company. No matter how much they pushed me or threatened me, I wouldn't say anything. Suffice it to say, I haven't done a single thing that hurt the company. But later, something happened to the chairman...... Can I be blamed for this?

As she spoke, Little Joe began to cry. Xiao Qiao cried and said: Mr. Wu, you don't know, a woman like Wei Lili has a heart that is more ruthless than a poisonous snake! Now, she is single-handedly covering the sky in the company. You know what she did to me? She fired me. Not only did he not give a penny, but he also spread rumors everywhere that I was ...... I'm wronged, I'm more wronged than Dou E!

Xiao Qiao said: You don't know Wei Lili's ruthlessness. Don't look at her usual pretending to be a bird, talking loudly, that's all pretending. Now her fox tail is finally revealed! Holding a child in one hand, as if holding the "Shang Fang Sword" in his hand, the sound of footsteps can be heard on every floor...... Who?

Xiao Qiao said: Actually, she and Luo Dong have been separated a long time ago, and they have been separated for many years. The two have been arguing about divorce, and they are just a piece of paper. Who doesn't know about this company? Now, as soon as Luo Dong dies, you are not there...... She was dressed up and went up the mountain to pick peaches. Mr. Wu, let me say something from my heart, Shuangfeng Company was created by you and Mr. Luo. If you take it, everyone has no opinion. But she, why?!

Xiao Qiao said: Wei Lili, you didn't pay attention, she is in the dark. She ruined my reputation everywhere, saying that I seduced Luo Dong...... You also know that Luo Dong is usually very arrogant, so he is joking or something, and he has nothing to do with our subordinates. To put it bluntly, even if he really wants to be good with me, that's ...... Eat a tofu and that's it. Say, "Am I such a man?"

Xiao Qiao said: Mr. Wu, you have to call the shots for me. There's one thing, you know. Just the nouveau riche, who is in the real estate business, the meat-bun-faced Song Xintai, carrying a box of money, crying and kneeling in front of my door, he has to wrap me. I opened the door and spat on him! If I am really that kind of person, who do I want to seduce, and it is her turn to do this to me? Hmph, Luo Dong divorced her a long time ago...... Alas, I'm still too kind-hearted.

Down, Xiao Qiao lowered his voice and said: Mr. Wu, you left early, and you may not know some inside information. This time the company had an accident, mainly because of Xia Xiaoyu's trouble. Xia Xiaoyu is Lao Fan's lover, and he has been good with Lao Fan for many years, and he has to make a name. She went to the provincial government, so that Lao Fan couldn't get off the stage. And one more secret, you know? This Xia Xiaoyu, on the surface, is quiet. Actually, I was ruthless in my heart. It is said that I also heard from others that for a while, Xia Xiaoyu dared to pry Lao Fan's subordinates, saying that he wanted to hire underworld people to get Lao Fan's wife into the mountains. That means that she is going to find someone to harm her...... Oops, that's too complicated here.

I was taken aback, I really didn't know how to believe her words. Besides, she "you" for a while, "you" for a while, and I don't know what to say.

Then, Xiao Qiao said: Do you know, Xia Xiaoyu was sentenced. Lao Fan is also soon.

Yes, the camel didn't save anyone in the end......

Later, Fan Jiafu was still "shuanggui". Fan Jiafu has been reading for a total of 22 years. He first studied at a university in China, and then traveled thousands of miles to the United States for further study...... was meant to serve the country, but he walked and turned back. In the past few days, Fan Jiafu has gone through a lot of hardships, first replacing the cardigan that his mother had painstakingly sewn for him with a Chinese school uniform with small lapels, then an American suit, and then an American suit and an Italian casual jacket...... Now I have taken off my jacket again, first in a yellow vest (for convicted offenders), and it is said that I will soon be wearing a green vest (sentenced...... Earlier, every summer, he would help his mother plant corn in the fields of his hometown. Later, he also obtained a doctorate in agronomy in the United States, and after returning to China after graduating from the doctorate, he was assigned to the Institute of Agricultural Sciences and became a nationally renowned breeding expert, cultivating "Corn No. 5"; Now, it is said that he was wearing a yellow vest, sitting behind the high wall of the prison, facing the bars, and said loudly again and again: Report to the government, I want to apply for 20 acres of land and go back to plant corn...... Fan Jiafu walked in such a big circle, can this be all blamed on the camel?

