I deeply experienced this feeling two years ago, and when I experience it again today, my heart is not as sad as it was at the beginning.

Facing the last old man lying in the ice coffin, not a single tear was shed, not because I was not sad, but because I didn't know how to grieve anymore.

From now on, I have no reason to go back to see the four relatives and elderly people in my hometown.

Grandpa's favorite thing before his death was to drink and drink, maybe in the future, when I return to my hometown, I will carry a pot of good wine and a good cigarette to accompany them in front of the second elder, right?

That's what to think about in the future, Grandpa, I'm sorry, I can't be with your spirit tonight and tomorrow. I will definitely go back to be with your spirit the day after tomorrow, please forgive your second grandson for the distress, I think it seems that I haven't had a drink with you yet? Tonight, your second grandson will accompany you to drink, if there is a next life, our grandfather and grandson will drink a pot of good wine!

I'm sorry, and I shed tears again, I said okay, I will drink with you tonight, and our grandfather and grandson will drink seriously for one night!

What has to change is just that the time is in advance.

The moment I saw the cremation into ashes, I truly believed that you were really gone.

My heart is ruthless, but because of your departure, I shed tears uncontrollably, silently and deeply.

Since then, when I went back to my hometown, there was no old man smoking a red general, and when he spit out a smoke ring, he asked me with a smile: "How is your work?" ”

Since then, there has never been an old man who has taken me to cut corn on a three-wheeled electric car.

Since then, no old man has praised me for wearing new clothes on Chinese New Year's Eve, "so handsome and tasteful".

Since then, no old man has smiled and given me to his black pearl turtle as a baby.

There are so many regrettable things, without your participation, in the future, who will I accompany for Chinese New Year's Eve? In the future, when I wear new clothes, who will praise me for being handsome? When I go back to my hometown in the future, who will smoke that box of red generals?

Looking back on the experience of this year, it is like a dream.

Originally, I thought I would be as carefree as a child, but one thing that completely changed my mindset happened this year, and that was a sudden change in my family. When I was a child, my grandmother and grandfather died, and I was not mentally prepared to "never see them in the future"; Therefore, when I saw with my own eyes that the last elderly person who was related by blood was also gone, I knew that I had really grown up and it was time for me to take on the burden of the family.

My sister is married to Laiwu, and my brother is far away in Jinan, and this family needs me to protect from now on.

Meng, I don't know where you are now, but I'll find you someday. Honestly, I've never experienced this feeling of hopelessness and the heaviness of carrying too much on my back, and I thought that if you were by my side, you could help me share this feeling, but unfortunately, you are not there. I have had a very bad life in the past few months, and last month I went to the emergency department of the People's Hospital to experience the sadness caused by the various injuries of those strangers, especially when I saw an old man who was hit by a car and was carried into the morgue on a stretcher, I couldn't help but sigh a little, life is really fragile. Maybe that day would be gone, so I thought for a long time about how I was going to live. It wasn't until I completely let go of all the ex-girlfriends in my mind that I realized that life always has to go through all kinds of joys and sorrows.

Learn to get used to being separated from others, so that I can find my way, and you are the girl I can't separate.

I don't want to be a scumbag anymore, and I don't want to be a scumbag, I have to live only for you once, find you first!

I miss Sun Meng every day and don't love other girls. There's no particular reason, I'm just too lazy to like other girls.

The current circle is very simple, except for its writer friends and colleagues who work together, it is family. And I just want Sun Meng to be my family for life, not to be born on the same day, the same month, the same year, but every day with her, I am in love with her. I really want to have a lifelong marriage with her.

My colleagues in the company always say that I am very cold, and I hardly see me laughing, but in fact, I just don't laugh easily in front of outsiders.

If, instead of Sun Meng being by my side every day, I will smile like a deep well ice every day, do you believe it?

Sun Meng, I have a plan, if the future is really you, I will take you to the city you want to go to the most on your wedding anniversary every year (after having a son and daughter, I will take your mother and wife together).

No exceptions, I will definitely marry you! Let you live as a princess in a fairy tale, the girl is a little princess, and you are the most beautiful princess in my heart.

Oh, the princess crown for you! The big diamond ring that represents my unchanging sincerity is also given to you, marry me in 2025, okay?

Let me take you through a fairytale married life and be my goddess for the rest of my life. I'm not better than any good boy, but I'm not bad either, at least in the matter of loving you, I haven't thought of any girl except you.

I hope that the people you meet will "let you be a child again", I hope that the people you meet "can't do without you, I can choose you firmly", and I hope that the people you meet "give you all their tenderness and love".

I hope that the person you meet "thinks that you are a little more important than the world", I hope that the person you meet "spoils you, loves you, and is willing to do a lot of things with you", and I hope that the person you meet "has never thought about anyone else except you".

You are a lovely little friend, you deserve to meet the best people, although it is not an easy thing, but I hope you meet the right person at the right time, and then always be sweet and happy.