As a leader, you should repeatedly remind yourself that it is not the forces that push you to the pinnacle of success, but your colleagues and subordinates who push you to that high position.

To be highly successful, you need the support and cooperation of others, and achieving that support and cooperation requires a certain level of leadership.

Success and the ability to lead others – i.e. getting people to do something they wouldn't do on their own initiative.

The elements of success we discussed in the previous chapter will help you develop your leadership skills.

Here we also need to grasp four special leadership principles or principles that enable others to do things for us in politics, in business, in social situations, in the home, wherever people are.

The four principles (principles) are:

1. Exchange ideas with the people you want to influence;

2. What humane approach should you consider using?

3. Desire to succeed, believe in success, and strive to achieve success;

4. Make time for self-reflection.

Putting these principles into practice can make a difference. Once we apply these principles to the things we do every day, the aura of the word "leadership" loses its mystique.

Let's take a closer look at the above four principles.

Exchanging ideas with the people you want to influence is a magical way to get others – friends, colleagues, customers, employees – to do what you want.

Here are two examples:

Yu Jiale is a TV copywriter and director for a large advertising agency.

On one occasion, the company was advertising for a new customer who produced children's shoes, and he was commissioned to do a series of television commercials for this customer.

More than a month after the advertisement aired, it became clear that the ad had no effect on expanding retail.

That's why advertising, because in many cities shoppers make their shopping decisions through TV commercials.

In a survey of TV viewers, they found that 4% of people thought the ad was good and was "one of the best ads".

Some of the rest of the audience weren't interested in the ads, while others said they "stink."

Such an audience is judged according to their own wishes.

"It's so weird, it's crazy, and the rhythm of the music is uncomfortable."

"My kids love to watch a lot of commercials, but when the ad for this shoe comes up, they get scared and run to the bathroom or cold room." "I think this is too domineering", "I think some people are pretending to be smart".

Through the analysis of all perceptions, it was found that the 4% of viewers who found it interesting to like the ad were based on their income, education, experience and interests.

The other 96 per cent are clearly in a different "socio-economic" class.

Yu Jiale's 2 million yuan advertisement failed because he only followed his hobbies.

When he creates commercials, he only thinks about buying shoes on his own terms, rather than in a way that the public likes, so his advertising programs only please himself, not the public.

This would not have been the case if Yu Knorr had exchanged ideas with the general public and asked himself the following two questions.

These two questions are: "If I were a parent, what kind of ads would motivate me to buy those shoes?" ”

"If I were a child, what type of ad would make me tell my mom or dad to buy those shoes for me?"

And why did Yang Qiong fail in retail?

Yang Qiong is a smart, well-educated, and attractive girl. She is 24 years old and has just graduated from university and is working as a shopping guide in the ready-to-wear department of a low-end department store.

In a letter of recommendation, she was highly praised: "Yang Qiong is self-motivated, talented and enthusiastic, and she will definitely be able to achieve great success in her career." ”

But Yang Qiong did not achieve any outstanding success after all, she only worked for 8 months before resigning and looking for another job.

I know her incoming manager. One day, I asked him what had happened, and he explained it like this:

"Yang Qiong is a good girl with a lot of advantages." "But she has one major flaw. ”

"What's that?" I asked.

Well, Yang Qiong always buys things that most customers don't like according to her hobbies. She chooses the styles, colors, materials, and prices she likes, without putting herself in the shoes of customers who are likely to buy them. When I remind her that these might not be appropriate for customers, she always says, 'Gross, they'll love it.' I just love it. I think these things are definitely selling'.

"Yang Qiong grew up in a wealthy family, and her educational background made her focus on quality. The price doesn't matter to her. Yang Qiong does not look at clothes from the perspective of low- and middle-income customers. So the clothes she buys are always out of place. ”

The point is: in order for others to do what you ask them to do, you have to put yourself in their shoes.

When you exchange ideas, the secrets of how you can effectively influence others will become clear.

A friend who is a very successful businessman told me that he spends a lot of time researching how customers respond before implementing a deal.