Little Joe had been babbling in my hospital room all morning. There are a lot of things that I know. There are also things that I don't know. Although I can't tell the truth from the fake, I know what happened to her and the camel...... When it was almost noon, she didn't say to leave. I thought she might have something in mind.

But I don't talk about her work. I can't mention it either...... I deliberately digressed the subject and said, "I ask you, camel, does he have depression?"

Little Joe said: Depression? Says who? Wei Lili. Hmph, when I was in Beijing, I slept ......

I said, "You don't know?"

Little Joe said: Nonsense. He just doesn't sleep well...... It's all public opinion created by Wei Lili. Minimize negative impacts so that the company is in your hands.

I said, "Yes?"

Little Joe reminisced about the past...... As he spoke, he slipped out...... Once, I saw him sit up in the middle of the night and talk to the wall...... Weird and scary.

I don't ask anymore. I can't ask either. Living in the eye ward, I was very sensitive to Xiao Qiao's "nonsense". If I want to ask again, it's also "nonsense".

In the end, Xiao Qiao first took the initiative to pick up the kettle and gave me a bottle of boiling water, then picked up the washbasin under the bed, gave me a basin of water, picked up a towel and wet it in the basin, wrung it out and came forward to wipe my face...... I was startled and hurriedly said: I can't do it. I can't do it.

At this time, Xiao Qiao said softly: Mr. Wu, I have a small request, can you agree to me?

I said, "You say."

Little Joe muttered: I think, I want to stay and take care of you.

My heart moved...... That's when I smelled her perfume. She dressed herself up as "plain", but she still wore perfume. This perfume seems light, but it is very flushed when it is close. I've heard people say that this is a French brand-name CD, aka "poison".

I was shocked and hurriedly said: No. No.

Xiao Qiao said: Mr. Wu, I don't mean anything else. You are an old leader and have helped me a lot, I just ......

I said, "Not really." I'm almost done. You can take care of yourself. It's true. Thank you for coming to see me.

At this time, Xiao Qiao said: Mr. Wu, when will you return to the company? As long as you go back, you are the largest shareholder, and Wei Lili has to stand aside.

I said: I've been away for a long time, and I don't necessarily go back.

Little Joe looked at me and said faintly: You still don't believe me.

I said, "Little Joe, you are capable, and you will do well wherever you go." Shape up or ship out.

Xiao Qiao was very alert and asked: What did Wei Lili tell you about me?

I said, "No." Not really.

Little Joe is gone, disappointed.

Thirty-seven beds were extra beds, and when the ward was full, they lay down in the corridor.

On the night when Lao Yu was looking for his son, another patient came from the emergency room - thirty-seven beds.

Thirty-seven came in with bloody bandages and his entire head covered...... What was particularly striking was that when he was pushed in, he was followed by a very beautiful woman in a wedding dress.

Thirty-seven beds is the most visited patient in the family and the most discussed in the entire ophthalmology ward. I found out only on the third day after I was hospitalized. This is a young man, only twenty-two years old, who has only been married for three days.

Thirty-seven beds were sent from a county hospital to the north. It is said that his father was a village chief. In China's 9.6 million square kilometers of land, village chiefs are the lowest level of cadres. In the sequence of state cadres, the village head is not counted as a cadre. But if it is a relatively wealthy village, when the village chief has the right to use hundreds of millions of assets, or corresponding manpower and material resources, he is a cadre. Moreover, sometimes, his degree of freedom is even greater than that of the township and county heads (in our country, the economic form at the village level is the most ambiguous. First of all, it is neither a state nor a person, it is called a "collective economy". In a sense, the "collective economy" is ownerless and not subject to the constraints of property owners, and whoever is in power has the final say...... The father of Thirty-Seven Beds is such a village chief.

However, at this time, the village chief and his wife were just watching from the sidelines, full of anxiety and helpless...... It's just that there are more people who come to visit. In the days that followed, there was a steady stream of visitors...... A village and various relationships, about a few hundred people, have been here one after another. The corridors of the eye ward were bustling with activity.

