(a)

I walked through the ravine with my bags on my back, hoping to get home one day.

More than a year ago, the barbarians from the west broke through the city and attacked, and I was separated from my husband and children, and I was left in the countryside, running and climbing, and I didn't want to die in the wilderness.

My surname is Liu, my name is Hongfen, the second in the family, in the past, in the countryside, the villagers called me Liu Erniang.

Today, I saw a few rugged-looking men in the remote ravines, and I knew at a glance that they were mountain bandits, and it was too late to turn back and run, and the men surrounded me, staring straight at me.

I shuddered, "Big brother, it's okay!" Okay, good! Leave me alone! ”

He cried again: "Good man...... Hero! I'm penniless! There are no rations, and no one is having a good time in this world! How many of you want to ...... Don't ......"

The three of them blocked me closer and closer, and the man at the head had a scar on his rough and dark face, and grabbed my hand with a cruel smile: "No money? Brothers don't want your money! ”

I was so frightened that I couldn't shake off his hand, and only listened to the person next to him: "Big brother! This girl is fleeing through our mountains and valleys at a glance! ”

"Meat to the mouth!" Another patted his bulging belly and laughed, "Take it back!" Take it back! It's been a long time since I've tasted a little girl! ”

I was caught by him, and I went to hit the big man in the arm, and when he saw that I was resisting, he punched me in the abdomen, and I hadn't eaten for a few days, and when the fist landed on my body, I suddenly collapsed to the ground, curled up and couldn't move. Seeing this, the big man carried me on his shoulders and walked towards the muddy and potholed road with broad steps.

“…… Help me! I cried out with all my might: "Help...... Killed...... Help me! Killed! ”

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is it called! ”

A person behind me slapped me, and the smell of blood suddenly appeared in his mouth, "Tell Lao Tzu to do you on the spot!" ”

My eyes were black, and I almost passed out.

Vaguely, I saw someone walking in the distance, not tall, with a thin body, like a woman, I opened my mouth and couldn't speak clearly, and I didn't know whether to call for help or let her run.

"Yo! What kind of luck today, one touch and two! The big man I was carrying spat out a mouthful of thick phlegm and spit it on the side of the road, "Hey! It's still a little girl, but it's better than this half-grown woman! With that, he threw me to the ground.

My starving body was about to be broken, and I just kept my eyes open and looked at the man not far away.

The three big men surrounded me with broad steps, as if they had blocked me on the side of the road at the beginning.

The woman seemed to be about to go around them and continue walking, but was caught by one of them: "Hey girl! Can't you hear my eldest brother talking to you? What to pretend to be deaf and what to be dumb! The woman was just stunned for a moment, and then continued to walk forward slowly, step by step.

I couldn't see the woman's face, I just thought her movements were a little stiff and weird. Seeing that the attention of the three men was being drawn away, I braced myself up and tried to get up and run away, but my legs were as useless as if they were useless, and I could only crawl little by little in the opposite direction of the mud.

"Hey! How not to speak! You're so dumb?! The big man at the head dragged down the coarse cloth that the man had draped over his head, and what was blocked was a miserable white face, and his eyes were empty.

"Holy shit! Eldest brother! This little girl looks really good! A big man beside him exclaimed, "Look at her like this, I'm afraid she's not a fool who has fallen into trouble!" I don't say anything, I don't squeak! ”

"Girl, what a pitiful! Look at your little white face, so dirty. The big man laughed out a mouthful of rotten teeth and grabbed the woman's hands, "Brothers, I will take good care of you!" ”

The woman was dragged by them for two steps, but she still didn't make a sound, and after a while she seemed to notice something, and broke away from the big man's hand. "This chick!" Dahan didn't expect her to have that kind of strength, and sneered, "It's better to carry it back!" "Anyway, he punched her as hard as he hit me.

The woman was punched, shook twice, and did not fall.

When Dahan punched her again, she was followed and let out an exclamation, "Lao Tzu can't stop you?!" ”

"Big brother! Look at me! A man picked up a stick from the side of the road and struck the woman in the back of the head. After a muffled thud, the woman fell to the ground, and all I could see was crimson blood flowing from her hair onto the dirt road.

