"Look, what's the harm it can do?" What a mess this kid is. ”

"You see what he did to Whitman."

"He's desperate and if we can get him to talk, things will go much better. Anything we can record down. ”

"I'll call him—"

"Let him call his friend."

"Sir?"

"A friendly face might be good for him."

"It sounds like a broken record."

"And who's in charge?"

"Yes, sir. Come soon, sir. ”

"I see it."

Dear Mom,

Matt and I had to leave. We're not running away from home, so don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong. You are the best. But... Something happened, we had to go. We may never come back.

I wish I could tell you that it's not dangerous, but it could be. Trust me, okay? This is a very, very important thing. I want to tell you, but I

“Masasak

a

a volavus sel

a

a kele

dil。 I cursed under my breath. I want to comfort her, not let her fall into a blind panic.

"What's the matter? Sara asked, leaning on my shoulder. I tried to crumple the letter, but she held out a hand to stop me. "Oh my God, your handwriting is terrible."

In response, I flipped the paper over and wrote a long list of elegant etolin—something very rude, which I will not repeat here.

"I'll just take it as an insult." She frowned. "What do you want to write?"

"Goodbye." I said calmly.

Sara hesitated and looked back at the stairs. Mom hasn't come home yet, and it won't be back for at least a few hours. "Aren't you going to talk to her personally?"

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I don't know."

"Huh?"

I glanced at the clock, and we were already past midnight. But my mother was still not at home. The last time she ordered a drink was at half past two in the morning, and she had to stay a little longer until it closed. I used to stay up late waiting for her to come home, but I rarely managed to make it that late. The next morning, with the alarm clock ringing in my ears, or sometimes accompanied by the sunrise, I magically returned to my bed, cozy and comfortable. In the few times I had the chance to see her, she always hugged me warmly and then grounded me for staying up late.

"I don't think I'll ever see her again"

"Because of what Matt said?" She asked. "About us leaving right away?"

I shook my head. "I think we're going to get kicked out of here. That call was so weird. ”

Sara nodded, just as bewildered as I was. Matt received a phone call half an hour ago. They called his home, he answered the phone, and five minutes later he was in his truck. He promised to go home soon and let us start packing. I don't know why he said that. We can't take anything with us. Maybe it's just instinct.

I shuddered as the pieces clicked together in my mind, slowly unraveling the mystery one after the other. I don't think there's another reason why I'll never see my mom again, a reason I don't want to think about, and I don't dare say it out loud. But this is Sarah. I'll have to say something before I have time. "That's not all, though."

"Are you afraid to talk to her?"

“… Seka

a

A vack, have you always been so smart?" I asked skeptically.

"Jane, it's alright," she said, apparently trying to comfort her. I felt worse, as if I was running away from my own problems again.

"I feel like I'm going to run away," I repeated, in my own voice. "Maybe I'm just giving up too easily. I was afraid she would dissuade me not to go. Do you understand? Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it makes a lot of sense." Sara shuddered, too, which made me feel a lot better about myself, as she wasn't very happy with it either. "I feel the same way."

"What do you do?"

"I just ran out of the house," she added with a wince. "I'm going to disappear from this world just to get away from my problems. I still think it's the right idea, but I'll be worried until we cross the river. ”

"Well, that's not really a step-"

She coughed. "Not the point, Jane."

I glanced at her. She sat cross-legged on my bed, a stupid frilled bed topped with a mismatched dinosaur blanket, chosen more for warmth than because I liked the design. At least it's comfortable. What's more, Sarah's gaze is fierce and her expression is firm and determined.

"I'll never know if it's the right thing to do," she continued. All I know is that something has to change. I was given an opportunity that no one else had before, and I could share this opportunity with my best friend. It's not an adventure. I'm going to start over. For better or worse, I'm going to accept it. As she spoke, the confidence in her voice increased word by word. In the end, I was convinced.

"I'm glad you came with me," I said, her face beaming with joy as if the sun had suddenly shone into my room.