Exchanging ideas with the audience helps broadcasters design more interesting and lively conversations. Exchanging ideas with employees helps managers make instructions more effective and acceptable.

A young credit union manager explained to me how this could have worked for him.

"When I came to this store (a medium-sized clothing store) as an assistant to the sales manager, I was assigned to take care of the corresponding debt settlement. I was disappointed by the collection messengers they used. The rhetoric is fiery, vitriol, and insulting. When I read it, I thought, 'Brother, if someone sends me a letter like this, I'm going to go crazy like hell.' I will never pay. I immediately got to work and rewrote a letter. At the very least, this letter will move me to pay my overdue bills. And it worked. Suffice it to say, by putting yourself in the position of a customer who is overdue and not paying, the debt settlement effort has achieved record-breaking success. ”

There are many political candidates in the United States who have lost because they cannot see themselves through the typical mentality of voters.

For example, two candidates who want to enter the State Department are almost equally qualified opponents. But in the end, one person finally entered the State Department, and the other opponent missed. There is only one reason for this:

Defeated, he always used a language that only a few voters understood.

And his opponent succeeded, because he considered the taste of the electorate.

When speaking to a farmer, use the language of the farmer;

When giving speeches to workers, use a language that is familiar to them;

In televised speeches, he introduced himself to the "typical electorate" rather than just university professors and doctors.

This question is always on my mind.

"What would I do if I exchanged ideas with others?" This paves the way for greater success.

In any case, we always have the interests of the people we want to influence in mind, and that's a good principle.

A few years ago, a small appliance manufacturer developed a fuse that is said to be forever.

The manufacturer priced its product at 100 yuan and asked an advertising agency to do the beautification promotion.

The advertising planner in charge of this immediately became ambitious.

The plan is to spread the word nationwide through a large number of advertisements through television, radio and newspapers.

"100 million will be sold in the first year," he said. ”

His assistant tried to remind him that fuses were not very popular and did not have the appeal of Romantic, and that those who wanted to buy them tried to buy them as cheap as possible.

So his aides suggested: "Why not use a particular magazine and sell it to people in the upper income class?" ”

They ignored the suggestion.

The massive advertising campaign went on for six weeks before it died down because of the "that disappointing" effect.

The key to the failure is that the advertising planner sees this high-priced fuse with his own eyes, and his annual income is as high as 750,000 yuan. He was not able to see the product through the eyes of a wide range of customers, who only earned 5-100,000 yuan.

If he puts himself in the position of the majority of his customers, he will know that it is smart to sell directly to people in the upper income bracket, and thus save that advertising expense.

Try to develop the ability to exchange ideas with the people you want to influence, and the following training will help.

Exercises for exchanging views:

Scenario Exercises:

For best results, ask yourself the following questions:

1. When giving work instructions, ask yourself, "Do you know this from a novice's perspective?" ”

2. When writing an ad, ask yourself, "If I were a typical buyer, how would I react to this ad?" ”

3. Ask yourself on phone etiquette: "If I were a foreigner, what would I think of my voice and manners?" ”

4. When giving a gift, ask yourself, "Is this a gift that I love, or is it something he loves?" ”

5. Ask yourself when giving orders, "When someone gives me instructions in their own way, will I be happy to carry them out?" ”

6. When restraining your child, ask yourself, "If I were a child,—— how would I react to this restraint?" ”

7. When dressing up, ask yourself, "What would my boss think if he dressed like me?" ”

8. As you prepare your presentation, ask yourself, "How would I think of this presentation, given the audience's background and interests?" ”

9. When entertaining, ask yourself, "What food, music, and entertainment do I enjoy most as a guest?" ”

Put the principle of exchange of views to work for you: (empathy)

1. Consider someone else's situation, put you in their place, and keep in mind how their interests, income, and talents are different from yours.

2. Ask yourself, "How would I react if I were in his position?" (whatever you want him to do);

3. Then take the action that someone else is going to take.

Leadership Principle 2 – Consider:

What is a human way of dealing with things.

Different people lead differently.

Imagine the situation of a dictator, who always makes decisions without consulting anyone. He refused to listen to his subordinates, and he was afraid that he would lose face if he listened to the right opinions of his subordinates.

