"What are you thinking?"

Ouyang Jin and I snuggled together, didn't speak to each other, and finally after waiting for a long time, I couldn't help it.

Ouyang Jin smiled and touched my face.

"I'm wondering," Ouyang Jin smiled really charmingly, his appearance was very handsome, and he was very good at maintenance, so his skin also looked better than other men, "Did I do it to satisfy you just now?" ”

My face burned with shame and I punched him.

"Oh, what are you talking about, it's so annoying!"

When I was at home, I was going to forgive him and I wanted to continue to develop with him, so we packed up and came back very quickly after that hug. Now we are in the big bed of Ouyang Jin's house.

And, by the way, a small intimate encounter.

"Woman, it's hard to guess, one moment like an angel, the other like a goblin."

Ouyang Jin leaned on the head of the bed and sighed. Of course I know what he's talking about.

"Ouyang Jin, now that I'm back, I've slept with you as you want, you should tell me about your plan and my father's plan now, right? It's funny and ironic, I want to know what my dad is up to, and I have to sell my body to please you to find out. ”

"I'm angry when you say that, as if I'm taking advantage of someone's danger, as if the two of us are trading." Ouyang Jin said and put on a bathrobe and got out of bed to pour wine and drink|一|本|read| , Standing beside the bed and pretending to look at me angrily, "I see that you were also very involved just now, haven't you seen me for two days?" ”

I didn't speak, and gave him a blank look.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Ouyang Jin jumped up and sat next to me again, "Oh, do you want to drink?" ”

I shook my head in refusal, thinking about something else.

"Ouyang Jin, what do you say, what will Boss Shao and Xu Wei's mother plan to do?"

"How do I know, I'm not them." Ouyang Jin lay on the pillow, staring at the ceiling, drinking red wine as he spoke.

I looked at the red liquid in his cup and the white of the room, and I felt a little confused.

"Ouyang Jin, do you need my help?"

"You? Forget it. ”

"What do you mean, what do you mean to tell me to forget it, you look down on me?"

"Why do I think you are so persistent and ambitious now, you see how chic you are, you can eat when you eat, play when you play, how can you follow these things every day. Rest assured, you just have a place to live in the future. ”

"What's wrong with me, I can't care about my own company."

"Yes, why not, I didn't say I can't. Besides, I can't control you, you can worry about it as much as you want. ”

"Then what do you mean, didn't you just say that I was ambitious? I ask you what it means to be ambitious, and you can explain it well. ”

There's always a quiet moment before a storm comes, and that's to get people prepared, but I don't know how well I'm prepared and prepared.

On this day, I was about to go out, Ouyang Jin went to the company early in the morning to deal with things, and I wanted to take a break to buy something for him, because I just knew that Ouyang Jin was going to have a birthday.

When I first arrived at the mall and hesitated to buy something good for Ouyang Jin, my mobile phone rang, and I took it out to see that it was from Zhuoyu.

"Alas, Zhuoyu, what's wrong, what's the matter with me?"

"Do you have time, shall we find a place to sit down and talk?"

I hesitated for a moment, Ouyang Jin's gift hadn't been bought yet.

"What's wrong Xingzhu, are you busy now, am I too sudden?"

Zhuo Yu then asked, forget it, let's buy it later.

"No, no, I'm very idle now, where do you say to talk."

"Xingzhu, you seem to have lost weight recently, what's the matter, didn't Ouyang Jin take good care of you?"

Sitting opposite to Juanyu, the café always plays some light music that makes people feel soothing and happy, and I feel very satisfied, relaxed and comfortable at this time.

"No, have you lost weight?" I touched my face, "Maybe it's a little." ”

"Isn't there a lot of worry and pressure lately?" Zhuo Yu paused at this point, looked at me, and then continued, "I have heard about your company's affairs, you don't have to worry too much, the difficulties will always pass." ”

"What if we can't get by?" I couldn't think of any good way to help my dad, so I kept thinking about it. But looking at Zhuoyu, I think that since we came out to chat together, it is better not to talk about such unhappy things.

"By the way, how are you and Jiang Xin now, what happened that day didn't affect you, right?" I remembered that I came to look for Juanyu that day, and Jiang Xin also came, and she quarreled with Juanyu about it.

"It's okay, we're fine, she was ignorant that day, and later asked me to help her apologize to you. You don't have to take it personally, it's really fine. ”

"Oh, you're fine," I was relieved. I can see that Jiang Xin really likes Lianyu, I just hope that the two of them can last a long time, "Then let's go out for a meal together one day, it can be regarded as reconciliation." ”

"Hmm." Zhuo Yu nodded, noncommittal.

"Hey, by the way, what are you looking for me for?"

"Oh, there's nothing important, just thinking about the cold weather, I don't know how the year is going to end so quickly, I feel a little touched, so I want to pull you to sigh together."

When I heard him say this, I remembered that last year, when it was almost this season, it always rained a lot, so on rainy days, we would not go out in bed, on the sofa, watch movies, sleep, chat, eat snacks, and sometimes watch food shows on a whim and then follow along. Thinking about that time, it felt comfortable and warm.