"You're going to have to teach me some Etoli

e," she added with a smile. "I can't wait to meet Neflin."

"You're going to get along well," I said, feeling much happier and more comfortable than before. "Oh, there's so much stuff I can't wait to show you. And my sunshine. It's so beautiful there. ”

When I began to elaborate, Sara just smiled. It's a really magical place, but I won't bother you with the details. To be honest, it's actually not that different from most other forests – although the trees are older and bigger, and we built houses on the upper levels below the canopy, magically illuminating the fields where the crops provide food when hunting is scarce. Well, it's very different, but it's not important more than seeing how my best friend reacts to it. She was so excited and optimistic that she recorded every detail, like a thirsty woman in the desert drinking water.

At the same time, I felt accepted. Unlike when I first told her all this, when our conversation was always on the verge of regret, loss, and pain, I could actually speak openly and honestly. Enthusiastic. I don't just tell her about memories and revolve around problems; Instead, I gave her visions of things to come. She can share new experiences. I gave her hope, and in return, I was filled with hope myself. Everything I remember makes this world a brighter place.

I'm sure we could have talked for hours, but the responsibility came back and beat me to the head. I've been telling her how we're in different su

The syls (carefully bred and magically trained flying squirrels, no joke) were writing to each other, and I suddenly remembered the crumpled note on the table behind me. I slowly turned around and picked it up.

“… Do you still want to write to her?" Sara asked.

"I have to," I said calmly. "She's my mom. I can't just disappear. Even if I say goodbye to her personally, she deserves more explanations. ”

"What are you going to say?"

I shook my head. "I still don't know."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, I can't help much."

"It's fine." I leaned over and pulled out a new piece of paper from the drawer, picked up a pen and wrote on it. Behind me, I heard Sara trying to stifle a yawn. I didn't know why—maybe it was exhaustion, or maybe it was just a ridiculously large yawn in my head that swallowed her face—but I giggled. I couldn't help it, and it quickly turned into a burst of laughter.

"What? She asked indignantly.

"Nothing," I said in a choked voice. I forced myself to calm down. "I'm sorry. You should take a nap. ”

"But I---"

"I promise I won't leave you behind." I said with a smirk. "Besides, maybe someone should get some sleep. Matt and I definitely won't. ”

"Okay." She yawned again, she said. "You don't mind if I use-"

"How many times have I slept in your bed?" I turned my head to look at it and raised my eyebrows exaggeratedly, as high as I could.

"Be fair." She grinned and pulled up the closest blanket to her. "Wake me up if something happens?"

"Duh".

After a few minutes, I heard her breathing settle and I knew she had fallen into a crazy dream. Sara slept deeply. No matter how loud it was, I couldn't wake her up with my voice. She only woke up when I shook the bed, or patted her face or something.

I took out my phone and turned on the music. As long as it allows me to focus. I picked up my pen again and tried to write. I hope there will be something more reassuring this time. Also, something mom can read.

Mom

You're probably wondering why we're acting so weirdly these days. I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to explain. We both wanted to, but we just couldn't. We are not in any danger and we are not breaking any laws. But we have to go now, and probably won't come back. I wish you could go with us, but that's not possible.

We're going to have to move out, right? Matt would go with me, so nothing to worry about. We'll be fine. You taught us to take care of ourselves, so we're ready. But we're going to a far away place, and we may not be able to talk anymore. But I swear, if there is a way, I will be the first to call you.

I have a lot to say and I wish I could say it to my face, but I don't know

Too much sentimentality. That doesn't feel like me. I crumpled it up and threw it in the bin next to my desk, along with the first one. The street lamp outside the window cast a faint amber hue on my curtains, and I saw the shadow of a bug skimming the curtains like a giant monster. I'd seen something like that before, at the pass leading to Old Dryanan - except that it was a small beetle, not a real monster. I tried to compare the idea to my current situation, but I got nothing. Not everything ends up forming a cool symbolic comparison.