The dictator's leadership will not last long.

Employees may feign momentary loyalty, but chaos can quickly set in. Some good employees will leave, while the rest will unite against the tyrant. The result will be the cessation of normal work.

Because of its dictatorship, the dictator would be in an awkward position.

The second type of leadership is a cold, mechanical, dogmatic way of operating.

Leaders who apply this method approach everything strictly according to what is in the book. He did not realize that all principles, policies or plans were only appropriate to guide the general situation. Seeing people as machines is the last thing people like.

Those with a higher art of leadership use a third method known as having a "human touch."

A few years ago, I had a lot of contact with Mr. S due to my work. Mr. S is the manager of the engineering development department of a large aluminum plant. He mastered the "human touch" approach to leadership and was rewarded.

In various ways, he made it clear to his subordinates: "You are human beings, I respect you, and I will do my best to help you." ”

When a person joins his department from out of town, he takes into account the inconveniences, helps him find a place to live, and so on.

Through the female secretary and two other employees, he held a birthday party for each member.

This takes only about 30 minutes, and it doesn't require a big expense, but rather an investment in employee loyalty.

When he heard that an employee belonged to an ethnic minority, Mr. S called him into his office and promised to pay attention to his religious holidays. Unlike ordinary workers, a separate celebration will be arranged for him.

When an employee or an employee's family member gets sick, Mr. S takes it to heart. Dedicate time to talk to individual employees about how work is progressing while they are away.

But Mr. S's "human touch" philosophy is best represented in the way he deals with employment.

There was an employee of Mr. S's former manager who had lost his enthusiasm and interest in the work he was doing. Mr. S handled this matter beautifully.

He didn't do what he usually did: call the employee into the office, first give him bad news, and let him leave in 15 or 30 days.

Instead, he did two unusual things. First, Mr. S explained to him why it would be better for him to change places. There, his work spirit and interests will be brought into play to a greater extent. He worked with the employee and contacted a well-known employment agency. Then, he did something extraneous. Help that employee find a new job and exchange ideas with a company manager who can use his or her skills.

Only 18 days after the employee was dismissed, he was re-employed in a desirable location.

This method of dealing with dismissal piqued my interest.

I asked Mr. S what he was thinking behind the scenes.

He explained: "I have formed an idea in my mind, and I have always insisted that whoever is under the leadership of someone else, then he should also be under the protection of this person.

But because he is not up to this kind of work, we should not continue to use him. Now that he was fired, all I could do was to at least help him get back into the job.

Mr. S continued, "Anyone can hire people, but the test of leadership is how you fire people. By helping that person get back into the workforce, I've built job security for everyone in my department. Through this example, I let them know that as long as I am here for a day, no one will fall down the streets.

Mr. S executes the art of leadership with a "human touch" without fail.

There is no gossip or secrets about Mr. S, and he has gained unquestionable loyalty and support. He gives his subordinates the greatest sense of job security, so he also has the greatest sense of job security.

I have been in contact with a Mr. W for about fifteen years. Now he is fifty-seven or eight years old. He had a rough history, his education was intermittent, and he was destitute.

He unfortunately lost his job two years ago. But he has always been a strong striver, not a Lai Han.

He opened an upholstery shop in his garage. Thanks to his tireless efforts, the business has grown day by day.

Today, his shop has grown into a modern furniture factory with more than 300 employees.

Mr. B is a millionaire, and money and material things are no longer his concern. But he's also rich in other ways, a contented millionaire with friends.

Among Mr. B's excellent qualities, the strong desire to help others stands out. Mr. B is a human person and an empathetic expert.

One day, Mr. B and I talked about rebuking people.

Mr. B thinks that the way full of "human touch" is the right model.

Here's how he handles it:

"I don't think you can find anyone willing to admit that they are weak. When I have a twist or turn in my own work, I try to deal with it. That's how I handle it myself – and that's important. If an employee makes a mistake, I have to be extra careful not to hurt their self-esteem, make them feel inferior or ashamed.

I only used four simple steps to deal with it:

First, I had a private conversation with him;

Second, I commend them for what they have done.