"Don't beat anyone to death!"

"What is it to kill someone these days? Save us a bite to eat. ”

"Hahaha!"

Frightened, I quickened my movements and wanted to go, even if I tried my best, it was only a distance they could catch up with in three or two steps.

"Not dead! Not dead! It's still alive! The big man stood in front of her head with a wooden stick, pointing to the head in the pool of blood and said excitedly.

"Carry it and take it back!" The big man pointed to the half-dead woman, then to his little brother, made a gesture of carrying it on his shoulder, and then walked towards me. "Boom!" He gave me a kick and pulled me up, "Run?" Do you still want to run? ”

His eyes were full of cruelty: "I think you want to die!" ”

I was so scared that I wanted to die, and I just wanted to live, and I was delirious and repeated: "...... Don't run away...... Don't run away...... I'm not running anymore......"

The big man sneered, but there was a piercing scream behind him, and when I looked back, I saw the woman who had fallen standing up, holding a wooden stick in her hand, and the big man who had been standing had already fallen down, and a fat-headed and round-headed human pig stood there trembling: "Big brother! She! She! She's on her feet! Ghost! It's a ghost! ”

The big man who dragged me was stunned, "Ghost! What the heck! There are no ghosts in this world! ”

He shook me off and strode over, making eye contact with the bloodied woman, and I saw his trembling legs, and I felt amused for no reason.

Without saying a word, the big man punched him, and was picked up by the woman, and then a stick struck him on the side of the neck, and wiped it off his neck as quickly as a sword, I couldn't understand her movements, I just thought that she should not have a wooden stick in her hand, but a sword, a sword that could kill all wicked people like them.

The big man was stabbed in the abdomen with a stick, and when the woman took the stick, I could see the blood on the head of the stick: she really stabbed the broken wooden stick into the body!

As the big man fell, she walked slowly and leisurely towards the fat man, the fat man turned around and wanted to run away with snot and tears, but the woman chased after him as soon as she swooped around, and a wooden stick was stuck straight into his skull.

I saw that my whole body was stiff, my stomach was tumbling and I wanted to vomit, and I turned my back and vomited in one gulp, because I hadn't eaten anything, and all I vomited was sour water that burned my throat.

Is it a demon asking for his life? Or will the gods come to save me? I watched the woman covered in mud approach me little by little, and I couldn't stop shivering.

She was three paces away from me, and she fell straight and straight, and her brain-stained stick rolled forward, stopping when it rolled in front of me.

It's red, white, fishy, and sweet.

When I closed my eyes and vomited, my life was about to vomit.

(b)

I lay on the ground for a long time before I could barely get up, and dragged the woman away with me half-on my back.

dragged her until dark, when she found the dilapidated house in the valley. Leaving her where she was, I limped and knocked on the door, but it rotted after a few knocks, and the dust came from the surface, and I couldn't stop coughing, and looked into the room as I coughed: it was utterly messy, the tables and chairs were broken and fell to the ground, and there were many fallen roof tiles on the ground, and every place was gray, cobwebs, and small noises, presumably pests.

Most of the owners of the house have already fled.

Looking at this house, I couldn't help but feel sad again, thinking of my own home, which is probably like this now.

I endured the pain and simply cleaned up the corner where the roof tiles were finished, and dragged the woman in.

She saved me, and if it weren't for her, I would have died at the hands of the mountain bandits.

Placing her in the corner, I tore off a rag from my waist and went to bandage the wound on her head. The woman's hair was a mess, light brown in color, and it should have been very long, but it had been twisted into a mass of dirt, and the hair that covered her face in front of her forehead was brushed away, and there was a scarlet mark on her brow, like a newly opened tear.

I don't know why, so I wrapped the wound and tied it.

“…… If my daughter were still alive...... In a few years, I'll be so old......" Looking at her pale face, I couldn't help but mutter. Xu I made a sound when I spoke, she moved, and she opened her eyes!

I was startled, and quickly moved back for a while, looking at her warily.

She opened her eyes, first rubbed her head, then looked up at me, her mouth open, as if to speak, but after a long time no sound came out, and then she sat motionless, like a stake.