I leaned back again, rubbing my eyes, and almost tumbled over in my chair. My sleep is still poor, although I have adapted little by little. As long as I don't need to do any super physical activity, I can handle it. Somehow, I'm sure that once I find my way home, back to my sun cabin, I'll be sleeping sounder than ever.

When it comes to sleeping peacefully, Sara sleeps soundly. Seeing her wrapped in my cheap dinosaur blanket, I smiled, completely calm. After a long day, I'm glad she got a good night's sleep – she felt safe and comfortable enough to let her guard down with me. It says more than any words about our friendship, for someone as insecure and uncertain as me? It means a lot to me.

The promises we made came back to me. I let the chair slam to the floor, and I leaned back and grabbed another piece of paper. As before, the same as agonizing for Sarah. Why can't I just say what I really want to say? Why do I feel like I have to lie? Mom should know. I will never come back. I'll tell her everything I know.

Thank you, Sarah.

Hey Mom,

Here's the thing. It sounds crazy, but I swear to you it's absolutely true. No jokes.

Matt and I went to another world. By magic. Moreover, magic is real. Interestingly, I use it as well. Pretty cool, right?

But seriously. It's not all fun and games. Someone was injured. People die. We've fought and we've almost died ourselves, many times. I'm telling you this because you should know what we've been through, and what we're going back to.

Yes, we went back. I'm sorry, but we have to. We were away for more than seven years, but because of the magical time, we came back exactly the same. It's just that...... We're not the same anymore. I don't even know who I am on Earth. Seven years is a long time. Especially when you're spending time with people who aren't exactly human.

I'm not sure if I'm really human. I might outlive you or anyone else, but I'm still a little scared. I mean, I'm not going to be alone, which also means I'll never have to worry about getting sick or anything like that, but it's still crazy and it's hard for me to accept. But I think it's pretty cool. I don't know. Still figuring it out.

You're probably thinking about what you're doing wrong. Maybe you're not, I don't know. I've never been a mom, and I'm not sure if I will. But you didn't do anything wrong. Believe me. You've raised us better than you think. Seriously, Matt was really great. You'll be proud of what he's accomplished. He saved thousands of lives. In fact, in the thousands. Now he's going back and making sure they survive. He's a good guy and a good brother. So it's an either/or choice, right?

Haha, yes, I know. Bad jokes.

Mom, Matt and I both think it's good for everyone. I hope you understand. Most importantly, you can't tell anyone where we went. At best, people will think you're crazy. What's the worst-case scenario? They're really going to believe you. Do you know what people do to get in touch with magic? Because I have. I've seen it with my own eyes, it can turn anyone into a monster. That's how I lost my friends.

I'm sorry to do that, but I'd like to ask you to do me a favor. Matt and I wouldn't go alone. Sarah went with us.

She asked me not to tell anyone why, and I promised no. Trust me, she'd better stay away from this world. Her disappearance wasn't as easy to hide as Matt and I did. It's hard, but you have to protect her as you protect us. Sarah really needs this.

It's stupid and scary and selfish, and I'm sorry. When I ran away without even saying goodbye, I begged you to do so. Well, I guess the letter is goodbye, but you know what I mean. I'm sorry, Mom.

I will miss you, and I will always remember you, even if I end up living to be nine hundred and seven years old. If I find a way to get back to you, you'll be the first person I'll contact. I promise.

I love you, mom.

I cried at the end of the letter, but I had decided that this was what I needed to write. I had to take a few breaks to make sure I spelled it correctly and to take pains to make sure the handwriting was good enough. If that's the last thing I can tell her, I don't want it to look bad. I've made up my mind that I can't face her. Maybe that's cowardice, but I know in my heart that I can't say goodbye to my face. Hate me if you want.

At the bottom of the letter, I signed two names. Once in Italian and once in English, I tried to get as close to the original pronunciation as possible.

Je

ife

velae

a

a

alaev seldemovi。

Jennifer from Silver Valley.

