[Bored Commentary] - "Nine Heavenly Emperors"

Author: Bored Push Books

Title: The Emperor of the Nine Heavens

Category: Oriental Fantasy

Author: Sanshui

Read: As of Volume IV, Chapter 1

Grade: B-

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title

"Nine Heavenly Emperors", the title of the book belongs to the category that can't attract me, but it can't be said to be wrong, for readers who haven't been exposed to too many novels, the most important thing is to be straightforward and majestic enough. In fact, the title of the book does not matter, if the content of the novel is attractive enough, even if the title of the book is unknown, the reader will hypnotize himself: the author must have a deep meaning. When a newcomer writes a book, unless he is extremely confident in himself, it is better to have a vulgar title, and it is not too late to play the depth of the next book when the popularity gathers. Therefore, it can't be said that it was taken wrong, although I probably won't click on it, this is a problem of aesthetic fatigue, and it is also a personal problem, and the author does not have to dwell on it.

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Male lead

"Huh, more than one hundred and ten years, it turns out that I have been trapped here for ten years......" The strange-clothed young man sighed gloomily, he stood with his hands in his hands, looking at the chaos all around, his expression was extremely lonely. —Volume I, Chapter 6

Master? Expect...

"I was expelled from my homeland and imprisoned here for another hundred years." The strange-clothed boy raised his head, his face full of light, and only a trace of coldness remained. A pair of eyes contain depth and vicissitudes, and they look at the vulture ancestor from afar. —Volume I, Chapter 7

Have a background? Expect...

This time, Fang Xing understood a lot of things, which made him can't help but show the vicissitudes of life, pacing and pondering: "I was originally just an otaku on the earth who ate and waited for death, and I don't know why I was favored by heaven, and my soul actually crossed over here after death." "But I don't want to be resisted by this heaven and earth because my soul is from an outer land, and I am trapped in a bloodline inheritance for more than one hundred and ten years." —Volume I, Chapter 8

Disillusionment...

For an otaku, no matter how cluttered his room is, it is a sacred beauty that cannot be offended by others. If someone suddenly kindly takes care of the house for him, the otaku will not only not appreciate it, but will be full of complaints because he has lost the inertia of his past life. —Volume I, Chapter 9

Disillusionment continues...

"Could it be that the result of drunken dreams for 100 years is that it is impossible to live in a humble room and eat pickled vegetables and steamed buns?" Fang Xing was unwilling in his heart, as soon as he thought of the various conflicts he had with Fang Wu before, and then thought of Fang Wu's power in the family and his favor in front of Dalang Fang Chuanwu, he couldn't help but give birth to a kind of anger caused by uneasiness and unwillingness. The mentality of the newborn calf not afraid of tigers in the original body has also turned into a kind of self-examination and reflection. What an idiot I was for the first half of my life! Why bother to tear your face with this kind of person in the first place! …… Moderate patience is more protective of oneself. Fang Xing's soul was trapped for a hundred years, but it made him realize this truth. —Volume II, Chapter 1

Disillusionment continues... If you live for hundreds of years and realize this truth, it is better to keep it for tens of thousands of years...

This is a mistake that many people make. The character's personality, words and deeds, and overall image are so different from the original identity background that it makes people feel childish and ridiculous. If you have to make the protagonist a person who "has depth and vicissitudes in his eyes", he must be careful in the setting of the background, and words such as "house" must never appear. If you have to set the protagonist as an "otaku", then the process and reasons for evolving from "otaku" to "vicissitudes" cannot be sloppy, let alone omitted. There is no doubt that this is a completely thankless project, and the best thing to do is to set a reasonable "unusual" identity background that you can control, if the killing of the Quartet is the fate of the protagonist after crossing, even if it is just a butcher's identity, it is much more reasonable than that of an ordinary college student, not to mention the "otaku".

The author may think that "the soul is trapped for a hundred years" is enough to become a precondition for "the eyes contain depth and vicissitudes". The answer, of course, is: no. The protagonist is just unconsciously trapped in his soul for more than a hundred years, not after more than a hundred years of life experience, even if he has been reincarnated many times, but if there is no memory left, it is meaningless, not to mention that the protagonist's words and deeds are alive and well in the future, he is an ignorant teenager, and he can't see the traces of time at all, and it is 108,000 miles away from "the depth and vicissitudes of life contained in his eyes".

Oriental fantasy, especially the cultivation of truth, tends to lengthen people's ages, and even to an extremely exaggerated point. As a result, those who do not have enough pen power and a superficial understanding of time often write about some freaks who claim to have lived for hundreds of years, thousands of years, or even tens of thousands of years, but their words and deeds are naïve. Multi-person cloud: The solution is to accumulate life experience. This is nonsense, and if you say it, you don't say it. Can far water save near fire? How much life experience do you think you can fill in one, two, three, four, five at random on a game console? This is a kind of putting the cart before the horse, someone has rich experience and writes solidly to write the best that captures people's hearts, this is his capital, the accumulation of time, others can not envy it, the time has not come is not the time has not come, and it cannot be forced.

It's not what you're good at, so it's better to avoid it outright. Minimizing the appearance of certain emotional words is a way to refer to, especially not to let the protagonist's emotions have too many ups and downs, and the expression of personality and emotions is always better than childishness.