I was stupefied and reached out and shook it in front of her eyes, "You...... Can't speak? ”

She stared at me blankly, her eyes empty, as if she had no soul.

"Are you human? You won't ...... It's really a ghost, right? I gasped and trembled to get away from her.

She shuddered, leaned over to me, and a muffled but audible voice came out of her mouth: "Ghost...... Fear. "The voice seems to have been locked for a long time, and it is very hoarse, but it is not difficult to hear at all.

I froze in place: Afraid? She said she was afraid?

She kept her head down for a long time, and when she looked up again, there was a hint of light in her eyes, as if she was awake.

I understood that she was afraid that she was separated from her family in the war like me, and she was stimulated by something to become this stupid and stupid crazy look.

Thinking of this, I can't help but feel sympathy for her, and also for myself.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

She shook her head and didn't speak.

I said, "My surname is Liu, and everyone used to call me Liu Erniang." I just listened to you, you can speak, right? ”

She called me Erniang, and then stopped talking, I looked through the night light, she covered her face, grabbed her hair, and shrugged her shoulders. I didn't know what was wrong with her, I thought she was crazy, I just patted her on the shoulder, she turned over and struggled, let out a painful whimper, I had never seen such a scene, I had to retreat to the other corner of the house, and watched her sick there, my heart was scared and confused, and I couldn't sleep all night.

(c)

She was indeed a mad girl.

After two days with her, she was sometimes crazy and sometimes sober. At the onset of the disease, a whole person was in a trance, as if he had lost his soul, but when he was awake, he could say one or two complete sentences.

I dug up some wild vegetables outside this broken house to satisfy my hunger, and the grass here was much better than the previous mountains, and I was not lightly wounded, and I could not travel day and night as before.

I'm going home, and I want to go back even if I die.

When the fighting is over, my husband and children may have returned home to wait for me.

I think that even if I die on the road, my head will be in the direction of my homeland.

Pressing the wild herbs in my arms, I returned to the dilapidated house. All the valuable things that can be used in this dilapidated house have been taken away, there are only a few pots and pans left, and the only one or two bowls left are enough to cook wild vegetables, I entered the house and saw Lu Wu's girl squatting in the corner - she said her name was Lu Wu.

She seemed to be holding something in her arms, and when I walked into the house she happily lifted it up to me, a rabbit, a half-disemboweled.

"Erniang...... Meat ......"

I was surprised and delighted, and when I looked up at her, I saw blood and rabbit fur on my face, and my legs weakened in fright: "You! You! ”

She was startled by me, as if she had come to her senses, the joy on her face suddenly disappeared, and she suddenly fell to her knees as if she were in a state of extreme collapse, wiping her face and retching.

“…… I'm sorry......" she cried, my stomach churning, and I grabbed her and said, "What do you say sorry if you have meat to eat!" "The bottom of my heart is still hairy, and the fear has not diminished by half.

No one wants to stay with a madman all the time.

If she hadn't saved me, and my hands and feet were still neat, I might have sneaked away a long time ago!

I'm scared again, I'm afraid of being entangled, she obviously has martial arts, I'm afraid of ending up like that mountain coward.

Just a few days later, Lu Wu's illness seems to be much better than the day I first met her, and the time of the soulless state gradually became shorter throughout the day, and she looked almost no different from a normal person, but I never forgot her crazy state.

I told her why I was adrift, my hometown, my home, I just had to go home, I just had to go home.

She just listened and nodded, unable to answer. But once I opened the chatterbox, I couldn't hold it back, I suffered too much, and finally someone could listen to me. I took her hand again and said it over and over again, about my daughter who had a short life, about my son, about my husband who had been separated from me by accident, about my upheaval and displacement.

I cried and said a lot, maybe I'm the crazy one.

She just called me Erniang in my sigh after sigh.

I asked her why she had ended up here.

She grabbed her scalp and thought about it for a long time, the light in her eyes disappeared little by little, she became ill again, she screamed and leaned on the ground and cried out in pain, saying that she hurt in her body, in her bones, saying that she wanted to die, and screaming over and over again.

I was numb to seeing her, and no longer comforted her, but just watched indifferently from the sidelines until she slowly came to her senses.

