looked at the girl in front of her who couldn't hide her inner emotions and looked a little heavy.

Lu Zhengyi was in a trance, and the palm that was stretched out to rub her hair paused.

In the past, even if he squatted, Liu Baoning's height was not shorter than him, and he was completely like a child.

But now, after he squatted, the little girl was as tall as him.

Some of the actions of childhood no longer seem to be appropriate.

It's only been a few years, but it's already very different from my impression of Liu Baoning at the beginning.

The changes in the growth stage of people are really obvious.

I still remember the first time we worked together, she was a very lively and spiritual child.

Because of his early wisdom, he can see many things very clearly.

Compared with Li Zhenxi, sometimes Lu Zhengyi felt that this kid should act more appropriately.

At that time, Liu Baoning would often come to him.

Because she was the first person she had ever seen, someone who was different from ordinary people, someone who could understand her.

She often talks to herself, and when she is on the set, she will follow behind like a little heel, to Ah Yong and the stone statue...... After getting acquainted with them, she would often go to them.

Compared with ordinary children at this age, they like to play with puppet toys and watch cartoons.

She's different.

After knowing that Lu Zhengyi has the ability to ensure her safety, she likes to come into contact with these new people and things.

But now, not only has she grown taller, but even some of her thoughts have changed.

Liu Baoning is no longer the carefree child, but a girl who slowly integrates into the social environment.

After the filming of Curse 2 started, she rarely bothered herself again.

Even when talking to myself, I have a cautious tone, no longer as casual as when I was a child.

Of course, this caution is not that she is afraid of herself.

Lu Zhengyi could see that her caution was more like restraint.

There is a kind of when I went to my grandmother's house during the Chinese New Year when I was a child, and I saw a lot of relatives, whether it was uncles, uncles, or aunts, I could face it naturally, and then play around with a group of cousins who were not very familiar.

But when I grew up, I went to my grandmother's house and re-faced my uncle, aunt, cousin, and cousin, who I knew very well when I was a child, but I was so stiff that I was facing a stranger's sense of déjà vu.

Even strangers may not be embarrassed.

After all, strangers on the side of the road may also be a one-sided relationship, out of asking for directions, out of casual chat...... There was no friendship in the past, and there will be no friendship in the future.

But in the face of those relatives who were very familiar with them as children, they warmly stepped forward to entertain and ask how they were doing, but you can no longer face and respond with the mentality of a child.

And their appearance at that time was very similar to Liu Baoning today.

As she grew up, she began to understand this society gradually, and was bound by some social frameworks, and began to think about her own abilities, whether they were good or bad.

Lu Zhengyi turned his head and looked at Yu Wenxiu, who was covering his mouth because of some speculation, and was a little incredulous.

"Teacher Yu, you can go out for a while."

He spoke softly, "I have something to say to Ning Ning." ”

"Director Lu, Deputy Director Zhang is really ......"

But Yu Wenxiu did not leave, but asked hesitantly.

Although she had already guessed about this matter, after all, Zhang Yu's mental and physical changes were too great from before, so that people could fully see how much shock caused by a heart attack had affected his body.

But she didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

The stent is all done, why can't it last for only two years?

And didn't Deputy Director Zhang already go to see Dr. Xu Bingcai and prescribe medicine?

That Doctor Xu seems to be also a cultivator, as a cultivator, his medical skills will be higher than ordinary people, right?

"The world is unpredictable, blame me."

Lu Zhengyi reluctantly explained, "It may be that I was frozen when I participated in the filming of Xenospace before. ”

"After all, it was winter, and the filming location was in the Northeast, which must have had an impact."

"Winter is too difficult for the sick and the elderly, and he may also blame me, so he didn't say goodbye a few days ago."

In fact, a few days ago, when Zhang Yu said in the car that he wanted to go back, he could sense that the other party's tone was a little complaining.

But there is nothing wrong with his words.

