"What about me?" Chen Ci asked as if he wanted to compare himself with Li Ying, "Does Ah Yu believe me?" ”

Lin Yu affirmed: "Of course. ”

Seeing that she was hesitant about Li Ying, but sure of herself, Chen Ci was obviously very happy.

“…… I won't let you down, Ayu. ”

"I just want to thank you for supporting me, no matter how willful my decision was."

"Because for me, Ayu is also unique and irreplaceable." Chen Ci said: "Whenever I feel miserable and confused, Ah Yu will always show me the way out. ”

"Huh?" Lin Yu couldn't help but be a little curious when he heard him say how he felt for the first time: "For example? ”

"Does Ah Yu remember? After I entered Beijing, I sent poems everywhere, but they were all like a stone in the sea, and there was no response. In order to make ends meet, I had to write letters on the roadside or copy books for large families to earn money. As he spoke, he fell into a memory: "I once suspected that I was not self-sufficient and unworthy of appreciation, but I felt that the world was hopeless and there was no way out. That's when Ah Yu found me, in the darkest time of my life. ”

Lin Yu thought helplessly, shouldn't the darkest time in your life be when you were beaten half to death by Lin's private soldiers later?

She also remembered that time and smiled: "I'm your big customer." ”

"Yes," Chen Ci said with a smile: "Ah Yu said that I wrote very well, and said that he wanted to find me to 'customize'." ”

"I've found a lot of poems, and asked you to help me copy them."

"Sometimes a poem is worth the price of a book I copied for someone."

"That's because your handwriting is really good, and you're also very good at drawing."

"It's Ah Yu's discernment. Before Ah Yu, no one had ever been willing to pay for my paintings. ”

Lin Yu nodded matter-of-factly: "That's really because they don't have vision." ”

Chen Ci looked at her gently: "Then one day, I accidentally rolled a small portrait with the picture scroll to be delivered......"

"When I opened it, the little statue floated out, and the women's clothes and makeup on it were exactly the same as what I was dressed one day."

"That day, I found out that the little statue was missing, and I was almost desperate," Chen Ci said with a wry smile: "I know that Ah Yu is the daughter of the Nanyang Lin family, and I know that we have no possibility at all." This was originally my unilateral wishful thinking, but if my mind was leaked...... I'm not afraid of being ridiculed, but I'm afraid of being disgusted and alienated by Ah Yu......"

After Lin Yu learned Chen Ci's intentions, he did not respond immediately. She pretended that nothing had happened and that she didn't know anything, and continued to correspond with Chen, but asked about his family background.

Lin Yu said softly, "You have passed my test. ”

"Later, Ah Yu came to me and asked me to paint a tree of melons, and asked me to paint a bunch of Qiong Yao jade, which was delivered on the day of the Shangsi Festival."

"You gave me the scroll with papaya," Lin Yu smiled slightly, "I left you with the scroll with Qiongju." ”

Chen Ci looked at her deeply: "Vote for me with papaya, and repay it with Qiongju." Bandit retribution, always think it is good. ”

He tentatively stretched out his hand towards her, but Lin Yu did not dodge. Seeing this, he happily and carefully took her hand, and repeated it gently: "Always think it's good." ”

Seeing that he was so happy, Lin Yu held his fingertips and pinched them in the palm of his hand, remembering the oath he had made, and his heart felt sour.

"In the darkest time of my life, Ah Yu was the only light that illuminated my world."

"I ...... How can it be so important! ”

Seeing that she didn't seem to know how important she was to him, Chen Ci suddenly became anxious: "Ah Yu is very important!" Ah Yu will not look down on my background, and has always understood me, understood me, and supported me...... When I felt that I couldn't see hope and wanted to give up, Ah Yu was even willing to give up her life and marry me. ”

He hugged her in pain, his fingers clenching her clothes tightly: "It's me who is useless, I can't protect you." ”

Lin Yu hugged him gently, and patted his thin butterfly bone comfortingly: "You have done a good job." ”

"I'm not good at all! I've hated myself so powerlessly, I hate my weakness, I hate myself for having illusions about the nobles, and I used to grovel to them like that—"

He took a deep breath: "So this time, I swore to myself that I would never be so weak again, never be weak again, and never have illusions about the Shi clan again......"

Lin Yu was silent, and continued to caress his back with a sense of comfort.

"I can do a lot of things, Ah Yu," Chen Ci let go of his embrace, looked into her eyes, and said sincerely, "Whatever you want, I will do it for you." ”

Looking at those warm eyes, Lin Yu pondered for a moment: "When we have nothing, it is enough to think that we can live a better life, but when we have some power in our hands that can be changed...... People will be greedy to change more things. ”

Chen Ci's expression changed: "I made Ah Yu feel greedy? ”

"No, I mean me. I'm greedy. Lin Yu said: "When the power of this world far exceeds mine, I will be very afraid to hide myself, but once I find that it can be shaken by me, I can't wait to stretch my fists and feet, exposing those incompatible edges and corners." ”

Lin Yu felt that Chen Ci might not understand what she meant, but she still wanted to confide in him: "I know that I may be killing myself, but at the same time I am very happy, very happy that I have not bowed to this world and have been changed too much." ”

She has always hated the world, and she can always clearly feel that her life in this era is like being shoehorned into a cramped cabinet, or like wearing shoes that are too tight.

Because it can't be adapted, it can only be ground out of countless blisters, and then walk with blood.

Now, she briefly left the world bound by countless rules, and escaped from the cage of the identity of "Lin Yu".

But outside this world, it's just a bigger cage.

But once she had some chance to stretch her limbs, she didn't want to go back.

What's more, she even felt like she had a glimpse of the possibility of breaking the box and rebuilding it into a house where she could live comfortably.

"Ah Yu doesn't have to bow to the world." Chen Ci hugged her again, "Anything that doesn't suit your heart, I can make them disappear." Ah Yu always advised me to be restrained and not to be so extreme, I know that Ah Yu is for my good and worried about me, but I'm ...... Even if I don't die well in the end, even if the world hates me to the bone, it doesn't matter if you even light me up after death. Because what kind of world Ah Yu wants, I am willing to create what kind of world Ah Yu wants. ”