But look at the present, the flowers are similar every year, and the people are different every year.

"Juanyu," I want to find a topic, I don't want to continue this topic that is a little sad for me, "I ask you something, I hope you can answer me truthfully, okay?" ”

When I think about last year, I think of the child I was supposed to have born this summer. It was the sweetness of that time that made me pregnant with a child, but unfortunately I didn't have the ability to keep him.

"What's the matter, you ask." Juanyu felt my seriousness, so he was also very serious and ready to listen.

At that time, when I was in the hospital, "I actually didn't want to force myself to think about that day, I felt too cruel, not only for me, but also for Lianyu, "Why don't you save the child as much as possible, it should be able to be saved, right?" ”

As soon as I finished speaking, Zhuo Yu's face changed, and his face instantly turned pale, sad, and painful. He looked at me and tried to squeeze a smile out of his face, but it didn't work, so I saw that he just wanted to laugh, but ended up visibly crying and bowing his head.

"Xingzhu, why are you asking this?"

His voice was small as if it had never been uttered, weak, and there was no trace of the momentum that a question sentence should have.

"I wondered, I wanted to know what happened that day," I had been wondering why there had never been news of my pregnancy after having sex without any contraception.

"Why did I end up with nothing, the children were gone, and my fertility was gone. Why are you hiding this from me, and since I don't get anything, why don't you try to save the child? ”

Maybe I wouldn't have used both at that time, and I wouldn't have gotten both.

The loss of my first child, along with the loss of my fertility, my uterus was damaged due to a miscarriage, and I may not be able to get pregnant again in my life.

In fact, after following Ouyang Jin, I was still afraid of getting pregnant easily, so I secretly took birth control pills at first, but later found out that after stopping the pills, my menstruation still came on time every month like an alarm clock, until I went to the hospital for a check-up some time ago, I didn't know that it was my own problem.

"How can you hide this from me? Even if I let me know, what can I do, I'm afraid I'm going to die or live? ”

Juanyu was at a loss in front of me at the moment, as if he had done something wrong.

"Xingzhu, the situation was very critical at that time, if there was a little hope and a turnaround, we would not ignore the child." Juanyu held my hand, this is the first time the two of us talked about it after that incident, before I was afraid to face and remember, but now after talking about it, I found that after so long, I am still afraid to face and remember.

"Tell me what it was!"

I wanted to know what it was like at that time, how my life, my everything, slowly disappeared and slowly shattered.

"The child has been suffocated because of the bump, after using the inducing medicine because the fetus is too big to deliver, after waiting for a long time to give birth, your uterus was greatly injured, bleeding profusely, and then the bleeding stopped, but the test results said that it is difficult to get pregnant again after the uterine injury is serious. We're afraid that you won't talk about it anymore, that's all. I'm to blame for everything, and I'm the one who ruined our family. ”

Juanyu must have suffered no less than me, but I have a lot of resentment and anger at this time.

"Why didn't you say it earlier, why didn't you cherish it, why did you have to go to some loan sharks without listening to my advice in the first place, if you didn't do this, would you be used and designed by others?"

In fact, I deeply know that it doesn't make sense for me to say that he scolds him like this, but there is a grievance in my heart that forces me to shout out my resentment and sweat, so that I can feel better.

Juanyu didn't speak, just let me scold and complain, and I had no strength in the end.

"Zhuoyu, I'm really sad." Sadness and sadness tortured me to the point of no strength, and I curled up in my seat, muttering to myself.

"Zhuoyu, how am I going to live in the future, I can't have any more children in the future."

In fact, Ouyang Jin and I are very stable in our current state, and when we are stable, we naturally think about whether we want to get married or something, and since we are married, we will definitely consider the matter of our children. However, I don't know what kind of life we will face in the future.

I cried, knowing that I couldn't blame Zhuoyu for this, but I still couldn't help but hurt each other. I shook Zhuoyu's hand, hugged his hands and cried loudly.

For myself, for me and the child of Lianyu, and for my future life.

"Xingzhu, don't you be like this, we must have a way, we will definitely cure it."

Later, Ouyang Jin came to pick me up.

I was still crying when Ouyang Jin came, and the whole café was watching us. When I passed by Zhuoyu's side, I looked at Zhuoyu, his eyes were sad, affectionate and melancholy, I looked at him from top to bottom, and his whole person was sad.

"Zhuoyu, I'm sorry, I didn't really want to blame you, I just didn't know what to say."

"I know, don't think about anything, go back and get some sleep, and wake up with nothing to do, you know?" Juanyu stroked my hair, his tone was loving, and his movements were gentle.

"Ouyang Jin, take good care of her."

"I will."

I listened to the two of them say goodbye, was held tightly by Ouyang Jin's hand, and was tightly wrapped by him and went out, got in the car, and went home.

"Ouyang Jin, I want to have a child, I want to get better."