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heroine

The image of the heroine is not as pleasing as the author imagined. In terms of strategy, I personally think that the novel made a big mistake and used the divorce before the heroine appeared.

Fang Chuanwu looked at Fang Xing's slightly flushed face, and said secretly: "Looking at San Lang's appearance, my aunt shouldn't have told him about this yet." Hmph, San Lang's reputation was not obvious before, and the Yang family wanted to regret their relatives, if they knew that San Lang had really moved, I am afraid that their intestines would be green with regret. ”

Readers read online articles, in general, have a strong tendency to be "preconceived". Since Dou Po was born, the divorce bridge has sprung up like mushrooms after a rain, and the scolding is endless. The pioneers are geniuses, the first followers are talents, the middle joiners are mediocre, and the people who come after are already stupid. Of course, it must be pointed out that the divorce section of this novel is not very different from the general divorce stream in terms of application. The so-called divorce plot is actually a deliberate teasing of the reader, the role is to provoke the reader's sense of humiliation first, and when the reader's negative emotions are teased to a certain height, the protagonist's character is suddenly arranged to explode and the plot reversal will step on the NPCs who despised the protagonist in the past one by one, so as to create a so-called climax point for the reader.

There is no emphasis in the novel to incite the reader's negative feelings about the divorce plot, but only as an introduction to bring out the heroine. There are two problems. First, although the divorce stream is vulgar, it does have its own unique place in the effect of incitement, and it is better not to use it if it is unintentional to incite or intentionally incites but only stops at the point. Second, if you look at those divorce streams, you will know that as a party to the divorce, including the ex-fiancée, must play the fate of being trampled on by the protagonist. Divorce is a negative plot, and the divorce party is emotionally hostile to the protagonist in the reader, and arranging for the heroine to appear in this environment is tantamount to asking her to sleep on the cesspool to show her charm and tempt the reader. Even if the novel doesn't mention the heroine's role in the decision to divorce, the reader will still connect the two. The heroine has not appeared yet, and the perception has been discounted.

And then in the second chapter of the second volume, the heroine officially appears, and a second, deeper mistake appears, and it is a triple mistake.

At this time, the old man in brocade suddenly interjected: "There is a saying, the old man has always hidden it in his heart, and I want to take the opportunity to say it to the girl today." These words seemed to be a bit unexpected by the woman in red, and after she heard this, she blinked in surprise, "Zhang Lao can say it if he has something to say, so solemn that the little woman can't bear it." ”

The old man in brocade got permission, and he didn't make any concessions, touched the snow-white long beard under his chin, and said unceremoniously in a deep voice: "The ancients said that a promise is a thousand gold. According to the old man, since the girl's ancestor and the Fang family are married, they are doll relatives who have had a marriage contract. Then if you regret it now, you will lose your trust! It is also right for the Fang family to come to provoke! Although Mingyue Tower is quite important in the girl's heart, even if there is an injury, the girl should also be mentally prepared! ”

This passage was said without any concealment, the words were sharp, and the spearhead was pointed at it, which made the maid Hexiang standing aside break into a cold sweat, and she saw that the smile on her young lady's face was like the sparkling waves in the water mirror, blurred and unpredictable, and her heart was frightened.

The air in the small building seemed to be cold. was so mercilessly accused by the old man, the woman in red lowered her head, so that people could not see the look on her face, and after a long time, she said slowly: "Is it success or regret?" That's all the idea of the elders in the family. If the family says that it refers to marriage, then it refers to marriage; If the family says that they regret their relatives, they will regret their relatives; The little woman is just a woman, what can she say? I can only accept my fate. ”

After lowering her head and whispering these long-hidden thoughts, she suddenly raised her head again, and layers of imperceptible mist also appeared in her eyes, which were charming and confused.

"I don't like the ruthlessness and trustlessness at home, but ......"

"However, Su Jin doesn't like her husband to be a wreck!"

and Book II, Chapter 13

With guilt, Father Su looked at the daughter in front of him seriously, and said: "Okay, okay, if you really don't want to marry Liu Mingyang, the old man, the father will naturally make the decision for you, even if you fight this old face, you have to make the decision for you!" But you tell your father clearly, what do you think about your daughter? When the clan elder mentioned to you about repentance with the Fang family, didn't you have no objection? Why did you change your mind again this time? ”

Su Jindai raised her eyebrows lightly, and said with a little sarcasm: "The clan elders have all gone to the Fang family to regret their relatives, and then they went back and worked hard to tell the little girl, my daughter just has something to say, but who will listen to it?" ”

This process of "divorce-questioning-justification" is not to mention being used twice in a row, even if it is only used once, it is quite unfavorable to the image of the heroine.

The first mistake, "Explanation after the fact", to give an example that is a little similar, Chapter 208 of the third volume of "The Legend of Mortal Cultivation of Immortals", the protagonist Han Li inadvertently seized the virginity of Nangong beauty, although he was immediately stamped by the beauty after waking up, but it seems to leave endless reverie, wait until Chapter 711 of the fifth volume The two meet again, even if the hookup is successful, it is still a big shake, as for why it is disappointing, go and look at these two chapters.

