Doubts - Chapter 9
"I'm going to kill that man, wolf sca
。 I'm going to kill him. Andrekles lay sideways on a thin pile of straw and whispered into the pre-dawn darkness. Tears burned a hot mark on his nose and cheeks.
"Now? A small voice shot straight into his ear. The fairy sat cross-legged on Anclus's temple and gently stroked a strand of Anclus's hair with her hand, trying to comfort him. Oddly enough, it worked.
The fairy managed to hide his light completely, which was the only reason why the slaves in the room didn't all watch awakely, and Anders appreciated the darkness. He barely slept last night, his mind full of images of his poor little flower being smashed by food and worse, and she cried out for help, but Anchors couldn't do anything about it. Not yet.
"Maybe." Anklex stared at the back of the old man in front of him, who was less than an arm's length. Lack of sleep proved to be the second worst thing to do as a slave. Worst of all, of course, he couldn't kill a whole bunch of barbarians without losing any of his children.
"Don't you have to wait?" The fairy asked.
"I don't know how much longer I'll be able to watch, wolf sca
。 I almost lost it. Twice. All it takes is a small mistake and it can be done. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. ”。
"It's alright, Daddy. Everybody's going to be fine. "Wolf sca
Say, the sound is a bit like Ga
bi。 He leaned over and patted Anchors on the temple. Although it was a childish gesture made by a small creature, it made Androx's eyes burn again with heartache.
The fairy slipped into A
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Okles in his beard, snuggled up in it to keep warm. To Andlox's shame even more, Wolf Scar had been naked for almost three weeks, and he had to fly through the cold winter without any warmth. There was simply no way to find the time, materials, or tools to make him a suitable little coat and trousers, or even a tunics. Every piece of cloth that a slave touches is responsible.
"Uh-oh." Wolf sca
sighed. "Shh......h
The old slave in front of Anchors twitched uneasily, probably temporarily out of sleep. Wolf sca
Always known. Together, they waited in near-perfect darkness, not saying a word, not moving a word, until it was safe to speak again.
Soon after the man stopped walking, the fairy said, "Well, I'm still looking for Pepper so you can escape, but I can't find him anywhere." I went to all the towns. But there are too many places to look for because he might be in there, and I won't look at that house. I may have missed him. I'll keep looking. "Wolf sca
It sounds melancholy, like an old man complaining about the stairs.
"Focus your attention on the borders of their land, the farthest the king can control."
"You've already said it. I've seen it there before. "Wolf sca
Say.
What didn't come out between them was one of the many worries that kept Andlocks up at night: Pepper was taken away during a raid. Less than a week ago, Anjex was cleaning and oiling the prince's leather pants when he suddenly heard a sentry report that a demon had attacked him. He couldn't hear the details clearly, for the man spoke in a low voice, right in front of the prince's ear, but he could clearly hear "At least twelve children have been taken by demons." ”
However, it may have worked in his favor, as the sentry later looked directly at him, probably trying to gauge his reaction. Not only that, A
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Okles wasn't sure if he believed the demons could work together for a long time to steal the child in a raid, or if anyone could stop them if they tried. But one thing is for sure: if it's true and Pepper was really captured, then Andlocks had two children, not three. The thought made him sick.
"How are Agunn and Gabi doing?"
"Gabi is very good, and so is Mom. No one does anything bad to them except for housework. Ga
Bi has to do a lot of household chores like washing clothes and dishes, even though it's winter. They asked her to do needlework, but she could do needlework by the stove, so I could let her do it. No one would do anything bad to them because Mom made everyone afraid of the curse she had done. Mom wouldn't say what it was, and neither would Gabi. Gabi giggled and said that it had something to do with the man's stick. But I don't really know what the curse is. "Wolf sca
Say.
"The curse is...... A kind of magic. "In the name of Lafus, your first child will be stillborn!" Things like that. Most of the time, they're not real. However, you will encounter such situations occasionally, so it's best to avoid them altogether. But it sounds like her. Hearing such a threat may also make many wives nervous. Androx said, deliberately not grinning. He never worried too much about Agunn and Gabi, but every time the wolf sca
When he came over to say that they were good, he felt much better.
"What do you think her spell is for?" The fairy asked, a little shyly. He wasn't expecting an answer. Andrx could tell.
Anyway A
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Okles bought him one too. "From what I know about her, I'm guessing she threatened to make them limp for the rest of their lives, or something like that."
"Their rods are weak?"
"That's my guess."
"Can she do it?"
"How do I know?" Androx said.
