Chapter Thirty-Eight: Crashing into Your True Self
Along the way, I kept asking Yaoyao how far we were from the top of the mountain.
Yaoyao, who was already tired and collapsed, was still calming my anxious emotions and telling me that it was not far away. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find the top of the mountain in my sight, and I couldn't fill the feeling of powerlessness in my heart.
Although Yaoyao was panting like a cow, her fighting spirit did not decline in the slightest, she was full of energy, and she didn't look like she wanted to back down. Her stubbornness once made me feel devastated, but there was nothing I could do about her.
Finally, after she told you for the seventh time that I was almost there, she finally saw the top of the mountain behind a boulder.
The hanging heart fell, and then looked back at Yaoyao, the bangs that had been soaked in sweat were sticking to her forehead one by one. His face was pale, his hands were folded on his waist, and he was smiling at me proudly.
I could only shake my head helplessly, and I couldn't express myself anymore.
When she was catching her breath, I reached out to her, and she didn't hesitate to take my hand and launch a final charge towards the top of the mountain.
Standing on the top of the mountain and looking down, the field of vision is even wider, and you can already vaguely see the horizon in the distance.
The factories lined up on both sides of the road now look even more impressive, the cars that weave along the winding roads now look like ants, and the pedestrians on the road are no longer recognizable.
The wide line of sight also brings a huge space to the heart, and a stirring emotion spreads out little by little in the bottom of the heart.
Looking at the land at the foot of the mountain, imagine the products coming out of the workshop being loaded into containers and shipped to every corner of this world. And as the manufacturer of this product, I am naturally full of pride in my heart.
Who would have thought that the small fishing village 30 years ago is now standing proudly at the forefront of the world economy. In the past 30 years, she has deeply integrated herself into the main artery of the world economy and embedded herself in the rolling forward history.
And we in it are really feeling her rapid changes, and experiencing every bit of her progress and growth.
Yaoyao beside her seemed to be feeling this shock and agitation, looking into the distance, her eyes moving slowly, as if she was looking for something.
Finally, after inspecting the city under the mountain, she slowly spoke: "I didn't expect that I haven't come up for a few months, and there have been such big changes. ”
After speaking, he seriously introduced to me, the last time I came here, it was still a wasteland, and now a factory has been built.
What used to be a shack has been demolished and in ruins, and there is no doubt that in a few months there will be high-rise buildings built there.
And that road, which had just started construction when I was last here, is now full of traffic.
Yes, this is probably the speed of Shenzhen, the speed of China. Despite our best running, we have always been left far behind by her, and she is renewing herself at a speed visible to the naked eye. Of course, in the invisible places, there are also great changes.
The products in the workshop have changed from the once shaped rubber, clothes, shoes and hats to computers, mobile phones, cars and ships. The workers have also changed from the former post-60s and post-70s to our post-80s, and even younger post-90s.
It is the generation after generation, going forward and succeeding, that there is the current prosperity and the rapid change of the present. Being able to experience all this and witness all this with my own eyes will inevitably make my heart inevitably boil with blood and passion.
After this short rest, Yaoyao's complexion has improved a lot, and her face, which was so pale and bloodless just now, is already flushed at this time. The heaving chest had regained its calm, and his rapid breathing had begun to be steady and long.
Seeing that she has recovered, I think that her stubbornness along the way has finally been paid for at this time, and my worries have not been made up in the slightest.
I couldn't help but feel resentful in my heart, so I said: "Your physical fitness needs to be improved, seeing that you were tired just now, I thought you couldn't climb up." ”
Hearing me mention this, Yaoyao slowly turned her head to look at me, and then smiled. Embarrassed: "It was an accident, I used to climb to the top of the mountain in one breath when I came here." Today's physical condition is not very good, that's why I'm so tired, next time I will do it again, so that you can see how powerful this girl is. ”
After saying that, she curled her arms and showed me her "muscles". Looking at her naughty appearance, she has completely lost the depression on the way up the mountain just now, and it seems that she has completely recovered.
Hearing her mention that she was not in good health, it dawned on me that she had just gone through a special period of time.
Thinking of this, I secretly scolded myself in my heart, why didn't I think of this matter in the first place.