But Thirty-Seven Beds has been silent. No matter who came to visit, he didn't say a word. His entire face and hands were covered, and he looked bloody, which was terrifying. It's just that in the middle of the night, he will suddenly "whoop"! Kicking his legs, he howled and couldn't hold it down...... It's scary. There must have been a flame in his chest, and the fire burst out from between his teeth, and he fell on the bed like a fish in a frying pan!

Then the mother was attached to the bed, with tears on her face, and said, "Son, do you hurt?" Where do you hurt...... Then he glanced at his new daughter-in-law as if he was pleading, hoping that she would say something.

The new daughter-in-law also kept standing in front of the hospital bed, looking very helpless and frightened...... She was very obedient, and at the request of her mother-in-law, the new daughter-in-law held the only remaining finger of the thirty-seven beds - the thumb and said: Can, do you hurt?

Thirty-seven shook off the hand that had grabbed him at once, and continued to howl......

So, the family rushed to the doctor.

Later, little by little, the thing came out of the mouths of the people. Thirty-seven is the only son of the village chief, and on the third day of his marriage, on a whim, he wants to go fishing in the reservoir. Not far from their village, there is a large reservoir. So, the three young men, cousins and cousins, left their new daughter-in-law at home and went fishing together. After fishing for a while, the fish did not catch, so I found detonators and explosives, and planned to blow up the fish...... This must have been done in the past. Otherwise, he wouldn't have these things. As a result, the explosives in the bottles, which were made by the local method, were not exploded after being detonated with an electric detonator. Thirty-Seven ran forward, pulled up the bottle containing the explosives, and said that he wanted to see what was going on...... But at this moment, in a second or two, the explosive bottle exploded in his hand, and immediately injured his eyes and hands, which was miserable!

In the days that followed, the injured eyes of the thirty-seven beds were removed...... His family held their heads and said nothing.

Often, in the middle of the night, there will be a few howls in the eye ward! The howl was like a blood-stained tightrope, and the branches were so sharp that they were terrifying!

The father, holding his head, squatted on the ground, sighing one after another.

Yes, the new house that was just built, the two-story building, the new daughter-in-law who just married, the family has everything, and the days should be very beautiful. Just for a thought? Or rather indulgence from childhood...... This accident was caused and can never be repaired. Sometimes, I think, if the father of the thirty-seven bed was not the village chief, would he have had this incident? Where did he get the explosives and detonators? Besides, will the reservoir manager allow him to blow up the fish? Sometimes, even that little privilege can hurt people.

Of course, this may not have anything to do with the village chief. No matter what the eldest son is, he may not always fry fish...... But when he was so young, blind, and had lost his hands, how was he going to live after that?

That call was so abrupt that I burst into tears.

For many years, no one has ever called me that...... She said: Brother Lost, don't you know each other? It's me.

There was a woman standing in front of my hospital bed. It looks like he still has a handsome foundation, but his heart is piled up on his face, which is very "steel". "Steel" is supposed to describe a man, and it should be a man's true color. But these days, women who are supposed to be made of water are like quenched fire, becoming more and more "steel", each more "steel" than the other. It's not in the clothes, she's still dressed very decently. But standing in front of this woman, you feel that she is "steel". I guess that a woman will only be infected with this "steel" gas if she has been soaking in the men's pile for a long time and has fought frequently in the business world.

She said: Brother Di, can't you hear it? Don't recognize people? I'm going to peel off three layers of skin with my eyes closed.

As soon as I heard it, I knew that this ruthlessness came from my hometown. These words are rough and thick-skinned, and although the words are ruthless, they are close to the heart, revealing familiarity and cordiality close to the bones. So, I said, "Slow, slow, tell me to think about it...... Reed incense, it's reed incense, right? Cai Sifan, Mr. Cai.

She said, "I say, right?" You don't have such a bad memory...... I came to see the individual (referring to the "patient"), and in the aisle, looking at the back picture (this is the hometown dialect, referring to the "back") is you. Really...... Brother Lost, don't laugh at me. I heard that your "swollen" (total) hair is bigger than mine, you are a pickle jar, I am a basin, and the hair is thicker than my waist, right?