The second mistake is the content of the justification. When the word "repentance" appears, the role of the fiancée in it is unknown, even if the author indicates at the end of the chapter that this is the heroine, but it is not helpful to create a positive image of her. Beauty loves heroes, the truth is true, the problem lies in the timing of interpretation. If the protagonist is very good from the beginning, the sentence that the beauty doesn't like to waste will definitely have a positive effect on the image of the protagonist and the pleasure of the reader, if it is the opposite, then this sentence is quite a cup. Although there are no surprises in China, maybe some men watch "No Car, No House, Golden Leftover Women's Version" and think it is natural and happy, the women in the video are innocent and charming, and marrying a wife should be so, but I believe that this is a minority after all, and there are not so many big money in mixed online texts after all.

The third mistake, in the thirteenth chapter of the second volume, the process of "questioning-justifying" is reproduced, not only that, but the original intention is to further beautify the heroine, and it is abruptly arranged for the heroine to "pour love" to confess, but it has the opposite effect. Dissecting at the wrong time often results in a very good way. Purely personal perception, as of the first chapter of the third volume, every word of the heroine is scandalizing herself.

Having said that, even the grandmaster of the generation of divorce stream Dou Po had to help her clear his name almost every time he arranged for his ex-fiancée to appear, but he still didn't dare to let her enter the harem until now, which shows that the reader's resentment against the divorce is so strong and long-standing.

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Levels of strength

The power setting is too messy. Qi refining the Nine Heavens, that is, the Nine Realms, as for the other meanings that repeat the "Nine Grades", "Grandmaster Title", and "True Spiritual Immortality", they are of little value, and they will cause reading difficulties. In addition, the division of various realms is too thin and vague in the description of the novel, and lacks distinctive characteristics. If the texture of each realm can be properly strengthened, the readability of the novel will be improved accordingly. For specific operations, there are many novels that can be referenced. Of course, referencing is a kind of technical work, and you can't be careless, and if you're not careful, you'll be doomed. There are many novels, especially the novels of the great gods, the shortcomings are obvious, the reason why they become gods, is because the highlights cover the shortcomings, a leaf blinds, many newcomer writers copy the west, the highlights do not copy the shortcomings, and the result is completely empty.

Take "Eternal Life" as an example, there are not many things that can be seen, even fewer can be referenced, and there are many traps, but because the sword is on the wrong side, it is easy to use it as a demonstration example, so I will take it as an example.

Physical realm: It is divided into ten levels, one health, two exercises, three moves, four rigidity and softness, five divine powers, six breaths, seven inner strength, eight divine bravery, nine psychic, and ten divine changes.

Divine Realm: One mana, two true qi, three gang qi, four yin and yang, five heavenly people, six to one, seven golden pills, eight wind and fire tribulations, nine heaven and earth law phases, ten against the sky to change life.

Just a few dozen words, concise and powerful, seemingly simple, but most writers can't take this crucial step, and can show the highlights in the most basic setting, not that the gods can't do it, uh, to be precise, all that can be done become the gods.

Once you have set a rough boundary division, the next step is to find a "focus". There is no "focus" in the physical realm, and the role is to set off the supernatural realm, so to speak, the supernatural realm is the "focus" of the physical realm. The supernatural realm is divided into ten, the focus is on "Jindan", and the uniqueness and importance of "Jindan" are emphasized many times in the novel, and the only appearance of the disciples of Jindan in Taiyi Sect in Chapter 140 is the first step.

"In this matter, we must first capture the demon marshal, and then ask him to understand everything. If it was really him who killed the three junior disciples of our Taiyi Sect, then he would not be able to escape death, and he would not be able to save him! If he didn't kill him, someone else would have blamed him. Then it's time to get to the bottom of it! Find out! ”

This pompous "only senior brother" spoke slowly, but every word had a shocking magic, as if what came out of his mouth was the truth.

It should be noted here that Ying Xiantian is the Emperor of the Demon Gate, which is the so-called immortal realm, and this realm is just a vague concept at this time, anyway, it vaguely represents the cap of the power level. Of course, fools know that in order to make money, the immortal realm god horse is destined to be floating clouds, this is a digression, don't talk about it. Similarly, at this time, it is completely unknown what kind of realm the only master is, but from the above sentence, we can speculate like this (in fact, it is the author's guidance): the only one seems to be not far from the immortal realm that represents the pole, and has the qualifications to challenge.

There are ten levels of supernatural powers and five levels of heaven and human realms, which are real people, respected by monks, protected and treated preferentially by sects, and on an equal footing with elders.

And once you go through the condensation of the sixth level, the realm of oneness, all kinds of supernatural powers, into one, ten thousand laws into one, and finally practice into a supernatural seed, the Great Golden Pill, to reach the seventh realm. Not only will the longevity increase again, but the strength will increase greatly, becoming the most core existence in the sect, and it is also a candidate who may step into the secret realm of immortality!

The secret realm of immortality, with a longevity of 10,000 years, can be described as a real long live long live long live, long live, is an ancient giant, crisscrossing all worlds, taking the void. And the realm of the seventh golden pill of the supernatural secret realm is equivalent to the prince in the world, and he is the prince.