If he hadn't been so active in participating in the filming, but had chosen to retire directly after his illness, his body would definitely not have been dragged down so early, and there might be a few more years.

Thinking about it further, if you don't meet yourself, if you don't rekindle your creative heart, continue to follow the market, and be an assistant director who lives a messy and easy, maybe you can live for more than ten years or decades.

After all, he is only in his sixties, that is, he has just passed the age of retirement.

Swing rotten, lie flat, although ...... Some dreams and pursuits are sacrificed, but the most important thing is to live.

Listening to Lu Zhengyi's words, Yu Wenxiu instinctively defended it, "I don't blame you, in fact, at that time...... Deputy Director Zhang has a deep desire to re-enter the group, and you have stopped him a few times. ”

"That's what happened, but anyway, I'm also responsible."

Lu Zhengyi waved his hand, "Okay, there is no need to hide this matter, because Lao Zhang already knows it, but I still hope that after you understand the situation, you don't care about him and stimulate him, everyone...... It's better to continue pretending you don't know anything. ”

“…… I understand. ”

Yu Wenxiu nodded, "I'll tell the others, I think...... As a friend who has been together for so many years, it is necessary for everyone to know. ”

"But I will also tell them not to contact Deputy Director Zhang to inquire about the situation, or to care about him and stimulate him."

"Actually, Sister Wei, when I went to visit Deputy Director Zhang's house before, I added the contact information of Deputy Director Zhang's wife, and there will be contact from time to time, and we can silently pay attention to her through her."

Lu Zhengyi replied, "That's good. ”

With that, the atmosphere fell silent.

After a few seconds of stalemate, Yu Wenxiu spoke softly, "Then I'll go out first." ”

"Remember to close the door."

Lu Zhengyi instructed.

"Okay."

Yu Wenxiu replied, and came to Liu Baoning, who had a sad face, "Then I'll go out first, Ning Ning." ”

"Goodbye, Aunt Xiuxiu."

Liu Baoning waved his hand.

And when the door of the house was closed with a soft 'bang', only Lu Zhengyi and Liu Baoning were left in the house.

"Sit."

Lu Zhengyi casually pushed the chair next to him over, "What does Ning Ning think of what I just said?" ”

"Am I responsible for Deputy Director Zhang's situation?"

"If it weren't for me, he would have been able to live a little longer."

Liu Baoning sat down next to him obediently, but he still looked restrained, and his answer was also after thinking for a long time, "I feel...... Aunt Xiuxiu has a point, it's not all your fault. ”

These questions are not easy to answer, and she seems to think that following Yu Wenxiu's train of thought is the best answer.

"It's definitely not all my fault, Lao Zhang himself is also responsible."

Lu Zhengyi replied very bluntly, "After all, we all knew his body at the beginning, and we also proposed to let him cultivate for a while longer. ”

"But he still asked me once or twice when I could join the group, and in the end I couldn't resist him, so I let him enter the group."

"But at this time, the thought of survival will definitely make him have some more selfish thoughts, which is normal."

As he spoke, he paused, "But if I do it again, I will still make the same choice and let Lao Zhang join the group." ”

"Even if I knew there would be a consequence, I would do it."

Liu Baoning's eyes widened, "Why?" ”

I know that he will die, but I will still let Deputy Director Zhang enter the group?

"In the final analysis, in fact, before joining the group, Deputy Director Zhang also knew very well that this decision to join the group might cause his condition to deteriorate, and ...... There are consequences of death. Lu Zhengyi explained softly, "I persuaded him, his wife also persuaded him, and the rest of the crew also persuaded him, but he still wants to join the group, why do you think?" ”

"Because...... Deputy Director Zhang likes filming very much? ”

Liu Baoning hesitated and replied, this answer is not difficult to guess.

"Yes, he likes filming very much."

