I think my parents should be like the vast majority of parents in China, my father is wooden and my mother is chattering. They have lived on this land for generations, just like their parents, and have supported their family on a few acres of thin fields.

During the slack time, the men get together to play cards and drink wine, and the women get together to work as female workers and talk about gossip. When the farm is busy, everyone is busy with their own work, and when their work is done, they will help together to see who can't keep up with the labor force. After helping the main family to cook a meal, several families have a happy meal together, and the next time other families need help, it will be the same.

If it weren't for that hugely impactful reform, I think my parents would have been like their parents and would have been rooted in that small mountain village for the rest of their lives. Relying on the barren land to feed their children, my father would also play cards with his uncles in the village during his off-season.

The mother, on the other hand, sat on the steps of the square with her aunts and worked as female laborers, chatting about whose pigs in the village had given birth to piglets, and how their daughters had married their sons-in-law.

They may support me to continue my studies if I have a good academic record, or they may find me a master carpenter early to learn carpentry skills. In their opinion, the craftsmen will not die of hunger in the sky, and this ancient precept left by the ancestors is not unreasonable.

If all goes well, they will build me a new house when I am about 20 years old, and then ask Grandma Wu from the village to introduce me to a girl in the village or in the next village.

Because the two families have lived in that small mountain village for generations, everyone knows the roots, and we have passed by countless times on the school playground. So it didn't take too much process, and naturally we tied the knot in the blessings of the parents of both sides and the villagers of Shili and Eight Towns.

Our first child will be born within a year of our marriage, and we will work together as a family in the fields during the busy farming season, and the children will be cared for by the mother or wife. They watched the children and were responsible for preparing our meals.

When I was not working, I would carry my toolbox around to do odd jobs for others and earn some money to subsidize my family. The mother would take her wife to make a new cotton coat for the child with the newly grown cotton, and then make two pairs of cloth shoes with mille-feuille soles for the whole family.

It's just obvious that the small mountain village we live in less than a hundred miles away from Chengdu cannot isolate the voices of the outside world. With the deepening of reform, more and more young people have gone out of the mountains, and have gone to Chengdu and Chongqing, and to Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen.

And his father, who had just become an adult, couldn't hold back his impatient heart, and followed a few uncles in the village to Chengdu to see the bigger world. After marrying my mother and having my sister and me, I had to go farther to the Northeast in order to meet the increasing expenses, which was more than ten years.

It is precisely his part-time work life for more than ten years that has made my father's love missing. Finally, when he came back, he found that everything could not be returned, and it seemed that there was no need for this person called "Dad" in my world.

And he was helpless in the face of a son who was already about the same height as him and had spent less than a year together for more than ten years. In this way, we missed the most important time in each other's lives, and we missed almost all the warmth in our father-son lives.

During that period of savage growth, I led the children of the same age in the village up and down the mountains and rivers to cause trouble, while trying to adapt to the various uneasiness caused by the lack of father's love. Father is like a lighthouse to a boy, no matter how you drift and lose your way in the raging waves, as long as you see him, you know where you should go.

But my lighthouse was lost in its own course, trying to adapt to the ever-changing world, while worrying about my wife and children at home. Gloomy clouds climbed up his face, the heroism of his eyebrows and eyes was gradually replaced by deep ravines, and his upright body became more and more rickety.

On the few days of reunion, he would always proudly tell us how beautiful the building he and his co-workers had built together. And what an important role he played in it, and what an important role he played.

However, his mother's annual credit for fertilizers, pesticides, seeds, piglet money, and the tuition fees of our siblings often made him embarrassed. This man, who once used the bricks in his hand to build one high-rise building after another, did not dare or admit that he was unable to take on the responsibility of building a family life.

Because behind him stood the people he had spent his life protecting, a simple, kind, desireless wife and two ignorant children. Whatever the reason, he couldn't lift the burden off his shoulders, let alone face a pair of disappointed eyes. His only choice is to grit his teeth and persevere, keep burning his life and blood, and tap his potential little by little.

But fate is sometimes like that, and he doesn't show mercy to your men just because you're weak or you've been through a lot of hardship. He will only get worse and worse until he falls completely. But there are some people who can't fall, such as my father.

In China, the vast majority of fathers will not fall, no matter how life ravages, they will always be resilient and always standing. Because under their wings, it is their children who are cowering, and it is the hope that they would rather burn their lives than protect.

In the same way, my father never fell, he used his rickety body to support our stormy home and support our family's vision for the future.

My father became a complex symbol in my mind, his eyes were dark and deep, his back was broad and heavy, and his palms were rough and powerful. He is deeply rooted in my heart, yet too far away to reach. The relationship between father and son determines that we have an extremely intimate relationship with each other, but we are as distant as two strangers.

I tried to get closer, but I was always deterred by his silence, and I could only stand far away. Our relationship is like a planet guarding a star, orbiting far away, but we can't get closer. I think we are a portrayal of the vast majority of father-son relationships in China, restrained, stern, wooden, and even cold.

And his father, who worked hard for a living in the city, also experienced great uncertainty in his life. The skills of cultivating the land that I learned from my fathers are obviously worthless in the face of a wide variety of machines and equipment. The knowledge he learned in the four years of primary school was also not enough to support him to understand the complicated formulas on various drawings.

He could only use his powerful body to carry a pile of bricks and tiles, stacking them piece by piece into a high-rise building. And he never had the opportunity to live in the buildings he had built brick by brick in his life, and he had never even seen them in person.

Because while the buildings were being renovated and ready to welcome their new owners, my father and his co-workers were already sweating on another construction site for the completion of another building.