Third, I point out that they can do better with what is happening. I'll help him find a way;

Fourth, praise him again for his merits.

"Whenever I work with this four-step method, people appreciate me. Sleepy for me found exactly what they liked. When they get out of this office, they remember: not only did they do a good job, but they also did a better job. ”

"I've gambled my whole life on people," Mr. B said. "The better I treat people, the more things will do good to me. To be honest, I didn't mean to do that. It's just that things will go this way.

"I'll give you an example. Before, oh, about 5 or 6 years ago, there was a worker named Yu Ji who went to work after he was drunk. Soon, there was a riot in the factory. Because Yu Ji took a 5-gallon bucket of paint and spilled it everywhere. Another worker snatched paint from him, and the plant manager kicked him out of the gate.

"I went out and found him sitting downstairs at the gate, in a trance. I helped him up, got him into my car, and I sent him home. His wife was anxious. I tried to comfort her and said that everything would be fine. 'Oh, you don't understand,' she said. 'Mr. W (referring to me) will not tolerate anyone going to work drunk. Yu Ji will be unemployed, so what can we do? I told her that Yu Ji would not be fired. She asked me how I knew. I explained because I was Mr. W.

She almost fainted with joy. I told her that I would do my best to help her husband, and at the same time hoped that she would do the same at home; Let him get to work on time tomorrow morning.

"When I got back to the factory, I went to Yuji's department and told his colleagues, 'I've seen something unpleasant happen here today, but I want people to forget about it.'" Yu Ji will come back to work tomorrow and treat him well. He has been a good worker for a long time, and we should give him another chance. After Yu Ji returned to work, there was no more alcoholism. I quickly forgot about it, but Yu Ji didn't. Two years ago, the head of the local trade union sent some people to discuss signing labor contracts for local workers. They make untenable and, to put it simply, unrealistic. Yu Ji, who had always been silent and docile, suddenly became a leader. He got busy and reminded the factory workers, 'We get Mr. W's usual fair treatment and don't need outsiders to tell us how to handle our own business.' ’

"After the outsiders left, we negotiated the labor contract as we usually did, as we usually did. This is thanks to Yu Ji. ”

Here are two ways to use the "human touch" approach that will make you a better leader.

First, whenever you encounter a problem involving people, ask yourself, "What is the humane way to deal with it?" ”

Think about it repeatedly when there is a disagreement with a subordinate or when an employee has a problem.

Remember Mr. W's pattern of helping others correct their mistakes. Avoid sarcasm and bad words. Avoid obliterating the prestige of others and making people feel inferior.

Ask yourself, "What is the best way to interact with people?" ”

It always pays off, but sometimes sooner and sometimes later.

The second way to profit from the "human touch" principle is to let your actions show that you put others in a position of importance.

Show interest in the results of subordinates outside of work, and treat everyone with sincerity.

Remind yourself that the most basic purpose of life is to enjoy it.

It is a basic principle that the more attention you show to a person, the more he will give for you. And his dedication is the motivation to move forward and achieve greater and greater success.

Praise your subordinates for their competence to your superiors on every occasion.

There is an old European proverb: Praise your enemies.

Your subordinates will accept your praise and increase their loyalty to you.

Don't worry about how much your superiors value you.

A humble person seems to be more confident than a person who feels excluded and constantly reminds others of their achievements and lacks security.

A little humility would have great benefits.

Take advantage of every possible opportunity to praise subordinates.

Praise them for their spirit of cooperation and for their special efforts.

Praise is the greatest encouragement you can give to others without costing you a penny.

In addition, so-called "written elections" often defeat strong, well-known candidates.

Because you never know that your subordinates will attack you.

Try to praise others.

Soothing people in an appropriate way, full of human touch.

Leadership Principle 3:

Eager to progress, believing that progress will be made, and working hard for progress.

Your praise for anyone should be: "He's an enterprising person, he's a very competent person." "This applies everywhere.

The opportunity for promotion will only fall to those who are confident and work tirelessly to forge ahead.

Leaders, true leaders, are in the minority, because there are far more people who are content with the status quo than those who strive to keep improving.