Even if the Taiyi family has a great cause and many masters, for the disciples who have cultivated to the realm of the Divine Power Seed Great Golden Pill, they will be given a "one" in their name, which means that they are prominent. - Chapter 144 Sevenfold Golden Pill

In the one hundred and forty-fourth chapter, from the title to the text, it is all for the purpose of serving this sentence: "The Sevenfold Golden Pill is a very good existence in the Divine Power Secret Realm." As a result, the texture of this realm was finally established: the secret realm of immortality was long live, and the sevenfold golden pill was the crown prince. As a result, the key objectives are further established, and the reader can expect the pleasure that the protagonist gets after completing the indicators.

This is the end of the reference mode of the positive textbook, and if you continue to refer to it, you will fall into the trap directly, because the following is the stage of the negative textbook. Dreaming of the divine machine has a strong tendency to "self-destruct", this must not be learned, this is the prerogative of the great god. Belch...... Further details, this trial reading will not be completed tonight and will be off topic, so stop here.

Returning to the first chapter of the fourth volume of the novel reviewed, a character who has the ambition to help the world but seems destined to be hostile to the protagonist and seems to indirectly achieve the protagonist at the beginning appears, and the power level is theoretically high, and this power level is not the first time, probably the second time, but there is still no texture in the senses.

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foreshadowing

The protagonist has problems with his memory of his fiancée.

"Besides, listening to Fang Laifu's tone, this Su girl of the Yang family still has a deep relationship with Mingyuelou, but if it is a woman of the Yang family, why is she not surnamed Yang but surnamed Su? If you have something to do with me, why don't I remember this person? Could it be that there is something inappropriate after the souls of the two worlds are merged into one? Damn, it has a terrible headache! ”

For a while, Fang Xing's mind was full of thoughts. And I don't know why, Fang Xing's head began to hurt since he heard the name Miss Su. Now all kinds of thoughts are in my head, and I am disturbed, and my head hurts more and more. —Volume II, Chapter 1

To this day, he still has no memory of Miss Su!

"Why don't I remember my fiancée?" Fang Xing's eyebrows furrowed, and his forehead was deeply locked. —Volume II, Chapter 15

It doesn't feel like it makes much sense. From the second chapter of the second volume, it can be known that the heroine does not know the protagonist, and the protagonist's memory of his fiancée seems to be a little idle to talk about.

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bright spot

The young Fang Xing had no chance to practice qi refining and was depressed. An adventure, a female corpse in the water, awakened the soul of his traverser, and since then embarked on the path of immortality to become the Supreme Heavenly Emperor. - Introduction

The synopsis says that the female corpse in the water awakens the protagonist? Interesting!

I saw that the corpse was facing the sky on its back, floating quietly on the water, and the black hair of the shawl floated up, covering the face, I don't know what it looked like. But look at the slender figure of the floating corpse, wearing a red silk jacket, and a five-piece skirt on the lower body, this dress is obviously the maid in the family yard! ．．．．．． Fang Xing estimated that he was going home at the right time, just in time to catch up with Zhu'er to wash rice and cook. Zhu'er is the maid sent by Fang's family to Fang Xing's house, but at the age of 14, although she is clumsy, she is better than being delicate and sweet, and her behavior is simple and cute, and she is very favored by Fang's mother. —Volume I, Chapter 3

When I read the third chapter, the female corpse appeared, who was the murderer? Who are the victims? Suspense!

Just this glance, just the moment he stared at it, there was a loud "buzzing" sound in Fang Xing's mind, as if a big bell was ringing. "The silver flute and red velvet thread, the one on the head of the female corpse in the water, isn't it the gift I gave to Zhu'er last time?" ．．．．．． At this time, he faintly heard a woman crying sadly, and whispered in his ear as if sticky/greasy: "Young master, my good young master." Woo, he beat me and tore my clothes......""...... Young master, my good young master, do you think my body is beautiful? The whisper in his ear aroused Fang Xing's bestiality, and a raging anger spread in his chest. Could it be that that bastard of Dalang has hit me with all his ideas? "What a big bold! He dares to touch even my woman? The more I looked at it, the more it looked, there seemed to be dark waves floating on the water, teasing Fang Xing's consciousness layer by layer. —Volume I, Chapter 4

Shenma!? The identity of the female corpse turned out to be the woman of the protagonist!? The author dared to commit the most important one of the Ten Commandments of the Internet at the beginning!? ．．．．．．．

Looking at it again, the water surface has returned to its former calmness, but the corpses of Fang Xing and the female corpse that were still here just now have disappeared without a trace. "Boy, my ancestor has been waiting for you for a long time!" In the midst of his sleep, there seemed to be a strange person laughing wildly. —Volume I, Chapter 4

Whew~ It turned out to be a distressed villain in the design. I thought that a new generation of strong people against the sky was finally going to appear...

Twists and turns, "suspense - violation of the ban - lifting the ban", this routine is actually very good, you might as well use more. For example, the shaping of the heroine, if you follow this routine......

1. The Yang family sent someone to propose to repent of the marriage

Second, when the actor first heard about it, it was a bolt from the blue, and the reader's mood began to rise

Then, at this moment, a sentence came to my ear: "I don't want to!" ”

Fourth, it turned out to be the heroine!

