Her name is Yaya, a little girl who has been sold.

She has two older sisters, the eldest and the second, and she is the third girl.

Since she was a child, she heard her neighbor's grandmother say how good her mother was to them, because when she was named, it was not Zhaodi, Pandi, and Yindi, but the eldest girl, second girl, and third girl.

Dad wanted a boy, and so did her own grandmother, but Mom didn't say anything, just quietly took her belly to the frozen river in winter to continue washing clothes.

When Sanya was not born, her mother expected her to be a boy.

If Sanya was a boy, she wouldn't have to work as hard as her mother. There is no need to get up before dawn to dig wild vegetables, no need to get up before dawn to collect firewood and burn firewood, no need to serve the family's meal at dawn, and then she silently leaves with her clothes.

Mother is not allowed to serve at the table, they say that the mother is a foreigner, she is here to serve as a cow and a horse, and the person who serves people cannot be served at the table and cannot eat with everyone.

Even when mom is pregnant!

Mom is very quiet, she is busy from morning to night, when I am in my mother's belly, I have been following my mother to bump, I feel that I have been moving, or I am nested, I will kick my mother when I am uncomfortable, sometimes she will move, sometimes not.

She would touch me occasionally, but rarely, and I thought I was just an unborn child and shouldn't care about that, especially since she was just a poor woman.

However, I still want her to touch me more.

I was hungry a lot, when I was in my mother's belly, and when I came out. Because when I was in the womb, my mother was always unhappy, and I was not happy, and after I was born, my brows were furrowed and grew together.

As a girl, ugly.

So after I was born, my grandmother didn't like it.

Grandma said that I was a broom star, and I was born with a frown, and I was a little mongrel who brought bad luck to the family.

My mother didn't protect me, she just left silently, my second sister took care of me, but she didn't dare to protect me behind her, she was afraid that her grandmother would scold her white-eyed wolf.

Sister Erya is not a white-eyed wolf, I saw that she secretly saved the vegetable nest and stuffed it to her mother, so that her mother could eat it on the way. Mom took it, didn't say anything, it was still so quiet.

Since I was born, I haven't seen my mother laugh, I haven't seen my mother cry, I haven't seen my mother angry, although my mother doesn't like me, and I don't like the eldest girl and the second girl, but we still like my mother.

Because, that's our mother!

One day, the neighbor's grandmother said that her mother was gone, and when she was washing clothes, her mother fell into the river with her belly, and when she floated up, her whole body was covered with ice ballast.

The neighbor's grandmother said, "It's a pity, it's a boy in the belly, I've been looking forward to the boy for so long, and I finally have it, but it's gone." Alas~"

I remember that my mother didn't come back that night, and my father and grandmother were scolding, saying that my mother was not in order, and she was not home at such a late hour, and I didn't know that the family was waiting for dinner.

The next morning they didn't come back, and they were still scolding.

That morning, when my grandmother cooked, she steamed a few vegetable nests, looked at the empty rice at home, and scolded her mother for eating too much, and the things in the kitchen went down so quickly, I don't know if my mother secretly ate them.

Erya defended her mother by saying that her mother didn't, and her grandmother opened her mouth to scold Erya, was it that she, a little mongrel, ate it with her mother.

The second girl shook her head and was stunned, chased and beaten by her grandmother with a stick, crying very innocently, and the eldest sister hugged me and watched, and we didn't move.

"Big sister, why did grandma beat the second sister, the second sister obviously didn't eat."

The eldest sister said, "Grandma is like that, don't pay attention to her." ”

When the eldest sister was ten years old, there was no rice at home, and the grandmother ignored the eldest sister's crying and resistance, and dragged the eldest sister to sell it.

Erya stood at the door, watching the eldest sister leave, her eyes full of tears and resentment.

At that time, I didn't know what the Xu family was, I only knew that the eldest sister seemed to be scared, and the second sister was a little angry.

I didn't understand, so I asked, asked the second sister.

The second sister said, "The eldest sister is married and is no longer the girl in our family." She was sold by her grandmother to a disabled old man, and became the fourth daughter-in-law, the first three daughters-in-law were all beaten to death, and the eldest sister may not live long. ”

Sanya heard the second sister murmur later, "It's okay to die, you don't have to suffer if you die!" ”

I don't understand the words of adults, but I know that death, my mother is dead, and I died on the river with my unborn brother, and I won't see my mother after I die.

The second sister asked me, do you miss your mother?

Think?

I don't know.

One day, Erya was taken out by her grandmother and she didn't come back, and I was the only girl left in the house.

Grandma said that she sent Erya to a rich family to be a girl, maybe she could be a girl in a room, and she could be regarded as following the master, and if she was lucky, she could carry a concubine.

Grandma brought back a bag of silver that day, not a big one, a small one, but grandma was happy, looking left and right at the fine ingot, like an old flower trembling and smiling.

A few days later, my grandmother sent me out of the house.

On the way out, my grandmother told me that she wanted to get a new daughter-in-law for my father, and the new daughter-in-law didn't like to have children left by the previous one at home, so Erya and I had to leave.

At that time, I remember that I was as tall as ripe rice, passing through the rice field, and it was just drowning my head.

I was sent to a family of scholars, and my grandmother said that I was so blessed, and a noble person looked at me in these eyes and thought that I must be smart and clever, so she bought me.

I turned into a little girl who grinded ink, waiting for the little lady in the study, the little lady she was very beautiful, there were many beautiful clothes every day, and there were many brothers who loved her.

I heard that in order to give birth to a girl, the mother fought for four children, and the results were all boys, and the mother was angry enough, and the bodhisattva who begged for the fifth child finally asked for such a girl.

They said that the little lady was held in the palm of her hand, and I didn't speak.

I saw that the mistress would personally bring food and drink every day, come to the study to see the little lady, and bring her different gifts every day.

Today is a small golden hairpin, tomorrow is a small hosta, and the day after tomorrow is a beautiful set of clothes, every day, every day is not the same.

I don't know what it feels like because my mom didn't give me anything.

I saw that the mistress would smile at the little lady every day, but the little lady didn't seem to care much, but she would also bring tea to the mistress, occasionally leaning on the mistress, and smiling sweetly.

Sweet...

Yes, sweet!

I don't know why I feel that way, but I just feel sweet.

I've never seen my mother laugh, and I don't know why they're laughing, but seeing them laugh makes my heart feel sour.

One day, when I was grinding, I accidentally got the grinding on the little lady's favorite dress, and the little lady punished me for doing the laundry.

I held the little lady's clothes, rubbed them a little bit, and couldn't rub them off for a long time.

I don't know what to do.

The little girl next to me saw it and looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

At night, a manservant came to me with a stick, and I was a little scared, but I didn't know what I was afraid of.

The second sister said that it is better to be dead than to be alive, I remember.

I was supposed to be beaten to death with a stick, but when I passed by the well, I jumped into the well while people were not paying attention, and I thought it would be better to drown like my mother, but I didn't know that the feeling of being filled with cold water was so uncomfortable

I want to struggle, I want to breathe...

I thought of my mother's day when she jumped without hesitation, and I stood by the river and watched her hand fall slowly, just like today.

Mom, I'm coming to you.

This time, I hope you can hug me, I hope you can smile at me, and I hope you can give me a gift too.

Mom, I miss you.