"If Carl is completely gone now, what will happen next?"

"We turn to people we can rely on. I have more details about Westin and his sister. She didn't appear in the school records we got because they didn't have the same last name. ”

"Adopted?"

"Nope. It looks like the divorce is messy. The father was denied custody, and the mother did not want to have anything to do with him anymore. Changed her and her daughter's name and came here. ”

"But why not change Matt's name?"

"Do I look like a psychiatrist?"

"I thought you knew everything."

"Not as much as I thought."

My sister and I used to quarrel a lot. A lot. We'll fight over anything – whose turn is to watch TV, who's sitting in the front seat of the car, what we're going to have for dinner, etc. When we were very young, who could sit next to mom whenever we went out. Jane usually wins this contest, mainly because she is smaller and prefers to cry. As long as I can shut her up and stop embarrassing us in public, I'm willing to give in.

I'm not proud of it, but sometimes I wish she wasn't my sister and that it was just me and my mom at home. She's always in the way, even if it's accidental. Of course, that's not to say that she always does what she wants. Mom tried to be as fair as she could with both of us. I was a kid at the time; In my opinion, Jane always gets better treatment. This is not fair. I'm an older kid and I often help with household chores. I take better care of myself, clean up by myself and do housework every time without complaint. I deserve more, don't I?

One afternoon completely changed my mind. Jane is 10 years old, and I just turned 13 last week. We were in the mall, had just gotten off the bus, looked around the shops, and casually shopped. I didn't understand why Jane didn't go with her friends; It was only a few years later that I found out about her recycled clothes. My mom bribed me to see my sister and promised to take me to the movies that weekend. I just had to keep an eye on Jane for a few hours, making sure she wasn't getting lost or in trouble, and then I took the bus to take her home. I wasn't going to say no, so I led Jane from store to store, pacing impatiently from store to store, trying not to pay attention to the terrible radio in the mall, the music on the radio was badly chosen, and the advertisements and advertisements kept stopping the songs, which was even worse.

The mall has three floors and is full of escalators, making it easy to get lost. Jane was an expert, though, and she knew how to avoid the crowds and take those ordinary old stairs at the edge of the building. We stayed on the border, which also happened to be home to Jane's favorite shop.

And just like that, we made it to the third floor, visited another clothing store, and I finally noticed a bell. It's getting late. It wasn't time to leave yet, but when we came back I wanted to watch a show and I decided I couldn't miss it. If we had gone now, we would have been able to catch the earlier bus.

I started urging Jane to tell her it was time to go, urging her to hurry up. She walked slowly to the cash register and asked the salesperson question after question. Finally, as time passed, I walked in, handed the money to Jane, and almost took her hand and left.

The nearest escalator was crowded with people, so I hurried to the nearest staircase. Jane's shoes came loose at some point, but none of us noticed. I was busy dragging her towards the exit – any exit. I walked through the mall and was full of the shows I wanted to see. I don't even remember what it was, but I know I'm obsessed with it. Instead, there was another memory, one that haunted my mind forever.

I stopped near the staircase. I was distracted by an entertainer. Someone is performing magic tricks on the streets, and the sound is exaggerated. I wasn't very interested, but he kept me distracted long enough. Just for a second.

A moment of distraction, followed by a disgusting crackling and thud.

I jerked around. Jane stood on the landing of the staircase, which turned between the two floors. She lay on her side, her limbs spread out, but I could only see her arms twisted in a direction that shouldn't be twisted. I saw her expression, as if in slow motion, twisting painfully. Her eyes were furrowed and her mouth was wide open. Her entire face seemed to shrink.

I had jumped down the stairs and ran towards her, when another incident occurred and I stopped.

Jane stood up again.

She didn't say a word. There was hardly a sound. She just stood up and limped towards me. Jane was obviously in unbearable pain, but she didn't make a sound until she reached the stairs. She looked up at me, who was a few steps above her, her eyes blazing.

"Matt, my arm looks like it's broken." Her voice trembled and frightened, but she still didn't cry. Her words finally broke my trance. I immediately came to her. I asked her to sit down, and someone next to her dialed 911.

The rest of the story is very simple and straightforward. Jane was in the hospital for a while, my mom was called in, and in the end everything was fine. Honestly, in the bigger picture, it's really not that noticeable, other than the pressure that medical bills put on moms. I don't know if Jane ever thought about it.