Wolf Scar thought for a moment, then said, "I think she could, otherwise they wouldn't have been scared by her spell." They'll know. ”
"There's nothing that surprises me about that woman, little one, except that the people around her get bored. I really miss her. It's true. After all this, Flauer will need her, poor child. Her priestess magic is needed to heal his heart. ”
Wolf sca
Lost in thought again. It was a little longer than the usual pauses in conversation, and Anchors swallowed hard and took a deep breath to prepare for what he suddenly wanted to say.
"Wolf sca
…… I don't know what to say, but if it weren't for you......" He waited until he was sure that his voice was steady. The darkness covered the tears that dripped from his burning eyes. "You are my only hope right now. I know I haven't had them for long, but I don't want to lose them. Not one. Keep looking until you find Pepper. Please. ”
Wolf Scar said, "Okay." There was nothing else, and Anjex thought the conversation was over.
Androx knew he was about to lose his courage. It seems that every waking hour is spent worrying or shame. He started to get nervous. Nervous. He held his head high and tried not to get angry, but the shame of failure, and utter defeat, turned his anger into pain and remorse.
Wolf sca
Soon fell asleep. This little creature always spreads its wings when it sleeps, in case it is in a hurry to leave. With each exhale, its wings twitched, gently flapping Androx's neck. Da Da... Da Da... Da Da...
Androclus tries to steal the sleep he gets, but all he can snatch from Abraxia Dreamer is crumbs. One way or another, he lay there and let his body rest, if not his mind. He even stayed where he was when the other slaves got up one by one to perform their duties. Only when the sun undeniably rises from the sky and even illuminates the inside of the closed tent, A
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Okles decided it was time to get up.
He gently poked the wolf scar to wake him up, and the fairy crawled out of Anchors' beard, stretched, and kissed him on the cheek as his children had used to. Wolf sca
Flapping his familiar wings, he flew into the early morning sky to continue his search.
The morning seems to be a little warmer than yesterday; Crisp and bright. However, this may simply be because of the sun. Cloudy days lasted for at least ten days. As he stretched out his limbs in front of the tent, his breath drifted away from his head like smoke. When he felt that he was flexible enough to go to work, he put on his thin clothes to keep out the cold and began his work.
Not knowing what unpleasant task the prince had prepared for the afternoon, Andandrocles began his work as usual: collecting manure with his bare hands in the king's stables. The stables are kept warm in the winter, but that means what Andrx has to pick up is still soft. Once done, he distributes fresh straw and pulls water into the trough.
The completion of task after task is usually accompanied by a tiring humiliation that lasts forever. He was basically left alone, unsupervised for half a day. He saw it as a sign that the prince understood how inflexible Androx was when it came to causing trouble.
This morning, however, instead of cursing the piece, he cursed Altfer for causing pain to Flor the night before. Of course, all this is to scare Andror; Prince Altfer said it bluntly beforehand. You will find that you are not capable of protecting him. That would lower your status, he said. You're going to crash eventually. Someone more noble than you.
They even dressed up Flower as a dancing girl. It's like hetai
a's favorite student. Dancing is a noble pursuit; Each boy learns to dance for the parade. Young people often make their first lifelong friends in dance troupes that attend banquets. But dress like a girl and dance a woman's dance? Simply letting him dance naked, like the Spring Festival to the goddess Raffylia, or the Twilight Feast to Abraxia, is far less humiliating. Voluntary nudity is a sign of sophistication and masculinity, both of which Flower lacks. But dressed like a prostitute...... At least Flower doesn't seem to quite understand.
An unpleasant emotion welled up in his heart - anger, frustration, sadness, shame...... At one point, he thought he knew what it was like to be desperate: his father's suicide. No, no, he learned. This is not entirely true. He used to think it was watching your dearest friend bleed to death in your arms. But no, he still has a lot to learn about despair. Despair, he had thought, is that your honor has been stolen by an unfaithful wife. He was wrong every time.
Despair is when your child suffers and you are unable to intervene.
Flower was watched day and night, and Andox couldn't get near him or they would kill him. Wolf sca
Said that when they locked him in the tent, someone was always awake, so he didn't dare to go. Anchors certainly couldn't stop by to see him - even the mere hint of contact between them was enough to make the boy cut down instantly. No, if Androx wants to keep his son out of the dust, he has to act as if he doesn't exist. Altfer has said this many times.
