The ground was still damp after a light rain. Lin Yushan rolled down the car window, and the April evening breeze lazily blew on his cheeks, bringing a fresh smell of grass and trees.

When the car drove to the gate of the school, Xu Mengzhou was a little uneasy, and got out of the car to find the old man in the guard room and said that he would send her back to the dormitory. The old man looked him up and down, and before he could speak, Lin Yushan grabbed Xu Mengzhou's sleeve and shook his head vigorously to signal that he didn't need to.

Xu Mengzhou then remembered that Lin Yushan had explained what she didn't want to be seen by her classmates, although she didn't understand it, she could only rely on her.

He opened the car door, hunched over and took out a coat from the co-pilot and put it on Lin Yushan's shoulders, saying that she was wearing less today, and she should wear a coat to come out again when it was so cold at night. Lin Yushan grabbed the thick coat and pressed it on his body with great cherishment.

The two stood at the gate of the school and looked in, and there were few people on the wide campus walkway. On Saturday nights, students mostly enjoy the weekend with their boyfriend and girlfriend or other good friends, and now there are only a few black figures scattered on the road.

Xu Mengzhou's tone was full of apologies, and it was too sloppy today. There was an unpleasant unexpected event, and I didn't have time to give her a decent birthday present.

Lin Yushan didn't care about what gifts were or not. It wasn't until Xu Mengzhou said that she was going to make up for her birthday again after a while, that her eyes re-emerged.

Lin Yushan reluctantly took off the coat he was wearing and put it back in the car. Xu Mengzhou also confessed that if she was asked for trouble, she must tell herself. After she got off one by one, she urged Xu Mengzhou to get into the car quickly.

The car went downhill, turned, and drove into the night.

A cool breeze hit. Losing the cover of his coat, Lin Yushan couldn't help but shiver.

She watched as the red taillights flickered and faded away, turning to the size of a star before disappearing completely. Then he turned around calmly and walked back to the dormitory with his hands and arms in his hands.

Step out of a warm haven and step into the icy unknown once again. In just a few hours with Xu Mengzhou, Lin Yushan almost forgot what happened at noon today.

As if remembering something, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at it. It was found that there were neither new WeChat messages nor missed calls.

I left suddenly, and I don't know what happened to the lunch dinner.

She was mentally prepared for the worst, but after a few hours, her mobile phone was calm, which really made her a little confused.

Lin Yushan originally thought that he had already been released today, and he wouldn't say a word to those people in the future. I am not afraid of shadows, I can say whatever others like, is it difficult to affect my normal graduation and graduate school?

Interpersonal relationship?

it.

But the closer she got to the dormitory building, the slower and slower her steps became, and she stopped and stopped all the way, but she still arrived.

Obviously, they teamed up to deceive themselves, but now they are starting to be afraid.

Lin Yushan stood at the door of the girls' dormitory building and stopped. Occasionally, a few female classmates who returned to the dormitory passed by, and some of them looked at her when they passed by her with toiletries; And some of them nodded to her in a friendly way as if they had seen her.

She also smiled and nodded in response, so that she should not be consumed by negative emotions.

Don't feel that everyone's eyes are prickly just because of this unpleasant noon.

Lin Yushan took a few steps back and looked up. There weren't as many lights on in the dorm building as there were from Monday to Friday, and her gaze slowly moved up to 420 on the fourth floor.

The windows are dark.

Lin Yushan breathed a sigh of relief.

She went upstairs and took out the key to open the door and turn on the light.

The shoes she hadn't had time to pack were lying quietly at the foot of the bed, everything was the same as before she left the house in the morning, and the furnishings in the room seemed to tell her that nothing had happened.

It's Saturday, and the roommates don't usually come back to sleep at this time. When she could, she couldn't be sure.

Lin Yushan packed up his clothes and toiletries and went to the bathhouse to take a bath, washing away his fatigue today. When she returned to the dormitory again, it was half past nine, and the night wind was very cool, so she closed the window and drew the curtains and went to bed early.

Today, she was particularly afraid of the dark, so she turned off the ceiling light in the dormitory and then turned on the night light on her bed.

Lin Yushan's quilt was firmly tucked under his body, leaving not a single gap. She tucked the Airpods into her ears and began to play English listening, closing her eyes and forcing herself to either practice listening or sleep.

The fear in my heart slipped through the crack of the window and into my heart along with the whimpering wind outside.

Lin Yushan stretched out his hand from the quilt and groped, and took a mirror from the small table. She squinted, looking at the skin on her neck by the faint light of the nightlight.

She touched it, and there was a small purplish-red spot of blood near her chin, caused by a broken capillary.

Fortunately, there are basically no marks left, which is okay.

The feeling of suffocation and helplessness of being choked by the plateau in the hotel during the day is still there. Lin Yushan turned over after putting the mirror back in its place, sinking his side face into the pillow.

Before I knew it, my cheeks were hot and my nose was clogged.

Tears burst through the carrying capacity of the eye socket and flow down the bridge of the nose to the other eye, where they eventually converge and soak the pillow.

The airways were hot, the nose was blocked, and tears covered the upper half of the face. Her lips opened slightly to make sure she could still breathe.

Everyone is not alone when they come into this world. But why now, only I live like a rootless duckweed?

There is no father, and there is no mother.

What about Xu Mengzhou? Who is Xu Mengzhou?

To paraphrase the logic taught to her by her father, Xu Mengzhou is just a passerby in her life in the final analysis.

He has his own life, he will be old, and there is a high probability that he will die before himself.

Moreover, she knows very well that she and Xu Mengzhou are not a "family" at all.

Wherever they go, people exist in this world as a unit of home.

Only themselves, like a sad single-celled paramecium.