This is his full name, which has only been said twice; Once when I asked for Tatewalen's name, and the other when he said it at Valen Sildarry's adoption ceremony. The letter was written bluntly, awkwardly, and too long, but I cherish it very much. It's a part of me, just like everything else. It proves that I have found a place where I belong and someone who belongs to me.

I started rolling up the paper, and then I remembered that this time I didn't actually need to tie it to the squirrel's leg. I rummaged through my desk and found an envelope. I found some, but they were either too dazzling and full of glitter, or they were crumpled and messy. Unwise. I glanced at Sarah, who was still asleep, and grinned. She would laugh at me for this and insist that I find the perfect envelope for my runaway letter.

I took the letter downstairs and found an envelope - or something, really, I could seal it. I'm not that picky. I just need to know that it's safe and will be noticed, and she will read it in the morning. Long after we left.

How could Sarah still be sleeping right now? Even though I've not had as much trouble falling asleep lately, the anticipation in my stomach is overwhelming. Maybe it's because I'm the one who really needs to get us on the plane, but I can't stay still anyway. I felt like something big was about to happen, but I'm still not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing – I just know it can't be worse than being here.

Just as I was packing the letter into a plain white envelope with the words "Mom" scrawled on the front of the envelope, I heard my phone ring. To call the impression I get "decisive" is a very conservative statement. My phone rings at two in the morning at night? It had to be earth-shattering.

I picked it up. I don't recognize this number. Who's going to call me now? Do I often chat with friends late at night? I don't remember, but I doubt it. If there's anyone I can see I'm still talking after midnight, it's my best friend who sleeps upstairs in bed.

I turned on my phone and held it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Jane?" His voice trembled.

"Karl ?- - - - - -"

"I need your help."

＊＊＊

I shook Sara awake and explained to her as briefly as possible where I was going and how long it would take. She nodded sleepily at me, then fell back into bed. I left her a note on the table just in case, but I plan to come back before she wakes up.

I grabbed my bike, rushed into the night, pedaled as hard as I could, braving the rain and walking towards the police station. Karl's words still ringed in my ears. Are they going to take him away? Keep him in a psychiatric hospital or somewhere?

What's going on?

Is this where Matt goes to be? Maybe he's already there. Yes, definitely. Matt is there, trying to save Carl. I'll have to check it out, too. I support him, vouch for him or something. I don't know what I can do, but Carl's voice on the phone, I can't just stay home.

I was very unsteady on the bike at first, but it recovered quickly. There was absolutely no one on the street, and I booked my way at the intersection, completely ignoring the traffic lights. In the hazy rain, the street lights flashed above my head and I almost flew over the asphalt. I felt like I was going like a million miles an hour – but still not fast enough.

I didn't see a single car along the way. It was quiet outside, only a faint drizzle. Even the whole world seems to be expecting what will happen next. When I got there, I didn't know what to expect. Karl did not specify. He only asked me to come quickly before they took him away.

He was scared.

Hearing Karl-Karl admit in the midst of everyone that he was scared sent shivers down my spine, back, arms, and legs. Whatever part of me, pick it out, I'm terrified. Carl was too stubborn to never utter out loud fear, but I heard, even the hissing and crackling sounds coming from my own broken phone. He was really scared and desperate. I had no choice but to rush down.

Have you ever been to the police station at night? When the sun sets, they have a very strange feeling. I mean, I've never been there before, but I've watched a lot of TV shows and have a vague idea of what to expect. I don't believe cop movies are accurate, but I think there must be some truth in them, right?

Well, here's the thing: at night, you're now dealing with cops who really don't want to be bothered, even less than usual. Especially if they don't work regular shifts. Everything here seems hostile. I noticed this when I put my bike on the rack outside because a police officer came up to me and glared at me as if I had just kicked his dog or something. I tried to pretend to be innocent and unthreatening, and walked in the door.

Soon bumped into Matt.