Lu Zhengyi continued, "At that time, he thought that he wanted to accompany the crew further than die. ”

He thinks that people should do more meaningful things to enrich themselves before they die, rather than forcing themselves to accept some maintenance programs in order to live a few more years, such as going to bed early, not eating spicy, greasy and stimulating things, and not being able to ...... You can't do many, many things that have become a habit in the first place. ”

"It's just that when death really appeared in front of him and he felt that his body was becoming more and more weak, his mentality changed, thinking that more than dreams, pursuits, and pleasures, as long as he could live, it was more important than anything else."

Liu Baoning was a little silent, she didn't understand why Director Lu told her this.

"Death is a necessity for man."

Lu Zhengyi looked at her silent appearance and continued, "When a person has the concept of 'death', he knows very well that he will definitely die, and he also knows that some bad habits may increase the speed of his death. ”

"But only at the moment when death really comes and the body feels pain, people will begin to really face this problem."

"But that's what a person should go through, the way he should go."

"Even if he has already felt it, as long as this memory, this feeling, is erased, and people go back to an earlier time, he will still make the same decision, continue not to cherish his body, and cannot recognize the fear of facing death."

"And you, even under the influence of these eyes, can peek into the end of some people, but in the end, that is the path that others should go through, and it has nothing to do with you."

"You're just on the other side of the road, holding a telescope and watching them end every step of the way, that's all."

And Liu Baoning's puzzled gaze was directly stunned.

There was more emotion in her eyes.

If you are like Yu Wenxiu, Zhou Jie, and Xu Bingcai, people who have acquired the ability through their own efforts will probably not think about whether it is good or bad that they have this ability.

They only get the ability after their own thinking and cognition have matured, and this kind of thinking like a bull's horn will hardly appear.

They may use their skills to help others, and they may have some bold ideas because of their abilities, but they will hardly doubt their own abilities and their own existence.

But Liu Baoning is different.

She may be precocious, she may be mature as a child, but that doesn't mean she's really an adult.

On the contrary, she will continue to absorb some new knowledge in the process of growing up, and for this knowledge, she will have some different perspectives and cognitions from ordinary people because of her own uniqueness, and think about some strange questions.

For example, question yourself......

"I remember when you were a kid you used to talk to me." Lu Zhengyi finally stretched out his palm and put it on her hair, "But it can't be said that it was a child, it should be said...... When you were in elementary school, you guess. ”

"Now I'm in junior high school, and I have a secret, right? I felt uncomfortable, and I didn't want to tell me. ”

"During this period of filming, you always look absent-minded, is it because of Deputy Director Zhang?"

A few simple words, he said in a calm tone.

And Liu Baoning, who was originally stunned, nodded with difficulty after saying these words.

She didn't cry, but she kept her head down.

"I don't want to see this kind of bad thing."

"It's Uncle Zhang today, so if it's someone else, someone I care about more, then what should I do?"

"Should I continue to be like my mother said, and just watch? Why did these eyes give me the ability to discover these things, but they didn't give me the ability to solve them? ”

"What's the point of only seeing that? Even those I don't even know, they may be walking on the road, they may be laughing, they may be full of sorrow, but my eyes can sense that they are about to die, and more and more light is coming out of them, but what can I do? ”

"I can only watch from the sidelines, indifferently, at first I will be sad, but later, I found that I am actually used to it, I am not so sad, I feel that I am cold-blooded, I hate myself ......"

Compared with not being able to solve the problem, Liu Baoning is more sad that he has slowly gotten used to it in the process.

These words are not easy to say.

It's as if there was a natural disaster and a lot of people died, and when everyone felt sad and should have sad emotions as a human being, their hearts were very calm and indifferent.

She felt like an outlier.

And in front of Lu Zhengyi, he admitted this fact.

And Lu Zhengyi froze at Liu Baoning's words.

This is something he didn't expect, he thought that the little girl was blaming herself for not being able to help Zhang Yu.

But now...... The problem seems to be a bit more serious.

This change in ability made her feel a deeper sense of separation between her own cognition and that of ordinary people.

(End of chapter)