I smiled, wryly.

She said, "Look, look at you?" I don't ask you to borrow money. Then he asked, "What's wrong?" Got something wrong with your eyes?

I said: car accident.

She looked up and down...... Say, "Well, that's not bad." Good. All alive.

These words still feel familiar. Only those who have endured hardships and hometown people will say this: as long as they are "all alive" and do not lack arms and legs, it is a blessing......

Next, her face was pulled down, and she said with a tense face: Brother Di, you have to rehabilitate me. You have to rehabilitate me!

I smiled and said, "I'm not from the government department, and you're not Liang Wufang...... What can I vindicate you?

She said: If I don't run into you, I won't talk about it. Now that I've met you, I'll have to talk about it. That Liang blind man (referring to Liang Wufang, in the plains, anyone who tells fortunes is derogatorily called "blind" and praised as "half-fairy"), didn't you make my rumors?

At this time, I felt a "groan" in my heart, and suddenly turned over the river and the sea, and suddenly remembered the basin of "sweat and blood pomegranate...... That pomegranate, I always carry it with me, wherever I go.

Cai Sifan said: That Liang is blind, is it a loss? I spread rumors everywhere, and I have a nose and an eye. Said I cut off my father's head and planted it into a pot of flowers...... Do you believe that?!

Cai Sifan said that the fifth uncle, a sentence of "Liang Blind", I can't take her words, I only smile bitterly.

She said hatefully: Liang is blind, a rogue criminal, how much money did you cheat me...... Still arranging me like this, what's your heart? Yes, in the early years, when I was short of money and had no way to ask for help, I had the heart to hang myself...... But I'm not going to sell my daddy's head, am I? This thing is still spreading everywhere.

She said, "You know, my father chased my mother from the city to the countryside. Although he and my mother have been fighting all their lives, the relationship between the two is good...... Then he was paralyzed and couldn't get out. I bought the pomegranate for him so that he could see the scene. My mother was still afraid that he would be "lonely", so I bought him a dog so that he could listen to it...... Later, when my father died, some people said that the pot of pomegranates was a scene and very valuable, so I gave it away. Just this bit of bullshit, passed around and around, and they all spread me as a murderous chicken woman who doesn't see blood!

She said: You don't know how hard it is to run a business now. Those people in the village, you use him, he says that you give low wages, and scolds you; You don't need him, he said that you don't do things for the people of the village, and he also arranges you...... In these days, no one believes the truth. Rumors are believed.

…… I was stunned. I don't know who to trust when she says that. I really can't tell, is the pot of pomegranates I bought in the first place a mistake?

Then, she nagged me again: Brother Di, do you have a conscience to let the dog eat? My dad gave you all the benefits. The benefits of a village are all taken by you alone. You don't even have the heart to go back and take a look?

I'm. Speechless. I want to say, I want to go back, I really want to. But I ......

Cai Sifan said: Is your spine wet?

I'm confused: wet?

Cai Sifan smiled and said: Spit on the back of Xingzi, are you not trendy? Also, the backbone is not penetrated...... And he said, "No wonder you are wearing a suit."

I understand. Say: How many people in the village scolded me?

Cai Sifan said: I can't talk nonsense. Think for yourself.

At this time, through Cai Sifan's words, I couldn't help asking: Old girl, you tell the truth, did you send those anonymous letters?

Cai Sifan said: Who said that? Who orchestrated me? Is Liang blind?

I say...... There was only one sentence on the anonymous letter: Give the mouth milk. Isn't it you?

Cai Sifan laughed and said...... Scared, right? Not me. Not really.

I remember a time when I often received anonymous letters and I couldn't sleep at night...... That was the tone of the old uncle: Give the mouth milk to eat. But the old uncle has passed away.

Before leaving, Cai Sifan said: Brother Lost, if you have a conscience, you should go back to your hometown to have a look.

I said, "yes, I want to go back too."

She said: If you have money in your hand, you can invest some money in your hometown.

I muttered, "I'm going back, so I'll plant trees......

She said, "Okay." You plant trees, I cut them. My board factory, you go and see, fully modern......