For me, it completely changed the way I thought about my sister.

She didn't cry a single time during the whole process. There's a kind of courage in her that I don't think I'll ever find. I always thought of her as just someone to look after and a housekeeper to take care of until I came back into my life, but Jane was so much more than that. Even though Jane was so young, her body was clearly suffering immensely, and she was acting stronger than I had ever felt in my life. in my life.

Guilt lingered in my mind for a long, long time. I was the one who rushed at her, I missed her untied shoelaces and I was distracted at the last second. My mother tried to convince me, but without success. I was entrusted with protecting her, but I failed. My sister was injured and I should have been more careful. I swore to myself that I would never let this happen again. No matter what happens, I will be there for her.

As I watched Jane leave the house and bow her head like the legendary huntress, I felt guilty again. I feel like I've let her down for the third time. I hate to believe it, but I feel like Jen's soul is now engaged in a secret tug-of-war, with me on one side and Silavier on the other, pulling with all my might.

I was deeply moved by her words, though she probably didn't mean that. She inadvertently compared me to our father, someone she had never really met. I remember him, partly from my own memories, but mostly from my conversations with my mom. He never looked like a bad guy, but in his own way, he scared me more than any woman I've ever met. Cold, emotionless, controlling man My mother once described him as "a controlling, selfish, heartless bastard", though never to my face.

I don't think I'm like that – but what about the calculating and manipulating part? I can feel it sometimes. When Jane asked me to back off, I realized how I had inadvertently pushed her in a direction, a part of me lurking beneath the surface until Jane illuminated it. I started to cross the line, degrading her to someone who needed protection, forgetting who she was.

Jane was right. She can take care of herself. I'll let those years slip away again. My sister is already an adult, even though she doesn't look like an adult yet. I had to take a step back and let her make her own decisions. I am equal to her, not her protector.

However......

She needs my help. Not her?

I'm conflicted. I didn't know what I could do to help her. Try to forget about Cy completely

Could Aveil be better? Forcing her to go back to the real world and then convincing her not to talk about it again? After all, like I said, there is no evidence. In any case, we never disappeared. Our brains may tell us, but by real-world standards, we are completely normal.

I've tried to stick to this path, but so far it's not going well. Carl has been evading the police and his family, becoming increasingly unstable. As far as I can tell, Jane's emotions are broken, even though I definitely didn't know the whole thing from either of them. Obviously, something has to change.

Should I take another approach? Try to indulge our lives? I can bring it out and keep the memory alive. This does seem to have calmed Jane down in the midst of a crisis, bringing her some level of calm and balance. She can bask in happy memories, tell her story to Sara and me, and be kind to those she leaves. She would never forget, and the more painful memories might never get the end they really needed, but at least she could get through it.

Of course, she had already tried it with Sarah, but just an hour later, at their family dinner, she had a complete breakdown. At the same time, this practice can only bring bad luck to Karl. Every mention of Seravier, of the world he longed to return to, of the betrayals and sacrifices we made without consequences, only brought him more pain.

There was a third option that had been haunting the deepest part of my mind. Return. Jumping back, as if nothing had happened on the other side. Let us leave this world forever, disappear into thin air, and start our lives anew in Serraville.

When I first heard it, I immediately rejected it, and every time it came to my mind – but as our lives continued to descend into chaos on Earth, it kept circling in my mind as a last resort. It's a vent valve through which I can maintain a certain level of control.

"I'm back! There was a shout from the garage. I struggled to my feet; One of my legs fell asleep from the awkward angle I had fallen into. Long after Jane was gone, I was still sitting at the back door and missed the moment the garage door opened. I hurried out to help her get something, and I knew she would bring it home. Sure enough, when I walked by, she had two bags on her arms, and I grabbed the third bag she had put down to open the door.

"Oh, thank you, Matt. You're my favorite son, you know?"

"I'm glad I beat the competition."

Mom left the bag on the counter and messed up my hair. I instinctively dodged it, and she laughed. I never like people touching my hair, which of course means that she touches my hair whenever she gets the chance.

"How long will it be before you leave again?"

Her eyes sparkled. She smiled mockingly. "Oh, you want me to leave?" Need to live alone in this house?"

"I have a job too, Mom." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, that's not for pretty girls."