I sometimes feel like she's dead, but she's still alive.

Lu Wu called me Erniang, but I didn't answer, she shouted again.

"Erniang, I'm ......," she said, "I didn't ...... just now"

I nodded.

"Erniang, can you go and help me inquire about someone? ……”

Lu Wu actually mentioned it to me, she had never taken the initiative to say anything to me in the past.

"Inquiring about what?" I asked her.

She asked me to help her inquire about someone, someone whose name was hard to remember. I asked why? She didn't say the reason, she just said to herself that she could stop the bandits and ruffians by staying by my side, I thought that what she said was not unreasonable, stop the fight and scatter the horses, the world is in chaos, I don't want to die in this troubled world, I want to go back.

I grinded a tile and took her to the water to wash it. Her hair could no longer be combed, so I told her to crouch by the water and wash herself, while I stood behind her and cut off the knotted hair with the sharp side of the tile.

Clumps of hair fell to the ground, and the blood scabs and mud in between them also fell, but I was a little dazed.

Isn't it obvious why she ended up here?

Like me, exactly the same source of all my suffering.

It's war.

It was the war brought about by Kun Zhai's invasion.

(iv)

We walked forward mountain after mountain, and finally we saw people and towns.

It didn't take long to walk in the town before he was scolded to the side of the road: "Stinky Hanako!" Go aside! Phew! Bad luck! ”

I pulled Lu Wu to the side of the road, and said that we might as well stop going into town for the night and find a shelter outside.

Lu Wumumu nodded, but said that he wanted to sell the animal skins she caught along the way for money. When I heard the promise, she told me to sell it, and she said yes, and stood on the side of the road and waited for me.

Lu Wu's skills are really good, he can catch the prey with his bare hands, and the fur of the mountain hare and wild sheep caught every time is very bright, and it is absolutely sought-after to sell it for money.

Three rabbit skins, one sheepskin, I exchanged three times for five hundred yuan, and when I went back to find Lu Wu, I gave her the same money, and I sold so much.

Lu Wu looked at it and said that Erniang just kept it.

I was stunned, stuffed her fifty wen, and lied to her that I had helped her inquire about the news today, but no one knew the person she wanted to inquire about.

Lu Wu shook his head and said no, there would be no one who didn't know who he was.

I was dumbfounded, could it be that he was a very famous person. After thinking about it, the person I wanted to inquire about was surnamed Sheng, it was not the famous Protector Immortal Sect, what a lofty figure it was, how could it be that a madman like Lu Wu could recognize.

I said, I'll go and inquire for you when we go some way back.

She nodded.

In the early morning of the second day, I went to the market early with the money, my hair was meticulously combed, and the corners of my clothes were neatly tucked.

I went to the stall and drank a bowl of porridge comfortably, and then began to help Lu Wu inquire about people. How could this hillside town be so easy to get news, I thought to myself as I spoke to the people on the side of the road.

Sure enough, after inquiring several people in succession, they waved their hands and said that they didn't know, they hadn't heard of it, but fortunately they didn't make my words yesterday a disguise.

"Ask what the man does?" It seems that he has finally met someone who has heard of it, the middle-aged man scratched the back of his head, "I remember, four or five years ago, he was a famous big clan figure at the end of the Ershan Pass, and I have seen him, I heard that last year, Luo Yao's natural disaster came to the world, and after he came over, he ran away from the pass overnight, and then I have never heard of this person again." ”

"Why?" I asked.

"I know what's going on! The gods who fight, scared people to death! Later, the pass was lost! Xirong broke through the barrier and entered, and the blood flowed like a river! The man frowned, and exclaimed, "Why do you ask a woman about such a thing?" ”

Can't a woman's house ask? I was angry in my heart, but my steps turned backwards.

Immortal Monk...... I thought to myself, Lu Wu was afraid that he didn't go to find this famous cultivator to make a living. Thinking so, he snorted.

A few days later, Lu Wu and I came to the vicinity of the city.

It is said that this city has been breached during the war, and the traces of swords, guns and blades can still be seen after more than a year. Lu Wu, who was insane, was naturally not suitable for entering the city, so she waited for me to buy something to bring back in a ruined temple on the outskirts of the city.