This explains where he had gone. If he had rushed out to talk to Carl, he would probably have panicked as I had just walked by in a flash of lightning. Matt didn't look panicked at all, but he was.

Wait, what the hell am I thinking? If Matt is here and he's leaving, then why did Carl call me

Oh.

Oh my gosh, no.

"Jane?" He asked, his voice sounding very calm.

It's all wrong.

"Matt, why-"

He put a finger to his mouth and motioned for me to go to a small waiting area outside the station office. I saw several sets of discarded tables inside, and under the dim chandelier, only one bright room was shining through from the other end of the building. As my eyes adjusted, I saw the door gently open to an interrogation room without question.

I followed Matt into our little corner, under the lazy watch of the officer on duty at the front desk. After a while, he was back in the newspaper and not very interested, which gave us plenty of private space to talk. As soon as we sat down in the uncomfortable chair in the corner, Matt finally took his fingers out of his mouth.

I was so eager to break the silence. "What the hell is going on?" I whispered.

"I was about to ask you the same question," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you here?"

Carl called me. Come and help. ”

Matt shook his head. "He really shouldn't have done that."

"Why not, Matt?" I tried to keep my voice down. "He's our friend, isn't he?"

"Look where we are!" He hissed. "Carl went too far. He attacked someone. ”

What did Carl do again?" …… Who?"

"I don't know. Some people. Daniel Whitman. I don't know who he is. What about you?"

I shook my head. "I've never heard of him."

Apparently, Karl beat him half to death. The guy went to the hospital, and they said they were going to take Carl away. ”

"Prison?"

"Spiritual care".

I shuddered. The thought of being locked up in a white, padded cell popped into my mind. I know Carl hates this as much as I do.

"Listen, I know what it sounds like—" Matt began.

I shook my head to interrupt him. I don't need any more images in my head. I need to take action. "What should we do?"

Matt sighed, and I saw a look in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time. A burden that crushed his soul, lurking in his dark gaze, my brother once again carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He made a terrible decision right in front of my eyes, and he felt like he had no better choice but better or worse.

He's going to make the wrong choice. I knew his decision before he even said it. I already hated him because he hadn't spoken yet.

"Phew!" I growled. I almost got up, but his hand grabbed my shoulder. He forced me to sit down and listen quietly. I struggled for a moment before I realized that making a fuss wasn't helping Carl. I let him speak, even though my head was thumping and my blood was boiling.

"We can't help him, Jane. Anyway, Carl almost killed him, with his bare hands. He knows how to inflict maximum pain and harm. He's done it before, we've all seen it. We must deny everything. We don't even think of him as a friend, and we don't know there's such a thing. ”

"But—"

Matt's calm, confident voice overpowered my opportunity to speak. "They're going to take him away and maybe that's the best outcome. He's going to get some real help. He won't go to jail, he'll go to a nursing facility where they'll do their best to help him. ”

God, Matt, do you believe what you say? Is all this you are saying true? Or do you want to abandon Carl to save yourself?

Matt, did you abandon him to go back?

I felt my stomach churning. If I hadn't squeezed it out as aggressively as I've learned, I might have spit on his shirt. There's nothing left to make me vomit, but this? It's disgusting. Fearsome. It sucks.

I'm going to let him get away with it.

I see it coming. I let it happen. I heard Matt ask me to confirm, and I nodded. My face and hands were numb. I felt my mind shrinking itself, as if I had retreated from this world again. I know how it feels. I'm scared it's going to come back. It's a survival instinct, a way of escaping one's own actions.

Matt stood up and held out his hand. I took it, even though I didn't feel anything. My brother helped me so much, but he was as hard as ice. I followed him back to the hall and waited quietly for the door across from me to open.

I don't have to ask anymore. I understand why Matt chose to do this. I understand why I should support him.

I still hate every moment of it. Hate myself, hate him, hate everything.