"Did she tell you?" I asked in surprise.

"So there's a girl?" Mom looked equally surprised. "Will she tell me?" Oh, it's getting juicier. She opened the fridge and began to put the milk away. Tell".

"No," I sighed. "Or, I'm not sure if there is. We went on a date, but it was a bit ...... was interrupted. ”

"She doesn't like your hair?" Mom reached for it.

I angrily pushed her away. "Nope. Just something else to talk about. Big things. I shrugged. I don't think you can really call it dating in the end. ”

"Since you say so," she replied absentmindedly. She rummaged through the cupboards, trying to find something to eat quickly before she had to go out again. I felt my voice struck her, as she suddenly stopped, turned around, and faced me very seriously. "Is something wrong?"

I don't want to lie to my mother unless it's absolutely necessary. I let my exhaustion manifest itself and all the stress built in my mind penetrated my face in a smooth wave. "I have to make a choice about something, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what's best."

She looked confused, but that didn't stop her. "What kind of choice?"

"Between two important people, I believe which one is right. Or neither. I do not know. I shrugged again. No matter what decision I made, there was no turning back. Didn't do it all over again. This is the final decision. ”

"Do I know these two people?"

“…… Yes. ”

Mom narrowed her eyes. "Is one of them Jenny?"

I almost corrected her name, but stopped myself in time. "Yes."

She shook her head, still confused. "Well, I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on, and your sister certainly wasn't right all the time, so I'm not going to tell you to be on her side. Remember, Jenny is your sister. No matter what you think, the two of you are going to stick together. So that she can protect you and you can protect her. Mom smiled at me. So, if she's right, be on her side; If she's wrong, make sure she doesn't get left behind. She understands your choice and is on her side no matter what happens. Family always comes first. ”

Once again, Mom's advice didn't do much. It didn't make my choice any easier, it just gave me a little comfort. Still, I appreciate your efforts.

"It doesn't help much, does it?" Mom echoed my thoughts and added casually. She turned and walked towards the cupboard. "I'm sorry. So, let me put it this way. No matter what you decide, I believe in you. I know you're thoughtful, you're always going to stick to your decisions, and I know you care about your sister. I'm sure you'll pick the right one. You're a good guy, Matt. ”

Suddenly, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I still don't necessarily agree with her, but I need it, just as a drowning man needs air. I want her comfort. I wanted to jot down everything she said because I felt like my mind was gently shifting to the other side. Without any warnings, without any publicity, I actually started thinking about a third option. Back to Serraville.

I pushed it away. I've had a real life here. Friends and family. I have a school, I have a job, and I really want to develop a relationship with Sarah, even if it doesn't go well when we start. I like peace and quiet, away from danger and madness. What drove me to go back?

My mother pointed this out. I always try to follow through on my decisions. However, as I myself told Sarah, I fled. From Serraville, from the choices I made there. What did I do when the war was won, when new alliances were formed, when they asked a leader to help them advance and maintain order in the new kingdom? I didn't work with them to build a new state and overturn those terrible laws that led to rebellion in the first place.

No, I ran away. I took an action that no one could have anticipated, an entrance to another world that none of them had heard of (or believed, if they were a handful of generals I trusted). I retreated to a place where no one could follow me.

I abandoned them, and to make matters worse, I dragged away two people who probably didn't want to follow me. I told Sarah that I forced Jane home, but it wasn't. Jane knew we had what it was to come back, but I didn't tell her it was entirely up to me – I could trigger it at any time. Jane and I discussed this, but we never made a decision.

I finally gave in, in the moment when I was finally truly overwhelmed. Blake is dead, Reinier is dead, and Carl is gone. People were literally standing at my door, shouting for leadership, and I didn't know what to do. Now that we've won, I don't know how to lead. I just wanted to run away - and then I remembered that I actually had that choice.

In my office, people knocked on the door begging for an interview, and I disappeared. I feel like I owe them an apology. Explain why I abandoned them when they needed it.

I forced my mind to return to the present. Those people are far away, out of reach. Now there's nothing I can do about it. Instead, I have a sister to protect and a friend to ......

What? Faced? Debate? Comfort?

I'm still not sure.

