Thoughts are surging like a tide, and tonight is another sleepless night.

I am more and more aware that I am actually just talking on paper, and I used to talk eloquently, freely, boldly, and what a strong man thinks. The words are one after the other, and in fact it's just some bad people and bad things that wear themselves out.

Mentally languishing, not languishing, but on the verge of pain and calm, and occasionally the scientific achievements make me happy.

Yes, today it seems that there is an opportunity to make the whole solar spectrum, and the intensity of red light has gone up, and it turns out that it is a problem with such a low level of doping concentration.

I don't dwell on these terrible things, the worst thing is not the people out there.

It's that I clearly know that objective things are like that, no one is bad without anything, and I am the only one in the world who is caught in the whirlpool of thoughts, constantly crawling out and slipping in. Is it that I want to "drill into it", people who have not experienced it will never be able to experience it, you go and rejoice, this trend of thought is spontaneous and uncontrollable, it will only fall on people like me.

My sobriety made me even more sad, I was just cocooning myself, Adler said that people can change at any time, which is a fallacy. If change is the result, it's easy to achieve, but after the change, you have to maintain it, I can't change back, I can't bear these things in my heart.

These worlds are sunny, and only what I think is a mess of gray and red and black.

If I don't delve into these things, I don't care what the objective is, I can't accept it subjectively, that is, I can't accept it.

I met a freshman on the horizontal bar, a native of Shanxi, and my roommates were all from Hebei, and I felt a sense of rejection as soon as I came.

"Do you know Yao Shen, and you're also a senior?"

On the first day I was pulling the horizontal bar, he asked.

I haven't seen you for a few days, but I see you again today, with a military training cap.

"How do you wear a military training uniform?" I asked

"I just finished military training and went to the library, and I came."

"To the library? What are you going to see in the library now? I asked

I haven't started my freshman year yet.

"I'm looking at the line generation, and I borrowed the book haha." He laughed.

"Oh—it's awesome, it's awesome—"

Children are showing off, but talents can't be suppressed, they don't blend into the collective, they become more and more charming, and it's better to go their own way than to go with the flow.

The internship takes 21 days, and it is said that it cannot be changed, but the internship unit has not signed yet, so I think it is flexible and allows everyone to give feedback. It's easy to talk about the girls, but on the boys' side, I think it's just troublesome.

I feel that the feedback is troublesome, and I also feel that 21 days is troublesome. I don't bother to give feedback, and I hate the results of the arrangement, and I think there is a better way, but when I really let these people go on stage to arrange.

Cowering, but only on paper.

"Alas, the 21 days of this arrangement still don't let people go to graduate school." Yao Shen complained, "I feel like I'm being very emotional right now. ”

"Understand, everyone can understand such a thing." The child folded his arms and sighed, "Well—what about you, are you also going to graduate school?" ”

He asked cautiously as he turned to me.

"Ah...... I"

"He's going to be a research institute."

I was stumped, Yao Shen said suddenly.

"Huh? Baoyan's...?! The kid raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm..."

"I think those who have papers can't be posted, right?" he paced with his arms crossed.

"This one has—" Yao Shen pointed at me and said rhetorically

"Huh? Undergraduate? Can undergraduates also send papers? He exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"I entered the laboratory in my freshman year, and in my junior year, I sent a paper out, and I did it all by myself, and no one took it," Yao Shen leaned on the horizontal bar with one hand, "He usually doesn't say I'll tell you." ”

"Ah, it's not that exaggerated..."

I laughed.

"That's amazing—" the kid said with a big sigh

I arrived here from the laboratory, it was almost half past ten, chatted for a while, did a few push-ups, a few pull-ups, really according to what Mr. Chen said, that can't catch up with the physical test, maybe go to the chemical factory to take the physical test, the workers look at the young doll you chase me, squatting in a row and shouting cheers.

Perhaps

"This girl has material"

Thinking about the internship in advance, I just hope that I don't look up and don't look down with that part of the people, my current thinking is really vulgar and unbearable. My world is so small that it seems like it's just me, and this group of people. Obviously, there are more people who have a crush on me and hate me, but what I care about the most in my heart are these people I hate.

I'm leaving, I said to the kid somehow

"Don't indulge in pleasure, the pleasure that makes you feel furious, that's not happiness, that's pleasure, and when the pleasure is over, it's immediately sadness. True happiness is like when you come here to pull the horizontal bar after military training today, with a little bitterness in the calm, and it makes you happy in recall. ”

"Well, yes, that makes sense." He looked me in the eye and nodded vigorously.

Just kidding, what the senior in the senior year of graduate school said still makes sense?

Just kidding, just kidding, the last sentence is really a joke, I'm just a person who tosses around in reality.