Personally, I think this is far better than "divorce - questioning - justification". This is just an example and no modification is recommended.

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Reflections

Unconsciously, it seems that there are many more written than I imagined, well, some novels are not reviewed, and this novel is at least at the level where people are willing to spend time writing reviews, and there seems to be no lack of room for growth......

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Random grading

S+

Physical book collections (desperately desired) --- the dust of history

S-

Physical book collection--- Fengzi Story, Hearst disciple, the best family, Zhu Xian, the essence of the ......

A+

Definitely subscribe to --- Stealth ......

A-

It's worth subscribing to --- Legend of Mortal Cultivators, Katu ......

B+

It is possible to subscribe to --- Savage Throne......

B-

Look at piracy

C+

Piracy is also too lazy to look at

C-

I don't look at the money when I post it upside down

D

Don't want to die

From: Dragon's Sky

Original: http:///forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=391565&bid=227&extra=page%3D1

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title

"Nine Heavenly Emperors", the title of the book belongs to the category that can't attract me, but it can't be said to be wrong, for readers who haven't been exposed to too many novels, the most important thing is to be straightforward and majestic enough. In fact, the title of the book does not matter, if the content of the novel is attractive enough, even if the title of the book is unknown, the reader will hypnotize himself: the author must have a deep meaning. When a newcomer writes a book, unless he is extremely confident in himself, it is better to have a vulgar title, and it is not too late to play the depth of the next book when the popularity gathers. Therefore, it can't be said that it was taken wrong, although I probably won't click on it, this is a problem of aesthetic fatigue, and it is also a personal problem, and the author does not have to dwell on it.

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Male lead

"Huh, more than one hundred and ten years, it turns out that I have been trapped here for ten years......" The strange-clothed young man sighed gloomily, he stood with his hands in his hands, looking at the chaos all around, his expression was extremely lonely. —Volume I, Chapter 6

Master? Expect...

"I was expelled from my homeland and imprisoned here for another hundred years." The strange-clothed boy raised his head, his face full of light, and only a trace of coldness remained. A pair of eyes contain depth and vicissitudes, and they look at the vulture ancestor from afar. —Volume I, Chapter 7

Have a background? Expect...

This time, Fang Xing understood a lot of things, which made him can't help but show the vicissitudes of life, pacing and pondering: "I was originally just an otaku on the earth who ate and waited for death, and I don't know why I was favored by heaven, and my soul actually crossed over here after death." "But I don't want to be resisted by this heaven and earth because my soul is from an outer land, and I am trapped in a bloodline inheritance for more than one hundred and ten years." —Volume I, Chapter 8

Disillusionment...

For an otaku, no matter how cluttered his room is, it is a sacred beauty that cannot be offended by others. If someone suddenly kindly takes care of the house for him, the otaku will not only not appreciate it, but will be full of complaints because he has lost the inertia of his past life. —Volume I, Chapter 9

Disillusionment continues...

"Could it be that the result of drunken dreams for 100 years is that it is impossible to live in a humble room and eat pickled vegetables and steamed buns?" Fang Xing was unwilling in his heart, as soon as he thought of the various conflicts he had with Fang Wu before, and then thought of Fang Wu's power in the family and his favor in front of Dalang Fang Chuanwu, he couldn't help but give birth to a kind of anger caused by uneasiness and unwillingness. The mentality of the newborn calf not afraid of tigers in the original body has also turned into a kind of self-examination and reflection. What an idiot I was for the first half of my life! Why bother to tear your face with this kind of person in the first place! …… Moderate patience is more protective of oneself. Fang Xing's soul was trapped for a hundred years, but it made him realize this truth. —Volume II, Chapter 1

Disillusionment continues... If you live for hundreds of years and realize this truth, it is better to keep it for tens of thousands of years...

This is a mistake that many people make. The character's personality, words and deeds, and overall image are so different from the original identity background that it makes people feel childish and ridiculous. If you have to make the protagonist a person who "has depth and vicissitudes in his eyes", he must be careful in the setting of the background, and words such as "house" must never appear. If you have to set the protagonist as an "otaku", then the process and reasons for evolving from "otaku" to "vicissitudes" cannot be sloppy, let alone omitted. There is no doubt that this is a completely thankless project, and the best thing to do is to set a reasonable "unusual" identity background that you can control, if the killing of the Quartet is the fate of the protagonist after crossing, even if it is just a butcher's identity, it is much more reasonable than that of an ordinary college student, not to mention the "otaku".

The author may think that "the soul is trapped for a hundred years" is enough to become a precondition for "the eyes contain depth and vicissitudes". The answer, of course, is: no. The protagonist is just unconsciously trapped in his soul for more than a hundred years, not after more than a hundred years of life experience, even if he has been reincarnated many times, but if there is no memory left, it is meaningless, not to mention that the protagonist's words and deeds are alive and well in the future, he is an ignorant teenager, and he can't see the traces of time at all, and it is 108,000 miles away from "the depth and vicissitudes of life contained in his eyes".