A
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The obedience of the okles was obtained under great threat. If he had raised his fist against even the humblest of slaves, Flower would have been killed in pain. If that doesn't win him over obedience, Agunn is next, then Pepper, then Gabi. Their dismembered bodies will be returned to him "in several separate bags" as evidence. Altfair would not hesitate to give the order. Andlos was convinced of this.
What scares him the most is that he can't use his murderous intent after taking the flower back, as there is a high chance that it will kill the boy. This meant not fighting beforehand, lest the person who killed the prince hear about it and not fight afterwards. Androcles had no intention of killing, and there was no hope of dealing with a dozen militants on horseback, let alone a hundred.
In a way, A
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Okles knew he had to abandon his family and go back to chasing Della. His oath is above all else. God willing, the time to make a choice never came.
At noon, the chief saw him carrying water to the barracks. "Stains. Follow me. You'll need to move some wood. Then the man turned and began to walk, hoping that he would follow. A
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Okles didn't jump up immediately, he stood on his heels and deliberately sneered. "I'll tell me, Smagge!"
Androcs glared at him arrogantly; A dog may fight for his own bed and win, but he is still a dog, and the bed is still a dog's bed. The "chief slave" indeed.
The man spat and said, "Go on." I won't beat you. I will starve your wife's illegitimate son. He doesn't need to eat every day, does he?"
"I don't pose a threat to your position, you fool. It's time for you to realize this. Trying to make his voice sound cooperative failed, Andlox said.
"He looked a little skinny last night, didn't he?" Maybe he should eat more of the food they threw at him. "He doesn't seem to be hungry today, though. Maybe you should fast for another day. What do you think?"
Androcles clenched his fingers into fists, his heart filled with despair, and he feigned anger. There was nothing he could do, and the other knew it. The man began to walk again, with Andrx following behind.
For the rest of the day, A
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Okles lifted the trunks and moved them to the fence to improve the walls. The leading slave stayed nearby, directing him with contemptuous orders. He couldn't decide whether the man was doing so at Altfer's beheed, or out of his own character, or both. Both seem likely.
The other slaves seem to have been ordered to avoid talking to Androx, or perhaps were too scared to come into contact with him. However, according to what he overheard, the lead slave was once a member of the barbarian royal family. The Alienokees are similar to Skywalkers, using severed heads as trophies, which makes Androx wonder why they didn't take his head if this man was really that important? A
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Of course Okles wants to do that.
Finally, night falls, and with it comes the opportunity for an unfed dinner and a new taunt with Altfer and his minions. When the last rays of the sun vanished behind the low western hills, Andlocles threw the basket of clothes he was carrying in the middle of the street, and then turned and walked towards the aft deckhouse of Altfell. "Drop everything down at sunset and come to me." It was an order he had received, and Androcle would never disobey it.
When Andlocks entered the wooden aft deckhouse, a warm atmosphere enveloped him. The smell of roast chicken and stir-fry mixed with the stench of blankets that hadn't been washed in a long time. The prince lies naked on a pile of furs in front of the fireplace, flanked by his two naked wives. Anchors felt her face flush from the sight. What monster brazenly shows his wife? The prince knew he would come. Anders did his best to adjust his appearance while waiting for the night's fall.
"Ah, Smagky, it's just in time. Bring us water. We are already dehydrated. The prince commanded, his voice carefully controlled as usual. His wives giggled as Androcleus grabbed a jar and headed for the well.
Every night, there is a new humiliation. Messed up last night's flowers. The night before, he had asked Androx to sing. The night before, he had Andrew pick out all the food from the vomit of a drunken guest. The gods knew what the prince wanted Androcles to do with it, but he backed down when two of his guests complained that they would lose their own dinner at the sight of the scene.
The night before that, the prince asked him to roll the dice for the finger of the flower, and then as an ace
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He laughed it off when Okles lost his finger. That night, Androx barely restrained himself and did not kill the man, while the ghouls of La Foss suffered the consequences.
Although he tried to drown it with anger, he could not deny that his fear of Alzfell was growing by the day. Something about him was slowly slipping away. He can look inside himself and see that this is happening, but he is powerless to change it. All he could do was imagine countless ways to kill the prince over and over again, trying to delay the matter. This helps, but only a little.
When he returned, Altfel's wives had already wrapped themselves up, though the prince had not. He lay where he was, bathing with his friends like a young man. Even though the man's face was as illegible as stone, as always, Androx thought he was just trying to see how he would react.
"It's water, master." Ancreth said politely, handing him the kettle. Altfell took the kettle in a bit of a hurry, seemed a little annoyed, and drank it in large gulps. Then he gave it to his wives.
