After a while, I took the initiative to find Li Yun and said that I was going to invite her to coffee. The cause of the incident was that Gu Xin, who was well-informed and wandered around outside the school all day, told me that there was a coffee house under Wulin Square. I think it seems that there was a short-lived coffee house, and it was indeed renovated in the underground civil air defense fortifications of Wulin Square, but I remember that the coffee house only opened when I was a junior year.

Maybe with the evolution of history, the speed of things will soon be accelerated, and I don't bother to think about this, because no matter how clearly you think, it can't be clearer than God.

When I said that I was going to invite Li Yun to coffee, Li Yun was going to evening self-study, and according to her current diligence, I think she would have no problem being admitted to the doctorate. After listening to my straightforward invitation, Li Yun sighed softly, nodded elegantly, and silently put the book back in the drawer. It felt like her expression was as tragic as that of a time-tested revolutionary of the older generation who was about to be executed.

Wulin Square in 1991 seems to have not changed much from more than ten years later, it is still the territory of the elderly and lovers, and it is also a paradise for small traders and hawkers. The café was still in the same location I remembered, and I had never been there for coffee, for the simple reason that I usually thought that coffee should be drunk in the bright sunshine rather than in the underground civil air defense fortifications.

The environment of this coffee house was already good under the conditions at that time, and there were also couples' box seats, the sofa was wide and soft and very comfortable, the lighting was dim and mysterious enough, and there were a lot of artificial flowers and plants around.

The coffee is five yuan a cup, which is worth the ticket price of a movie, and it tastes good, and it feels like it is ground out of real coffee beans, not some instant. Its bitter taste reminds me of Starbucks' eighteen-dollar coffee.

Li Yun didn't put sugar in the coffee, but took a sip directly, without any expression on her face.

I didn't know how to speak for a while, so I could only drink my coffee silently, sip after sip, and realize that if I didn't speak again, the coffee would be almost finished. I could only speak first: "Li Yun, do you hate me for opening this newsstand?"

Li Yun was silent for a long time, during which her lips also moved, I thought she was finally going to speak, but after sitting upright, I found that she still hadn't spoken, I only sighed, and then said: "Li Yun, what kind of thoughts do you have in your heart, why don't you tell me directly." I think you are always unwilling to let go of yourself completely in front of me, as if you have many things in your heart but do not want to say to me, am I so unworthy of your opening up?"

Li Yun lowered her head and stroked her fingers, and suddenly said: "Zhou Xu, I don't like people who do business, I don't want you to become like that, I don't know why, don't ask me why." ”

She wringed her fingers fiercely, and said, "At first, I didn't like your idea of opening a bookstore, but I was afraid that you would be angry and you would not understand if I said it. Until you really opened this bookstore and came out, I stood in the distance and looked at you, and suddenly my heart was very sad, I, I really don't know what is going on with myself. Later, I felt that you were busy with this bookstore every day, and you went to the newsstand every night to sell books, and I was really sad. ”

I breathed a sigh of relief, anyway, I can understand why Li Yun suddenly didn't want to be with me during this time, but just because of a bookstore?

I said, "Li Yun, tell me honestly, is the reason why you hate me for opening a newsstand because it has something to do with your father?"

Li Yun probably didn't expect me to ask such a direct question, her hands were shaking violently, and she raised her cup and took another sip of coffee with a shudder.

I noticed that her eyes were red and almost tearful. She breathed heavily to calm herself down, then said to me, "Yes. She tried to calm her tone and said, "My father, just when I was admitted to Hangzhou University, that is, in the summer of last year, left me and my mother, he had a lot of money, he gave my mother a lot of money, and then left us. ”

Li Yun showed a strange smile on her face, and continued: "I was admitted to Hangzhou University that year, and I was very happy, but he left us. In fact, since I was in high school, he has had another home in Shenzhen, and my mother and I both knew about it, but my mother never gave up until that year, and nothing could be recovered. He said that he was sorry for his mother and sorry for me, but he would give us a lot of money, so that we would have no worries about food and clothing, and he would send me money every month, and before coming to Hangzhou, he also gave me a bank account with 20,000 yuan in it. ”

"You're still a good father, aren't you?" Li Yun looked at me with a smile and then asked me.

I can't change that I say he's your father, but it's hard to say whether he's a good father or not. Money is not a substitute for fatherly love.

"No," Li Yun said, "he's a good father, at least remember to give me money, hehe." Li Yun laughed twice and then suddenly paused, and never said the rest of the words.

Then we drank coffee again, I had finished the coffee and was going to refill the cup, so I asked Li Yun, do you want to drink another cup? The coffee here tastes very good.

Li Yun said no, I won't be able to sleep. Then she said, "You know, my mother got a lot of money, it was a break-up fee, but she killed herself. I took a large bottle of sleeping pills, but I didn't die, and I was revived again. Now she doesn't speak, she doesn't speak to anyone, she doesn't make a sound all day, she doesn't cry. ”

Saying that Li Yun finally couldn't control her tears, she continued while crying: "I'm so afraid that you will become like that, like my father, he only has money and other women in his eyes, and nothing else matters, because money can buy everything, including conscience and daughter's love. ”

I said I can't become like that, Li Yun, do you still love me?

Li Yun took out a handkerchief and wiped away her tears desperately and said, "I'm sorry, I'm like a madman, I think I'm really a little nervous." You're not that kind of person, it's your freedom to like to open a book house, I'm nervous, scared, suspicious, it's all my fault. ”

I could only hold her hand, and I seemed to be able to clearly feel and understand the strong uneasiness and fear in Li Yun's heart. I gently stroked her white and soft palm and comforted her, saying, "It's not your fault, it's mine, I didn't know your heart well." Xiao Yun, please believe me, no matter what I become, I will never leave you. ”

When I said these words, it was obviously beyond the mental maturity of a nineteen-year-old boy, but Li Yun didn't notice this abnormality.

Then I wasn't scared in my heart, did I really never leave Li Yun? Can I do it? Am I really not going to become like Li Yun's father?

What will I look like in the future?

I used to know so well what my future holds, but I can't be so sure and determined now.

That night, we were in Wulin Square, like many lovers at that time, hugging each other closely in the bushes of the square, talking sweet words and vows, talking over and over again, no matter how much we talked, we didn't feel tired of it, we didn't feel illusory and empty.

Sometimes, the true meaning of a vow is no different from a sleeping pill.