In just over ten years, I learned from my father that they had participated in countless large and small projects. But those dreams he once had were built into the buildings with the bricks and tiles he piled up.

By the time my father actually came back to us, he was past the prime of life, and his work had been replaced by someone younger and more hard-working than he was. The father had to return to his hometown, where he had been absent for many years, to his wife and children, whom he had neglected for a long time.

My father's return meant that our family lost their main source of income, and after a short period of repair, my father had to embark on a new journey again. Only this time it was different that he brought his mother and sister with him.

Yes, after wrestling with fate for half his life, he chose to compromise. Let my sister embark on the same life path as them, and on the eve of departure, they just silently packed their luggage. My mother occasionally told me a few words, but she didn't show me too much sadness. Yes, more than a decade of separation has made us all come to the norm with separation.

The long-distance bus heading south took away his parents and sister, and his mother, who was going out for the first time, was very excited along the way. When she arrived in Zhejiang, thousands of miles away, the first phone call she made to me was to constantly introduce me to what she had seen and heard along the way. The building is a lot taller than the county hospital, the streets are full of cars speeding around, and the asphalt road is cleaner than the village barn.

Everything was new to her, and she was even happier to earn fifty or sixty yuan a day working ten hours in the workshop. In her words, she no longer has to climb dozens of meters of mountains with dozens of catties of manure to water her crops, and she no longer has to go to the fields to do farm work in the heat of more than 30 degrees.

Compared to her mother's novelty, her sister's performance was much calmer, and the moment she set foot on southern soil, she should have foreseen her future. I think she prefers the quietness and peace of the classroom to the noisy workshop. It's just a pity that the hand of fate has not stopped destroying our family.

She knew that she was powerless to resist, so she could only be forced to choose to obey, but fortunately she still had the confidence to shout to fate. At least she doesn't even know her own name like her mother, and she doesn't have to bear the burden of the family's life like her father. The only person she is responsible for is herself, and she only needs to vent her inner anger to the world.

And I seemed to see another reincarnation of fate, and from the moment my sister turned to leave, I already understood that the wheel of fate had returned to the starting point. And this time the protagonists are no longer my parents, but my sister and me.

When my sister hung up the phone, she whispered to me that if she needed anything, she would try to be satisfied with me. I think this time she also played the role that my parents used to play, and she wanted to use herself as the cornerstone of my climb, and I couldn't settle for it anyway.

Sitting in the car and looking out, I wondered if my sister was waiting for the verdict of fate as quietly as I am now, and whether she was full of anxiety and trepidation about the upcoming life as I am now.

Looking at the buildings on both sides of the road, I listened to Wu's father and Wu's mother's whispered reprimand for Wu Kai and I not being admitted to college, especially my name Sun Shan. There was a deep warmth in my heart, and it was true that my failure was unacceptable to my parents and those who knew me.

Although I'm not a super student, the sudden defeat of me, who has always been at the top, still makes them somewhat incomprehensible. And I didn't try to defend myself too much, I just smiled dumbly in the face of all the questions I cared about.

Growing up in that quiet mountain village, most of the lives I have seen have never left that land. For the title of the gold list, I don't have a special yearning for the fish leaping dragon gate or something.

Especially after seeing the living environment of my parents and sister in Zhejiang, I can't accept their endless gifts with confidence. For me, the presence or absence of university does not affect my own growth.

But for me to accept calmly, they handed over their hard-earned hard-earned money to me, and then I spent every penny, which is indeed beyond my conscience. So I chose to give up, and chose the same fate as my father without hesitation.

My parents didn't try to persuade me too much about my choice. I think in their opinion, compared to my classmates who dropped out of primary school and entered the society, I already have enough capital to venture into the world. At least in the face of cruel fate, I have more confidence than them to fight.

Of course, my decision has also reduced their pressure to a certain extent, and they no longer have to worry about my annual tuition and living expenses. My mother even kept reminding me that I worked hard to save money. The family worked together to go back to her hometown as soon as possible to build a house and fulfill her and her parents' long-cherished wish for half a lifetime.

I understand this wish of theirs very well. Because almost every household in the village has already built a two-story building by going out to work, and some people have even built a three-story building. Only our thatched hut has fallen into disrepair and is in dilapidation and is in danger of collapsing at any time.

Living in it, I have always been worried, especially during the rainy season every year, when it rains heavily and it rains lightly at home. This has also become a piece of the parents' heart, which has been pressing on their hearts, and now because of my decision, they are undoubtedly one step closer to realizing this wish.

For those of us who have lived in our villages for generations, it is clear that returning to the countryside is an inescapable fate, especially for our parents' generation. The city is too far away for them, and although they have lived in the city for more than ten years, many habits carved into their bones have not changed a little.

They are used to walking when they go out, and the two-dollar bus is not as convenient for them as a half-hour walk; 365 days a year, you have to stick to cooking by yourself, because the fireworks in the kitchen are what life should be; On the way, you have to say hello to everyone you meet and greet them for a while, just like when you were in your hometown; When you cook food at home, you must give it to your neighbors, and it seems that sharing has long been a habit.

They can't understand, and they can't accept the life of eating takeout all day, living door to door for several years without knowing each other, and going out to be either a bus or a taxi. In this world of steel and concrete, they seem so out of place. They must carefully learn the rules of the world and follow rules that they have never heard of.

They are cramped and tired all the time in a little world that they think is safe, and they protect themselves in this way. The world's unfriendliness to them is obvious, but they have to work hard to please the world. Smile at the unkind people, the discordant voices.