Is it cocooning yourself again?

The freedom that Majima longs for may be the same thing as Kitajima's poem, which states that "freedom is nothing but the distance between the hunter and the prey".

Before agreeing to Majima to come to the house for tutoring, and after hearing that the nurse aunt took the initiative to leave, Asama predetermined this situation.

As Murphy's Law says, what should come will come.

What he was holding in the palm of his hand was the girl's slightly cool soft wattle, and the sweat in the palm of his hand didn't know who it belonged to.

Her hands, which are suitable for picking flowers, writing, reading, playing the piano, and doing many beautiful things, have been dyed with some traces of time, and there is no trace of weakness in the strength of holding his left hand.

It's not just the hands that connect them, it's the eyes.

Asama still water and Mai Majima looked at each other wordlessly.

Therefore, evasion and procrastination do not eliminate the problem. This kind of confession is inevitable until a higher mission is found for them. He is despicable, and he has no right to interfere with their freedom of expression.

He was hesitating, pondering his words, but the girl's tears fell silently on the dusty floor.

Tears emitted a dark mark like a small flower on the unwaxed wooden floor.

Futami Tsukikai endures misunderstanding and bullying, and Izumo Kaitea chooses self-exile in the moment of abandonment, and Immortal Kawa and Ichijo want to escape from the shackles of their family.

What about Mai Majima?

She has been trying to adapt to the environment, to adapt to her mother, to adapt to the identity of the ugly bastard, to adapt to the life of dropping out of school and working, to adapt to makeup, to adapt to the work of the love counseling department, and . Adaptation to [shallow still water].

In fact, Mai Majima, who took the initiative to adapt, is the most vulnerable person.

Therefore, with money and a system, she will regard it as a shelter for a sense of security.

Unlike the bold embrace of the second sight, Mai Majima, even the confession, is cautious.

But he couldn't see this humble posture, this self-limiting, unfree state.

Obviously talking to her about freedom, but the words he said were full of shackles.

What's wrong?

Before he came, she had lived alone.

If you rescue a deer in a trap in the wild, do you have to take the deer home and raise it for a lifetime?

Isn't it good to follow his guidance, learn knowledge, build cognition, find hobbies, and finally become a person worthy of both ontology and society?

The shallow still water of logical thinking lv.1,

Again, into the labyrinth of self-creation, self-justification.

After thinking about it, Asama unconsciously shook Majima's hand back and said,

"Mai, these freedoms you mentioned, you have had them since the day we met."

Mai Majima's eyes were still tearful and flashing with surprise.

"But I refuse you, and your freedom, exists as well."

“.”

"Mai, people will always influence each other, and this influence is not equal."

Majima understands that his influence on her is far greater than her influence on him, but as long as you are willing, why deliberately avoid it?

"Still water, it's you who said, don't love abstract people, love concrete people. Why do you respond with abstractions when you are loved as a concrete person? ”

“.”

"Still water, I remember that you talked about Rousseau's "Confessions" in the examination materials of the Love Counseling Department, and you said that Rousseau was a hypocritical person, and he justified himself for the sin of abandoning his five biological children with the abstract love of loving all mankind. In an environment that does not belong to the problem of the tram, he sacrifices the figurative minority for the sake of the imaginary majority, which is a kind of hypocritical refined self-interest. ”

"Mai, duty and love are not to be confused, and Rousseau's hypocrisy lies not in not love, but in using other love to dissolve his own irresponsibility. Indeed, what I have been pursuing is vague, nihilistic, abstract love.

Those specific loves, such as books, grape-flavored Fanta, and Chinese food, these are a kind of material desires, which can be for things, but not for people. Man cannot be objectified in the name of love. ”

"Still water, however, as long as it is a human being, it will definitely love something, just like the yearning and love of light of plants and trees. Every time you look at me more, I will indulge in the still water of happiness illuminated by the light, love is allowed to be unfair. If you want, I will be your [lover] for the rest of your life, or [thing], no problem"

Asama looked at Majima, who still had tears in his eyes, like seeing the second sight with burning eyes, like seeing himself in his previous life

Love is really a heinous thing, it can cause self-destruction, and this sacrifice is often not cherished.

"If I were really light, I wouldn't do that. The sun is safe for you only if it is far enough away from you. ”

It's not a direct refusal, but the attitude of drawing a clear line of distance is not to be ignored.