＊＊＊

Actually, I'm thankful that I had a job that night. I'm willing to do anything that takes me out of my mind, even if it means dealing with customers blindly. As long as I have something to do, I don't bother in my head. When I'm not helping customers, I talk to my colleagues about anything I can talk about, and no doubt it annoys him.

However, unfortunately, to my sanity, I am about to have the whole store. My night shift partner called in sick, so I was left alone to get through the slowest part of the shift until someone came to replace me. I tried to mentally prepare myself and rummaged through the magazine racks looking for anything that looked interesting, but nothing caught my attention. I was about to give up looking for something to do when the phone rang in our store.

Now, the phone in the store almost never rings, and it never means anything good. I picked up the microphone with a little trepidation – hearing a voice I had never expected, but at that moment, I was very happy to welcome it.

"Hi. Is it Matt?" It was a bit harsh because the phone in our store wasn't the best, but her voice was still perfectly audible, which greatly mitigated the endless humming of the machine and the beeping from the front door.

"Sarah?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes. Jane tell me where you work. ”

“…… Hello. How are you?"

"I'm fine, but that's not why I'm calling."

I took a deep breath. No matter what she says next, I know it won't end well. "What's going on?"

"This is Carl.

My heart sank. It's not going to end well. "What did he do?"

"That's the problem. I think he'll do something. Sara continued, her voice becoming quickened. He just called me. Talked about the police and Blake. He seemed scared. He refused to talk about anything special, and then somehow hung up. I don't think he's completely conscious, you know?"

I try to justify it, if it's just for myself. "Well, he doesn't know you know. That's probably why he doesn't talk much. ”

"You didn't tell him?" She asked, surprised.

"We haven't spoken in a while," I replied, a little awkwardly. "I don't know where he is."

"Matt, that's terrible, isn't it?" Jane didn't say much about him, but he's a big guy there, right?"

"Yes. He's a general, guess. Host. ”

"So he's already feeling out of power, and now he's lost his friends, he's out of control. He'll definitely find a way to get it back. ”

"I don't know what to do," I admitted. There's something about her that makes me want to be honest with her, or maybe I just want advice from someone who knows the situation because my mother hasn't been able to help much.

“… I don't know either," Sarah replied, much to my frustration. "But we can't let him wander the streets alone. He needs help. ”

The doorbell rang. I looked up and saw a ragged woman standing there, looking at me expectantly. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I have to go. I'll keep it in mind. ”

"Okay. Good luck. She added when I hung up.

The man just wanted a pack of cigarettes. When I checked his ID, the door rang again. It wasn't until that new voice spoke directly to me that I looked up.

"Matt, we need to talk." His tone gave me the creeps. It's a voice I haven't heard in a long time. Not Karl, but the voice of the Lord of Frankness, whom I never trusted for a second. This man betrayed Rainier Selman, which ultimately led to his death.

"Hi Carl," I said, trying to keep things calm. The customer's hands trembled and he struggled to get his wallet. I prayed for him to get out of here soon, before Karl could start talking—but as usual, fate and I were still at odds.

"I'm going to find a way back, and you're going to help," Carl said. There was no anger in his voice, only determination and confidence. Even so, I was worried. I couldn't get the situation under control. I went with the flow, danger lurking around every corner, waiting to strike.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said mildly. The customer finally pulled his wallet out of his pocket and began counting the change one by one.

"I found someone. Daniel Whitman. He knew about Serraville. He'll know how to get there. He even lives in town, Matt! We can go back. All of us. Carl sounded almost insane. He continued, his voice raised. I don't know what he's talking about. It doesn't seem logical. My thoughts didn't blend together properly.

"How can you be sure?"

"I knew he would, Matt. Believe me. ”

I'll never believe you, Carl. "It's kind of unbelievable."

"Okay, listen." He said impatiently. He turned to the customer, still counting the coins. "Hey, lost?"

"Wait a minute," the man muttered. Karl narrowed his eyes.

"Carl, it's okay." I interjected, but Carl was already close to him. He grabbed the man's hand and began throwing the money on the counter.

"Hey!"

"Shut up. Over here. Carl pushed the backpack to him. Let's go. ”

I jumped on the counter and landed behind Carl. I grabbed him by the arms and shoulders, twisted him around, and pinned him to the lottery glass display next to us. He was too surprised to react in time. "Carl, calm down."

"Matt, what the hell?" He struggled, but he was too weak to do anything to me on earth. I had no trouble holding him steady.