I don't know what to say.

Twenty-four beds are a very strange person.

Twenty-four beds are a small one, and they are very energetic. I mean, when he walks, he shows a kind of "stiff" feeling. In the ophthalmology ward, he is the only one who walks upright. He was small, with a wounded eye, and he walked in the corridor of the ward, standing tall and leaning. Actually, it's tiring. For a long time, he held a mobile phone in his hand, panicked, his head straight, didn't look at people, just pouted and hurried out. I was talking on the phone while walking, and I looked very busy.

At night, he was also alone, walking around the building of the eye ward. It's very heavy, walking round and round, and I don't know what I'm doing...... However, whoever sees him will think that this is a man who does great things.

Later, the nine-bed Lao Xu told me: That person, look at the person, twenty-four beds, a small man, with his head up, and always holding up a mobile phone, all the way "hey, hey, hey", half of the idlers ignored him. The owner is the director of a large factory, the deputy.

And he said, guess what? (I'm idle.) He was panicking. They brought in foreign capital, and he was in a hurry to negotiate with foreign businessmen. They have a big iron gate in the factory, and the factory has a big iron gate. As soon as the bell rang, the big iron gate was closed. There is also a small iron gate left on the large iron gate, and people can enter and exit at any time. As for him, he is small, he has been walking for many years with this little iron gate, and he can't be more familiar...... But on the day of the negotiation, something happened. Guess what's going on? Unthinkable, the big iron gate was tied with iron chains; The small iron door is welded with a door nose, and the iron one can also be locked. That is, on the morning of negotiating with foreign businessmen, he was in a hurry to leave and stepped into the small iron gate. He was low, his eyes were just at the same level as the door and nose of the small iron gate, and he only heard a "flutter" sound, and his eyes, no, the iron door nose, the whole thing, pierced into his eyes. You say this inch?

Yes, no matter who you tell about such a thing, he will not believe it. How could such a small nose get into people's eyes? This should be considered an accident. But in this world, everything that is happening and what has happened is an accident one by one. Thus, all the accidents constitute the necessity. According to people in his factory, he was responsible that day. He supervised and cleaned the conference room for negotiations several times. Even the name on the negotiation table was revised three times...... In this regard, you can't say that he is not serious. Can you say that a person who has checked the name of the meeting three times is not serious? He's serious. But his eyes were on the door and nose.

In this way, he has suffered a familiar loss. The road is a familiar road. It's so ripe that it can't be more cooked, and it's a road that is often walked. The door is also a frequent door. The door that can walk with your eyes closed actually blinded the factory director's eyes?! These things were told by the people who came to visit him in his factory. He never said it himself. Don't tell anyone in the ward. He may have been ashamed to mention it. Look, your eyes are like this, what are you panicking about? But he was in the hospital, in and out, still panicking. That's personality.

After knowing the situation of the twenty-four bed, I always wanted to talk to him. We all have one eye wrapped around us, so to speak, sympathy. However, one day, when I met him in the aisle, I said: Lao Wei (his surname is Wei, he was told by someone else).

He turned around abruptly and said, "What unit are you from?"

I just wanted to remind him about "cross-infection......

But he was very vigilant and repeated very stiffly: What unit are you from?

I'm bored. I don't want to say anything more.

That night, on the edge of the flower bed outside the ophthalmology ward, a group of people, old and young, about twenty or thirty people, gathered. They were chattering about something around the twenty-four beds...... Twenty-four beds stood in the center of them as if they were in a meeting, waving from time to time to say something. The men, first standing, then squatting, discussed until late in the evening. The twenty-four beds were already small, and one eye was still blindfolded...... He just stood there for half the night.

The next morning, the nine-bed old Xu ran and said: Thirteen beds (I am thirteen beds), do you know, twenty-four beds, the factory director, go through the discharge procedures.

I said, "Cured?"

He said, "What a fart." His heart was not in his eyes.

I said, "No, right?" Hurt so badly......

He said: Last night, someone came to his house, and dozens of people came at once, all of them were his relatives, shouting that he had to go back...... And guess why?

I said, "Why?"