Make friends with outstanding people with leadership qualities, and you will also become a motivated person.

In order to develop your enterprising spirit, there are two special issues to be aware of:

1. Think about whether you have made progress in anything you do.

2. Think about what is the highest standard for anything you do?

A few months ago, the owner of a medium-sized company asked me to help him make an important decision.

It's his own business, he hires seven salespeople, and the next step is to promote a manager from among them. He narrowed down his target to three people who were about the same level of experience and sales performance.

My advice is to spend a day with each person to get to know each other thoroughly and then give you advice on which one is best for leadership.

Everyone was informed that a consulting expert would visit him to discuss the full market process.

Obviously, I didn't tell them about my special purpose.

Two of them reacted fairly unanimous and were uncomfortable with my arrival. They seem to sense that I'm here to "change something." ”

Everyone is a true defender of the status quo, content with the way the past has acted.

I raised a number of questions about various aspects of market building, such as the expansion of the service area, the compensation process, and the advertising promotion. To all the questions, they explained why the current practice could not be changed and should not be changed. In short, both want to leave everything as it is.

When I was taken back to the hotel, one of them said to me; "I don't know why you're staying with me for such a day. Tell my boss for me that everything is as good as it used to be. Look no further. ”

The third person is very different. He is satisfied with the company and is proud of its development. But he wasn't entirely happy with the company. He believes that there is still room for improvement.

Throughout the day, he told me all his ideas, how to expand new business to provide better service to customers, reduce wasted time, review the compensation plan to get more support, etc. He said that if all of this could be achieved, then he – including his company, of course, would have more revenue.

He also portrayed the new advertising strategy he had been considering.

When I left, he parted with the words, "I will definitely take every opportunity to tell people what I think." We've had good returns, but I'm confident we can do better. ”

Rightfully I recommend a third person. This is also in line with the feeling of the boss.

Advocate greater scale, improved efficiency, new products, new processes, and better training, which will bring greater prosperity and development.

Eager to improve, work hard, and you'll be a leader.

As a child, I had the privilege of witnessing how two leaders with different ideas can make their followers exhibit distinctly different behaviors.

I attended a rural elementary school: five grades, a teacher, and forty students were crammed into a courtyard with four brick walls. New teachers are always in big trouble. Being led by the nose by the big kids, the fifth graders.

For a year, there was nothing else to do but make a mess. Everyone has a dozen pranks.

Then there are important accidents. Once, he kept the teacher out for most of the day, and on another occasion he did the opposite, blocking her in the house for hours. Another time, every boy in the fifth grade brought a dog into the classroom. On one occasion, a student took a snake and scared the poor female teacher half to death.

By the way, these children are not criminals, violence and harm are not their essence. They are energetic, rustic children who just need to bring out the great energy and intelligence that will be suppressed.

Before the end of the year, the teacher had no choice but to stay in school stupidly. After the New Year, a new teacher was introduced.

The new teacher identifies the outstanding behaviour of the children, exerts their self-esteem, self-love, and stimulates their ability to work. Each child is assigned a certain amount of work.

Like wiping the blackboard, cleaning up, or revising homework for younger classmates. New teachers find effective ways to use their abilities.

The center of her teaching is on cultivating qualities.

Why are children like little devils one year and little angels the next?

The difference is that the leaders are their teachers.

Honestly, we can't blame the kids for pranks throughout the school year, teachers play a vital role.

From the inside, the first teacher doesn't care if the children make progress, she doesn't give the children any goals, she doesn't motivate them, she can't control her emotions.

Since she doesn't like to teach, the students don't like to learn either.

The latter, the second teacher, has a clear high standard. She genuinely loves the children and hopes that they will succeed in their studies. She also pays attention to the individuality of each person. She easily established discipline. Because everything she does, she has good discipline.

We've found that similar forms of adjustment happen every day in human-populated organizations.

During the Second World War, army chiefs constantly noticed that there was no high morale in those units where the commanders were "relaxed", "relaxed", and "listless".

Elite divisions are led by officers with high standards who enforce military discipline fairly and correctly. Military personnel do not respect undemanding officers.