Oriental fantasy, especially the cultivation of truth, tends to lengthen people's ages, and even to an extremely exaggerated point. As a result, those who do not have enough pen power and a superficial understanding of time often write about some freaks who claim to have lived for hundreds of years, thousands of years, or even tens of thousands of years, but their words and deeds are naïve. Multi-person cloud: The solution is to accumulate life experience. This is nonsense, and if you say it, you don't say it. Can far water save near fire? How much life experience do you think you can fill in one, two, three, four, five at random on a game console? This is a kind of putting the cart before the horse, someone has rich experience and writes solidly to write the best that captures people's hearts, this is his capital, the accumulation of time, others can not envy it, the time has not come is not the time has not come, and it cannot be forced.

It's not what you're good at, so it's better to avoid it outright. Minimizing the appearance of certain emotional words is a way to refer to, especially not to let the protagonist's emotions have too many ups and downs, and the expression of personality and emotions is always better than childishness.

————————————————————————————————————————————

heroine

The image of the heroine is not as pleasing as the author imagined. In terms of strategy, I personally think that the novel made a big mistake and used the divorce before the heroine appeared.

Fang Chuanwu looked at Fang Xing's slightly flushed face, and said secretly: "Looking at San Lang's appearance, my aunt shouldn't have told him about this yet." Hmph, San Lang's reputation was not obvious before, and the Yang family wanted to regret their relatives, if they knew that San Lang had really moved, I am afraid that their intestines would be green with regret. ”

Readers read online articles, in general, have a strong tendency to be "preconceived". Since Dou Po was born, the divorce bridge has sprung up like mushrooms after a rain, and the scolding is endless. The pioneers are geniuses, the first followers are talents, the middle joiners are mediocre, and the people who come after are already stupid. Of course, it must be pointed out that the divorce section of this novel is not very different from the general divorce stream in terms of application. The so-called divorce plot is actually a deliberate teasing of the reader, the role is to provoke the reader's sense of humiliation first, and when the reader's negative emotions are teased to a certain height, the protagonist's character is suddenly arranged to explode and the plot reversal will step on the NPCs who despised the protagonist in the past one by one, so as to create a so-called climax point for the reader.

There is no emphasis in the novel to incite the reader's negative feelings about the divorce plot, but only as an introduction to bring out the heroine. There are two problems. First, although the divorce stream is vulgar, it does have its own unique place in the effect of incitement, and it is better not to use it if it is unintentional to incite or intentionally incites but only stops at the point. Second, if you look at those divorce streams, you will know that as a party to the divorce, including the ex-fiancée, must play the fate of being trampled on by the protagonist. Divorce is a negative plot, and the divorce party is emotionally hostile to the protagonist in the reader, and arranging for the heroine to appear in this environment is tantamount to asking her to sleep on the cesspool to show her charm and tempt the reader. Even if the novel doesn't mention the heroine's role in the decision to divorce, the reader will still connect the two. The heroine has not appeared yet, and the perception has been discounted.

And then in the second chapter of the second volume, the heroine officially appears, and a second, deeper mistake appears, and it is a triple mistake.

At this time, the old man in brocade suddenly interjected: "There is a saying, the old man has always hidden it in his heart, and I want to take the opportunity to say it to the girl today." These words seemed to be a bit unexpected by the woman in red, and after she heard this, she blinked in surprise, "Zhang Lao can say it if he has something to say, so solemn that the little woman can't bear it." ”

The old man in brocade got permission, and he didn't make any concessions, touched the snow-white long beard under his chin, and said unceremoniously in a deep voice: "The ancients said that a promise is a thousand gold. According to the old man, since the girl's ancestor and the Fang family are married, they are doll relatives who have had a marriage contract. Then if you regret it now, you will lose your trust! It is also right for the Fang family to come to provoke! Although Mingyue Tower is quite important in the girl's heart, even if there is an injury, the girl should also be mentally prepared! ”

This passage was said without any concealment, the words were sharp, and the spearhead was pointed at it, which made the maid Hexiang standing aside break into a cold sweat, and she saw that the smile on her young lady's face was like the sparkling waves in the water mirror, blurred and unpredictable, and her heart was frightened.

The air in the small building seemed to be cold. was so mercilessly accused by the old man, the woman in red lowered her head, so that people could not see the look on her face, and after a long time, she said slowly: "Is it success or regret?" That's all the idea of the elders in the family. If the family says that it refers to marriage, then it refers to marriage; If the family says that they regret their relatives, they will regret their relatives; The little woman is just a woman, what can she say? I can only accept my fate. ”

After lowering her head and whispering these long-hidden thoughts, she suddenly raised her head again, and layers of imperceptible mist also appeared in her eyes, which were charming and confused.

"I don't like the ruthlessness and trustlessness at home, but ......"

"However, Su Jin doesn't like her husband to be a wreck!"

and Book II, Chapter 13

With guilt, Father Su looked at the daughter in front of him seriously, and said: "Okay, okay, if you really don't want to marry Liu Mingyang, the old man, the father will naturally make the decision for you, even if you fight this old face, you have to make the decision for you!" But you tell your father clearly, what do you think about your daughter? When the clan elder mentioned to you about repentance with the Fang family, didn't you have no objection? Why did you change your mind again this time? ”

Su Jindai raised her eyebrows lightly, and said with a little sarcasm: "The clan elders have all gone to the Fang family to regret their relatives, and then they went back and worked hard to tell the little girl, my daughter just has something to say, but who will listen to it?" ”

This process of "divorce-questioning-justification" is not to mention being used twice in a row, even if it is only used once, it is quite unfavorable to the image of the heroine.

