My name is Li Xiaotian, before my sister was born, I was also a child who was pampered by the family, my parents spoiled me, and would buy me all kinds of clothes and toys.

Until my sister was born, I went to the hospital to look at my sister lying on the bed, and I couldn't help but think that my sister was really cute.

I cautiously reached out to touch my sister, but my mother stopped me loudly, "Li Xiaotian, how can you touch your sister without washing your hands!" ”

The first time I was yelled at by my mother, I stood in place at a loss, red-eyed and wanted to justify, "I just, I just want to touch my sister......"

Mom waved her hand irritably, but when she looked at her sister on the bed, she looked gentle.

I was stunned, my mother's expression used to look at me, but now I looked at my sister.

I shook my head uncomfortably and comforted myself: Mom is just in a bad mood, and she will be fine when she is discharged from the hospital.

Later years

I taught my sister to walk, and my sister fell down and cried while walking, and my mother always blamed me, "Can't you help my sister?" ”

"Mom, I didn't"

I tried to defend myself, but my mother was angry, "You still dare to talk back, don't you?" ”

The grievances in my heart spread, and I tried not to cry out with red eyes.

……

Later, every time my mother bought a gift, she only bought my sister's, and I stood in the distance and looked at my mother, who used to love me the most, looking at other children with a smile on her face, and my heart was very bitter.

I said, "Mom, can you remember to bring me a present?" ”

Mom replied perfunctorily, "I know, I'll remember it next time." ”

After saying that, he turned his head and went to tease his sister.

But then I didn't wait for a gift from my mother.

……

My sister was naughty and took my homework paper to draw, and I pushed my sister with red eyes.

My sister fell to the ground and cried, and my mother indiscriminately went to comfort my sister, and scolded me, "You are a brother, how can you push your sister?" ”

My sister cried, and I cried aggrievedly, "She drew my homework paper, which was the homework I worked so hard to write this summer." ”

But my sister's crying was louder, and my mother's attention was all on my sister, and she didn't pay attention to what I said.

……

These discriminatory treatments made me red-eyed, and my temperament became more and more silent.

Dad was an alcoholic who often drank outside until he was unconscious, and died when his sister was five years old.

The family's house was confiscated to pay a high amount of compensation, and the huge pressure almost crushed my mother, and during that time, my mother beat and scolded me, because I looked very similar to my father, like it made my mother red-eyed, and if it wasn't for the legal obligation, she would like to give me away.

I endured all of this in silence.

Sister Li Xiaotao's personality is sometimes violent and sometimes well-behaved, but she likes to laugh, and her mother also likes her sister, and often puts "my baby daughter" in her mouth.

Since my father's death in a drunk driver, my mother's heart has been completely biased towards her sister.

I kept my head down and was silent, but I always looked at my sister with resentment in my eyes.

When my sister went to school, she was found to have brain cancer and bipolar disorder, and her mother felt sorry for her sister and asked her to suspend school.

My sister began to become manic, and would inexplicably get angry and throw things, and even curse loudly.

Even so, my mother still coaxed my sister and relied on her in everything.

Later, the illness worsened, and the mother began to restrict her sister from watching TV, going out, playing with her mobile phone, etc., which would aggravate her sister's headache, and in order to calm her sister's emotions, her mother would tell her sister bedtime stories every night.

Until that night, there was the sound of throwing things, knocking on doors, and scraping corners from my sister's room, and when my mother and I broke into my sister's bedroom, we found that my sister was holding a porcelain piece and was about to scrape her wrist with tears streaming down her face.

My sister said that her head hurt so much that she wanted to die.

Mom's eyes were red, blaming herself for not being able to do so, so she could only watch her sister in pain.

That night, my mother came to me and said, "I talked to the doctor, your sister's condition is getting worse and she needs surgery, the family doesn't have that much money, you don't have to go to school from tomorrow, you work with me to earn treatment for your sister." ”

This was followed by constant bickering......

I looked at my mother with red eyes and viciousness, "Why do you decide my life for me!" Sister, she's a burden! Even if I have surgery, there is a high probability that I will be paralyzed and become a vegetative person, and I don't want to live like this with the debt of treating my sister, it's very boring, you know Mom? ”

With a "snap", my mother slapped me angrily and said viciously, "That's your sister, it's your duty as an older brother to save her!" Dropping out of school from tomorrow is not negotiable! ”

Resentment spread in my heart, watching my mother slam the door and leave, the monstrous resentment overwhelmed my whole being, and a vicious thought slowly came to my mind.

In the following months, I would secretly add drugs to the meals my sister was going to eat to make her condition worse, watching my sister's condition worsen, and constantly hoping that my sister would die soon.

I would even sneak my sister out and let her take the elevator alone, because my sister would get sick and irritable as soon as she took the elevator.

My sister is stupid and can trick her out every time.

Just a week before my sister's surgery, I couldn't sit still and gently coaxed my sister to take her to the amusement park.

I will never forget my sister's expression that day, and my sister agreed with a smile on her face.

My sister is very quiet when she is not sick, and she smiles when she looks at others, but if she has a headache, she can't control her emotions and yells at the people around her.