College students also act on the actions of their professors.

When a professor is teaching, students skip class, copy homework, and cheat to pass exams instead of studying hard.

The same student, who is studying under a strict professor, hopes to master the course knowledge and get good grades in the exam.

In the mall, we once again find that people's minds are exemplified by their superiors.

Take a closer look at a group of employees, pay attention to their habits, ways of behaving, attitudes towards the company, ethics, self-control, and compare the results with the behavior of their superiors, and you will find striking similarities.

Every year, there are many slow-moving, declining companies that need to be restructured, what should we do? Replace a small number of managers at the top.

Companies (including universities, research institutes, clubs, trade unions, and all other types of organizations) can be successfully restructured from the top down, rather than from the bottom up.

Changing the minds of the upper echelons naturally changes the minds of the lower echelons.

Keep one thing in mind:

As soon as you become the leader of an organization, members will immediately adjust themselves to your standards.

This was especially striking in the first few weeks.

Their maximum energy is spent on discovering your "clues", keeping a close eye on your expectations, and paying attention to every action you make.

They think, "How much does he expect from me?" What does he want me to do? What can be done to please him? What would he say if I did this or that? ”

Once discovered, they act accordingly.

Check the role models you do. Use the following ancient but tried-and-true quatrain as a guide:

What would the world be, / What would it be, / If everyone in it, / would be like me?

Add this self-test to something else, i.e., "world" becomes "company", and it looks like this:

This company, / What will be, / If everyone in it, / is like me?

In the same way, ask yourself, what would clubs, committees, schools, institutes, and universities look like if they acted like you?

Ask your subordinates what you think, what you talk about, what you do, and how you live, and they will do it.

For some time, the subordinates tended to become the "copies" of the superiors. The easiest way to be effective is to determine that your supervisor's behavior is worth emulating.

Am I an enterprising person? Check it out:

A.Do I have increasing demands for my work?

1. Do I have a dedication to my work?

2. Do I praise my company, my people, and my products whenever I can?

3. Regarding the quality and quantity of my efforts, is my own standard higher now than it was three or six months ago?

4. Am I setting a good example for my subordinates, assistants, and colleagues?

B. Have I thought too much about improving my family life?

1. Is my family happier today than it was 3 or 6 months ago?

2. Do I have a plan to improve my family's standard of living?

3. Will my family have a huge reaction to outside influences?

4. Have I set a "progressive" role model for my children and have made a supportive example?

C. Am I self-motivated?

1. Honestly, am I more important than I was three or six months ago?

2. Am I executing a well-organized self-improvement program to increase my value in the eyes of others?

3. Do I have a goal for at least five years for the future?

4. Am I an advocate in my own organization or group?

D. Do I have increasing demands on the community?

1. In the past six months, have I done anything to improve the lives of my community?

2. Am I constantly pushing for worthy community processes instead of obstructing, reproaching, or complaining?

3. Within the community, have I taken a leadership role in making some worthwhile progress?

4. Do neighbors and citizens talk about my benefits all year round?

Leadership Principle 4: Take time for self-reflection and use your imagination.

We often describe leaders as people who are particularly busy. That's true.

Leaders have a lot to do.

But this is often overlooked, and it's worth noting:

Leaders spend a lot of time alone. Except for thinking, there is nothing to be left alone.

If you look at the lives of those leaders, you will find that each of them spends a lot of time alone, and they are all great loners.

Moses' usual solitude often lasted for a long time. In the same way, every great leader in the history of Jesus, Shakyamuni, Lao Tzu, Confucius, Muhammad, Gandhi started from life and spent a lot of time alone.

The same goes for politicians, those who have left good or bad reviews in history, who have an epiphany from loneliness.

Franklin. When Roosevelt recovered from the blow of polio, how could he later develop his extraordinary leadership skills if he did not spend a lot of time alone?

It's an interesting question.

It is that if the dictator Hitler had not been held in solitary confinement for a few months in prison, he would probably never have been deprived of his rights. In prison he had time to work out the Mein Kampf plan, a clever mistaken plan to occupy the world, and in a blind moment, betrayed the Germans.