"We're talking about you, Smart." The prince sat up as he spoke, and stilted his legs.
Andlocks didn't say anything. Sarcasm did not win him the affection of his master.
"My wife didn't give birth to my baby. Why do you think this is? Altfell asked, his voice as stern as stone.
Andrakes waited a moment before speaking, making sure that the prince really wanted an answer, and then said, "If I knew the answer to this question, the situation would be very different."
One of the wives asked, "That's why your wife left her bed open for Skybolt's caravan?" Can't you get her pregnant?" Although she is a beauty, with waist-length brown hair and long, attractive eyelashes, her voice is too deep for her to be unpleasant.
The other wife, a white-haired, flat-haired, well-toothed, freckled woman, giggled happily. Even Altfair barely managed to squeeze out a blank smile.
The prince said, "You know, it could be me." I may be infertile. I could be a mule. ”
The freckled wife half-heartedly spanked Arthur Fell in frustration. He just waved her away, and said, "What do you think, Smaggee?" Maybe you'd like to have a big, strong boy for one of my wives?"
A
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Okles kept his mouth shut in case his gun fell. Of all the cursed things, adultery? Even the wife of a poor man, without a figure, can be ignored. These were noble ladies, and if they were discovered, he was likely to be put to death, even with savage women. At least three gods – Arcos, Erasteria, and Raffylia – forbade it, and there was also a king's son and heir? They will be informed. It won't end well.
"Hah! Seeing his hesitation, Arsar shouted lifelessly. "Do you think he knows what's going on?" If not, that explains why he's cuckolded. ”
"Master, it's ......" Anders began, but stopped again. He couldn't find the right words. He gritted his teeth; Going on would only make the new weapon that the prince used against him sharper.
"What is this, Smaggee?" You know you're nothing more than a cow to me right now, right? You have no value other than what I give. ”
Androx didn't speak.
The prince taunted him further. "After all this time, you must be tempted to find a woman. Don't you feel the passion of nature?"
After a pause, Androx wittily replied, "None of my master's women will be."
However, he did feel a natural passion. Too much for him to say. He hasn't had a woman since Della last early spring. Most of the barbarian towns he met were too poor to have prostitutes, and Agna refused to risk having an illegitimate child so as not to anger the caretakers of the orphanage. Any glorious doctor would have told him that waiting too long could cause him permanent damage. It's unnatural.
"Do as your master says, Smart. Why should you resist?" The Duke said. There was a hint of annoyance in his voice, which was unusual. Could it be that his iron-fisted mask has finally slipped off?
"The end of the adultery of the nobility is the pain of everyone, beginning with the seducer. It brought the wrath of the sworn fathers of Arcos. Ancreth said, trying to make herself sound less aggressive. He had to tread carefully. "Many kingdoms perished because of it."
"Who? Is that your god? Brown-haired wife asked.
"I guess you call him Camus."
"Camilles doesn't care about that." Altfair said as he ran his finger to the freckled man's thigh.
Anchors felt himself awakened, fear haunting him. Here, everything can be destroyed, a much-needed moment of release of obedience, inviting the wrath of the king of the gods to fall upon him. His oath to his father would turn into a curse, and he would die a painful death, just as Cosmas was killed by his illegitimate son.
Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. Will he run away and leave his family at the mercy of his fate? Or did he dare to stay and take risks? No, if he runs, he doubts how far he can go. You can't do it without preparation. They have horses, and he doesn't know where to go.
"The gods are above, the gods are below, and I believe that the Smark is genuinely unwilling to have sex with you. Do you think he's a sissy? I heard that the soldiers of Rafaylian were very fond of each other. Altfil groaned as he watched as Androcles prepared to pounce on his prey like an eagle.
Androxes looked away, not knowing how to respond.
"No, I can't believe it," said the brunette wife. "Someone like him, lying under someone else?" Never. ”
The three men watched Androus carefully, as if looking at him with all sorts of unflattering eyes. Finally, Altfer said: "I think, Smach, I will order you to do this." You will give me two sons, one for each wife. But not tonight. Your heart still refuses to give in to me. Tomorrow at the same time, you will come and watch with my two wives and Xiaohua. He doesn't hate you. ”
It took him a moment to fully understand the meaning of the words, but when he understood the meaning of the words, he could no longer control himself, and he rushed out of the prince's house to escape the fear that made his whole body feel empty. Altfer and his wives laughed behind him, cruel and vicious.