But when I secretly took my sister out, my sister didn't get sick during the whole process, and even smiled at me and reminded, "Brother, if you have time, you can go to my room and rummage through my desk, there is a star bottle on it, you can take a look." ”

I nodded perfunctorily, now I just want to quickly throw away this burden, after coming to the amusement park, I excused myself to leave, after leaving my sister, my heart is not as relaxed as I imagined, but very worried.

After a few hours of wandering outside, I was going to go home.

Near the house, pedestrians were stationed here and talking about something, and the sound of ambulances and police cars echoed around.

I had a bad feeling that when I rushed out of the crowd to the ambulance, I saw blood on the ground...... and the mother who broke down and cried, and the bloody girl who was taken to the ambulance by the doctor on a bed frame, but the girl's skirt was exactly what her sister was wearing.

My sister committed suicide by jumping off the building, and chose to commit suicide on May 14, and then the police came to me for questioning, I lowered my head and was silent, the police just shook my head and didn't say anything but took something from my sister's room and went back to investigate my sister's trajectory that day.

Later, in the police station, my mother knew that I took my sister out of the door, she beat and scolded me like crazy, the police stopped my mother, and I was kicked out of the house because of this, I lived in the police station for a week, the police always looked at me and couldn't help but sigh, comforted me, "My sister was not killed by you, you don't have to blame yourself, my mother will help you explain." ”

A few days later, my mother was called by the police, and I learned from the police that my sister had already prepared a plan to commit suicide, and even if I didn't take my sister out, she would most likely commit suicide.

The police also handed my mother a notebook, which was written by my sister, and my mother broke down and cried as she looked at the notebook.

The policeman secretly pulled me aside and handed me a star bottle, and he said to me, "This is what my sister left for you, you can open the little note inside, I think it is very important for you." ”

I took the star bottle, but I never opened it, after all, my sister has always hated him as an older brother, and the little note in it may be saying something abusive to herself.

The strange thing is that since my mother read the diary, she has never beaten and scolded herself, and asked me to go back to live at home, and insisted that I go to study and then take the college entrance examination.

Strangely, I didn't read anything in the diary, because my mother hid it away from me.

But since the death of my sister, my mother's mental state is not very good, and she always says to herself, "It's all my fault, it's because I'm incapable, otherwise my daughter wouldn't choose to jump off the building." ”

"My daughter is dead, how can my daughter die?"

"It's me, it's all my fault......"

Later, I got into a good university, and on the day I went to college, my mother chose to commit suicide in the same way as my sister.

I was the only one in the empty house, and I learned all the truth when I found my sister's diary when I was packing up my mother's belongings.

My sister has a splitting headache every night, she can't control her emotions, she hides a lot of porcelain pieces, and she can't help but hurt herself every night in order to get relief.

It wasn't until she knew that I was forced to drop out of school by my mother and that I would probably become a vegetative person after surgery, and my sister made up her mind to commit suicide, she didn't want her family to be heartbroken after her death, so she disguised herself as a bad child.

But what she thinks is a bad boy is just saying "I hate you" to her mother, which is really stupid.

The diary was full of words such as "I love my brother the most" and "I love my mother the most", and every time I called my sister out to play, my sister was actually very happy, and she thought that I finally didn't hate her anymore.

Actually, my sister knows the road, but she always lies to me and says she doesn't know the road, because she knows that if she says she knows the road, then my brother won't take her out to play.

Before my sister chose to commit suicide, she secretly bought a bouquet of carnations and put them in her mother's room, and my mother cherished the flower very much and took care of it all the time, but in the end the bouquet withered.

The flower died, and my mother went completely crazy.

The last sentence in the diary wrote: I don't want to be a burden to my mother and brother, I think they can live easily and freely, and my departure is the best gift I can give to my family.

Until the end, I didn't dare to open the star bottle, because I didn't have the courage and I didn't dare.

After reading the diary, I cleaned up and jumped from the spot where my sister jumped off the building.

When I opened my eyes again, I came to another world and became a monster, and my mother and sister were still alive, repeating the days before my sister died.

There is a rule in my mind that tells me that I must be hostile to my sister, and look at my sister with resentment in my eyes as I did before.

Later, I gradually forgot all the memories of my sister after her death, and when I looked at my sister in front of me, he actually knew that it was not a real sister, but a human called a "player".

And his existence is to be bound in this place, constantly staging the drama of trying to kill his sister, who is dead but another sister will appear another day.

It wasn't until one day that Bai Yao's appearance made me really realize my sister.

This sister is very good to herself, not as violent as before, really good and good.

Later, I took her to the amusement park, I abandoned her, and before I left, she gave me the star bottle, and this time I finally had the courage to open the little note inside, and it turned out to be ...... The little note was full of words of blessing to yourself......

I regretted it, I searched the whole amusement park and couldn't find my sister.

It wasn't until on the way home that I saw my sister die in front of me.

At that moment, all my memories came back, the power that bound me was gone, and my mother disappeared from this world.

Going around and around, I'm still the only one left......