Majima was silent for a moment and confessed that he had completely failed

Asama tried to let go of his hand, but was clenched by Majima again.

Seeing that Asama didn't shake off his hand, Majima closed her eyes, and the warmth of his hand gave her the energy to continue.

The old air conditioner made a screeching rumble, and then fell silent again, as if it had stopped running.

It's not enough, and it can't be seen clearly, his true heart.

Mai Majima reopened her eyes, stared at Asama, and asked two questions with a seductive question,

"So, still water, can you tell me how you rejected Moonsea's confession to you?"

It's inconvenient to say."

"Then you can reject me again with the reason of rejecting her."

Asama felt that his chest was wrapped around a heavy feeling, and he just wanted to break free, but he couldn't bear to cut it.

"Okay. Mai, I declare to you once again that I am a person who has lost the desire and ability to fall in love, and if there is no love, there is no harm. I also hope that you can slowly understand my thoughts. In the future, we will still be friends, colleagues, or other partners, but it is best to maintain the standard of [friend] rank in words and deeds; We can tolerate each other's independent spiritual space; We should never hurt each other. ”

Listening to Asama say the agreement, probably, that's what he said to Futami too, right?

Mai Majima sighed deeply.

Even if he refuses, Asama still water, he will only say that it is his own problem.

He didn't doubt her feelings, he didn't reject her with nasty words like [maybe you just took a debt for a liking].

However, these words made her many times sadter than rejecting her directly.

"Do you know that your bastard-like, indecisive statement will give us hope?"

Hearing Mai Majima start scolding herself, Asama breathed a sigh of relief.

"No, it won't. All the entrances and exits of lovers were welded to death, and only the doors of friendship were always open. I've said it many times that I don't have any expectations and interests in love. Mai, life is vast, and you shouldn't fall into the word love. Hopefully, don't worry, I'll cut it off for you myself. Life is very short, the beauty of girls is much shorter than that of boys, don't wait for people who shouldn't wait, don't break hearts that shouldn't be broken. ”

"Even, let's all hate you?"

"It's good to hate me."

"Even if, seeing everyone fall in love with other people, get married, and leave you?"

Asama paused, controlling his expression,

"Yes, if that's your choice. Also, you must know that your likes and dislikes of my relatives are not so important. ”

Majima looked into Asama's eyes and tried to find the trace of the half-lied, but failed to find it.

She forgot the throbbing and worry when she confessed her heart, and at this moment, a breath of anger came out of her chest, angry for Asama's own pessimistic desirelessness.

She even more shallama actually thinks that Mai Majima will really hate him and get angry when she stays away from him.

He had long since become her own. But is he just [not that important] to him?

Tears fell from the corners of her eyes, and the nerves at the surgical site on her forehead also began to tingle.

"Then you were kind to me before, but you were just pitying me?"

"I'm not qualified to pity anyone. I just like you, appreciate you, and want to do something for you, and I don't expect anything in return, or in response. ”

Hearing "I like you", Mai Majima's heart seemed to skip a beat.

Reason told her that Asama said that he liked it was no different from his liking of a book and a dog.

Majima is even more convinced that Asama is the one who just wants to deliver umbrellas to people.

All his rhetoric and stance are too self-contained and arrogant, as if he is the only one in the world, a moral saint.

He swept all the feelings of the girls who liked him into the dustbin [of selfish love].

Majima thought of the [Principle of Stimulation and Response], and he used this method when he talked to her.

"This kind of thing is too cunning. Do you want to just like that, make everyone like you, then reject everyone, and end up consuming everyone? ”

"I don't hide my thoughts, and I've never wanted to be pleasing or consuming anyone."

"Still water, do you want to be the sun and let all the planets revolve around you?"

"Then please be your own stars."

“.”

Ten minutes of conversation, as if a century had passed.

Asama glanced at his phone and smiled gently,

"It's getting late, goodbye, friend."

"Still water. Can I be the most special friend in your heart? ”

"Mai, you're special enough."

The hands of the two of them let go.

Her body was also like an electrical appliance that had been drained of its power cord, and her energy had been drained.

Mai Majima was in good spirits, sent Asama out, and looked at his back - a person with an umbrella, and the raindrops under the street lamp flew to his umbrella and went out one by one.

Watching him disappear into the night of the street, the girl shuffled up the stairs with heavy steps, plunged into the bed, and covered her face with her hands.

Holding hands is still a sentimental process - after holding hands, you are destined to let go.