"Calm down. Get down. "I turn to the customer." Please forgive my friend. I'm sorry for that. ”

"Don't worry," the man muttered. He picked up his cigarette and change and hurried away. Once I was sure he was gone, I let Carl go.

He returned, but it was too obvious. The punch was too obvious. I easily dodged it. I took a step back and calmly waited for Carl's next move. He gasped, but he seemed to finally realize that attacking me wouldn't have any effect.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

“… Yes," he replied. Much calmer than I thought. I had the faint hope that he was actually under control.

"You want to talk?"

"Yes."

“…… So what?"

"Don't you want to go back?" Karl asked annoyedly.

"No," I said firmly—but if I'm honest, I've never been so wait-and-see as I am now.

"But—"

"It's a part of my life and it's over now. Carl, I'm trying to move forward. ”

"You're a general. A leader. A revolutionary. Carl said breathlessly. You've started a campaign. You overthrew an empire. You are important and powerful. They are willing to give you anything. Why don't you want to have it all?"

"Have you rehearsed?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Take it seriously, damn it," he snapped. "That's you, right?" You are a natural leader. Those speeches, man. You say you're just improvising, but you're motivating people. Die. "Eternal glory", isn't it? Even if they die in the struggle to break free from their chains, how will people remember them? You will fight for silence and what. ”

I shrugged. "I learned it from a song."

Karl paused. I saw him twitch slightly, and then a burst of laughter erupted from him. "Fucking lyrics. You're kidding. ”

"Nope." I shook my head. Sing straight out of the song. I haven't even changed much. ”

Carl laughed even harder. I smiled nervously. Maybe he's getting back to normal.

"Look, that's why you have to come back, Matt!" My hopes were soon dashed. "Help me find this person. We can all go back. You belong there, I belong there, Jane definitely belongs there. We'll all go back, everyone, and everything will be fine. ”

Karl is unstable, that's obvious. He didn't know what he was doing. He was completely outrageous. But at the same time, I also took into account his words.

Maybe we do belong there. I feel like I still have unfinished business. Between Carl's reminder and Jane's reminiscences, I was back to those moments before I decided to take us home. The people there are counting on me to find a solution and lead them through the crisis. I was crazy and thought things would work out on their own. We have just overthrown a dynastic government that had been passed down for generations; No matter how well we handle the transition, chaos is bound to follow. Our work there has only just begun.

Charge. Everyone says I'm responsible. I don't know to what extent I agree with them, but I can't deny that I have an obligation to these people. After asking so much from them, I owe it to them. Those speeches of mine, my vows. If I don't come back to fulfill my promises, I will betray the sacrificial spirit of my people.

Not just the people I want to lead, there is another, more personal sacrifice that I must respect. The agreement was made in the dead of night, in a command tent on the outskirts of the city, around a low-burning fire. This is a promise I made to a dear friend who was braver than any of us, who knew he was going to die, but who went forward without regrets. Blake loved the world and the people in it. He made me vow to make this place better, at all costs.

As my past words echoed in my head, I looked back coldly at Carl. Even though I felt like I might need to go back, I knew Carl shouldn't have to go back. Before we left, he was much better than he is now. Kinder, warmer, although a bit annoying. He has now become so cold and distant. I hesitated to admit it, but I felt that Serravel had created a monster in him—a monster that should never be awakened.

Carl couldn't go back with us. I saw with my own eyes that he betrayed a best friend, turned his back on him, and left him to die at the hands of a group of greedy revolutionaries. I'll never trust him again.

"Go home, Carl." I whispered.

His face sank. "Is this it? Is that all you have to say?" His voice was as calm as mine.

"Serravel doesn't exist," I said firmly, consciously repeating what we had said the night we returned.

Karl shook his head. "You're going to change your mind. At last. He turned and left the store, and I felt the room immediately brighten. I felt easier to breathe, as if Carl's presence had pressed against my lungs. This release seems to confirm my decision to keep him out. I leaned back against the counter, lost in thought once more.

Now I have two paths ahead of me. One of the paths was getting darker and darker, and I tried to go down, but I got lost. At my side, another path began, and the world that my sister and I thought I had sworn to leave loomed like ancient towering statues, silently judging my every move.

I felt my mind shifting, and with inner reluctance and fear, I stared at the second path.