The first mistake, "Explanation after the fact", to give an example that is a little similar, Chapter 208 of the third volume of "The Legend of Mortal Cultivation of Immortals", the protagonist Han Li inadvertently seized the virginity of Nangong beauty, although he was immediately stamped by the beauty after waking up, but it seems to leave endless reverie, wait until Chapter 711 of the fifth volume The two meet again, even if the hookup is successful, it is still a big shake, as for why it is disappointing, go and look at these two chapters.

The second mistake is the content of the justification. When the word "repentance" appears, the role of the fiancée in it is unknown, even if the author indicates at the end of the chapter that this is the heroine, but it is not helpful to create a positive image of her. Beauty loves heroes, the truth is true, the problem lies in the timing of interpretation. If the protagonist is very good from the beginning, the sentence that the beauty doesn't like to waste will definitely have a positive effect on the image of the protagonist and the pleasure of the reader, if it is the opposite, then this sentence is quite a cup. Although there are no surprises in China, maybe some men watch "No Car, No House, Golden Leftover Women's Version" and think it is natural and happy, the women in the video are innocent and charming, and marrying a wife should be so, but I believe that this is a minority after all, and there are not so many big money in mixed online texts after all.

The third mistake, in the thirteenth chapter of the second volume, the process of "questioning-justifying" is reproduced, not only that, but the original intention is to further beautify the heroine, and it is abruptly arranged for the heroine to "pour love" to confess, but it has the opposite effect. Dissecting at the wrong time often results in a very good way. Purely personal perception, as of the first chapter of the third volume, every word of the heroine is scandalizing herself.

Having said that, even the grandmaster of the generation of divorce stream Dou Po had to help her clear his name almost every time he arranged for his ex-fiancée to appear, but he still didn't dare to let her enter the harem until now, which shows that the reader's resentment against the divorce is so strong and long-standing.

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Levels of strength

The power setting is too messy. Qi refining the Nine Heavens, that is, the Nine Realms, as for the other meanings that repeat the "Nine Grades", "Grandmaster Title", and "True Spiritual Immortality", they are of little value, and they will cause reading difficulties. In addition, the division of various realms is too thin and vague in the description of the novel, and lacks distinctive characteristics. If the texture of each realm can be properly strengthened, the readability of the novel will be improved accordingly. For specific operations, there are many novels that can be referenced. Of course, referencing is a kind of technical work, and you can't be careless, and if you're not careful, you'll be doomed. There are many novels, especially the novels of the great gods, the shortcomings are obvious, the reason why they become gods, is because the highlights cover the shortcomings, a leaf blinds, many newcomer writers copy the west, the highlights do not copy the shortcomings, and the result is completely empty.

Take "Eternal Life" as an example, there are not many things that can be seen, even fewer can be referenced, and there are many traps, but because the sword is on the wrong side, it is easy to use it as a demonstration example, so I will take it as an example.

Physical realm: It is divided into ten levels, one health, two exercises, three moves, four rigidity and softness, five divine powers, six breaths, seven inner strength, eight divine bravery, nine psychic, and ten divine changes.

Divine Realm: One mana, two true qi, three gang qi, four yin and yang, five heavenly people, six to one, seven golden pills, eight wind and fire tribulations, nine heaven and earth law phases, ten against the sky to change life.

Just a few dozen words, concise and powerful, seemingly simple, but most writers can't take this crucial step, and can show the highlights in the most basic setting, not that the gods can't do it, uh, to be precise, all that can be done become the gods.

Once you have set a rough boundary division, the next step is to find a "focus". There is no "focus" in the physical realm, and the role is to set off the supernatural realm, so to speak, the supernatural realm is the "focus" of the physical realm. The supernatural realm is divided into ten, the focus is on "Jindan", and the uniqueness and importance of "Jindan" are emphasized many times in the novel, and the only appearance of the disciples of Jindan in Taiyi Sect in Chapter 140 is the first step.

"In this matter, we must first capture the demon marshal, and then ask him to understand everything. If it was really him who killed the three junior disciples of our Taiyi Sect, then he would not be able to escape death, and he would not be able to save him! If he didn't kill him, someone else would have blamed him. Then it's time to get to the bottom of it! Find out! ”

This pompous "only senior brother" spoke slowly, but every word had a shocking magic, as if what came out of his mouth was the truth.

It should be noted here that Ying Xiantian is the Emperor of the Demon Gate, which is the so-called immortal realm, and this realm is just a vague concept at this time, anyway, it vaguely represents the cap of the power level. Of course, fools know that in order to make money, the immortal realm god horse is destined to be floating clouds, this is a digression, don't talk about it. Similarly, at this time, it is completely unknown what kind of realm the only master is, but from the above sentence, we can speculate like this (in fact, it is the author's guidance): the only one seems to be not far from the immortal realm that represents the pole, and has the qualifications to challenge.