Wife?

In Japan, it means mistress.

Why do you want to do this?

The girl's affection is deep, and Asama has to visualize tragic love and resist his adolescent impulses.

George Orwell wrote about a sewer worker named Henry in "The Downfall of Paris and London." Originally, he was a decent person, but he met a beautiful girl who kept saying that she loved him deeply. The girl fell in love for a month, Hongxing went out of the wall twice, Henry was imprisoned because of her, and the girl promised him to wait for him, but when Henry met after being released from prison, she was already pregnant with someone else's child.

The point is that it's true that girls love Henry, and it's also true that they sleep with someone else. After experiencing this disillusioned love, it is understandable that Henry fell into the sewers of the city.

Asama did not have a misogynistic plot because of experience and big data cases, nor did he become a "young walking corpse" in Baudelaire's poem because of the failure experience of his previous life.

He has a purpose and passion in life, he just doesn't want to be in love.

Even so, Futami, Majima, and Immortal Kawa are 1,000,000 times more beautiful than George Orwell's girls.

He still has to refuse.

Asama still water hopes that he will get used to such things as rejecting good girls sooner.

Futami Wamajima's eyes rampant through his left and right minds.

[She's good] plus [she likes you] plus [you appreciate her], must be equal to [do you want to accept it]?

Wrong. If there is a word in your heart, you have to look at it carefully.

As for why Pochi, who has been with him for the longest time, did not confess, perhaps it is the cowardice brought about by extreme inequality.

Asama picked up a Pochi delivery at a convenience store, walked down the windy street, picked up a can that was sizzling on the ground, walked 200 meters, and threw it into a garbage bin.

But the annoyance of people, there is no dumpster to transfer. The human brain itself is a garbage bin.

It's annoying.

The phone in the pocket vibrates.

Immortal Chuan sent a [hehe.jpg] emoji.

It seems to be going well.

Asama looked up at the sky.

I really want to be an optimistic and cheerful person like the immortal river. She is a vitality idol, and even rejecting others is joyful.

After enduring the sweltering and sticky light rain along the way, I finally walked to the door.

Asama opens the door to the apartment, drops the umbrella he has put away, and looks up to see Poki sitting on the couch reading a book.

The blonde girl lifted her forehead to reveal a smooth forehead, and tied her hair into a cupola with hairpins and rubber bands.

"Stinky water, I'm going out to drink again."

Asama changed her shoes and glanced at Pochi on the way to the bathroom.

"Get your hair down, or anyone will know you're brainless."

Poki put down the book in his hand, jumped off the couch, and leaned over to Asama's side to smell the east and west, and couldn't hide.

"I'm staying with Majima-chan today."

Pochi pouted.

"Well, I've been assigned to a study group."

Asama looked at the kitchen, and Pochi most likely took the lunch he had prepared for dinner.

"Went to her house?"

"Hmm."

"Flower heart big turnip!"

Asama resisted the urge to beat the golden retriever, bullying the weak is not what a lonely person should do.

After settling the two-day assignment bonus with Pochi, Asama opened the courier box and handed Pochi a [Residence Permit Card] with a 6-year validity period that said that employment is permitted.

"What is this?"

"Illiterate? Your new identity. ”

"[Asama Pochi]!! All right!!! ”

Pochi changed his pouting mouth to a pout, and kissed Asama's face.

"Forbidden, yes."

A merciless hand pressed against her face.

"Let me hug you, Ah Shui Shui~~~"

"Do you know what this represents? Pochi. ”

"Mean, I'm officially married into the Asama family?"

The Asama family doesn't have a dog to match you, and my mother is allergic to cats and dogs.

"It means Pochi, you can turn back into a human. It is convenient to go to university, travel, and work part-time. ”

The joy on Pochi's face instantly melted, revealing a pitiful look,

"Ah Shui, are you going to kick me out?"

"Have faith in yourself, Poch, you're already a person."

"But I'm not ready for you to see, I haven't learned a single percent of your cooking."

The blonde girl bit her mouth, tears welling up, and she almost let out a puppy whimper.

Fortunately, the foreshadowing in the early stage worked, at least I didn't refuse to arrange it.

Asama sighed,

"Let's talk about it after the summer vacation."

Is there such a thing as freedom that is worthless?

After rejecting Majima, Asama begins to realize that the freedom he is peddling is not worth anything.

Thanks to the owners for their support

(End of chapter)