It happened to be drizzling that day, Xiao Xuan stood at the door of the office, carrying an umbrella in his hand, his face was frighteningly pale, and his thin body looked very cold and shivered slightly.

After a brief moment of consternation, I stepped forward and asked her to come in and sit down, and Chen Qili made her a cup of black tea and brought it to her.

The three of us looked at each other like this for a long time, and neither of us could find the right words to speak.

"Xiao Xuan," I finally said, "you're okay." ”

"I'm fine." Zhao Xiaoxuan took a sip carefully while holding the teacup.

Chen Qili said: "Zhou Xu said that you are sick. Are you okay now, I see your face, it's very bad. ”

Xiao Xuan glanced at me and said, "I'm fine, I'm fine." ”

"Is it really settled?" I said with a pun.

"Well, you know everything?" Xiao Xuan didn't know about my visit to Di Bar that night, but she knew from my tone that maybe I had already learned about that terrible thing.

"Xiao Xuan, it's okay." I patted her on the shoulder, and then said happily, "Okay, everyone is together again, we have accumulated a lot of work, and if we don't design the packaging, Zeng Yongshan will strangle me." ”

When I got off work that day, Zhao Xiaoxuan suddenly asked me to stay, saying that he had something to say to me. Chen Qili looked at me and her without a master, and silently retired first.

I asked Xiao Xuan, "What do you have to tell me?" ”

"How did you know about this?" Zhao Xiaoxuan said straight to the point.

I was silent for a few seconds, then said, "I was there that day." ”

"So, you saw it all?" Xiao Xuan's face turned even paler.

"Hmm."

"What should I do?" Xiao Xuan sighed, and suddenly leaned down on the table weakly, leaning his head sideways on his arm.

"Can't be solved?" I asked.

"It's not." Xiao Xuan said, "It's been solved." I don't think he'll bother me anymore. ”

"So what else do you have to worry about?"

"It's nothing." Xiao Xuan whispered.

"Your own life can only be decided by yourself." I say.

"My life has nothing to do with you, does it?" Xiao Xuan looked up at me, his eyes flickering with a strange burning fire.

"I, this ------" I was speechless for a moment.

"I can't forget you. My life has already been changed by you, but you don't know it. If you know, you won't care. Actually, I know that he likes me very much, although he is not very good on the surface, and everyone is afraid of him, but I know that he is willing to die for me. But you don't care about me at all, you said before that the price of love is confusion and loss, and you say that I am deceived by you. But no matter what you become, no matter what I become, I will never forget you. ”

Xiao Xuan said to herself, she lay on the table, looking blankly at the design tools on the table, as if talking to the utility knife in front of her.

I didn't expect that she still remembered the nonsense she said to her at the beginning of the school more than three years ago.

"Do you remember, you still told me at that time that your name is Zhou Xu, but life is disorderly. Haha, don't you think it's funny?"

Zhao Xiaoxuan suddenly remembered this sentence and couldn't help laughing.

I walked over, patted her on the shoulder and said, "Okay, Xiao Xuan, it's time to go home." ”

But she looked up again and said, "Let's go dance again." ”

"What?"

"Go dance. Okay?"

She was begging me.

Her eyes were full of sorrowful supplication as she looked at me.

I was silent.

Dance? I haven't danced in a long time.

"Remember that cha cha dance?" Xiao Xuan said as he stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his face on my shoulder.

"That's the last dance you'll do with me." She said quietly.

"Xiao Xuan, do you know? Chen Qili likes you very much. I said.

"I know, because I'm attractive." Xiao Xuanyan smiled like a peach blossom, and then looked up at me and said, "Kiss me." ”

These two words are simple and unambiguous, and there is no room for rejection.

But I'm still hesitating, and the result of the battle between the heavens and men is that the evil side triumphs over the pure side. I kissed Xiao Xuan on the cheek.

"Kiss me on the lips." Xiao Xuan said very clearly again, his eyes still looking at me.

This is the last time. I said to myself, and kissed Xiao Xuan's full red lips.

Xiao Xuan closed his eyes and enjoyed the kiss on his lips for less than a second. My lips had long since left hers, but she was still enjoying the tenderness with her eyes closed. At this moment, my heart cramped again, this feeling had already occurred when Li Yun and I sat in the winter sun, sitting on the edge of that small pond, and now in this cold office, when I saw Xiao Xuan's eyes closed and concentrated, it came again.

"Xiao Xuan, wake up." I said as coldly as I could.

"Don't."

"I'll wake up someday."

"We'll talk about that day."

Xiao Xuan said this, suddenly opened his eyes and said with a smile: "Maybe, I won't live that day." ”

I hugged her hard and said, "I'm sorry." Then he pushed her away again.

For a few days, I fell into an irritable situation again, and Bao Lina never wanted to jump on Di since the last time she was frightened at Di Bar. In fact, she didn't jump into Di last time.

Bao Lina said that she wanted to go to graduate school and asked me if I would support her to go to graduate school. I said no problem, I will support you even if you are Kaobo, rest assured, I will raise you until you are old.

Bao Lina smiled with satisfaction and said, "Zhou Xu, you are so good, you are the best bastard in the world." ”

Yes, the best bastard in the world.

New Year's Day in 1994 came, and this day reminded me of the night I broke up with Zhao Xiaoxuan three years ago.

Anyway, the new year is about to begin, and everything will start again. Even if my dream life didn't come true as planned, even if I couldn't figure out who I was and where I was going.

Before New Year's Day, poor Chen Qili was even more silent, he worked overtime day and night, and designed the Spring Festival gift packaging and new product packaging, as well as a bunch of newspaper advertisements. Zhao Xiaoxuan obviously didn't have the heart to engage in design, and looked at the magazine stupidly all day long, in fact, I think she may not have read a word. And I myself was in a bad state, facing the most ordinary newspaper advertising copy, but I couldn't write a word, and finally had to let Bao Lina write it.

New Year's Day was a three-day holiday, and I slept in the Bao Mansion for three days, until my mother couldn't help but call the student dormitory, and Squad Leader Shen answered the phone but said that he didn't know where Zhou Xu lived now, saying that I basically didn't live in the dormitory.

So after three days off, squad leader Shen asked for leave from the Environmental Protection Bureau where he was interning, and made a special trip to find Xuyang Advertising to find me.