At first, it was Xiao Yi who suddenly realized that he hadn't seen Eve for a long time.

At first, he thought that the time between each meeting had been extended again, and although his heart was a little empty, he didn't pay too much attention to it.

Then, as time passed, Xiao Yi became more and more aware that his original thoughts were just a kind of self-comfort.

That sister...... It's really gone forever.

When Xiao also realized this, he didn't cry, he didn't lose his soul, he just stood in place, motionless.

There are so many emotions in his heart that he doesn't know which emotion to vent for a while, and he can't figure out which emotion is the most important.

"What's wrong?" Xiao Yi came up to her and asked.

Although they don't have a stable place to live, Xiao Yi can still understand what Eve means by going back.

At the same time, the gentle, familiar touch flowed through Xiao Yi's hair.

Xiao Yi opened his eyes in astonishment, and then, in the cool white moonlight, he saw the familiar face again.

Therefore, Xiao Yi didn't want to continue to regret it, even if it was just a dream, he had to say what was in his heart to her, and say what he regretted not being able to say.

"Because I want to make sure I'm still here." Xiao also said: "The so-called existence of people is to be seen by others and to connect with others. The so-called human being is the sum total of all social relations, which is probably the same meaning. ”

However, there was no one to teach Xiao Yi how to escape, and he could only use the worst way to escape.

At that time, Xiao was also confused, and learned that everyone must learn when they grow up, and it is also an ability that they must learn to live.

Then, just as Xiao Yi sighed helplessly, he suddenly felt that his head was picked up by a gentle force.

It's not that you stop, it's not that you're moving forward in a hurry or looking back at the footprints left in the past, it's just a leisurely stroll.

Shaw then began to use alcohol to numb himself.

At that time, Xiao Yi was extremely hopeful that he could forget all this.

Xiao Yi let out a long breath, and as his consciousness gradually cleared up, the things he didn't want to think about once again came out of his mind.

That's ...... Evade.

She looked at Xiao Yi with a somewhat evasive gaze.

"You don't need to apologize." Xiao Yi looked at her and said very seriously: "...... I have to thank you. Thanks to you, I have a reason to live. ”

“…… Ha! ”

“……”

"Do you have to go through such pain just to forget for a moment, to taste the feeling of happiness that is out of reach? This man lives...... It's really boring. ”

“……”

As soon as he woke up, he began to vomit uncontrollably.

Even if some people's lives, for others, are very boring, there is nothing to say, no disease moaning, and numbness, but it is still everyone's life, irreplaceable, the most precious life.

"That's right." Xiao also slowly explained: "I have long known that alcohol can bring me such pain, and I have experienced it more than once, but even so, I still chose to do it. ”

"I'm scared of that, so I've been avoiding contact with people, and I've been alone all the time you've been away...... Because, if you haven't made a connection, you won't lose it. ”

Xiao also didn't care about this at all, he was like an irrelevant passerby passing by, and he didn't care about his own affairs.

"No...... How to say it. She said with some shame: "Think about it carefully, I actually didn't help you at all, just by your side, it can be said that you have come to this point by yourself, I have no use at all, thinking of this, I don't know how to face you......"

After that, Xiao also cut off his past emotions from his ability to think as he wished, and lived alone until ...... The rules of the monster talked about the day it came.

“…… Let's move forward. Regret looked at his back and smiled with relief: "This story should come to an end." ”

"Really? That's good......"

The concept of home is not about dwelling, but about ...... When you're by someone's side, home is there.

The next day, Xiao Yimeng straightened up from the bed!

Their home is on the strolling road. Speaking of which, aren't all their homes on the same strolling road?

Therefore, when Eve said that she would go back to their home, she didn't even have an exact place to live, but Xiao Yi could still understand what she was talking about.

……

In the haze, half-awake and half-drunk, Xiao not only forgot his loneliness, but even felt ...... A feeling called bliss.

"It hurts...... It's as if someone has pierced the temple with a driver. ”

"Hmm......" Xiao Yi took her hand.

If it is at a critical juncture, or when Xiao Yi wants to think about himself, the thinking ability that he hides will be revealed.

"Welcome back." Regret said, "How does it feel? ”

She had left herself, and she was alone again.

Forget your loneliness, even if you are alone, you will not be so afraid.

“…… Let me sleep, no, forget it, in the middle of a dream, the realization that I am going to die after all is more painful than usual. ”

Xiao couldn't figure it out, but he looked at the empty room and knew that he still had to live alone from now on.

“…… Is it? Oh, yes. Eve didn't bother anymore, she stretched out her hand to Xiao Yi, "Then, there's no need to waste time here...... Let's go back. ”

"I'm sorry......" she said, "for making you suffer like this......"

"Has she been here? Or was it all my dream from the beginning? ”

However, he couldn't.

It's not a romantic blank ending like in the story, but a real, well-defined, and terrifyingly clear reality.

"Xiao Yi ......"

And also...... When I challenge the rules and talk about strange things, I always have a flash of inspiration and the reason why I break the game is also clear.

“……！” She looked at Xiao Yi in amazement.

That's because I have regained the ability to think, so I can have the possibility of breaking the game.

“…… Take it easy. Regret said: "She's outside in the garden, and as for why she didn't appear in front of you, it's because she hasn't sorted out her thoughts yet." ”

“……！”

"Why?" She asked.

Late one night, Xiao Yi couldn't remember what he was doing before, and he didn't want to think about it.

As soon as the words fell, Xiao Yi slowly closed his eyes under the wrapping of satisfaction and no regrets.