Lin Yushan suddenly remembered Lin Weixian. The father who was more than strict with himself and not loving enough.

Lin's father and Lin's mother are both only children. Both of their parents died very early, so Lin Yushan has not had grandparents since he was born.

Her mother died in a car accident when she was three years old. At that time, she had almost no concept of death, and her memory of her mother was vague. It wasn't until later that when he grew up a little, Lin Yushan would occasionally see his father muttering to himself in the bedroom holding a portrait of his mother.

The father's rough hand stroked the picture of the gentle and beautiful woman in the frame, and muttered, "Tell you, I want to open it." You left so early, maybe it was another kind of kindness to Yushan. ”

At that time, Lin Yushan still didn't understand the meaning of this sentence.

As she grew older, she began to notice how different she was from other children. Other children are accompanied by many relatives from both the father and mother families.

And themselves, no.

The only blood relative in this world is his father.

After the death of the mother, the father not only smiled less, but also became more and more harsh. Compared with the father role of other families, Lin Yushan feels that he does not look like a father at all.

Father's words are not many, and when he speaks, it must be discipline.

Father can use a calm and almost ruthless robot mind, mercilessly pour cold water on her when she is emotional, analyze every word that teachers and classmates in school say to her, tell her the true meaning of other people's words and what the other party wants to achieve, and finally summarize it into one sentence:

"Yushan, not all of this world is beautiful. I want you to be skeptical all the time, I want you to see the opposite side of the world. That's the only way you can survive, you know. ”

But she felt very conflicted, because her father had done a lot.

When I was in elementary school, I played a game of hide and seek at home with my classmates. Father faced her smoky room, but he was able to tidy it up without saying a word. According to her taste and quirk of food, she can take the trouble to repeat the tedious process of boiled beef again and again.

Lin Yushan didn't envy other classmates, saying that his mother always cooked food at home. Because in this regard, the father seems to be doing even better than their mother.

Tears gradually wet the pillow, and the nose was completely unable to breathe. Lin Yushan's blurred eyes were full of tears, she gasped for breath, and her cry was driven by the scattered breath and swayed. It's especially clear on a cold night.

Daddy, can you hear me?

I really miss you.

-----

The next day, Lin Yushan got up early in the morning.

She couldn't remember when she fell asleep yesterday, only that her head felt dizzy. She habitually put on sneakers and headphones to go for a run in the stadium, then went back to the bathhouse for a simple shower, and then went to the cafeteria for breakfast.

She nibbled on meat buns and drank soy milk. The mobile phone rang, and it was Xu Mengzhou who sent a WeChat message to ask her how she was doing last night and whether she was embarrassed.

Lin Yushan replied with a straw in his mouth, saying that there is no situation for the time being, please rest assured Mr. Xu.

Back in the dormitory, my roommate was still nowhere to be seen. Lin Yushan put on a long-sleeved T-shirt in front of the mirror, added a casual light-colored zippered sweatshirt on the outside, wore jeans and sneakers on the bottom, and finally tied a spiritual high ponytail. This body is the most comfortable match for her on weekdays.

She left the dormitory and first went to find a shared bicycle near the school gate to scan the code. Click on the AutoNavi Map App page to zoom in to confirm the route, carefully set up the mobile phone on the bicycle, and then ride out slowly on the pedal.

Although he is already in his third year, Lin Yushan has not walked around here carefully.

Jingzhou University is located in Beicheng District, Jingzhou City. It used to be a manufacturing base, but in recent years, factories have been relocated to new economic development zones, and the government has designated one of the northern districts as a university town. It includes nearly eight colleges and universities, including polytechnic universities and normal universities. Some of the old worker communities left over from the factory have become the first choice for college students to rent a house.

Lin Yushan switched back and forth between navigation and rental software, compared the distance and price from the school, and locked in a location that she thought was good.

She saw a real estate agency on the side of the road, so she parked her bike-sharing bike on the side of the road and went in to ask about the neighborhood she liked.

The intermediary brother poured a glass of water for Lin Yushan and enthusiastically introduced the situation of this community: it was basically built in 2000, and the building is relatively old. But the infrastructure is OK, the water, electricity and gas are stable and will not stop suddenly, and there should be supermarkets and vegetable markets around, but places like cinemas and large shopping malls are relatively far away, after all, it used to be an industrial area.

Lin Yushan didn't care about this, she knew that the main thing here was cost-effective, and there were quite a lot of college students renting here. So I asked the agent what the price of a room here was.

The agent frowned, took her to the rental system in the computer to look at it for a long time, and finally found two eligible rooms.

"The houses here are basically separated by the landlord, and one house can be separated by several rooms. That is no different from a shared house, the common areas are shared, and the real one room is a bit less. ”

Lin Yushan asked, "Are there many people sharing a house here?" ”

Intermediary brother: "There are quite a lot, the most here are shared houses, and they are the cheapest." The second is the partition I just introduced to you, and that private space will be a little bit more. One room is really few and expensive. ”

Lin Yushan pointed to the computer screen: "What about this one?" ”

The agent brother saw Lin Yushan dressed as a student and knew that she might not be able to afford to rent, so he told the truth: "This newspaper is 1800, if you can pay a deposit here, I can help you find the landlord and ask for the lowest price." Actually, girl, it's much more cost-effective for you to find someone to share a house! Look at this landlord for 500 ......."

Lin Yushan's heart suddenly cooled, thinking that he might encounter cheap ones if he was more diligent and found a few more. But I didn't even eat lunch, and I walked around the entire college town and couldn't find a house at the right price.

The money in the card was all given by Xu Mengzhou, and it must not be touched. It's a pity that I didn't graduate and can't afford the rent.

Can I continue to live in the dormitory?