Carl is a mess. His eyes were swollen red with tears, and his hands were wrapped in bandages and dripping with blood. I saw bruises on his face. He was handcuffed and pushed forward by a personal guard. Behind Carl, I saw two detectives who had come to our house, and when they saw me, one of them had a look on his face that recognized me.

To hell with it, Matt.

Carl walked through the room. The guard walked away, and Matt walked away, allowing Carl and I a little privacy. Amid the hum of the fans and the machines, I was relatively sure we wouldn't be eavesdropped, but I still didn't dare to take any risks.

"Hi, Jen." He muttered. I could barely hear what he was saying.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry to let you see me like this," he smiled at me.

"It could have been worse," I said. Is it appropriate to joke? How would I know? What do you say to a friend who may be the last time you see him, when you lie to him and are ready to throw him into the wolves while you run for your life?

"Jane, you have to tell them."

"Tell them what?"

"Everything. What we experienced. Who we are. That's the only way to explain everything I've done. ”

"Oh, Karl......" I whispered.

"I know. I have to go. But I'm not crazy. We're not crazy. You'll have to explain. ”

I shook my head, I knew it was a blow to his heart. His knees were bent and his eyes were wide open.

"Please, Jane. I can't be taken away. I'll never see you again. "Carl's voice was raised, and until then, our voices had been whispers.

"Carl, I'm sorry." My voice was on the verge of breaking, but I steadied myself. I had to hold back. I can't show any vulnerability. I have to be strong.

With a crack, I'll shatter to pieces.

"No, please. Don't say you're sorry. Tell them. ”

Oh stars. Please. If you can give me a blessing. Anything goes. This is the moment. Give me determination, give me courage, give me something.

The stars did not answer. They may never answer me again. I don't think they're very friendly to traitors.

I continued to be silent, and Carl's eyes widened. He raised his hands, still handcuffed and chained. I saw the blood on the bandage up close and deliberately flinched. I had to act scared, or nauseous, or do whatever I needed to do. I couldn't follow my instincts and try to comfort him, heal him. I couldn't get near him.

He took a step forward. The guards immediately came to him and pulled him back.

"Jane, please! Talk to them!" Carl blurted out. There are no more secrets of disguise. "Tell them about Serraville!" About the world! For God's sake, you are a jinn! Matt has taken over an empire! Explain! Matt?" Carl's head turned, looking for a new ally, because his closest friend had abandoned him without saying a word. I also looked and watched Matt's reaction.

“… Carl, none of this is true. I don't know what you're talking about. Matt's answer was so calm, so natural. I believe every word he says. Everyone in the room would have believed him. He looked like a concerned bystander.

Carl struggled to break free. The guards pulled him out of the room, and he began to shout for help, begging for anything that would save him.

Of course, that meant it was my turn. The world is in slow motion, and when you know something terrible is about to happen, you can see it from miles away, but there's nothing you can do about it.

I'm not helpless, though – because the terrible thing that's about to happen is me.

Carl stopped the guards from dragging him away. He stared into my eyes across the room. I felt my heart harden as hard as ice in my chest, preparing for the worst. My hands flew to my lips, as if I could stop him from the next one. It seems that anything can stop what happens next.

"Jane, you're here too. You know. The Silver Family, Jane. All. We've been together, Jane. You and me. I saved you, remember?" Carl was now babbling gibberish, trying to keep his composure.

I shook my head again. Tears wanted to flow out of my eyes, but I didn't let them flow. I refused to allow myself to cry. Strength, I told myself. I had to get through it. I stared straight at Carl, everything else in the world was still in place, and I opened my mouth.

"I'm sorry, Carl. I don't know what you're talking about. His face sank, and so did my heart. But I survived, right? Carl will be taken away, and I will be free again – because it will do me so much good. This night will be etched in my mind forever. I already know. I'll never forget what we've done.

Then I heard his voice coming from the other end of the room again, shouting in perfect rhythm, perfect pronunciation. It's as if he carried it specifically for me.

"My heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart."