Anchors' mind was spinning so wildly that he didn't notice the icy road and slipped. The back of his head slammed down. He was almost unconscious. His eyesight deteriorated and he came back to pieces with severe nausea. He closed his eyes and hissed in pain, hoping that what little was left in his stomach wouldn't be lost.
The gods are above, and it is so stupid for him to flee before he has eaten enough. He took a deep breath, deliberately calming his stomach, and then lay down for a while more until he felt like he could stand firmly. Fall and cold seeped into his body and soaked his bones. This is something that one cannot bear. He was hesitating. He lost his courage.
He stood up, dusted his hair, and looked up at the sky. The moon has not yet risen, and half of the stars are hiding behind the clouds, but even then, something about them seems to be more distant than usual. A slave passed by him, but he ignored the man. Oh my God, oh my God, what's wrong with you, Little Bear? He thought to himself. The idea caught his attention. Little bear? Where is he......
That's what his mother called him. He forgot. He wasn't sure if he remembered her face, but he heard her voice clearly, as if she were standing right next to him. Crushing his skull must have made his memory disappear.
Indecision kept him in place. He put his fist on his ass and frowned, hoping that this thoughtful attitude would give him special insight. But it didn't work, and after some time he gave up and started walking again. Be careful this time.
He walked to the tent and saw that his two companions had gone to bed, but he chose not to join them. Instead, he continued walking, leaving the path and into the rough bushes that grew inside the wall. If he lets the snow accumulate, his cloth shoes will freeze, but he can deal with that later. It's a place where he can think privately, and that's all that matters.
Gods, what the hell is wrong with him? Little bear. Androcleus was a man of plans, a man who was both cautious and courageous. And he had nothing. At first he wanted to plot an escape, but every idea had some irreparable flaws. Steal a horse and run away without flowers? Steal two and run away with him? Kill the king and his son, as well as as many of his men, and then leave in a chariot, hoping that no one cares? Save Agnon first, or let her take care of herself and help the wolf sca
Found Pepper? Every plan he came up with sounded stupid.
He stood in the cold, the biting night wind stealing his enthusiasm, then fear, then everything else, and clearing his mind for the first time in years. He could never find a perfect plan. There are too many unknowns. He can't wait for perfection. All he could do, he slowly accepted, was all he could do.
Tonight, he's going to run away. with flowers. They would go on foot, about an hour away, and stay in a peasant's hut. People with wives and children. He was going to take them hostage in exchange for the man's silence, perhaps for a week. Enough for the king's men to give up riding around and come back to make other plans. Then he would steal a horse, go to Agunn and Gabi, and head north. If Wolf Scar finds Pepper before that, they'll turn around and grab him. Otherwise, Androcles would have thought he was dead and had been captured by the demons of the king's borders.
It's crazy, incomplete, and unlikely to work, but it has to do it.
First, find Flower and get him out quietly. He retreated from the hidden corners of the snow and walked onto the icy path. He walked quietly and confidently, hoping not to attract attention, towards the place where he suspected they had kept the child in - the only place where he had never delivered anything to anyone. The house of the king's adopted daughters.
Something in the snow caught his attention, and he glanced toward the side of the road, and saw a mouse, a large mouse, shivering, stumbling through the cold, trying to get back into some warm hole. Before he could react, he jumped forward and grabbed it firmly with one hand. It was too cold to react in time.
With it in hand, he walked towards the woodcutter's yard. He found a suitable log, large and flat, knelt down and pressed the mouse against it. He picked up the axe in his other hand and said loudly, "Passos Orphan Caretaker!" Palthos, Palthos! Look here, orphan caretaker! I offer a sacrifice in your name. After a moment of silence, apart from the mouse's complaints, he cut off the mouse's head and squeezed its blood on the makeshift altar. He said, "I'm sorry, it's just a mouse, but I need to get out of here." Please give your blessings. You've helped me before. I'm going to run away tonight. You say I belong to you, and so does my little family. If I fail, we all die, I swear. Take me to find the flowers, then my woman, and Pepper. Then give me back the money that Della and I have, and let me go home. If you do, I will exalt you above the other gods and give you a bull at every festival. I swear. ”
He wrote his name in the blood of Patos and then raised his hands in prayer. Just as he was about to stand up, he felt a small hand on his arm, and a strand of smooth hair brushing his shoulder. A child whispered in his ear, "Wait."
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Okles turned away in surprise, not even seeing anyone, not even footprints in the snow. He was alone. His heart pounded, and his eyes were fixed on the darkness, hoping to catch even a flickering shadow, but nothing happened.
He walked towards the tent and went to bed.