He said: Their factory is engaged in a joint-stock system...... Guess what he's most afraid of?

I said, "What are you afraid of?"

He said: What I am most afraid of about these twenty-four beds is that people will use the restructuring and his eye injury...... dismissed the deputy director and didn't let him do it. He was scared to death!

I said: It's still important to treat his eyes, he is so badly injured, a lifetime thing.

He said, "Oh, you don't know, last night I was sitting by the flower bed." His family, all his relatives, worked in the factory. Isn't this a restructuring? As soon as the shareholding system is changed, it is necessary to lay off people...... His relatives have become ants on a hot pot. What do you think, if he can't become the factory director, his wife and all his relatives may be laid off...... How can he have the heart to heal his eyes?

I said: Discharged?

Lao Xu said: No, the operation has just been done...... Gone early in the morning.

Yes, Twenty-Four Beds is a factory director. When he became the factory director, it was not because these relatives helped him anything, but because he worked his own. But now, since he is the director of the factory, he can't help those relatives, who are going to be laid off...... So, like a camel, he is just a man of time. He panicked to negotiate with a foreign businessman and stabbed one eye. Now, for the sake of those relatives, he left in a panic again.

Let's not talk about it. During my days in the hospital, every day there were (constantly changing) patients coming in: one, two, three, four, five, six...... All the way up to fifty-eight beds. Heaven has given us a pair of eyes, which are meant to see the way. But our eyes are all wrong. It was fate that left us here and brought us together to sympathize with each other. In the eye ward, almost everyone has a strange experience, and that eye disease is also caused by a variety of strange reasons.

If you walk down the street, you will never see it.

Before I was discharged from the hospital, the last one to see me, guess who?

- Plum Village.

We're all a little bit dusty. We are all people in the dust, and we look at each other......

I said, "There are no more roses."

I said, "Abyssinian roses, there are only rods left."

I said, "Are you still?"

When I started seeing the world with one eye, my perspective on many things changed. I'm no longer rigid and demanding perfection. I know that there is no real perfection in this world, there are only illusions and regrets. Actually, deep down, I always expected her to say that sentence, and as long as she could still say that sentence, I would ......

But just then, my phone rang. The call was from Wei Lili. Wei Lili said on the phone: Lao Wu, have you decided? At the time, I hesitated.

I know very well that in the current situation, whether it is securities or industry...... It's impossible for you not to have relationships and not to bribe. I assert that this is the same in any business. Once you're in, it's just a matter of size and number (it's an unwritten rule that you have to visit people who might be in control of your business or might cause trouble for your business at every festival). If you don't do this, you won't be able to move an inch. Sometimes, time and business opportunities have to be bought with money, they need to be accommodated, and you don't even have the conditions to work around. It's not even a matter of the government, what you have to deal with is one person at a time, one thing at a time, and I believe that most of them are good people...... However, as long as you meet a bad person, or a selfish person, he can hold you back and make you unable to do anything. At this point, you have the potential to become a second camel.

I waited for a word from Umemura......

Wei Lili is waiting for my words......

I said into my phone: It's decided.

The sun outside the window was nice.

I saw with my left eye that there were two suns in the sky. It is flowery, ghostly, mottled, like a sunflower with a pedicle side-by-side; With the right eye alone, there is only one sun in the sky. It's round, it's brilliant, it's fiery red...... It's the same with people.

To be honest, when I look at the sun, I'm ashamed. I am ashamed of myself and for every one of my countrymen. When I had my first surgery, it was very unsuccessful and I cried every day. Do you think, what is it like for a big man to cry and wipe his tears every day? I said to myself, forget about your death. But later, I understood that it was because of a thread, a sheep intestine, and this sheep intestine is domestic. Later, after the second operation, the import thread was changed, and it was very different. I really want to shout: I, my compatriot. Can we be more down-to-earth with ourselves? Be a little more down-to-earth. Isn't it just a thread, let's start by making a thread!

I waited for Umemura, and I expected her to say that.

[note 1] "Leather cow" is a plain country saying, known in some places as a spinning top. It's played with a whip. I once heard a camel say that in his childhood, what he wanted most was a "leather cow", the kind with steel balls inlaid underneath.