My heart is broken. I was almost overwhelmed. Almost completely overcome. I had to contend with the surging emotions that devoured every sense of my body before I could barely utter four simple words.

These four words will ultimately condemn him.

"Carl, you need help."

His eyes, which had been filled with hope, love, and the promise of living together just a few moments ago, were now empty. There was a complete despair, a complete lack of feeling, and there was no one left in my heart. He collapsed in the arms of the guards and was slowly dragged back to the interrogation room. The two detectives looked at us curiously again, then followed him in, and the door slammed shut.

I felt Matt's hand land on my shoulder again. It's like he turned on the tap. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned to flee the building. With each step, I moved farther away from the man I had just sent him to nightmares, all to save myself.

The rain began to fall again, heavier than before, and I greeted it with joy. I fumbled my way back to the bike and started pedaling. Maybe it will wash away the guilt and pain that is now consuming me, but I doubt it. Of course, I'm cursed forever.

＊＊＊

When I got home, Matt and Sara were already waiting for me in the garage. Matt holds the envelope I put on the kitchen table. I stopped silently and carefully put the bike back on its original shelf. Sara looked at her with a wry face, but Matt wore a mask that she couldn't read. Was he always so distant and scary to me? Is this a new side of him, or is it the side I've always pretended not to exist?

I finished crying. I know there's nothing I can do anymore. Instead, I'm going to make a new choice—one that's just as important to our future.

Sara was the first to speak, cautious and hesitant. "Is everything alright?"

Of course, Matt didn't tell her. I didn't answer her right away. I turned to my brother and stared at him with all my determination. I had to know right away what kind of person he was. The person I'm going to bring back to my world is actually hiding beneath the surface.

"Matt, did we do everything we could for him?"

Matt opened his mouth to answer, and I raised my hand. I know what he's going to say, but I can't let him say it. I already know what the answer is, and it makes me feel very sick. But I've made my choice. If I confront him, if I disown him because of what he did tonight, our lives will fall apart completely. There is only one way to go, and that is to stand together. I need him, and he needs me. If we're going to go back to Serraville, there's no way we're going to survive unless we're on the same side again – no matter how disgusting it is.

Without saying a word, I stepped forward and took Sarah's hand. I led her around the other side of the truck and got into it, deliberately keeping myself in the way of Matt and my best friend. When she came in, I closed the door. I watched as Matt carefully placed the letters on the garage door, tucked them into the doorknob, and turned off the lights one by one.

He got into the car, turned the key, and reversed the car into the driveway. The garage door closed in front of us, shutting my old house one last time.

My fingers gripped Sarah's tightly, my eyes fixed on the road ahead. As we exited the first exit, I turned around and looked back at the back of the cabin, looking up at the barely visible stars through the gaps in the rain clouds, and I prayed.

Maybe I'm destined to regret it for the rest of my life. Maybe I should have told Carl long before I spoke to Matt. Maybe I shouldn't have volunteered to go to war. Maybe I shouldn't have left my cozy little place in the trees. Maybe I shouldn't have begged Matt to take me to see Blake's discovery that night.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. My life is always full of possibilities. I hate it. I've had enough. I'm leaving this damn planet.

I returned to my own world, where I would carry this knowledge and guilt with me for the rest of my long life. There, I may no longer be able to fully trust my brother, even if I live side by side with him in the years to come, with a smile on my face and a laugh on my lips, pretending that we are a team.

You probably hate me a little, right? Or you are compassionate. Damn it. I don't deserve it. Leave it to Sarah, or Carl, or anyone else. I'm just one of a big group of people with nervous breakdowns, but I'm putting myself here. It's something I did to myself. I'll have to find a way to get out on my own.

As we drove off the main road, the car lights flashed and the sign for Siravel Park flashed in front of us. I felt my hand squeeze as well, and finally, I gave myself a little hope. I still have Sarah, and myself.

There's still some magic in the world that will be finished if I don't use it.

It's time to go home.