It seems that I am indeed very dull in terms of emotions, and on the other hand, it just shows my selfishness.
I only think about my little Jiujiu in my heart, and I don't care enough for the people around me, and sometimes I almost don't even care.
I don't dare to blame anyone for this emotional dullness, so I can only secretly poke and probe angry with myself.
And secretly swore in his heart that in the future, he must empathize more, care more about the people around him, and make his thick nerves a little more delicate.
Yaoyao saw me staring at her distractedly, reached out and touched her face, and then asked me, "Why are you staring at me, is there something on my face?" ”
I was just about to say no, but then I thought, isn't this the time to express myself?
He nodded earnestly, and then continued to look at her with a sincere face.
Looking at my performance, Yaoyao was obviously a little anxious, so she quickly took down the small bag behind her, took out a small mirror from it, and carefully observed the mirror on her head.
She looked at it carefully for a long time, but she didn't notice what I said on her face, so she asked me puzzled: "Where is there, why didn't I see it?" ”
There was obviously a hint of anxiety in his tone, it seems that all girls are the same, especially beautiful girls like Yaoyao, who are especially concerned about their image.
My heart was already happy, but there was no expression on my face, and I continued to stare at her seriously.
When she looked at me like this, her heart seemed to become uncertain again, and she picked up the mirror again, and looked up and down seriously. Naturally, she still had nothing to gain, and she was even more anxious.
Said angrily: "Where is something, why didn't I see it, what is it, you clean it up for me." ”
I saw that the time was ripe, so I shook my head lightly and said, "I can't get rid of it, you can't see it because you have turned a blind eye to it." ”
After listening to my words, her expression became solemn, and the small mirror was picked up again, and her face was tightly pressed in front of the mirror, checking it carefully little by little.
There was still a voice in his mouth: "There's nothing here, the acne has disappeared, can you still see this?" Is it this spot, can you see it even a little bit? It can't be this scar, it's already so faint, I can't even find where it is. ”
Listening to her muttering, the pleasure of the prank in my heart gradually disappeared, and I felt as if I had gone a little too far.
stopped teasing her, and said, "The beauty on your face is so obvious, can't you see it?" ”
After listening to my words, she first shook her head, and then waved the small mirror in her hand as if I had patted it.
I quickly jumped away, then stared at her with a wicked smile on my face, and continued: "I'm telling the truth, I was attracted by your beauty just now, so I kept staring at you." I kindly remind you that you still beat me, it's really a world that is declining, and people's hearts are ancient. ”
Seeing that I continued to tease her, she made another gesture to fight, and I hurriedly dodged. In this way, I hid in front and she chased behind, one in front and one behind, and kept shuttling back and forth between the boulders on the top of the mountain.
After a bit of chase, she showed her tiredness, and I stopped running away. Stand still.
She didn't pay attention to why I stopped suddenly, and came up and crackled at me with an old fist. I was beaten again and again, and when she saw me surrender and ask for mercy, she stopped what she was doing.
Before she looked at me, she raised her small fist and threatened: "If you dare to laugh at me again, let you taste the power of my punching bag-sized fist." Hum! ”
Naturally, I didn't dare to taste the power of her "sandbag" big fist, so I continued to forgive: "I was wrong, I will never dare to say that you are beautiful in the future, I will tell you that you are not beautiful in the future, this is always okay." ”
Before the words fell, the raindrop-like fist fell on my body again, and I, who was ravaged by her, looked at her aggrievedly and said: "What do you want me to do, it's not okay to say it's beautiful, it's not okay to say it's not beautiful, it's too difficult to be a man." ”
She was about to refute it, but as if she had found me digging a hole for her to jump, she looked at her angrily and said, "You are not allowed to say anything in the future, I don't allow it, you just shut your mouth." It's true that a dog can't spit out ivory in his mouth, you boys, there are no good people. ”
Yes, it seems that this time I really offended this aunt and grandmother, and she began to curse people, who had always been gentle and elegant, and also pulled my innocent male compatriots in by the way. Looking at her blow, I was obviously angry with me.
I quickly confessed and apologized: "Okay, okay, I won't tease you." I was wrong, and from now on, I will only look after you, and your word will be my holy will. If you point to the east, I will not go west, and if you call me to touch the dog, I will never steal the chicken. ”
Generally loyal to the table, my dog-legged image has jumped on the paper.