I bought some dry food, and secretly added a few clothes for myself, and helped her find out the news.

"Have you ever heard of a person named Sheng Xuan, what is the meaning of the word?"

I thought I was going to hear the familiar "I haven't heard of" reply, but I didn't want the tailoring lady to hide her face and sigh: "What do you ask this person for?" ”

Before I could reply, she continued, and the words struck me like five thunderbolts.

"Really?"

"There can still be fakes!"

I walked out of the clothes shop in a distraction, and I only said in my heart that it was over, can I tell Lu Wu about this? I'm afraid she's going to be even crazier!

No, if I didn't tell her, she would have questioned me over and over again and tortured me.

I counted the copper plates in my hand and began to walk towards the ruined temple.

(5)

"Lu Wu."

I went back to the ruined temple, and she was sitting cross-legged on a broken mat, as if she was doing something, watching the ruined temple that fell into harmony with the roof tiles.

"Erniang." Lu Wu heard my voice and looked back, her voice was crisp, like a fruit, when she called me Erniang like this, it would remind me of my daughter, and when I thought that I deceived Lu Wu and used Lu Wu, it would make me feel guilty.

"Lu Wu. I am back. Look, pear. I took out two yellow pears from my bosom and handed them to her. Lu Wu smiled and took a pear: "Erniang is so interested today." ”

She speaks naturally and is in normal spirits.

I smiled slightly wryly and sat side by side with her at the door of the broken temple to eat pears.

"Lu Wu." I said, "I've heard from that man." ”

Lu Wuyi was stunned, and hurriedly turned his head to look at me, his eyes were eager, waiting for my next sentence.

"Or ...... I'm still ......" under her gaze, I was a little timid and unbearable, bowed my head to eat pears, and couldn't taste a little sweetness.

"You say, Erniang, say it quickly!" Lu Wu took my arm and urged.

I took a long breath: "He's ......"

"It's dead." The second half of the sentence was pressed in my throat and spit out lowly, and I didn't dare to look at Lu Wu's eyes again, only to see the pear rolling from her hand to her lap, and then to the ground.

"No...... No way? ......" she smiled.

Lu Wu's body shook twice, shook his head in denial, and said, "It's impossible... Impossible......"

I closed my eyes and simply said the whole thing: "It's true!" I inquired, and there was more than one household. He died in just over a year, almost two years from now! The obituary has been posted! No one said it was false. ”

Lu Wu just said that it was impossible and would not be, and when I looked at it, I saw that her eyes were crying and her mouth was laughing, which was scary and distressing. She wanted to stand up, her legs weakened, and she lay on the ground, I wanted to help her, but she silently withdrew her hand.

Lu Wu did not commit madness.

This was told to her, and Lu Wu actually didn't go crazy.

I thought that she had seen it openly, saw it through, and would slowly get better in the future and slowly turn back on the right track, but it was a big mistake not to think about it.

The next morning, when Lu Wu saw me wake up, the first thing he said was to ask me if I could help her find out the news as soon as possible.

It's the same urging as usual.

I froze, thinking that my mind was confused, and that I had a bizarre dream last night. He opened his mouth and said that it was okay, and when he came out of the broken temple and saw the pears on the ground, he realized that something was wrong.

My heart sank, thinking back to yesterday, I clearly told Lu Wu all the words, she already knew, why did she come to ask me?

Lu Wushe ...... Is it madness again?

Seeing that I was standing at the door of the broken temple and didn't move, Lu Wu came out and asked me what I was doing, I looked her up and down, and asked if I remembered what I said to her at the door yesterday.

Lu Wu asked rhetorically, did you say anything? Looking down and seeing the pear on the ground froze, she shook her head, I went to touch her, she reacted very quickly and pushed me away and ran towards the ruined temple.

I went to see her in the temple, and she was curled up in a corner covered with cobwebs and dust, laughing silently, her fingers clasping against the walls, and the walls were falling in a cloud of dust.

I called her, but she shouldn't, and she was babbling something to herself, and I couldn't understand a word, and my hairs stood on end, and I just felt weird, and hurriedly walked away.