Many communist leaders such as Lenin, Stalin, Marx and many others have been in prison. There, they can concentrate on planning future actions without any distractions.

Prestigious universities require professors to reduce their teaching time to a maximum of five hours per week in order to give students time to think.

Many great business managers are surrounded by assistants, secretaries, calls, and reports all day long. But you'll find that for 166 hours a week and 720 hours a month, they'll spend a surprising amount of time thinking non-stop.

Here's the point: Successful people in any field take time for self-reflection.

Leaders use solitude to connect trivial questions, find answers, make plans, in a word, and play out their superhuman minds.

Many people fail to exercise their proactive leadership skills because they validate themselves with others and with other things, not with themselves.

You will know this kind of person very well: he does everything not to make himself lonely, he tries his best to revolve around others, in the office, he can't stand loneliness, so he wanders around looking for others.

He rarely spends his evenings alone. As soon as he woke up, he felt the pressure to talk to people, and he was hungry for jokes and small talk.

When such people are forced to be alone due to circumstances, he will look for ways not to feel lonely.

He would use television, newspapers, radios, telephones, etc., anything else that could replace his thinking.

He would say, "Mr. TV, Mr. Newspaper occupy my mind, and I fear that my mind will occupy my heart." ”

This gentleman, who could not bear the loneliness, avoided independent thinking. He closes his mind, it's a perverted mentality, he lacks his own thoughts.

As time passes, Mr. Lonely will have an empty head and give birth to a lot of inappropriate actions.

He is not able to form a fixed and inconsistent goal, a stable personality.

He would unfortunately ignore his unused superhuman powers.

Don't be Mr. Lonely and Durable.

Successful leaders gain superhuman strength in solitude.

Then you can too. Let's take a look at how to do that.

As part of my professional training program, I had 13 trainees shut down for an hour a day for two weeks.

Ask them to let go of all distractions and think constructively about anything that comes into their minds.

Two weeks later, without exception, each trainee reported that the experience was surprisingly useful and valuable.

One guy said that his relationship with the manager of another company was on the verge of breaking down before the experiment, but after careful consideration, he discovered the source of the problem and the way to correct it.

Others have also reported that being alone has allowed them to solve similar problems, such as changing jobs, marital problems, buying a house, choosing a college for their children, etc.

Everyone who was trained happily reported that being alone gave him a deeper understanding of himself, including his strengths and weaknesses, than ever before.

The trainers also found that the decisions made in the experiment were 100% correct!

When the fog is dispelled, the right choice is fairly clear.

Therefore, be conscious of being alone.

Recently, one of my assistants completely changed her stance on a difficult issue, and I was particularly curious about the matter and wondered why she changed her mind, because the question is typical.

Her answer was as follows: "Well, I don't know at all what we have to do. I woke up at 3:30 this morning, made a cup of coffee, sat on the couch and thought about 7:30 a.m. Now I can see the whole thing clearly. For me, the only thing I can do is change my position. ”

And now her new position has been proven to be completely correct.

Set aside some time (at least 30 minutes) each day for as little as you decide.

Mornings may be best for you before someone else wakes up, and late at night is also a better time.

The important thing is to choose the moment when your mind is clear and you can completely get out of your troubles.

You can use this time to think in two ways: directly or indirectly.

When you think directly, when you think carefully, you carefully study the main problems you are facing. In solitude, your mind will consider all the questions and find the right answer.

When thinking indirectly, let your mind think freely about all the questions that come to mind. At such times, your subconscious mind will tap the river of memories and fill the questions in your mind with the questions in your mind. Indirect thinking is quite helpful in terms of self-estimation. Prompt you to face some very basic questions, such as:

How can I do my best? What should I do next?

Remember: a leader's main job is to think.

The best preparation for a leader is to think.

Set aside some time each day to be alone and think about how you can be successful.

Bottom line: To be a strong leader, put these four principles into practice.