There are ten levels of supernatural powers and five levels of heaven and human realms, which are real people, respected by monks, protected and treated preferentially by sects, and on an equal footing with elders.

And once you go through the condensation of the sixth level, the realm of oneness, all kinds of supernatural powers, into one, ten thousand laws into one, and finally practice into a supernatural seed, the Great Golden Pill, to reach the seventh realm. Not only will the longevity increase again, but the strength will increase greatly, becoming the most core existence in the sect, and it is also a candidate who may step into the secret realm of immortality!

The secret realm of immortality, with a longevity of 10,000 years, can be described as a real long live long live long live, long live, is an ancient giant, crisscrossing all worlds, taking the void. And the realm of the seventh golden pill of the supernatural secret realm is equivalent to the prince in the world, and he is the prince.

Even if the Taiyi family has a great cause and many masters, for the disciples who have cultivated to the realm of the Divine Power Seed Great Golden Pill, they will be given a "one" in their name, which means that they are prominent. - Chapter 144 Sevenfold Golden Pill

In the one hundred and forty-fourth chapter, from the title to the text, it is all for the purpose of serving this sentence: "The Sevenfold Golden Pill is a very good existence in the Divine Power Secret Realm." As a result, the texture of this realm was finally established: the secret realm of immortality was long live, and the sevenfold golden pill was the crown prince. As a result, the key objectives are further established, and the reader can expect the pleasure that the protagonist gets after completing the indicators.

This is the end of the reference mode of the positive textbook, and if you continue to refer to it, you will fall into the trap directly, because the following is the stage of the negative textbook. Dreaming of the divine machine has a strong tendency to "self-destruct", this must not be learned, this is the prerogative of the great god. Belch...... Further details, this trial reading will not be completed tonight and will be off topic, so stop here.

Returning to the first chapter of the fourth volume of the novel reviewed, a character who has the ambition to help the world but seems destined to be hostile to the protagonist and seems to indirectly achieve the protagonist at the beginning appears, and the power level is theoretically high, and this power level is not the first time, probably the second time, but there is still no texture in the senses.

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foreshadowing

The protagonist has problems with his memory of his fiancée.

"Besides, listening to Fang Laifu's tone, this Su girl of the Yang family still has a deep relationship with Mingyuelou, but if it is a woman of the Yang family, why is she not surnamed Yang but surnamed Su? If you have something to do with me, why don't I remember this person? Could it be that there is something inappropriate after the souls of the two worlds are merged into one? Damn, it has a terrible headache! ”

For a while, Fang Xing's mind was full of thoughts. And I don't know why, Fang Xing's head began to hurt since he heard the name Miss Su. Now all kinds of thoughts are in my head, and I am disturbed, and my head hurts more and more. —Volume II, Chapter 1

To this day, he still has no memory of Miss Su!

"Why don't I remember my fiancée?" Fang Xing's eyebrows furrowed, and his forehead was deeply locked. —Volume II, Chapter 15

It doesn't feel like it makes much sense. From the second chapter of the second volume, it can be known that the heroine does not know the protagonist, and the protagonist's memory of his fiancée seems to be a little idle to talk about.

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bright spot

The young Fang Xing had no chance to practice qi refining and was depressed. An adventure, a female corpse in the water, awakened the soul of his traverser, and since then embarked on the path of immortality to become the Supreme Heavenly Emperor. - Introduction

The synopsis says that the female corpse in the water awakens the protagonist? Interesting!

I saw that the corpse was facing the sky on its back, floating quietly on the water, and the black hair of the shawl floated up, covering the face, I don't know what it looked like. But look at the slender figure of the floating corpse, wearing a red silk jacket, and a five-piece skirt on the lower body, this dress is obviously the maid in the family yard! ．．．．．． Fang Xing estimated that he was going home at the right time, just in time to catch up with Zhu'er to wash rice and cook. Zhu'er is the maid sent by Fang's family to Fang Xing's house, but at the age of 14, although she is clumsy, she is better than being delicate and sweet, and her behavior is simple and cute, and she is very favored by Fang's mother. —Volume I, Chapter 3

When I read the third chapter, the female corpse appeared, who was the murderer? Who are the victims? Suspense!

Just this glance, just the moment he stared at it, there was a loud "buzzing" sound in Fang Xing's mind, as if a big bell was ringing. "The silver flute and red velvet thread, the one on the head of the female corpse in the water, isn't it the gift I gave to Zhu'er last time?" ．．．．．． At this time, he faintly heard a woman crying sadly, and whispered in his ear as if sticky/greasy: "Young master, my good young master." Woo, he beat me and tore my clothes......""...... Young master, my good young master, do you think my body is beautiful? The whisper in his ear aroused Fang Xing's bestiality, and a raging anger spread in his chest. Could it be that that bastard of Dalang has hit me with all his ideas? "What a big bold! He dares to touch even my woman? The more I looked at it, the more it looked, there seemed to be dark waves floating on the water, teasing Fang Xing's consciousness layer by layer. —Volume I, Chapter 4

Shenma!? The identity of the female corpse turned out to be the woman of the protagonist!? The author dared to commit the most important one of the Ten Commandments of the Internet at the beginning!? ．．．．．．．