Lu Wu's madness made me have to think about staying in the city for two more days, or find someone to take a look at her? After thinking about it, I still think it's not as cost-effective as me holding on to the five or six taels of silver.

When I returned to the ruined temple after dark, Lu Wu stood alone in front of the tribute platform, and she didn't respond when I called her. I was a little tired, and when I saw that she didn't say hello, I didn't bother to speak again, and went to the other side of the temple to rest.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard her pacing around, and then called me, "Erniang." ”

"What's wrong?" I opened my eyes and saw that she looked calm and normal, "Aren't you resting?" ”

"You came back late today...... Please, did you inquire about the news? ”

Another question?

Another question!

I was shocked, I didn't feel sleepy anymore, my eyes were full of disbelief and fear when I looked at her, Lu Wu may have seen it, she touched her head, "I won't...... It's getting sick again......"

I nodded.

She shook her head, "No." No! I'm obviously very sober now, Erniang, did you hear something? Did you find out something? Isn't it? Tell me, talk to me! As she spoke, she bent down and grabbed my hand with great force.

"Lu Wu, be sober!" I was grabbed by her wrist and cried out in pain.

Lu Wu paused, let go of my hand, looked down at me, couldn't see a trace of emotion in his eyes, and said coldly in a commanding tone: "Tell me." ”

What a madman! I scolded in my heart, but I was finally afraid, and whispered: "I have already told you twice, and this is the third time." ”

"Say." She shouted.

"He's dead."

I looked up and said word by word, "The person you want me to inquire about is called Sheng Xuan, and he is dead." ”

Lu Wu pursed his lips.

"He didn't die in battle, he committed suicide."

"You're a liar!" Lu Wuyi grabbed me, there was a momentary sense of weightlessness, she pressed me against the wall and gritted her teeth and said, "You liar!" You lie!! You're lying!! ”

She repeated it over and over like crazy.

Oh. No, she's a lunatic.

Maybe I'm crazy too, so I grabbed her and told her over and over again, "I'm not lying!" He's dead, he's really dead, he's dead! ”

Lu Wuyi threw me against the wall, she fell to the ground and hugged her head and screamed: "Ahhhhh——————h

"He died a year ago! It's something everybody knows! I coughed violently, my body aching, "What are you crying about?" What are you crying about! Where to fight a war, where do you not die, what do you cry about! My daughter died in the war! I don't know where the anger came from, and I cried out loud at the top of my throat, "Why are you crying for a coward who ran away and committed suicide??!! ”

Lu Wu banged her head against the wall frantically, obviously I was talking, but she scolded and shut up while banging against the wall, what an out-and-out crazy and stupid woman!

Lu Wu didn't know how long it had been hitting the wall, I just saw that the gray wall was much darker, she leaned against the wall and opened her eyes, not knowing whether she was dead or alive.

I cried for a long time, so long that I passed out.

(f)

When I opened my eyes, it was dawn.

What caught my eye was a withered red wall, but I couldn't see Lu Wu.

What about Lu Wuren? I hurriedly got up and looked for her, what about Lu Wuren?

I searched for a long time in the ruined temple but didn't find it, and I didn't see it when I left the ruined temple and looked around the outskirts of the city.

She left me, I thought, after inquiring about the news, she left, really threw me away.

But as if my body was out of my control, I shouted "Lu Wu" and looked out of the city.

There is a river outside the city, and if you go out of the city, you will be out of the city. I thought it would be better to go back to the city to look for it first, but an old man by the river stopped me: "Huh! Are you just shouting at the top of your voice? ”

And I said yes, and asked him what he told me to do.

He was carrying a shoe in his hand, saying that he had picked it up on the bank of the river today, and said with a smile that he was afraid that someone had jumped into the river last night.

I remember the shoes very clearly, I bought them for Lu Wu a few days ago, and she has only been wearing them for a few days.

I regret it in my heart, I knew that I wouldn't spend that money to buy her shoes, it's a pure waste! I thought that it was good that the silver was stored on me, and I didn't jump into the water with her.

After thinking about it like this, for some reason there were drops of water on my hands, and when I looked up at the sky, it didn't rain, strange, strange.