Chapter 9: Zhou Heng's self-blame
Wang Zhuyun and Liu Xianglan were quite surprised to see that Ji Yuanhai decided to leave the provincial university campus and live in the courtyard in the future.
Well, you don't have to see Ji Yuanhai until Saturday and Sunday every week, you can see Ji Yuanhai when you go home from work every day.
When they all went to work, Lu Heling had a thought in her heart: You are happy at this time, and when you find out that Yuan Hai really wants you to accompany you every day, you will know what it is like for me to be unbearable!
It is also said that in addition to the fact that Ji Yuanhai and Lu Heling spent a long time together in the first year of marriage, after going to school in the provincial capital, Ji Yuanhai was busy with his studies and making money, and because of the conditions of the school, he actually did not have too long to accompany him.
For example, the holiday time is about thirty days, Ji Yuanhai still has to be busy with some things, he has to go home, and there are things to make money, which is not a long time.
From now on, Ji Yuanhai's husband and wife life will return to normal.
When he arrived at Fangcao Xuan, Ji Yuanhai packed up the flowers and plants, and he didn't sell flowers and plants anymore.
After all, after starting work, you should pay attention to the areas that should be affected.
When it was close to nine o'clock in the morning, Zhou Heng came on a bicycle.
This is also said on Friday night, originally Zhou Heng wanted to have dinner with Ji Yuanhai on Saturday and talk about his heart, but Ji Yuanhai wanted to go to see Chen Desheng with Yue Feng on Saturday, so he made an appointment on Sunday.
Seeing Zhou Heng coming, Ji Yuanhai asked if he would go out to eat or eat here.
Zhou Heng's eyelids drooped, and his mood was visibly low: "Actually, you can eat anywhere, I just want to talk to you about my heart." ”
"There are some things that have been in my mind for a long time, and now that I have my own job, I am ready to leave home and live on my own...... Brother Ji, I'm really ......"
Speaking of this, he didn't continue, but looked at Ji Yuanhai: "Is there any wine?" I want to drink. ”
Ji Yuanhai took a bottle of Moutai, two cups, and poured the wine.
I also took some peanuts, pickles and other dishes as dishes.
The two raised their glasses and drank a glass first, and the sound of cross talk came from the color TV, the picture was a little muddy, and the sound was a little noisy, but in this era, it was already a top enjoyment.
After a glass of wine, Zhou Heng didn't wait for the strength of the wine to come up, so he sighed: "Brother Ji, why didn't you ask me, why did you leave home?" ”
Ji Yuanhai said: "I know you have a story, but I feel it's better not to listen to it. ”
"No one wants to have a warm home; When you leave the house, it means that you have a sad affair. ”
"Zhou Heng, do you want to tell me?"
Zhou Heng lowered his head, raised the wine bottle to pour himself wine, and the tears on his face also dripped into the wine glass.
"I may not be that strong, but I always feel really tired when I work hard until this point."
"Brother Ji, I don't want to tell anyone, but I want to tell you."
Ji Yuanhai understood that he was trusting himself, and he didn't shirk it again: "If you want to tell me, then tell me, I will never tell anyone again." ”
"Moreover, Zhou Heng, you told me from today onwards, don't tell anyone again."
"Don't even say anything about your future wife and children."
"There are some things that can only be hidden in the heart forever, do you understand?"
Zhou Heng raised his eyes to look at Ji Yuanhai, he could hear that although Ji Yuanhai agreed, he still advised him not to tell his secret.
"Of course I know that I will never tell anyone else about such a thing." Zhou Heng wiped his tears and said in a low voice, "Brother Ji, I'm too tired." ”
"Finally there is hope to escape from those things, I can't help but want to say, and I can only believe you."
Ji Yuanhai nodded, sat down, and patted him on the shoulder: "Say it." ”
Zhou Heng lowered his head, put another glass of wine into his stomach, and then cried in a low voice.
"My family is not short of money, and my life is good."
"But there is never a time for peace...... When I was young, they always quarreled and fought, and when I was younger, I always thought that my mother was right and my father was wrong. ”
"Mom said that he was too useless, he had been a clerk all his life, and he was not worthy of carrying shoes for others...... They were noisy and fighting, and I was very afraid of the two of them meeting at that time. They were alone with me, they were all good fathers, good mothers, they would insult and beat each other as soon as they met, and the whole family was a battlefield, and I was trembling all over, and it felt like the sky was falling......"
"Later, they stopped arguing, and my father and mother were promoted, and they were no longer ordinary clerks...... But ......"
When Zhou Heng said this, he couldn't go on.
Ji Yuanhai listened carefully and did not speak.
After a long time, Zhou Heng continued: "But they are no longer my parents, they are so strange that they make me feel sick. ”
"They taught me a truth, the most important truth, go up, you can control the fate of others!"
"I don't want to be disgusting like them, I don't want to get married and beat and abuse each other with my wife in front of my son, because I am not capable enough; I don't want to rely on that kind of dirty means to please others, trample my dignity under the feet of others, and look up and see other people's trouser belts! ”
"I never want to be like that! I'm going up, I'm going to be in charge of my own destiny! ”
Zhou Heng became more and more excited as he spoke, and finally his eyes became red: "So, I'm shameless, I'm shameless!" ”
"I chase Feng Xue and Zhu Fangfang, I don't fancy how they look, I don't care about their character, and I don't have any love for them, I just want them to bring me benefits and let me go up! As long as they can let me go up, I will be good to them for the rest of my life, it doesn't matter if there is love or not, I can pretend to like them and fall in love with them! ”
"Brother Ji, do you think I'm bad enough! Am I a badass? ”
Ji Yuanhai looked at Zhou Heng's appearance, and only then did he understand where his heart knot.
began to step into work, and Zhou Heng was also ready to leave the family that had brought him countless shadows, and because of this, many of his thoughts were like the bowstring being loosened, and he couldn't hold it all at once; The pain of the past is one thing, and his own "shamelessness" to his former "shamelessness" is also one thing.
To put it simply, his conscience hurt a little, he felt guilty and blamed himself, and he felt that his motives for pursuing Feng Xue and Zhu Fangfang were very shameless and despicable.
Ji Yuanhai was speechless when he heard it.
What kind of despicability is this?
After entering the society, if you can be "good to people for a lifetime", that is the absolute benchmark of love, as for whether it is a performance, is it so important?
is like Zhu Fangfang, does she know what love is?
(End of chapter)