There was a long silence in the room.

And I never turned on the lights in the room, so that this kind of night became the last protective color outside Mr. Yu's body.

"When did you break down?"

Finally, I asked the most crucial question.

Teacher Yu raised his head in surprise and said, "I didn't collapse." There was a stubbornness in his voice.

"I didn't cry or make a fuss, why did I collapse?"

I laughed.

She doesn't even know what a crash is!

The collapse is not squatting on the street crying and scolding, it is the healing medicine after you perceive the collapse, which belongs to venting.

Collapse is the unacceptable sense of surprise and unacceptable stunned when something unacceptable happens, the silent collapse after enough pressure has been pent up, and the momentary uncontrollability after every anger climbs to the peak when emotions accumulate.

Therefore, the collapse makes people feel so terrible, because the moment it comes, it doesn't even say hello.

I've had a breakdown.

In the park, every accident was devastating, and the way I treated myself at that time was to cover my mouth and cry bitterly;

In the village, I carried the gunshot from behind, pretended to be deaf and mute, and returned to the wooden house, holding my knees and crying.

However, after the incident, I will understand that crying and tearing are not collapses, but unconscious treatment after people are completely unaware of their psychological injuries.

So how do I know this?

Originated from a chat with Shino.

She had a sister who was doing psychological counseling in China, and at that time, Xiaoxiao had just let me occupy the hotel and go to the psychiatrist to complain, and the doctor told her that the way to solve the problem was to write down the source of all the pain.

Eventually, she realized that what she had written was completely different from what she had in mind.

What she wrote was that she hated Mengneng, hated this world without the rule of law, and hated the barbaric people here.

Then the psychiatrist asked her, why do you hate Meng Neng?

Xiaoxiao's reply was that there is a person named Lao Qiao here, who does all kinds of evil, and there is another person named Xu Ruifeng, who is how to do three abuses. The most ferocious criticism of morality and humanity made a desperate judgment, and I wanted to find a silver sword to plunge into the hearts of both of us, and lock it in a coffin.

Eventually, Shinoshi mentions the hotel and says that all the evil happened there.

This was the only specific location in the entire description, and the psychiatrist, keenly aware of this, began to inquire about the hotel.

Xiaoxiao then realized that what she hated didn't seem to be Mengneng, nor was it the hotel, what she really hated was the irresistibility that happened in the hotel room that day.

Then, she cried all night, all night, in front of the psychiatrist's video call.

It was so slowly cured.

That's why I met Xiaoxiao on the street and took her on the cruise ship of Lao Zhao's family.

The collapse is so terrible, so terrible that someone will cover the wound with strength, and then pretend to be casual and say, "I didn't." ”

I felt that Teacher Yu's collapse came from the escape in the mountains.

She is a teacher who keeps shouting 'benevolence, righteousness and morality', but when danger comes, she chooses to flee.

This breakdown was not attached to her by anyone, it was the torture she gave herself every night when she couldn't sleep when she remembered it.

Then, at the moment of dawn, he went to the mirror to clean himself up like no one else, and let the wound bleed in his heart.

This is the 'unbearable pain' that a person who 'plays with ideals' has to endure when he has not experienced any pain after choosing the wrong 'ideal'.

However, the injured person is not aware of it, and he does not know what it means to know himself in order to heal himself.

"I didn't break down," she said. ”

After speaking, he began to become emotional, raised his two hands and said, "I just can't understand!" ”

"What did I do wrong?"

"I want the world to get better, what's wrong?"

"I want to be a great person, what's wrong?"

"I want to change that, right?"

That's right.

Absolutely.

I explained, "It's never wrong to choose a positive life. ”

"But you've got to come across an era that suits you."

"Go back 80 years, and you will meet a group of like-minded people like you in the most difficult environment."

"You can eat bran and talk about ideal ......"

"But now all you see is ideals."

I felt the pressure in my chest, as if I couldn't get out of it.

Even I have this feeling, and I can imagine what Teacher Yu has endured.

"Mengneng doesn't have the era you said."

"The people here have been ruled by drug lords for a long time, and their only idea is to live and live better, and they feel that your set is illusory."

"That's the bran you should eat!"

"But, you can't eat a bite."

"Do you understand what that means?"

"It shows that there is nothing wrong with those ideals, it's just that you shouldn't be the one to fulfill them."

"You let me, a person with a mouth full of 'X your mother', go to the school to teach children, and what can only be brought out is a group of hooligans, who dares to expect this group of people to change the times?"

"Do you understand?"

Teacher Yu didn't hide from my gaze this time, she was looking at me fearlessly.

"And what is my effort?"

She had begun to speak badly, and after she was untenable in her ideals, she began to nag hard.

"Is it a joke in your eyes?"

I can't hit her yet, it's too much, and the girl turns around and pulls the trigger at the girl, and it only gets worse.

I can only say against my will: "There is not a single fireworks in this world that can touch the stars, but who dares to say that fireworks are not beautiful when they bloom?" ”

Yes, I know these people too well, the fools in this society are all poisoned by beautiful words, and one counts as one.

Teacher Yu told me the answer with unimaginable astonishment.

She couldn't have imagined that I could say such desirable words.

But how empty is this sentence?

Fireworks can only be a flash in the pan, and they can't become eternal stars in this life.

People who watch fireworks will only let people walk into the hotel room with their arms in their arms, and only those who watch the stars will spend a lot of money to buy a high-powered astronomical telescope!

I slowly stood at the door under the gaze of Teacher Yu, walked over to her step by step, and said, "It's like if you recognize the great attributes of those 'ideals', you must be mentally prepared for 'sacrifice'. ”

"There is no ideal in this world that can be accomplished through 'one person' or even 'one generation', and there must be a process of 'one after the other'."

"You're already good and off to a good start."

I reached out and slowly grabbed her gunman, and as she looked at me with her wary gaze, I put my other hand on her shoulder to stabilize her emotions and said, "You shouldn't be thinking about success or failure......

"You should think about why the flowers that you have already felt bloomed, why there are nights and days, and the excitement when you and those classmates talk about your ideals at the wine table......"

I unloaded the gun in her untense hand: "If you still want to continue your ideals, I will also help you find a teacher." ”

"Teacher?"

She looked at me.

I unloaded the magazine from the gun and withdrew the loaded bullet before saying, "Yes, in the black prison." (End of chapter)