I have even thought that if I go back to the Anti-Japanese War period a few decades ago, replace Yaoyao with an invader, and comb a small middle, I am afraid that the name of "dog sweat rape" will not be able to escape.
When I was still immersed in my YY, Yaoyao had already turned around and walked to the other side.
In the direction she left, a huge stone came into my eyes, and many people on the stone were posing for the camera below.
Yaoyao walked briskly over to the rocks and motioned for me to come over, while she took out a small Canon camera from her backpack and handed it to me.
It was my first time using a camera, and after asking how to use it, I put my eyes in front of the frame.
Yaoyao's posture appeared in the frame, and Yaoyao stood on top of the boulder at this time, smiling like a flower in the sun.
I pressed the shutter button with my index finger decisively, trying to keep her good now.
When Yaoyao with a happy smile appeared on the camera's display, I hurriedly showed the photos I had taken to Yaoyao.
Looking at myself under my lens, Yaoyao was visibly stunned, and then the smile on her face bloomed little by little.
She seemed very pleased with the beauty of her moment.
With this successful start, the rest was much easier, and she kept jumping up and down on various rocks.
All I had to do was press the shutter casually after she was posed, and with the blessing of this "model", there were almost no requirements for my photography skills.
With a casual shot, a sunny, cheerful, youthful and beautiful "Yaoyao" appeared in the camera.
Finally, when the camera issued a low battery warning, Yaoyao put it back in the backpack behind her back.
Then he sat down on the floor, then pulled out a variety of snacks and two bottles of mineral water from his backpack and handed me one of them.
Looking at the snacks all over the floor, my heart beat suddenly faster, and she dragged her body that had not yet recovered, carrying so many things on her back to climb to the top of the mountain.
And I never thought to help her share the weight. My face was hot, and an emotion called self-reproach crept into my heart.
I don't know how many times I've realized my own sluggishness and selfishness, and I didn't even think of such an obvious thing until now.
And her exhausted appearance along the way resurfaced in my mind again, and my heart trembled at this time, and I didn't know how to express my feelings at this time.
And Yaoyao, who was sitting on the stone, saw that I was still standing in place, so she said: "Why are you standing, sit down and eat something, aren't you tired after climbing the mountain for so long?" ”
I had to sit next to her, and then smiled, the muscles on my face stiffened, and I knew how ugly my smile was at this time.
Obviously, Yaoyao also found out about my situation and asked me, "Why are you smiling so strangely?" ”
I was extremely embarrassed on the spot, and I really didn't know how to take her words.
I think with her character, if I showed that I should take care of her as a boy, she might explode on the spot again.
But looking at the pile of snacks on the floor, it was hard for me not to say something, and I knew it was too late to say anything.
However, if I don't say anything, I can't calm my heart.
The pain of being condemned by my own moral conscience tugged at my nerves and made it difficult for me to breathe.
I carefully organized the language in my mind, trying to keep every word from the meaning of taking care of her, but it was clear that it was all in vain.
The underlying guiding ideology is that I should take care of her, so no matter how much I try to whitewash my language, I can't get out of this framework.
My heart was so entangled that my intestines were about to twist together, and I swallowed the words that had come to my mouth back into my stomach again and again, and re-broke them up and reorganized.
is more serious than when I wrote a love letter to a girl for the first time, I want to make my conscience feel good, but I don't want to cause Yaoyao's rebellious psychology.
After struggling for a long time, I turned my heart sideways and said, "You carry so many things, why don't you tell me and let me carry them for you?" ”
As soon as the words came out, I almost slapped myself in the face, and I had the heart to make up words for a long time, but as soon as I came out, it turned into accusations.
It seems that instinct is really scary, and I subconsciously evade my responsibility.
Yaoyao replied disappreciatively: "It's not heavy, why do you want to carry it." ”
I breathed a sigh of relief, it seemed that she didn't care about the reproach in my words, and she didn't find the little Jiujiu in my heart.
But when I thought of her hardships along the way, my relieved heart was lifted again.
Obviously, my words did not dispel the self-blame in my heart, and even embarrassed myself even more because of this sentence, and it was more difficult to face my true self.