1. Exchange ideas with the people you want to influence. If you look at things from someone else's point of view, it's easy to get others to do what you think. Before you act, ask yourself the following question: "What would I think about if I swapped places with someone else?" ”

2. When dealing with others, you should bring the principle of "human touch". Ask yourself, "What is a humane way of doing things?" In everything you do, show that you put others first, treat others in a way that you are happy to accept, and you will be rewarded (empathy).

3. Eager to forge ahead. Believe in progress. Work for it. In everything you do, you always want to improve, and you have to think about meeting high standards. Generally speaking, subordinates tend to imitate their superiors. It is important to find out that the behavior of the boss is indeed worth emulating. Remember the following motto: "Whether at home, at work, or in social life, as long as things are progressing, I will work hard for this progress." ”

4. Take some time for self-reflection and spark your imagination. Arrange opportunities for yourself to be alone to unleash your energy and find solutions to personal or business problems. Use the thinking technique of all great leaders, which is self-reflection.

How to harness the magic of generosity at a critical juncture in life.

Thoughtful and magical, but it's easy to overlook. When you encounter something dangerous, try to shrink your mind, otherwise you will fail if it happens.

When you want to use the "stingy" approach, here are a few principles to keep you generous. After reading it, you may want to write these principles on a small card in case you need them.

A. When a villain wants to bring you down, be generous. Confirm that someone wants you to fail, to go through misfortune, to be punished. But if you remember the following three principles, they can hurt you in the next step:

1. If you refuse to fight the scumbags, you will win without a fight. Fighting villains will only lower your status. Be generous at all times.

2. Being plotted against is evidence that you are improving.

3. Remind yourself that the plotters are psychologically unhealthy. Be generous and feel sorry for them. If you can maintain generosity, it is enough to protect yourself from the attacks of despicable villains.

B. Be confident when the feeling of "I didn't get what I deserved" envelops you. Remember: if you think about your weaknesses, it's not right, and when you think about yourself as an inferior citizen, you'll find that you're really wrong.

Use the following avenues to drive away the idea of despising yourself.

1. Being valued by others will help you gain self-esteem. What outsiders think of you has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself.

2. Pay attention to your own conditions. Build self-confidence and use it. Learn to praise yourself and recognize your strengths.

3. Put others in the right place. Someone else is just an ordinary person, so there's no need to be afraid of them.

4. Generosity is enough to make you know how good you are!

C. Be generous when disputes and quarrels seem inevitable. Here's how to successfully maintain calm and avoid unnecessary quarrels and disputes.

1. Ask yourself, "Honestly, are things getting to the point where they have to be noisy right now?" ”

2. Self-reminder: You can never gain anything from an argument, on the contrary, always lose something.

Showing generosity is enough to make people understand that quarrels, disputes, and never help you achieve your desired goals.

D. Be generous when you feel frustrated. It is impossible to achieve great success without going through twists and turns and failures.

But it is impossible to live without setbacks. The magnanimous thinker's view of setbacks is as follows:

1. Think of setbacks as a lesson, learn something from it, study it, and use it to guide you forward. Learn from every setback.

2. Mix experimentation with persistence. Abandon the old ways and adopt new ones. The generosity of thought is enough to make people understand that frustration is nothing more than a state of mind, and there is no great harm.

E. When love begins to slip, be generous. Wrong, despicable ideas such as "she (he) is not suitable for me, I want to find a new love" will stifle love and hurt feelings. Be generous when things don't go well in the club of love.

1. Focus on your lover's strengths and put the weaknesses aside;

2. Do something for your partner and be consistent. Thoughtfulness is enough to make a person find the secret to maintaining a happy marriage.

F. When you feel that your progress in work is slow, be generous, no matter what you do, don't care what kind of occupation it is, how high your status is, how much you are paid, etc. To improve the quantity and quality of your work, do the following:

"I can do better, I can climb higher mountains." Anything can be done better, and there is no end to anything in the world. And when you think, "I can do better", the method will automatically appear, the plan will flash in your mind, and thinking that you can do better, will use your initiative.

Thoughtfulness is enough to make you understand: if you prioritize service, money will find its own home.

Publ.l.us Syrus once said:

A wise man is the master of thinking, and a fool is a slave of thinking.