"Uh-!!uh-

When I saw her again, she was standing there alone.

The pain of the hangover kept stinging Xiao Yi's nerves.

He told himself, and without hesitation, he poured alcohol into his mouth.

"It's like having a long dream." Xiao also said: "Moreover, I have also figured out a lot of things. ”

Xiao also got up from the bed, but immediately found that the mess he made yesterday had disappeared, I don't know if it was cleaned by someone, or if all this had not happened from the beginning.

But that happiness is always fleeting, and then it comes great suffering.

"......" Listening to Xiao Yi's words, tears couldn't stop surging out of the corners of her eyes, "You are really amazing, different from me." I haven't done anything yet, and I've been making you suffer, I'm sorry...... I'm sorry. ”

Then, as if thinking of something, she finally really laughed.

He and she had traveled together, witnessed the lives of all kinds of people, and then left, leaving the lives of others and returning to his own.

Then, he collapsed to the ground, rubbing his head with pain on his face.

"Ah............" After saying this, Xiao Yi let out a satisfied voice, "I finally said it, I wanted to tell you these words before." I thought I wouldn't have that opportunity, so I regretted it very much, why didn't I say it earlier? Fortunately...... This regret was made up. ”

"However, loneliness is so terrible, no one proves that he is still alive, knows whether he is still alive, and when he really leaves this world, no one knows, he has left without anything. When I'm alone, I can't stop thinking about these deep, painful things. So, I had to find a way to prove that I still existed, even if I was alone. ”

A sour and astringent sticky substance poured out of his mouth and did not stop for a long time.

Like what...... When he met Eve in the rules and jokes, why did he have such feelings for her, so much so that he called her his mother.

However, memory is not easily manipulated by subjective consciousness, and not only that, those kinds of sober thoughts that will always come out of it when he is alone make Xiao feel extremely painful.

“……！” Xiao didn't say anything more, and immediately rushed out the door.

"What are you talking about?" Xiao Yi smiled: "Didn't I already say it? You're by my side and don't leave me alone, that's more important than anything else. ”

However, compared with before, one thing has changed, that is, Xiao Yi's heart is not as painful as before.

However, even in a dream, I saw her again.

Xiao Yi opened his eyes, and the first thing that caught his eye was the figure of the woman named Regret.

He can only keep scolding his brain, why does he always follow himself? Why do you always have to work against yourself?

As a result, Xiao Yi even began to hate that he had the ability to think, and he wanted to cut out his brain so that he didn't have to think about those things anymore.

Here, in this place, Xiao Yi stood on the road of his life, thinking about such and such things, while looking at the sky, walking slowly.

What regrets love the most is the story of someone else's life.

"No, it's not your fault." "I chose to do it myself," he said. ”

……

Xiao also thought that he was dreaming, his consciousness was still very hazy, even if he was dreaming, it would not be strange.

"Hmm......" she nodded lightly at Xiao Yi, "I already know what you think." ”

But none of that mattered, Xiao Yi was most concerned about one thing right now.

"Uh......" Xiao Yi wiped his mouth, just glanced at it indifferently, and then said indifferently: "No wonder this time I feel not only bile, but even my stomach is going to vomit out, it seems that my stomach is bleeding." ”

......Seeing her smile, Xiao Yi also smiled with relief, and then slowly said, "Thank you...... To be able to be by my side when I was abandoned. Also, family members are not connected by blood...... Thank you for allowing me to have a family. And also...... One last thing, thank you for giving me a place to go back to. ”

Since then, Xiao Yi has often said that "my brain is not the same person as me", which is actually hinting at himself.

“…… yes, even if it's just a temporary forgetting. ”

……

Because, in her subconscious, she has been forgotten as her mother-like existence.

She smiled at Xiao Yi, that smile was full of bitterness, helplessness and guilt, but she was still smiling, showing the familiar smile in her memory to Xiao Yi.

"A choice of your own?"

"Then, in the haze of intoxication, I saw another self, who was probably the one who didn't listen to me all the time, always worked against me, my brain, right? My brain is a completely different existence than I am, so he can prove that I exist, and at the same time, he can help me, take on the emotions that I want to forget, and ...... I gave him the ability to think that would make me cranky. ”

However, the surroundings are still empty, and the situation is still the same.

There is no need to taste the taste, the taste of the wine is actually just like that, the important thing is the effect of the alcohol.

Moreover, the vomit has a bright red color.

Then, I felt a softness and warmth in the back of my head.

"That's why I feel happy when I'm drunk, because I can be sure I'm alive...... Soon, I believe that even if I stop drinking, I will still be able to get into that state. Human consciousness is carried on top of matter, so with a little more effort, I can change my own consciousness. In that case, even if you are alone...... I'm going to be able to live too. ”

"Without the ability to think, I would probably be mentally retarded. But that's fine, I don't want to end my life of meeting you, I want my life to continue. ”

No matter how spicy it was, it didn't matter if it stimulated me so much that I couldn't stop crying.

“…… Sure enough, it's a dream. ”

"It is because of the connection with others that people can live in this world. But if that connection is severed even a little bit, a part of one's existence will be lost, and one will die a little bit, and all the more will accumulate until one dies completely. ”

Therefore, Xiao Yi immediately asked, "...... What about her? Where did she go? Why not here? ”

"Eve......

Xiao also tried to get up, but he tried harder, but in the end he couldn't get up, and the back of his head hit the hard ground again.

They walked side by side on a lonely road where the beginning and the end were lonely......

has not yet reached the end, this is Xiao Yi's story so far.

(End of chapter)